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Topic : Addiction Support

Number of Replies: 1935
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:56:39 am
Author : dataimport

Are you or someone else you love addicted to something unhealthy? Whether it's food, alcohol, drugs, painkillers, sex, pornography, or something else, find support here.

 

If you believe you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages. You can also find more help on our General and Mental Health Resources page.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 13, 2005, 10:55 am CDT

Addiction Support

Quote From: the_indian

First, I know we're not supposed to do this, but congrats on your upcoming one year anniversary.  That is so awesome!! 

  

On this board format -- why does this thing keep saying I'm angry.  LOL!  I'm not.  But the emote says blank and then it pops up angry.  It's quite rude...haha! 

  

Also, how did you get rid of that weird white box around your name?  Mine looks so strange. 

Never mind.  I guess it logs you out by itself. 

  

Maybe that's why I'm so angry all the time:) 

  

I look normal now, though.   

 
September 13, 2005, 1:28 pm CDT

detox

Quote From: mischif12

Hope I got that right. As a real genuine recovering addict and alcoholic I can tell you your husband is right about one thing. Opiate detox won't kill you but if you do it at home you won't be able to get out of bed for day's so you wouldn't really be able to care for your children while this is happening. Most opiate detox takes 5-7 days just to get the drugs out of your system and that's just the start. As someone who has "been there done that" I can tell you that you are "high"  when you take as many pills as you do. You may not think so but the problem is your body doesn't know what sober feels like. Believe me it won't matter to the police or the court system what you think if you get in an accident and kill someone. I have a friend who got into an accident with her kids in the car and one of her children was killed! The other was badly injured. Also the people in the other car were hurt. She served two years in jail and is on 5 years probation. She will forever have to deal with the fact that her addiction caused the death of her baby.    

   

Please don't use the excuse of having to care for your children to stay out of detox or recovery. My son was 2.5 when I did recovery and my husband worked full time while I was hospitalized. My son is now 3.5 and he has a real mother who is physically and emotionally available for him all the time.  

     

I too suffer from chronic pain in my back legs and feet. It's so bad sometimes that when I get out of bed in the am I can't walk and have to hold onto the walls just to get to the bathroom. In sobriety I found the strength to accept that pain is a sign of life and once I turned my will, my life and my pain over to the care of God as I understood him most of my pain went away. Yes getting out of bed sucks but after about an hour or so during which I stretch and walk and take a hot shower I am mostly able to function. Pain medication doesn't take your pain away it just alters your perception of it. In fact when you take pain medication it actually makes your pain worse in the long run.    

  Is there anyone you trust who could help with the kids - like your mother perhaps! I know telling them would be hard but it will be worth it in the end. I remember that when I was getting ready to tell my folks about my addiction I was soooo afraid of what they would think of me. Turns out they were very accepting! I detoxed at home with the help of friends - a Dr and nurse - and I very nearly died not from the pill detox but from the alcohol detox. I ended up in the ER of the hospital where I was a nurse so of course everybody knew after that. I even got fired from my job. Once my "covers" were pulled and I didn't have the worry about others finding out I could just settle in and concentrate on recovery. I learned to accept that what had happened was God's will and while it seemed like the end of the world at the time it was just the beginning of a whole new one. You know I even have told my nieces and nephews who are all in their teens. I did this in the spirit of being an a source of information to them if they should ever find themselves in trouble.    

     

Please consider that most addicts who want to direct they're recovery and do it their way don't succeed the first time and often have to relapse several times before they decide to do what is known to work! I am in your corner and I will be praying for you.    

     

Peace and God Bless    

     

Mischif    

Happy, grateful, and free of all mind altering substances since September 28, 2004.    

OK here is the deal i just talked with someone who deals with this stuff she told me i should not detox at home there are all sorts of things that could happen to me like have a heart attack go into shock etc....i have called some rehabs they are like a 28 day program and they cost a arm and a leg and we cant afford it......i know I'm  the one who takes these pills everyday and so on but why would my doc give me all these pills and xanax if they are so deadly I'm not going to other doctor's to get them or Er's he fills them for me every10-15days OK maybe I'm in denial about this whole thing i don't know what the heck to do anymore i did go to a meeting last night but was told not to come back till i was off them and i can understand that but what the hell am i suppose to do i live in AZ all my family is in IL and personally i don't think they would give a rats ass to come down here to help with my kids....i wish i had someone like Dr Phil to help me the way he helps is guest but i never get that lucky....i appreciate everyones feedback very much SO thanks so much I'm just lost and screwed
 
September 14, 2005, 7:16 am CDT

Alexie

If those are your kids in the picture they are very cute and I would certainly do everything in my power to get sober for them. I can't remember if it was you who had only county or state insurance which wouldn't help as most counties don't cover detox or rehab. One thing you could do is be really honest with your Dr. which I suspect you haven't. You need to go to him/her and tell him you are addicted to painkillers. You need to tell him not to prescribe anymore no matter what!  Also no benzo's which are things like xanax, Valium etc.. And no sleeping pills like ambian or lunesta.  

