Hi all I just sent this as an email to Dr Phil,
I have added a link to a website that has good links to recovery groups, I hope the link works on the message board......
Funny how things change, it wasnt that long ago you couldnt have dragged me in front of the TV with a herd of elephants, while Dr Phil was on, I didnt want to hear about denial, I was different ! poor old me. but I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have been sober almost five years now, and when recently I watched the show I thought, is this the same guy? whats changed here? Then the answer came, I,,, have changed, and my attitude has changed, I got clean and sober in the early nineties for three years, I had a pretty bad work accident and when I was put off work was overwhelmed with misery, loss of a good income, just after my seconed divorce, I wasnt getting access to my kids, my employer lied about my pay rate to the insurance company, Mum had her leg amputated while she was in her sixties(Diabetes), then she had a tripple heart bypass, I cant remember which came first, I was involved in a self help group that couldnt get enough funding to stay open, and while I was at the helm, even though we had thirty thousand signitures a year in the sign in book, the funding just wasnt there, so the doors were closed permanently, I had to turn away sick people because no one who cared could help,I wore that for a long time and it still gets me down, I couldnt handle it, so I thought I would get out of it for the night, got drunk, stoned, and fell back into the old life style DDD, Drinking, Drugging, and Denial, that fixed nothing but my dealers cash flow, for me things got worse, Dad got sick, and died, then Mum also died, I had less hope then ever of seeing my son, and I had lost the disire to stop the DDD's, POOR ME, what a sad and pathetic thing I had become, I conned a friend into renting me a country property, I came here to die, my liver was on the verge of collapse, my lungs were stuffed, I was sure I was living in hell, I didnt think I would last six months, I had lost my drivers licence again, and lost count how many times, when I first got here I had no running water except the creek, no phone, no power, no friends, no car, no public transport, nothing but time to think about what had become of my life, and it wasnt good, every drink hurt my liver, every smoke my lungs, I wanted to die, but didnt want to commit suicide, even though I was thinking about it every day, I eventually made the "decision" to give recovery one more try, I made contact with a support group, and slowly hope came back into my life, I accepted my situation, and became greatfull for the things I did have , A bed to sleep in, blankets and a roof, as remote as it is here I have grown to love the place, life has been getting better one day at a time, bit by bit I am getting the place fixed up I have water, now the phone , solar power, my licence, a new car, and best of all a new attitude, all the best steve,,
http://members.optusnet.com.au/~strathbrook this link gets to live recovery chat rooms,,, online 12 step radio,,, info for recovery,,, worth a click,,, I think so but its my site huh
