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Topic : Addiction Support

Number of Replies: 1935
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:56:39 am
Author : dataimport

Are you or someone else you love addicted to something unhealthy? Whether it's food, alcohol, drugs, painkillers, sex, pornography, or something else, find support here.

 

If you believe you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages. You can also find more help on our General and Mental Health Resources page.


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October 3, 2008, 11:51 am CDT

You are such a loving mom

Quote From: shellynfla

Tammy, 

 

Thanks for writing and for the prayers! I can say as of today things are good, but who know's what tomorrow will bring. My daughter is known for striking just when it seems the water's are calm. She's coming down to visit me from college for the day tomorrow and I just hope she's on her best behavior. Normally she only visits when she wants something, like money, but she know's the well is dry. I kind of feel like some pressure has been lifted now that I'm actually doing what I said I would do. However I'm not getting my hopes up that she'll accept any offer to get help, she's denied it before in a way. She went though outpatient rehab and did well for a little while until we realized she was just coasting along while making us believe in her lies. I had hopes back then that a miracle would take place and she would be herself again, but I was dreaming. She's still in serious denial and doesn't think she's "that bad". Now that she's drinking AND taking pills, she's "that bad"!! Hopefully she'll get help before it's too late but like you said, she may have to hit rock bottom first. I can only offer her the resources she needs to get better, unfortunately I can't force her to get well. I would if I could believe me! 

 

I'll keep in touch and thanks again for the advice and prayers!  Shelly

My mom was an addict as well as 90% of my family, so when i say I wish I had a mom that could see the writing on the wall and grab me by the scruff and make me read it too, well that is just a wish.

At the age of 26 years old i hit rock bottom. I guess a lot of my life circumstances had to do with it.

What I learned over the years though is rock bottom, can be a lot higher than we addicts may think, and sometimes it is the most unusual things that make us come to that turning point. However, the one thing we all usually have in common is that we come to a realization that we do not want to die.

I don't think my mom wanted to die a weeks after her fourtieth birthday, but she did, from a overdose.

For me, I also had the thought that I would quit when i turned 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, lol.

I actually did really try to quit on my own about three times, I think i made it a day, before the cravings, stress, depression, and just utter desolation, became more painful, than the black outs, the humiliation, the shame, the monsterous hang overs that laid me out for three days or more depending on how weak my body and immune system was. i will be celebrating my fourtieth Birthday this month Oct, 30, I rarley tell people how old I am you special lady you! lol =).

It is a bitter sweet celebration for me, it is the age my mother died, and when i look in the mirror, I think Good greif, she really was a young woman, I never realized how young she really was, untill now, that I am coming of age, the age she was when she died. You know when she died she looked very old, she was completley grey haired, I have a few strands of silver that I proudly look at when I look in the mirror,I always wanted silver not slate grey like my mom. So, i always thught the completly grey at fourty was a family trait, it is not, it was pills and alcohol that did that to my mom, I can count about ten strands of silver in my hair lol.

However, your daughter should not kid herself, when I was 18 i overdosed on my moms pills, that my mom gave to me and vodka, not one time, but three times in one month, it is way to easy to overdose, I know this as a fact, not some random tibit from research but from personal experience.

Your daughter really needs to know this, and if she could hear it from people that have lived through it all the better.

Depression, my  mother in her day was a manic depressant, what they now call bi polar.

She had the same psychiatrist from the age of 15, who pescribed her medication, I met him when I was 12 at my moms insistance...she wanted him to fix me. I didn't like his puffed up attitude, and i certainly did not like what he was doing to my mom, and I let him know that, that pompus ass said I was beyond his help lol. It is funny said that all through my childhood years up to the age of fourteen, i fought against drugs, and alcohol, eventhough it was pushed at me from every side, when they locked me up when i was 12, because i was unfixable I was forced to take a lot of pills to keep me under control, subdued, managable, I lost the good fight, I became exactlly what I fought against from a very very young age, I was no dummy, you learn very quickly in the enviroment i grew up in.

I ran away at the age of fourteen, and stayed that way, but was a raging drug addict, and at the age of fifteen began drinking with a vengance. I was already predisposed to addiction, so putting a pill in my moth or a drink in my hand was giving me my death sentance.

