Topic : Trying to Quit Smoking?

Well that "New Year" is almost here !! Time to reflect on what has pasted us by. Sometimes we think that the year pasted was not  that big of a year.  But we learned something down the road. 

 I heard this on Oprah many times "when you know better, you do better". For all that have tried soooo many times to quit smoking, "journal it down" your downfall, so the next step you take won't be in that same hole. Maybe in writing it, it will stick better in your mind. 

I too have cried, begged, and prayed so hard to quit the habit I thought I loved and hated. But this journey that I am now on has a real sense of peace with it. I too prayed to God  to help me quit, but he did not put that cigarette to my mouth. I did. I changed my prayers to help me find greater knowledge in dealing with quitting. And that happen, I discovered this board and the knowledge of other people is what help me find a way to get out of the smoke, the haze you are in.  Never give up your quest to be smoke free. 

Go back to the archives and read and read, you'll never regret it, you will come away with some knowledge about quitting. 

May the New  Year bring a sense of peace inside those, that are fighting a battle with themselves. And to those that have quit may the peace you have within, spill over to the ones that need it most. 

Linda 

Eight months, four weeks, one day, 14 hours, 9 minutes and 1 second. 6590 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,245.54. Life saved: 3 weeks, 1 day, 21 hours, 10 minutes.
 

I am very concerned about my husbands health! I quit smoking on the 11th of April 2004 and have smoked only 1 cig since then. I still have days like yesterday when I really crave them, but even though there is a pack sitting right on my dining room table I dont light up! I am not bragging, I know it is hard and I experience it every day! My husband and I have been together since 1993 and he has smoked since long before we met. He has lost at least 3 family members, at not such an old age, to emphysema. He says every day that he wants to quit but he also says he doesnt have the will power that I do. How can I help him? Do I just have to wait for him to come around? We have 2 children, a 9 year old son who absolutely despises the smoking, and a 1 year old daughter who I have caught eating cigarette butts from the ground! YUK! I am sooo scared that my husband will get sick like his Grandfather, Grandmother, and Aunt......... He has also been previously addicted to drugs and now will not take any medications . Even if he would we dont have insurance and cant afford to get that kind of medication without it.  I get angry every time he tries and says he cant because he isnt strong enough. Our son yells at him about it and yells at me everytime I give my husband cash because hes afraid his dad is gonna buy cigarettes, and he isbuying them. I am glad that my son is so opposed to cigarettes! But is there anything I can do to help my husband? Can I scare him into it? Can I do more than just continue to tell him that he can do it? He has tried the stop smoking pills and almost got it done. Help!!!! Anyone know any other ways I can help him? 

Supportive in MO. 

Hi MO, 

My name is Kim. I am new to this board and read your post. It has been 20 hours and 18 minutes since I smoked my last cigarette. 

I was asked to quit by my surgeon, as I am scheduled for a fairly minor surgical procedure in two weeks. This surgery is something I have wanted to do for a long time, but was unable. Now that I am finally scheduled for the surgery, I have to quit smoking.  I thought quitting smoking would not be as tough to do with a "prize" at the end of the tunnel. But it is HARD! 

I have been tearful, cranky, and depressed all day. The minutes seem like hours, the hours like days.  

All day long my husband has catered to me. He said anything I wanted, he would do. A massage? No problem. Dinner? He cooked AND cleaned up. Cravings? He took me to Walmart and bought a ton of candies and comfort snacks. Anxiety? He encouraged me to get some special bath bubbles and candles and he is going to draw me a both shortly.  

My husband does not smoke, and hates me smoking. But whatever he has said or done, he has never ever made me feel like I was some sort of loser or a disgusting pig for smoking. He has always told me that he is selfish, and wants me to be around forever. He never wants to visit me in the hospital and see me unable to catch my breath, or to watch me get sick and die from lung cancer. It is never pleasant when he says these things, but if he tried lecturing or scolding, I would feel like smoking even more. 

I am not sure what kind of smoker you were, or what prompted you to quit, but every person is different. You cannot WILL yourself to quit, each person that successfully quits has been motivated by something other than another person's desire for them to quit. 

From your post, I would be concerned about making your husband feel like a "loser" and "bad Father". Allowing your 9 year old to yell at either one of you is disturbing. Why are you "giving" your husband money? Doesn't he work and have his own money? I may be getting the wrong idea here, but is there any chance your husband looks at you as a "mother" figure and by continuing to smoke, he is asserting his will (like a child when they refuse to eat their vegetables?). Just a thought I had after reading some of your choice of words. I could be way off. 

Anyways, I don't believe that you can motivate anyone to quit, and it sounds like that is what you are trying to do. Although you call it supporting......not  the same thing.  you cannot "scare" him into wanting to quit. You cannot "bully" him and your child cannot make him feel like a disgusting pig to make him want to quit.  He has to reach the realization himself, or like me, have something he really wants that he has to quit smoking in order to get. I don't WANT to quit, I HAVE to quit. I just hope I do not start again after the surgery...........\ 

Good luck MO...... 

