Dear Savannah,
I hope at some stage this letter makes it to you. Not because I'm anyone or anything special.. but simply because i hear and feel your story.
My name is Rose and i live in the land down under. (Australia) Your story only made it to air today down here although from this web site i have found your story aired almost a year ago in the states, but i felt i had to write as while watching your story my heart broke for you. I haven't been through what you have, and you know, very few if any at all will know exactly how you feel because they simply aren't you, but we do all have our stories i guess.
can i just tell you a little about me?
My parents separated when i was 7 and my mum effortlessly handed me over to my dad when i was 10. so i knew her and yer, i do have memories of her but non are nice. there ones of violence and pure hate towards me.
i often went through stages were i hoped mum had changed and things could be OK and dad would help me find her, I'd spend a weekend or 2 with her before she'd say i wasn't welcomed back.. and this would happen on and off till i was 13. On my last visit with her ,her boyfriend sexually assaulted me while she sat in the room and laughed and would say over and over while laughing "that'll teach me".
(Police investigations stopped as mum and the boyfriend denied it and there was no semen as he didn't ejaculate in me)
Quite obviously my respect level is 0 for her now and I'm 25. I have no idea were she is, although I'm shore i could find her if i wanted too as i do have contact with limited family members of heres who have been supportive of me but Truth be told she should be looking for me and apologizing. I did see her at my pop's funeral about 3 yrs ago... and for the first time she saw her grand daughter... She didn't want anything to do with my daughter Isabella nor did she even whisper hello to me.
That's seriously enough about me... but i wanted you to know i understand the feeling of rejection from a biological mother. Again i state i can't understand exactly how you feel because I'm not you, but i can empathize on a very deep level.
I'm so glad you had it in you to confront Peggy and ask her why because you deserved an answer and you put the onus on her. Every parent who rejects a child/children can expect to be confronted and they can expect to need to be able to give some pretty heart felt reasons why they made the decisions they did.
The other thing i wanted to really say to you is how amazing i think you are for being able to try and make a relationship with Peggy work now as an adult, and not forget being left behind, but forgive Peggy for her earth shattering mistake. I wish you, your sister and your brother the absolute best of luck in working on a friendship with Peggy.
I also hope Dr Phil was able to provide the supports to help make this a successful reunion, and help Peggy take ownership for leaving you all behind, come to terms with it and really accept her responsibilities.
We don't have propel like Dr Phil in Australia who will help families work out there issues for free and provide supports around it. In aus the services are available and you have to pay big money for it, and often enough the people in those positions aren't there because they "care" but they are in it for the amount of money people in distress are prepared to pay.
When i was 12 my dad paid for a family therapist to help mum and I and my mother sat there and blamed my father for my attitude, would go on and on about how uncontrollable i was and "brain washed" by my father i was and denied anything i would bring up she had done. All i wanted and needed was answers. How Dr Phil drew a hard line on Peggy in the show was brilliant as it bought back the focus on the true issues...your scars rather then blame, the therapist my father was paying $300 an hour for to "HELP" mum and i accepted my mothers "gobbly goop" and it would go on and on with blame, never an apology, and never were the scars left on me (physical and emotional) acknowledged.... was a total waist of time and money.... So still at 25 i have never herd my mother say sorry, never has she admitted ANYTHING she has done and since i was 13 she has made no attempt to find me or acknowledge her grand daughter except when she has had the occasional bitch to family members about me, my attitude and my father.
I am so proud of you Savannah for asking the questions, accepting Dr Phil's help and putting the pieces back together. I am also proud of Peggy for Finally admitting her faults! It takes a real woman, a real MOTHER to stand up and take ownership for your actions that not only affect you but others like the sister and brother of Savannah.
Good luck building a relationship again....
All the best...
My deepest and warmest thoughts and well wishes.
Rose from Australia
(Original Air Date: 05/24/07) What if everything you thought you knew about yourself was a lie? Today’s guests are real-life unsolved mysteries. First, Savannah, 27, has never known her biological mother and has always felt incomplete. She says her mother, Peggy, vanished when she and her sister were very young, and she’s always wondered why her mom never tried to find them. Dr. Phil reunites Savannah with her mystery mother for the first time in over 20 years. Dr. Phil attempts to get to the bottom of why Peggy left her children and moved on to form another family, but Peggy says it wasn’t all her fault. Can this mother and daughter forgive, forget and start over? Next, George, 38, recently found out his family’s secret: the man he knew as his father is not his biological father. His mother was the only one with the answer to who his father was, but she died two years ago and took the truth to her grave. Now George is left wondering if there is a man out there who doesn’t even know he has a son and grandchildren. Then, when her mother passed away eight years ago, Rena, 18, learned that her birth certificate was fake, her social security number belonged to someone else, and she didn’t exist anywhere on paper. Without an identity, Rena says her life is on hold. She can’t get financial aid for college, she can’t get a driver’s license, and she can’t travel out of the country. Share your thoughts about the show here.
