Topic : Addiction Support

ADDICTED TO MONEY I FEEL AT TIMES THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL GOOD TO FEEL THE EMPTINESS INSIDE.  NOW IT'S TURNING ON ME! Gosh I need help in a lot of areas in my life I'm such a mess!!!! I have all kinds of stuff going on with my life !!!!!

This is my first time on the board. I live a very isolated life, no mail delivery here. I have a drug addiction, created from an injury. I now realize that the medication is really masking more than the pain of my injuries. I have been hiding behind the medication. I have attempted to quit 3 times. Slowly weaning myself down. My last attempt before this time I made it to day 4. Needless to say it was the worst experience in my life. the depression and pain can not be described, as I sure many of you no. I take my hat of to all of you that have made it over that herdal. If anything is to be learned by that experience for me it is this, once I make it I'm never going back. This last attempt for me has taught me that I cannot do it on my own in my current situation, I have reached out to a clinic, and have set the ball going. I hope with their help I'll make it this time. And hopefully I'll discover what is behind my dependency. I no my isolation has not helped and that is why I'm reaching out here. I hope with your help I wont let myself fall back into old patterns.  Thankyou

  You are not alone.  I know I have been there too. Trying to quit a drug is very hard. The sideeffects are enormus. Have you thought about a treatment center ?  Some people do better in a center for the first few weeks. Not foreveryone though, i realize that.  I am a recovering drug addict for about 8 or 9 years now.  It was tough, but once you get through the worst of it, it is totally worth it. But you have to have the strong desire to want to quit.  Otherwise it won't work.   I am here to support you if you wish.    Take Care        Liz

Hi Joanne...I'm glad you're still here and you're hanging in there!  I think the most important people on this board are the ones starting that road to sobriety...you're living what some of us are preaching. 

  

Please take this in the spirit in which it is given.  But what concerns me about your situation is that I sense a lot of isolation.  I don't mean from your family or co-workers -- I mean from other addicts.  And that leads me to a question. 

  

You mentioned a 12 step meeting you went to, but you didn't indicate if it was AA/NA or some other group.   The reason I'm asking is that I find it really hard to believe that an AA or NA meeting would simply tell you to come back once you've "quit".  These groups are very clear about that....the only requirement for membership is the desire to quit.  I've been in meetings when people were high and as long as they weren't disruptive, there was no problem.   But, in any event, there's usually someone to welcome newcomers and give them advice.  It's not that I don't believe you -- I just wonder if you ran into a really bad meeting of some sort.   If this was an AA/NA meeting, is it possible for you to find another one? 

  

I say this because, while I'm very proud of my 14 years of sobriety, I give a great deal of credit to the people in AA I met early on.  It was easy for me, because I was in an inpatient program and I met them "on the unit", so we just extended our friendship after we got out.  But this fellowship was critical for me -- it wasn't enough that my other friends offered to abstain from drinking in my presence.  I needed people who knew what I was going through and I needed people who knew what my rewards would be if I persevered.  I needed a sponsor to kick my butt (in a loving and sometimes humorous way, but always firm).  You don't have this, and that is why I'd be concerned. 

  

There is no substitute for it, and that includes anti-depressants.  I've seen too many  people look for a quick fix by getting a diagnosis and yet another drug.    

  

I do think you and your BF are trying to get through this the right way by controlling pill dosage.  My fear is that, even if you succeed and manage to get drug free, you still have the addiction that needs to be treated and you still need the support of people who have been/are where you are at.   

  

Please continue to keep us posted with your progress and I really do wish you the best of luck with this. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

 Hey, Anybody I am trying to quit smoking again.  Anybody with support would help.  Last time , about 1 1/2 weeks ago, I lasted 7 days.  I am tired of spending sooo much money on them !!     Liz

i am new to this format but have been calmed and hope-filled by what i've read.  i struggle w/ alcoholism.  i particularly identified with the descriptions of being "dry" and being "in recovery".  i feel stuck in the middle...i don't drink (so i am dry) but i struggle with so much of my old behaviors and attitudes.  many days i am behaving "as if" which is a phrase that was explained to me i my most recent rehab....but i often become sad about what i've done and all the things i ruined.....i do manage to get what i need when i pay attention....for today, i am focused on the fact that "though i can't go back for a brand new start, i can start from today and have a brand new ending"....the easy days are few and far between....i am very hard on myself and must argue often with my inner voice which has decided that i am "just an alcoholic"....it is hard work to interupt that voice with a more positive affirmation....i do read "each day a new beginning" everyday....and i am becoming a more frequent journal-er....i would be grateful for other support or suggestions.  thx.  patty

Hello.....This is my first post since the changes to this site and I must agree with all of you that this is a very confusing set up! I wish you didn't have to "reply with this quote" It's confusing to read all of this. Anyway, that's my daily venting, thanx for listening!! 

  

I am addicted to Ultram. I was prescribed this for herniated discs 6 years ago. I was working in the medical fiedls as a Medical Assistant and I was even present during this presentation that the drug reps gave to the Doctors during lunch to promote their NON NARCOTIC drug, Ultram. So I wasn't at all concerned when prescribed this med. 

  

However, this med gave me a euphoria and instant good mood and it worked for the pain. After about 8 mos or so, I tried to stop taking them as I didn't feel the pain was bad enough one day for the med. I went down with what I thought was the flu. Aches, sweats, chills, runny nose, sneezing and coughing. Well of course my back hurt so I took the Ultram and bingo.....All symtoms disappeared! It was then I discovered my body was dependant on this drug. I even went to the Dr. prior to this discovery b/c I was waking up at night drenched in sweat. I thought that I had premenopause or something, but I was only 30 and all came out fine and he knew the med I was on...the doctors weren't even educated about this drug to know that Ultram was causing this. See, by the middle of the night, the med would wear off, so I would get those horrible sweats! This has been 4 years ago and today I am up to 16-25 pills a day. 

  

I am soooooooo afraid of coming off this b/c I can't imagine my life functioning without it. I can't even begin my day until I take 4 in the morning. I am horrified of the withdrawls I will have to endure. Isn't there a program where they use a anestesia to get you detoxed? You're asleep and out of it for a few days?? 

  

Mind you, I have NEVER been addicted to anything in my life!! My husband and I are both professionals and have 3 teenagers.  

  

Recently, I losta friend that was 37 who was addicted to pain meds...vicodin was the primary....she had lived this lifestyle for years and one night before my sister had to carry her home b/c she was so out of it, like everytime, she was crying and saying she was going to check into a rehab in 4 days......she was found next morning dead. My family has no idea that I have this problem and b/c of what happened to our friend, I know that they will flip if they found out and knew that I wasn't getting some type of help. I never knew this could happen to me or ever woul;d've dreamed I would be here admitting I'm an addict. Please help and Thank You for your support and listening!! 

Howdy!   

  

Before I go into one of my long rambling responses, how long have you been "sober" and are you in any kind of support group?  Support groups are essential and if you are not in one, or it isn't serving you well, that's the first thing that would help. 

  

  

  

   I am 24 years old and I need help. I don't know what is wrong with me. I drink a lot. I don't do drugs. But I like pain meds. I have been to see doctors, psychiatrists and psychologists. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, manic depression and depression. My husband seems to think I am OCD. I just know that on the inside I am really lonely. I am a stay at home mom, with 2 daughters. I have been in and out of 12 steps programs. I just can't seem to make it. Any advice would help. I have had thoughts of suicide, self mutilation, and now I am at my end. I am emotionally lost.