Then you need him to refer you to a psychiatrist who can get you on some antidepressant medication and help you get treatment. Don't laugh because I see people doing it this way all the time. A psychiatrist can often get you qualified for a county bed at least for detox under a diagnosis of Depression, or Post traumatic stress or some such thing. Once you are in the hospital they can treat you for your detox as well as depression. Believe me you are depressed and it's not like you would be lying. Second if you are taking 12-to 24 pills at day cut that amount in half so that you take 6-12 pills a day at evenly spaced intervals. I if you cut back to six take one every 2 hours including over night.  Etc until you are taking no pills at all. 

  

If your husband works - his company may have an EAP program or whatever it's called in AZ. This is a confidential assistance program for employees and their immediate family members to help offset the cost of psychiatric and substance abuse related treatment. He just needs to go to his human resources and ask if they have and Employee Assistance Program. He doesn't have to give any explanations to his employer but they will give him the numbers to call to get things in motion. 

  

Fortunately I had great insurance and my detox was fully covered - it didn't cover inpatient but it did pay for 20  weeks of out-patient care which I took full advantage of. I have many friends with families who have gone into debt to get rehab most by taking out a 2nd mortgage on their homes. All say that it was well worth it. When you say the programs you looked into cost an arm and a leg what are you talking about $20,000 - $30,000 That's what they run here. 

  

Most of all and I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the 12-step meeting you went to but don't let that stop you. Get a list of meetings and keep going to a meeting everyday. You will find that some are more accepting than others. Most will take someone's whose using as long as you have a sincere willingness to listen and get sober. However many groups will not let you share until you have a minimum of 24 hours of physical sobriety. If there's not enough NA meetings in your area then go to AA. When I was looking for meetings and I went to two a day for weeks I went into some really rough neighborhoods to get the meetings I attended. I came to understand that weather we are professionals, housewives mother's or street level addicts we are all the same - because if we continue to use we all end up in the same place - the grave. 

 you can write to me personally by e-mail - just click on my profile and you can get the address. This board is a really atrocious and slow method of communication. 

  

  

Peace and God bless 

 

mischif 

  

  

 
September 14, 2005, 2:46 pm CDT

mischif

Quote From: mischif12

If those are your kids in the picture they are very cute and I would certainly do everything in my power to get sober for them. I can't remember if it was you who had only county or state insurance which wouldn't help as most counties don't cover detox or rehab. One thing you could do is be really honest with your Dr. which I suspect you haven't. You need to go to him/her and tell him you are addicted to painkillers. You need to tell him not to prescribe anymore no matter what!  Also no benzo's which are things like xanax, Valium etc.. And no sleeping pills like ambian or lunesta.  

Then you need him to refer you to a psychiatrist who can get you on some antidepressant medication and help you get treatment. Don't laugh because I see people doing it this way all the time. A psychiatrist can often get you qualified for a county bed at least for detox under a diagnosis of Depression, or Post traumatic stress or some such thing. Once you are in the hospital they can treat you for your detox as well as depression. Believe me you are depressed and it's not like you would be lying. Second if you are taking 12-to 24 pills at day cut that amount in half so that you take 6-12 pills a day at evenly spaced intervals. I if you cut back to six take one every 2 hours including over night.  Etc until you are taking no pills at all. 

  

If your husband works - his company may have an EAP program or whatever it's called in AZ. This is a confidential assistance program for employees and their immediate family members to help offset the cost of psychiatric and substance abuse related treatment. He just needs to go to his human resources and ask if they have and Employee Assistance Program. He doesn't have to give any explanations to his employer but they will give him the numbers to call to get things in motion. 

  

Fortunately I had great insurance and my detox was fully covered - it didn't cover inpatient but it did pay for 20  weeks of out-patient care which I took full advantage of. I have many friends with families who have gone into debt to get rehab most by taking out a 2nd mortgage on their homes. All say that it was well worth it. When you say the programs you looked into cost an arm and a leg what are you talking about $20,000 - $30,000 That's what they run here. 

  

Most of all and I'm sorry you had a bad experience at the 12-step meeting you went to but don't let that stop you. Get a list of meetings and keep going to a meeting everyday. You will find that some are more accepting than others. Most will take someone's whose using as long as you have a sincere willingness to listen and get sober. However many groups will not let you share until you have a minimum of 24 hours of physical sobriety. If there's not enough NA meetings in your area then go to AA. When I was looking for meetings and I went to two a day for weeks I went into some really rough neighborhoods to get the meetings I attended. I came to understand that weather we are professionals, housewives mother's or street level addicts we are all the same - because if we continue to use we all end up in the same place - the grave. 

 you can write to me personally by e-mail - just click on my profile and you can get the address. This board is a really atrocious and slow method of communication. 

  

  

Peace and God bless 

 

mischif 

  

  

i could not find your email
 
September 14, 2005, 7:50 pm CDT

Help with stealing addiction

HI 

I am writing to see if I can have some help with my brother.  He is almost 50 and just got locked up for 12 months for stealing.. STEALING DVD's... he got time b/c he has a record. I need to get him some help.  I know that he needs to talk to someone, and he has, but I beleive that he had a relaspe right after our mother died last October.  This incident happend right after her death.  I am looking for some books, something that I can have mailed to him while he is incarcerated to help him improve his life. 

