I just want to say from experience that parents are way too pushy with their kids when it comes to "making them a star". We had an experience with one of our sons who at a very young age was a phenonemal baseball player. Upmires would come up to him after games and talk to him. He was always small until about the 11th grade, but beginning at age 8, he started playing with older kids, and not "sissy" little league (I'm not calling little league "sissy", that is what the "SELECT" baseball coaches called it. Well, we got sucked into this fast paced world of "SELECT" baseball, and my son even won a World Series at the age of 10, and then came in second place at another world series at age 13. BUT, it was not worth it. Not only were we shelling out money we didn't have, and always out soliciting sponsorships, but our son was EXPECTED to make phenonemal plays. The "great" plays were not enough! I remember watching other players' parents on the bleachers sitting there hoping their son didn't make ONE mistake, and if they did, everyone in the bleachers on both sides could hear the parent angrily yelling at their kid. (that is just stupid). And our children know, they know if we are not happy with their performance. Beginning at very young ages, our kids just want to please us. Our son still plays ball a lot and he enjoys it. He can pitch 90 miles an hour, BUT he doesn't. In high school, he said he missed "PLAYING" baseball. It wasn't "fun" anymore. If he played a "perfect" game, there was always something else he should have done better. And also, our kids were expected to take "private lessons" if they were in select baseball. I know of parents that paid hundreds of dollars "EVERY" week. I take full responsibility for my part (being too pushy and always telling my son how to be better). Some of the parents on our team had horrible attitudes. I stopped buying my son the "Baseball is Life" t-shirts, because it is NOT. I remember one of the first tournaments that we had "boy pitch". My son pitched the first three innings (that was the maximun at his age, and then his good friend came in and pitched the last three innings. We were leading 5-3 in the last inning with two outs. The other team had 2 runners on base, and their #9 hitter (this tiny little kid) came up to the plate and hit his first home run and we got beat 6-5. My son ran up to his father and I and said, "mom and dad, can I have "2" hotdogs???? But most of the other boys AND THEIR PARENTS were crying!!! If we would have won, we would have gotten to travel and play in a "real tournament". My point is (and by the way, the boy that was pitching and gave up the winning homerun, he cried and was upset for a long time an blamed himself for the loss. He now is playing for the Astros and played with them at Spring Training in Kissimmee this past Spring) and so like I said my point is that we all need to "calm down" and let our kids have fun. I remember very specifically in one tournament when we were ahead by one run, and the other team had the bases loaded with "NO" outs. They brought in my son to pitch. He had a huge grin on his face as he struck out the side and we won the game! And it was because he was having fun, and had the confidence, and was just "playing" baseball. I was probably one of the worst parents, always wanting my son to do better, while in fact he was "SO" good, and I never slowed down and shared with him more positive than negative comments. Eventually, the stress caught up to him. The huge smile that was always on his face had been replaced with stomache aches before games. When our children make mistakes (in ball games, or in gymnastics, or whatever they do) don't you know that they aleady know it????? What they really need is an icecream from TCBY instead of more private lessons. I wish we could go back and start over again, and not have let so much pressure be put on our son. I remember the morning when the coach called and told us that some of the parents had a problem with our son "always" having to leave for church. (We go to church 2 hours on Sunday morning and 1 hour Sunday night, and then 1 hour on Wednesday night). The coach said he personally did not have a problem, but several of the parents did. I gladly told him that he had just helped me and my husband make a decision that we had been struggling with WAY TOO LONG. Our reply was, then our son can't play with yall, but thanks for everything. My son is now 21 and when he goes and plays ball, he is really fun to watch. He'll catch a fly ball in centerfield bare handed, or climb the fence and rob someone of a homerun, or throw someone out from centerfield that is trying to tag up and score. After the games, there are always guys that come up to him and ask him if he ever played pro ball. He just smiles and says "no". I'm just happy that he is having fun ---- something that we should have made sure happened many years ago. SO for you parents that are just starting out, PLEASE HEAR ME, don't fall into the same thing we did. It is NOT worth it to your child or your relationship with your child. Let you kid have fun, because one day some stupid game won't even matter. But how you loved your kid will! And by making your child be subject to angry, degrading, & cussing coaches is not at all appropriate or okay! Good Luck, and I'm happy if just ONE person listens.
(Original Air Date: 05/21/07) Dr. Phil’s child star competition heats up! Seven kids with stars in their eyes face the final leg of the competition in The Dr. Phil House, but do their mothers unwittingly sabotage their chances? After speaking with Veronica, Kiki and Larissa about how they could be a liability to their child’s success, Dr. Phil turns to Kim and Susan. Playing a video clip of Kim’s daughter, Alaina, in an interview, Dr. Phil points out the pressure and stress that she feels and how it may affect her performance in school. Then, Dr. Phil shows a video of Susan assisting her daughter, Meagan, during the dance rehearsals. In the video, Meagan struggles under her demands. Will these mothers adjust their behavior and take on a healthy, supportive role in their child’s career? Then, it’s time for the final talent show! Each child performs on the Dr. Phil stage, in front of his studio audience and a panel of Hollywood’s top talent agents, managers and casting directors, who decide the grand-prize winner. The children receive fabulous prizes for their hard work, but they mean little to one upset mother. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
