You already took the first step towards recovery, and that is wonderful! Now you are finding that it is not easy to go it alone. So that means finding people who have gone through what you are going through and can help you through those rough spots, and who you can turn to before you pick up the first drink.
I have been clean and sober since june 5, 1995. Belive me when i tell you that there was no way i could have done it with out the support and guidance form people that had gone through what I was going through.
I never went to rehab either, what I did do was go to a lot of AA meetings, and conected with people who were in the same boat as me or had recovery and were willing to share how they did it.
I also had a individual in my life that was there for me 24, 7 and who never let me down, I am so thankful for that!
It was uncomfortable for me the first few times i went to meetings, that is ok, I kept going, and listening, and eventually even sharing my thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams.
Not every meeting did i agree with every one, and in same cases i didnt even like the people at the meetings lol, it didnt matter my sole reason for being there was to help myself.
Also, one is not obligated to continue going to meetings for therest of their life, some people say that it is, but it is not, it a program of recovery, if one feels they have gotten everything they want and need from the program, and do not get involved in the service aspect of it, and do not feel they have time or resourses to offer a sponsee, then by all means they do not have to go for the rest of their lives. some people do go for years and years, maybe for the rest of their lives, some stop going after they have gotten a firm grip on their addiction and go off to new and different things to enhance their lives.
The point is, check it out and see if it helpful for you, please give yourself to get over the uncomfortable time, before you make your decision lol.
Also, there are on line meetings that you can attend as well.
The point is make a connection with people who understand what you are contending with, and who are willing to help you.
I am so happy that you have come to the point were you realise you need a helping hand, and belive me there are many willing and helpful hands just waiting to be extended to you and your family. I hope that you find what you need, and can muster up the courage to grab on to the life line.
Also, speak with your family doctor, let him know of your struggle and why you want an examination, also let him know of your struggle to stay off the bottle, he may have more options for you as well.
If at possible purchase books about alcoholism, or get a libary card and take books about alcoholism from your local libary, the more you know about your illness the easier it is to understand what you are contending with. Please, do not give up on yourself or give up hope, there are millions of alcoholics who have recovered so it is possible.
Keep in touch and let us know how you are doingand what progress you have made in getting the support you need, it is important to remember your loving spouse may be just as bewildered as you are and to include your spouse in the recovery process is vital too. It is a family disease, so you are all suffering.
I pray that you and your family get what you need.
Tammy