Kim in Orlando 

I haven't smoked since yesterday morning at nine. I decided that this would be the year that I quit smoking for good. I have smoked about a pack a day since I was 15. My dad "let me". He chewed tobacco and said that he would feel like a hypocrite if he asked me to quit and couldn't stop himself. So, he even bought them for me. My only "rule" was that I was only allowed to smoke at home, but you know I didn't follow that rule. Anyways, I quit during both of my pregnancies. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I threw all the cigarettes and everything that goes with them away. I did not smoke a single puff the whole time, but both times, as soon as I had them, I'd start again. It seems so stupid that I could quit no problem if it came down to harming my babies, but when it came to just my own health I couldn't do it. I also was able to quit for a long time (9/2004 thru 7/2005) last year. I have been smoking a pack a day or more since around july or august. i am ready to quit. I thought that yesterday would be the hardest day because it was the first day and figured that it would get better every day, but today was SO HARD!!! I've read that it gets better after about 3 days. I can't remember from my own experience. I don't remember it being this hard. I had such an amazing day yesterday and was just so full of myself for doing such a great job with everything. I started a diet and exercise program and to have gone all day without smoking. I went to bed last night very proud. But, I woke up this morning with one of the worst headaches I've ever had. I had absolutely no patience with my kids today and felt like I was constantly on the edge of having a nervous breakdown. I sure hope tomorrow will be better because I don't think that I could go through another day like today, feeling how I felt, and not give in and smoke. Another thing is my husband has decided to quit too. He has tried a few times in the past to quit, but was never successful at it. he'd never make it through the first day. He never smoked around me though. He likes to smoke at work. He is a police officer and I guess because of the stress level, he feels he needs them to get through it. So, that has been hard in the past because I knew that he kept them in the car and it was always a big temptation when I was having a craving to just go out there and get one. So, now, I am so grateful that he is doing this with me and as far as I know he hasn't smoked since early yesterday morning. He gets home in a few hours from his 2nd shift since he quit and we'll see if he stopped and picked up some cigarettes or not.  

I'm 33 years old. I've been smoking for 15 years and compromising the health of the people around me. I've tried several times to quit but I used to fail before I start because I didn't have a direct reason to support my decision. This time I stopped smoking for 3 weeks now. I had to use nicotine gum to avoid the headaches and temper. I've registered with a health club to regain my health. I feel good about myself without smoking. I feel cleaner, healthier, smarter and free. I hope a smoke free life for everybody. 

Okay my first message was strongly misunderstood! I guess some of the wording that I used was not taken the way I meant it to be!  First off my husband has access to our bank accounts but he chooses not to go that route though. Because he is a self described "overspender" he doesnt want any checks or cards. His choice not mine! Second our son, I should clear up, he doesnt actually raise his voice, but he tells us that he doesnt like it. He is 9, and is not an "adult" in our home. I used the term yell to try and describe my sons feelings about smoking, that is all!  I dont want to bully my husband, WOW, my post was really really taken the wrong way! I have quit and started smoking again more than once for a few reasons like pregnancy and just because I began to find it disgusting. I am not looking to find ridicule about my family dynamics.......Only looking for ideas to give to my husband! He tells everyone that he wants to quit  but no one has any helpful input for him including myself. Because when I quit I just "did it" or should I say I just didnt. Yes it was a constant struggle and it still is! But I want to help my husband achieve his goal now.... I just was looking for some friendly advice. Do you have any pointers I can pass on to him?  

Still Supportive in MO 

Does anyone have or no of someone who has a problem with chewing tobacco? I have been chewing tobacco for 31 years and I'm only 41 years old. I really want to quit but I find it hard at times to be with out it. Not sure if methods to stop smoking would work or not, can anyone answer that for me? If someone has or knows someone who has quit can you please let me know how they did it. 

 Thanks, Croweman 

Sorry, I was in no way trying to be insulting or judgmental.  

Listen, only you know whay is really going on. I merely read your words and "heard" a few things I thought might be playing in to your problem. You say you want to help your husband, but you don't want to look at your family dynamic.....IMPOSSIBLE... 

Maybe that is the real problem. 

I don't know you, but judging from your reaction, I would have to wonder if this "family dynamic" issue does not play a bigger part than you would like. 

I am not trying to piss you off, just trying to offer some avenue to explore. Obviously threats, letting your husband know how disgusted the family is over his habit, etc. is not working. Maybe you do need to consider the "family dynamic". 

I won't post to you again if you do not ask me to. Seriously, I am not trying to cause you any pain. Be real with yourself,  that is all you need to do. 

Good morning, 

     First time I have written but was checking this topic out and thought I would share my experience. I am 45 yrs old and I have COPD caused by Alpha 1 Antitrypsin deficiency, a gentic heriditary disease. At the age of 25 I had actually quit breathing. After test ran and cleared for  not having cystic fibrosis my doctor checkd for A1AD ( odds were 1 in 100,000). Boy was I lucky or what. This is a rare disease that many have but few are diagnosed properly. Anyway, when I first was diagnosed I was a smoker. My lung doctor told me I had two choices...I could continue to smoke and be lucky to see the age of 30 or stop and at least make it to 40+. At first I cut down, tried the gum ( no patch available at that time) only to find myself slipping back into the routine. on Nov. 17, 1985 I asked God to give me the strength to not pick them up again and to use me as a testimony to his love and divine intervention. I am proud to say I have been smoke free for 21 years. There is hope and help when one truly and sincerely turns it over to someone more powerful than ourselves. There is power in the Lord. Not being a Holier than though but just merrily suggesting if all else has failed try turning it over to Him. Afterall what do you possible have to lose. Have a great day! Keep the Faith!