Message Boards

Topic : 05/23 Secret Love: The Aftermath

Number of Replies: 209
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 18, 2007, 12:42:38 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It was the affair that rocked the DrPhil.com message boards. Bettie says her husband, John, destroyed her trust when he had a six-month relationship with her sister, Molly — an affair that occurred under Bettie’s own roof! John and Bettie are back, and now they have a new family feud. Bettie says her relationship with her mom, Virginia, has been strained since they last appeared on the show. Bettie says she feels a lot of resentment toward her mother for protecting Molly while Molly was having an affair with John. Bettie and John are trying to heal their relationship and move on, but they say Virginia keeps interfering by calling their kids to pump them for information about their marriage. Now, Bettie doesn’t want her children to see or speak to Virginia until they turn 18. Plus, find out what makes Virginia storm offstage. Can Virginia be a positive part of John and Bettie’s life, or should she stay out for good? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.

More May 2007 Show Boards

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 21, 2007, 12:43 am CDT

That's just GROSS!!!!!

All I can say is, " EEEWWWWW!!" . To sleep with a family members spouse is gross!  That is just too much like incest to me. I can not even picture anything sexual about my sisters husband. He is family...like a brother to me.  The thought just makes my skin crawl! 

 

Maybe I'm just weird or something, but that is how I see it. 

 

I think that sister has some very serious issues to deal with. Stabbing a sibbling in the back is just the ultimate betrayal.  Man, if you can't trust your own brother or sister then there is a big problem.  Something like this has got to shake the very foundation of your life. Talk about trust issues from now on.

 

I would not work out anything with either of them.  That goes double for the sister. I know it's that whole forgive and everything, but you have to draw the line somewhere. In my opinion that line has been crossed.  No amount of, "I'm sorrys " will ever help that poor woman get over what they have done. 

 

I think she needs to cut them both out of her life and begin again.  Life is too short to stay on guard from your sister and husband.  There really are men out there that would be faithful to her...no matter how hard a family member tried to sleep with him.

 
May 21, 2007, 8:32 am CDT

Oh, I had thought you just had the names transposed.

Quote From: manofgoods

Look, I'm a guy & I know what she did was wrong, & should be ashamed for that, & what I'm trying to say is, you can replace another man, but you can't replace another relative.

Oh, I had thought you just had the names transposed. But you really think this is a good idea? DNA should never be the sole reason to keep anyone in your life in such a intimate position, especially one whose so remorseless after such a huge betrayal.

 
May 21, 2007, 8:44 am CDT

That's a very dismissive & simplistic way to see this.

Quote From: roni247

She does not need to forget about her sister. She is family, if she was strong enough to stay with her husband, then have a small relationship with her sister, just keep a close eye on them both, it takes two. Life goes on and you have to forgive and never forget. What does not kill us makes us stronger.

That's a very dismissive & simplistic way to see this. Go on with your life because all you have to do is just keep an eye on them both, because it takes two, and to forgive and never forget? There's so much more to it than that. At the very least I would think it's best to stay away from the sister at all costs until the husband & wife are healed & united completely and only when the sister has true remorse for her participation & contributions to their family's hardships.

 

Just as the husband had a choice in his behaviors, the sister did as well & should be held accountable as well.

 

Why should the wife be so forgiving because the adulterous woman was her sister? Obviously DNA meant nothing to her to be able to sleep with her brother-in-law.

 
May 21, 2007, 10:31 am CDT

05/23 Secret Love: The Aftermath

i think the mother should not be interfering in her daughters marriage. she 's only putting a strain in it. my mother has meddled in my marriage and though i figure she means well, i have let her know that she cannot talk to my husband... i have to talk to my husband and technically, its really non of her concern . my sister had a really bad experience with a realtionship and now my mother thinks that i am going to go through the same thing. the problem with my sister was that she let her fiance beat her to a bloody pulp because she was convinced that he loved her....but what my mom needed to understand then was that  no one could stop my sister from getting abused but my sister. she was the one who had to get away from him, not my mom. But when i was a teenager, my boyfriend had a real bad temper and we got into an arguement one night and he started to physically hurt me . but i didn't take it and i ended up beating him up and i threw him out of my car and he had to walk 5 miles home because i left him on the outskirts of our town. i didn't talk to him or see him for 5 years.   i don't tolerate ignorance.   
 