Your daughter can come through this! She really can, it is not easy, and no it is not always fun, and there is days she is going to want to quit quiting. MY days like that were usually i would drop my head into my hands and say I don't want to be an alcoholic any more, lol.

those days are long past, I am as healthy as I can be, I am happy, and i have hope that she can be too.

I really hope she can see that she is wasting precious time, and it isnt something that one can get back, I hope she can take the bitter truth, and make it into something so much better.

She is not unfixable, if I could fix myself with the help of other addicts and alcoholics, no Docs, no counselors, nothing but one drunk to another, she sure as heck can do with with a loving family and the help of those willing to help. Take the help girl, pick up the tools that will help you build a fantastic life for yourself, do it because you deserve it, you really do!

Sigh, got on a roll there i am sorry, lol, can you imagine if we were face to face? I would talk your ear off, lol, you are such a special mom, and there is nothing you did or didnt do that made your daughter pick up the first pill or drink, she made a deadly choice, and for that I am so sorry for the hell that you and she are going through because of it. I pray for you and your daughter.

you both deserve the best life has to offer, and the best is really simple, God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Serenity, courage, and wisdom, those are the best things in life hun and I feverently wish them for you and your daughter.What she needs to understand and accept is that she can't find those in a pill or a bottle. Fourtunalty for me I got an added bonus and got Love in my life, and boy oh boy, does that man love me, never knew Love felt so dang good! The hugs are the very best, i like it when he randomly gives me a big ole bear hug lol. Even if i only have two person's that loves me,  my hubby and myself, for me that is enough =).

God bless you and keep you safe and strong.

Tammy

 

 

 

 

 
October 24, 2008, 8:31 am CDT

Alcohol

Hi , my name is Alena . I had gastric bypass surgery just about 4 yrs ago . So I went from being addicted to food to pills and now alcohol . I drink until I black out . I sometimes get violent . I am scared because I don't know how to stop this pattern of addiction . I was just recently married in April and I have a very strong husband who loves and supports me 100% . He wants me to get help . I don't want to lose him . I am just in a position with two teenagers and one is way out of control . I seem to find that as an excuse to drink or my past as an excuse .more excuses are .. My step father which I adored growing up decided he couldn't walk me down the isle at my wedding , that hurt bad. My maid of honor and twin sister moved thousands of miles away and called me a week before my wedding to say she wasn't coming back I'd have to find a stand in . again that hurt .All my cards and card box at my wedding were stolen by family members .My child hood was stripped away from me at a very young age I have issues from that as well . I have seen therapists and I try not to get to depressed over that . A lot of painful things have gone on in my life which I believe I dive into the bottle to escape . Never helps because the problems are still there when I sober up. I hate that my children have to see their mother in a drunken state a lot of the time . I wanted to be different then my own mother and I am no better and I don't know where to go or what to do . I just want to stop .

 
November 9, 2008, 5:42 pm CST

alcohol, gastric bypass, and bad men have ruined me

I am a 40 year old, single white female, no children, middle class family from Hamilton Massachusetts. I had a perfect childhood, great parents. Overweight and too tall, I was constantly teased. In high school I immediately connected with alcohol, which has consumed me ever since. A battle of food and booze kept me happy but miserable at the same time.

 

I went to college but quickly dropped out due to loneliness and not fitting in.  I got a job working for my aunt in Boston at her real estate agency. I was very successful there financially, but miserable doing work I hated. In 1995 I went back to school to study art, computers, and graphic design, and began a career in that field. I was a great success. I made lots of money, got into the whole dot.com biz, made good investments. I moved to California in 1999 and got another great job, great apartment. I was on top of the world. My only problem was my weight which had reached 350 pounds, and my drinking.

 

In 2001 I had gastric bypass surgery and lost over 200 pounds. My life changed completely. Everyone started treating me different. Male friends started hitting on me; their wives stopped inviting me to parties. I could not trust anyone. I started dating online, met several nice men, but none would ask me for a second date. I thought it was because I wasn’t pretty enough. Then came Scotty, a real scumbag who swept me off me feet and told me I was beautiful. Turned out he was a criminal and only wanted me for my money and a place to stay. He got me fired from my company. I was miserable and started drinking 24/7. He beat me regularly, mentally abused me and brainwashed me. He convinced to conspire in a crime for which I was convicted of, felony counterfeiting.