Thanks 

Patti 

 

pmcculley101@aol.com 

 

  

 
September 15, 2005, 6:34 am CDT

The best book you can send to him

Quote From: maddison03

HI 

I am writing to see if I can have some help with my brother.  He is almost 50 and just got locked up for 12 months for stealing.. STEALING DVD's... he got time b/c he has a record. I need to get him some help.  I know that he needs to talk to someone, and he has, but I beleive that he had a relaspe right after our mother died last October.  This incident happend right after her death.  I am looking for some books, something that I can have mailed to him while he is incarcerated to help him improve his life. 

Thanks 

Patti 

 

pmcculley101@aol.com 

 

  

 ..............Is the Big Book of Narcotics Anonymous - or if his drug of choice is alcohol the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then possibly a Bible. All the self help books in the world can't help and addict.  I should know I have two book shelves full. Even the Big Books are only helpful if the reader has a willingness to accept what they have to say. Addicts and Alcoholics do things (stealing DVD's) that don't make any sense to normal people. So don't even try to figure it out. There are 12 step groups in the jails and prisons and the best thing you can do for him is encourage him to attend. I would also suggest that you look into CODA or Narcanon meetings for yourself as this will help you to process your feelings about and reactions to your brother. 

  

  

Peace and God Bless 

  

Mischif 

  

Happy grateful alcoholic/addict in recovery and substance free for 350 day and nights 

 
September 15, 2005, 7:07 am CDT

Alexie

Here's my e-mail - I usually don't post it here but for you -  

  

mischif-n-mayhem@hotmail.com 

  

  

Peace and God Bless you 

  

mischif 

 
September 16, 2005, 6:04 am CDT

to ALEXIE98

I am sorry but it is really looking to me like you just want someone else to get you well. 

  

For real-  Every suggestion you get you beat down! 

      

And you,  like every other addict on the planet wants an Easier Softer way.    

  

                                          But this...... But that...........ARE you EVEN being Honest with yourself? Are you just looking for attention from Dr. Phil?  He can't save you!!   

                                                                              You have to do it!!  

  

                                                    It is not easy!  And Nobody else is going to do it for you!!  

  

                                                                           You and only You CAN do it!!! 

                                                                                                                     if You CHOOSE to do so!!   

  

                                                                                                                                       IT IS up to YOU!!! 

 I will be praying for you!!!  

 
September 16, 2005, 4:18 pm CDT

alexie

Quote From: ladylorlor

I am sorry but it is really looking to me like you just want someone else to get you well. 

  

For real-  Every suggestion you get you beat down! 

      

And you,  like every other addict on the planet wants an Easier Softer way.    

  

                                          But this...... But that...........ARE you EVEN being Honest with yourself? Are you just looking for attention from Dr. Phil?  He can't save you!!   

                                                                              You have to do it!!  

  

                                                    It is not easy!  And Nobody else is going to do it for you!!  

  

                                                                           You and only You CAN do it!!! 

                                                                                                                     if You CHOOSE to do so!!   

  

                                                                                                                                       IT IS up to YOU!!! 

 I will be praying for you!!!  

i really think you are rude nobody has treated me like you have so please dont give me feedback anymore thanks joanne
 
September 18, 2005, 8:35 am CDT

Attraction rather than promotion

  I think sometimes when trying to help a potential newcomer that we forget that the primary focus is the show the prospect how the program is working in our own lives.  My grandmother used to say that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Each person must decide for themselves if they are an alcoholic/addict and if they truely want sobriety. When sober people who represent as part of a 12 step program  show anger, hatred and pushyness they are demsonstrating how they are failing in working their own program.  When I turned my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. So many miraculous things happened. First the obsession to drink and use drugs just went away. I have not had a strong urge to drink  or use drugs in almost a year. Through working with my sponsor I became a kinder, gentler person. I learned to love my fellows without asking for anything in return. I can't tell you how many times people show up drunk at my home group. They are always welcomed and encouraged to return. The hope is that they will learn something in these rooms and decide to stay and try sobriety as a way of life. 

  

Think about this. If a prospective newcomer's only experience with 12 step program is anger, arrogance and pushyness why would they want to join. However if the people they meet are loving, kind, understanding and helpful they may stick around long enough to get the help they need. While rehab is a valuable tool it is not necessary for every addict/alcoholic who wants to quit. 

They do however need the strong and loving support of those who have stood in their shoes.  

  

That being said I too get a bit tired of the excuses and self-pity I hear from folks who say they want sobriety but won't listen to those who know how to get there.  Still I only have to look back to those desperate days before I got sober to cool my jets. 

  

This new board is too short and truncated to really show what I am talking about. I would suggest that any newcomer here go into the archive's starytat about page 74 and read forward to the end. Pay particular attention to those who came in whining with excuses and through gentle guidance got sober.  

  

If you come to believe as I have that life is a gift from God then you must accept that everything that happens in that life (good and bad) is also a gift from God.  

  

Peace and God bless you all  

  

Remember it's never too late to live happily ever after. 

  

Mischif 

 
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