May 21, 2007, 9:03 pm CDT

True

Quote From: our4sons

That's a very dismissive & simplistic way to see this. Go on with your life because all you have to do is just keep an eye on them both, because it takes two, and to forgive and never forget? There's so much more to it than that. At the very least I would think it's best to stay away from the sister at all costs until the husband & wife are healed & united completely and only when the sister has true remorse for her participation & contributions to their family's hardships.

 

Just as the husband had a choice in his behaviors, the sister did as well & should be held accountable as well.

 

Why should the wife be so forgiving because the adulterous woman was her sister? Obviously DNA meant nothing to her to be able to sleep with her brother-in-law.

Does it matter if she is her sister?  She didn't act like a sister when she had an affair with her husband.  Has she even expressed any remorse?

 

If it was just some stranger he did that with people wouldn't expect her to invite them over so they can be best friends.  Why is it different for a sister who hasn't acted like a sister?

 
May 22, 2007, 7:27 am CDT

I had that same thought!

Quote From: puggles

Does it matter if she is her sister?  She didn't act like a sister when she had an affair with her husband.  Has she even expressed any remorse?

 

If it was just some stranger he did that with people wouldn't expect her to invite them over so they can be best friends.  Why is it different for a sister who hasn't acted like a sister?

If it was just some stranger he did that with people wouldn't expect her to invite them over so they can be best friends.  Why is it different for a sister who hasn't acted like a sister?

 

I had the same thought!

 
May 22, 2007, 12:45 pm CDT

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote From: roni247

She does not need to forget about her sister. She is family, if she was strong enough to stay with her husband, then have a small relationship with her sister, just keep a close eye on them both, it takes two. Life goes on and you have to forgive and never forget. What does not kill us makes us stronger.
if that was MY sister sleeping MY husband i'd be pissed with both and I would cut her out of my life.  why should anyone have a relationship with a family member who sleeps with their spouse?  that is an off limits topic. end of story. family should no better than to interfere in a marrage.

so i am sorry if it hurts then you cut it out of your life...
 
May 22, 2007, 4:51 pm CDT

I don't know why

You seem to have forgiven your husband so why be so hard on your sister? I don't understand it for the life of me. You can forgive your husband but are having a hard time getting over what your sister did. As far as I am concerned, if you can forgive one, who is not blood related, you can forgive the other. They both knew what they were doing, so none is more guilty or innocent than the other. She will always be your sister, husbands come and go, especially the ones like him. Neither cared two hoots about your feelings at the time.

I don't like to involve children in these situations. If they want to see their aunt, they should be able to. Don't involve them in your mess.

 
May 22, 2007, 4:56 pm CDT

Well said

Quote From: mampel

once again I cant believe that grown adults who may or may not give a damn about each other consistantly use their own children as pawns in their marriage  and or relationship.  you have got to be kidding me!  I have this belief call me crazy but here goes people who should not have children should not have children.  they are children themselves and have no idea of the consequences that can occur to their own children.  I personally do not have any and that was by choice.  I have dogs and I have always said that their is no such thing as a bad dog only bad dog owners well the same can be said about parents.  who knows the emotional damage that this is causing them and that will last them into their own adulthood from these problems.  now these two so called adults need to get their act together fight it out between themselves and leave their own children alone!
My sentiments the same. You hit the nail right on the head man. Leave the kids out of this confusion. The adults can handle it whichever way they want to but let the kids be kids.
 
May 22, 2007, 11:48 pm CDT

unsure on children's place

Quote From: pinkypolly

My sentiments the same. You hit the nail right on the head man. Leave the kids out of this confusion. The adults can handle it whichever way they want to but let the kids be kids.
although i understand leaving the children out of the adult fights, i also feel like when you go through something as devistating as this you do have to go on with life. bills have to be paid, children have to go to school, etc. i believe cutting out the negative people in this situation would at least allow you to move on a little easier without being constantly reminded of the hurt that "loved ones" have put you through. in all honesty, if my sister slept with my husband and didn't care about me enough to do it. why on earth should you be a part of my children's life???? what can you offer them if your morals are that loose??  if family doesn't mean anything to you when it comes to your sister how can nieces and nephews have a stronger bond with you than their mother???
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last