 

He went to jail and I was finally released from him. However I was now completely consumed by alcohol, depression, and unable to work or even take care of myself. The sink was piled with dishes, rooms filled with clutter and unfinished projects, cat box full, booze bottles everywhere, it was disgusting and I lived that way for 3 years, agoraphobic not leaving the house. I would go out once a week to the 24/7 market to get groceries and alcohol wearing a wig and sunglasses and big baggy clothes.

 

I was sentenced to 6 months house arrest and 3 years probation. During that time I was regularly tested for drugs and alcohol. I did a pretty good job sneaking my alcohol use but eventually went off the deep end admitted myself to a 90 day rehab program. After getting out I failed after two days and entered myself in another program for 30 days then gave up my home and moved to a sober living home for about 3 months then tried to kill myself for the 2nd time, then wound up back in rehab for another 90 days, then moved back to sober living, released again got thrown out, was homeless on the streets of LA begging people to buy me alcohol, begging for a place to sleep, wandering on unknown streets filthy with a canvas bag containing all my belongings. I woke up in a strange car having no idea where I was, but I had my bag and there was a half full half gallon of vodka and a lot of pills so I took all the pills and chugged the vodka and passed out. That was the closest I came to killing myself. If I hadn’t been found I would be dead.

 

I checked myself back into rehab but then was immediately arrested for breaking probation and thrown in Federal prison where I stayed for 3 weeks. I was sentenced to a halfway house for 6 months where I sort of got my act together. I got a new apartment and settled in, but stared drinking again. Then, over a 4 month period I was hospitalized 10 times, 3 for attempted suicide.

 

Then I met Rob, over the internet. He saved me and forced me to move back with my parents in Massachusetts. That is where I am now. But, I am living a very pathetic life. I wake up at 5:00 and make Rob his lunch, see him off to work. Then I go back to sleep until noon. Then I do laundry if needed. I eat very little and watch TV until Rob comes home from work, then we go out and I get drunk and he brings me home and I pass out and that is how every single day passes. I can’t go on living this way I am miserable, completely consumed by my past, and the present, completely controlling me. I have no voice. I am weak.

 

Dr. Phil, I need your help to return myself into a functioning positive part of society. I need help. Please consider me for your show.

 

 
November 9, 2008, 5:50 pm CST

Addiction Support

Quote From: alenamarie

Hi , my name is Alena . I had gastric bypass surgery just about 4 yrs ago . So I went from being addicted to food to pills and now alcohol . I drink until I black out . I sometimes get violent . I am scared because I don't know how to stop this pattern of addiction . I was just recently married in April and I have a very strong husband who loves and supports me 100% . He wants me to get help . I don't want to lose him . I am just in a position with two teenagers and one is way out of control . I seem to find that as an excuse to drink or my past as an excuse .more excuses are .. My step father which I adored growing up decided he couldn't walk me down the isle at my wedding , that hurt bad. My maid of honor and twin sister moved thousands of miles away and called me a week before my wedding to say she wasn't coming back I'd have to find a stand in . again that hurt .All my cards and card box at my wedding were stolen by family members .My child hood was stripped away from me at a very young age I have issues from that as well . I have seen therapists and I try not to get to depressed over that . A lot of painful things have gone on in my life which I believe I dive into the bottle to escape . Never helps because the problems are still there when I sober up. I hate that my children have to see their mother in a drunken state a lot of the time . I wanted to be different then my own mother and I am no better and I don't know where to go or what to do . I just want to stop .

I had gastric bypass also. I was always a big drinker but after the bypass it became much worse into full blown alcoholism and depression. I wish every day that I could be fat and happy again instead of thin and miserable.

 

Kerry

 
November 19, 2008, 8:21 pm CST

Think my mom is getting addicted.

Recently my mom had some back surgery. She had a slipped disk that was pinching a nerve, so it was extremely painful for her. The doctors gave her some very potent pain killers, and she's been taking them for three weeks.

The medicine she has been given is extremely addictive, so she isn't supposed to take it for longer than she needs too. She's been taking both Valium and Percocet. One of them makes her extremely sleepy and euphoric, the other makes her "loopy" as we've been calling it, but my sister and I are starting to think that "loopy" is no longer a good word for it. "Addicted" is the word we're thinking of.

Of course when she first started taking it, we expected her to be a little silly, but lately that silliness has been getting worse. At first she would just kind of trail off in her sentences as the medicine took effect, get a little incoherent, then go to sleep. But now she's begun imagining things out of nowhere right in the middle of the day.

Last night for example, she thought that my boyfriend and I had gotten engaged, we haven't. She was talking about calling someone in the morning because it was too late to call now, it was 3 a.m. when she said this. Earlier today, she claimed that my dad had called and asked her to find a lid to a jar for her, when I asked my dad about it, he had no clue what I was talking about (this happened at 3 p.m.). Then just mere moments ago, she came downstairs and thought that my father was in the room, watching Tropic Thunder with me. I was watching Tropic Thunder...but my dad is at work. Then she picked up a piece of carpet that we use for my cat to scratch, and threw it away, claiming that it was hanging off the door (these scratchers are meant to hang on doorknobs) however, the one she threw away had been until today, upstairs on my floor.

Then she began talking about how my boyfriend and I leave stuff out and don't put things away after we cook. There was nothing on the counter. She pointed to the dish-strainer. I walked into the kitchen, and said all the stuff we'd used was put away. She started yelling about how she had just thrown something away that we left out. I told her she threw away the cat scratcher, she said no, and yelled that she had thrown away something else. She had not.

I said "Mom, mere seconds ago you were talking about the dish-strainer." she vehemently denied that as well. Then told me if I don't like the way things are here, I need to find another place to live. Oh! And the icing on the cake? This all happened in front of my boyfriend's friend Travis. I told her I have no idea what she's talking about, and I don't think she knows what she's talking about either. She yells, her volume getting progressively louder, that yes she does, and she' s not in the mood to listen to me argue, and that I had better "Shut up now or get out!" All while Travis is right around the corner.

She wasn't like this when she first started taking the medicines. Now she's starting to imagine that people are there in the room with her when there is no one there, and things she's handled things that also aren't there. She comes up with situations that didn't happen, and this goes on at all hours of the day now. She used to take it in the morning and at night. Sometime around the afternoon, she would be normal and coherent, and she could come downstairs and talk.

I think another aspect of the situation is about a week after the surgery, she got the flu. It's been two weeks, she doesn't have the flu anymore, but she still thinks she does. I don't know if it's a reason for her to keep taking the medicine, but my sister and I are really worried. I said I would talk to my dad, but both my sister and I aren't sure if he will even take me seriously.
 
November 23, 2008, 3:18 pm CST

In Patient Facility?

My wife's cousin (who grew up living with her, as a brother would), is an alcoholic.

He was clean for 7 years, but about a year or so ago, after losing his job (he was in the mortgage industry), he went back to drinking, and has struggled to get back on the wagon.

The big issue is this - when he stops drinking, he suffers severe withdrawal, complete with hallucinations, etc, and really requires medical supervision when detoxing and beyond.

The problem is that there are no rehabs that have medical supervision that do not cost a small fortune. He's been into some free or inexpensive programs, but once he starts "flipping out", they call an ambulance and he goes to the hospital. He's had 2 such stints in ICU over the last year while trying to detox.

Once he stabilizes, they release him, but the rehab facility will not allow him back, because they don't have the medical facilities to deal with him.

So - my question is...what alternatives does someone like this have - someone who actually wants to get help, but cannot get the help he needs?
 
November 28, 2008, 10:16 pm CST

Your mom needs to see a doctor

Quote From: redfeathers

Recently my mom had some back surgery. She had a slipped disk that was pinching a nerve, so it was extremely painful for her. The doctors gave her some very potent pain killers, and she's been taking them for three weeks.

The medicine she has been given is extremely addictive, so she isn't supposed to take it for longer than she needs too. She's been taking both Valium and Percocet. One of them makes her extremely sleepy and euphoric, the other makes her "loopy" as we've been calling it, but my sister and I are starting to think that "loopy" is no longer a good word for it. "Addicted" is the word we're thinking of.

Of course when she first started taking it, we expected her to be a little silly, but lately that silliness has been getting worse. At first she would just kind of trail off in her sentences as the medicine took effect, get a little incoherent, then go to sleep. But now she's begun imagining things out of nowhere right in the middle of the day.

Last night for example, she thought that my boyfriend and I had gotten engaged, we haven't. She was talking about calling someone in the morning because it was too late to call now, it was 3 a.m. when she said this. Earlier today, she claimed that my dad had called and asked her to find a lid to a jar for her, when I asked my dad about it, he had no clue what I was talking about (this happened at 3 p.m.). Then just mere moments ago, she came downstairs and thought that my father was in the room, watching Tropic Thunder with me. I was watching Tropic Thunder...but my dad is at work. Then she picked up a piece of carpet that we use for my cat to scratch, and threw it away, claiming that it was hanging off the door (these scratchers are meant to hang on doorknobs) however, the one she threw away had been until today, upstairs on my floor.

Then she began talking about how my boyfriend and I leave stuff out and don't put things away after we cook. There was nothing on the counter. She pointed to the dish-strainer. I walked into the kitchen, and said all the stuff we'd used was put away. She started yelling about how she had just thrown something away that we left out. I told her she threw away the cat scratcher, she said no, and yelled that she had thrown away something else. She had not.

I said "Mom, mere seconds ago you were talking about the dish-strainer." she vehemently denied that as well. Then told me if I don't like the way things are here, I need to find another place to live. Oh! And the icing on the cake? This all happened in front of my boyfriend's friend Travis. I told her I have no idea what she's talking about, and I don't think she knows what she's talking about either. She yells, her volume getting progressively louder, that yes she does, and she' s not in the mood to listen to me argue, and that I had better "Shut up now or get out!" All while Travis is right around the corner.

She wasn't like this when she first started taking the medicines. Now she's starting to imagine that people are there in the room with her when there is no one there, and things she's handled things that also aren't there. She comes up with situations that didn't happen, and this goes on at all hours of the day now. She used to take it in the morning and at night. Sometime around the afternoon, she would be normal and coherent, and she could come downstairs and talk.

I think another aspect of the situation is about a week after the surgery, she got the flu. It's been two weeks, she doesn't have the flu anymore, but she still thinks she does. I don't know if it's a reason for her to keep taking the medicine, but my sister and I are really worried. I said I would talk to my dad, but both my sister and I aren't sure if he will even take me seriously.

Hi redfeather,

 

Your letter really concerned me about what your mother is doing.

I'm not a doctor or nurse, but I think your mother may be having a reaction to the medication. 3 weeks on those 2 medications for back surgery really isn't a long time.

 

My suggestion to you is most definately tell your dad about the things she is saying and doing and make sure your mum's doctor knows about it too.

 

Good luck!

GL

 
November 29, 2008, 5:58 pm CST

Addiction Support

Quote From: coffee831

Hi redfeather,

 

Your letter really concerned me about what your mother is doing.

I'm not a doctor or nurse, but I think your mother may be having a reaction to the medication. 3 weeks on those 2 medications for back surgery really isn't a long time.

 

My suggestion to you is most definately tell your dad about the things she is saying and doing and make sure your mum's doctor knows about it too.

 

Good luck!

GL

It takes two weeks or less to develop a Percocet addiction.

Well, my mom has been taken off the pills, because her Social Worker decided that she was taking too much of it and was getting addicted. She is on something less potent now.
 
December 2, 2008, 12:51 pm CST

thanks for letting me know

Quote From: redfeathers

It takes two weeks or less to develop a Percocet addiction.

Well, my mom has been taken off the pills, because her Social Worker decided that she was taking too much of it and was getting addicted. She is on something less potent now.

Thanks redfeathers for letting me know. I was really worried about you and your mum.

 

 
December 2, 2008, 2:59 pm CST

Addiction Support

Quote From: coffee831

Thanks redfeathers for letting me know. I was really worried about you and your mum.

 

It's such a relief that she's off of it now. It made things so difficult living with her while she had it.
 
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