Topic : Addiction Support

Thanks for your help ~ I never thought I had a "good handle" on anything......LOL.  Our trip was good, was nice to get away from here for  a while.  My daughter just told me yesterday that her friend has stopped doing heroin, but is compensating with cocaine....doing more of it to make up for the lack of heroin.  Apparently, (from what I am told) she is only doing cocaine and alcohol now....has given the rest up.  I am not sure if this is true, or if she is just saying to apeese (sp?) my daughter.  Who knows.......we are still working on things with her, and she has made some progress....i.e. calling my daughter more and things along that line.  I guess I will see how far this can go, and then make a judgement call from there.....and no worries, I won't let it go on long!!!! 

Thanks again for your help, it has helped a lot.  It has been so long since I was in her shoes, I tend to forget!!!! 

Tammy 

You are very welcome you are right you do not need him or the relationship you can do a whole lot better their is always the right person still out there waiting to be found you just have to look  for him and as far as your father is concerned I am so sorry to hear about that .you know what you did your absolute best and gave it your all and in the end you learned a valueable lesson from this experience trust your instincts and your judgement  it is right and please don't beat yourself up for his mistakes  and someday your father will hit rock bottom and he will realize the most precious thing he threw away was his family  God Bless You and keep in touch 

That would worry me a bit more that you're combining the temezapam with the Xanax.  Temezapam is a benzodiazepene like Valium and is just as addictive. 

At this point, I think you need to have a conversation with your doctor!  These drugs are dangerous enough when used long term; when they're combined, it's even worse and you may be having rebound effects on top of everything else (which would cause sleeping problems). 

I don't know what other anti-depressants are available in Australia, but there are several that are routinely prescribed for panic disorder over here.  I'm sure your doctor would know which ones are available.  Prozac is an SSRI, which is a fairly common type of anti-depressant; I also had good luck with a tricyclic.   

If it was me, though, I'd demand that he help you get off of them somehow and then I'd find a doctor who isn't quite so invested in pill-pushing!   Without knowing any more details, I'm guessing a bit, but on the surface this appears to be somewhat irresponsible of him. 

First, thanks for the update!  I'm glad the trip went well. 

I do have to disagree with one thing you said, however. 

we are still working on things with her, and she has made some progress....i.e. calling my daughter more and things along that line.  

It doesn't sound like she's making much progress to me :)  The only true barometer of her progress is whether she's stopped using....calling your daughter doesn't help either one of them all that much (because it runs the risk of drawing your daugher into the circle of misery). 

However, I do believe you when you say you won't let it go on too long.  In my opinion, if it starts messing with your daughter's head, or she gets so caught up in it her other friendships suffer (not to mention school and activities) that's when your daughter is paying too high a price for caring. 

I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but do please keep us posted.  Now you've got me curious what happens :) 

I don't have an addiction but I known the pain and suffering of  having a mother who gambled everything she could on the slot machines.  She started doing this at the age of  54, boredom was the reason she got into this addiction. 

My father nor I did not know what was going on until it was too late, she would gamble from early morning til closing time, my father never questioned her whereabouts nor did he tell me that she was never home, whenever I came to visit she made sure she was there.   I was soon told by people that my mother  was gambling constantly, losing alot of money and owing as well, I confronted her and ofcourse she denied it. I took the time to track her down and observe her doing this. Epilog to my story is that I ended up selling my first house to pay off all of her debts, and my father divorced her, he could not understand that she needed help but only saw that she had managed to spend all of their savings and then some, that thaey had nothing left for retirement or for a normal life, that is why I did what I did. 

I know that my 'story' has nothing to do with yours, but I wanted to tell you how devastating and lonely this addiction can be, you at least aknowledge that you have a problem which I highly commend you for, I urge that you seek help in stopping this 'costly'; addiction which really does nothing but destroy your life and future.  As you do not mention whether you are married or not, kids, I presume that you are single, trying to stop on your own is pretty much like with any addiction, you don't do it for a few days but the thought is always floating around in your head, then when the urge becomes too strong you give in and make up for the lost days trying to convince yourself that this will be your last time, 'just to get it out of your system'................ and it continues on and on and on......... 

Get addicted to life,  we all have only one shot at it, so it might as well be you who controls your life and not a 'bad habit', find someone who will help you through this, not some jerk who will lecture you on the down side of gambling (you already are aware of that), but someone who will talk this through and actually listen, someone who will keep you accountable each day and make sure you do make progress. 

You have given up drink and drugs so that tells me that you CAN do and have the will and sense to overcome this. Don't let your whole life be a series of  changing chapters of  various addictions. 

Great that you have cut up yur credit cards but you know that will not be enough to set you free, you have to start wanting and thinking of stopping your habit and that is why I strongly suggest you get appropriate help.  Look at all the money you have just 'donated' to the machines for what? you will never gain how much yu lost and not to mention the wasted time. 

Don't give up!  Good luck! 

Welcome I'm glad I was hear to see your post and I am so glad that you found us. I know it seems that we are mostly talking about drugs and alcohol here but as you are beginning to see Addiction  

is what it is. Being a happy grateful Alcoholic and addict in recovery I understand that I can never drink again nor can use painkillers or tranquilizers even if I have a legitimate medical reason to do so.  This is going to be hard to believe and I know you have expressed an inability to attend GA so I won't push but you have taken your first step . You have admitted that you are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become unmanageable. It's a place to start. Also quit trying to do it alone. We addicts never really beat this thing but those of us who successfully keep it at bay will tell you that this is a Battle that cannot be fought alone. You need the strength to turn you will over to the care of a Higher power as you understand that power. My outpatient facilitator who is now a good friend once told me  told me that my addiction would always be waiting in the wings to pick up where it left off. It always tried to find it's way back into your head. We know those voices you speak of.  Mine are quiet now but only as long as work my program. 

Anyway welcome 

Mischif 

 So well said and how the heck are you Indian - we really should find a way to do a live chat sometime - of course you might be my next door neighbor and I just don't know it. 

I recently had an experience with a DR. That I will share . I have peen suffering for about 6 mos with Plantar Facciaitis. If any of you have had it you know what I mean when I talk about nauseating pain! 

I had seen my Dr. several times and been told that there was nothing to do but rest. Even though he knows I am an addict in recovery He has offered me Vicodin and darvocet which I refused to take. He finally told me two weeks ago that since I wouldn't take narcotics "What did I want him to do" though I liked this Dr a lot I said I was going to have to fire him! I saw a Dr. from the treatment center where I did my rehab and now work and He put me on a steroid and wallah - the pain is 95% better in just two weeks. When I finish the course of treatment I should be able to go back to the gym and get to feeling good again. 

So you see you can Dr. Shop in a good way too ;) 

Mischif 

You are giving so very good and thoughtful advice it almost sounds as if you may have started going to Al-a-non or CODA meetings. I hope you are well and able to turn some of this very good advice to your own situation.  I know you are not an addict but do you still live with one? This can be a very hopeless situation if you don't have the tools to handle it. You know when I was drinking and using I was very good at giving advice and solving other people's problems. The problem was I was doing and avoiding looking at my own problems in the process. As I said I hope you are doing well please write to me anytime. I'm not here everyday - because my work with High Risk young people is very demanding on my time but I do try to check in on a regular basis. 

God bless and Namaste 

Mischif 

Your mom sounds alot like me.  I started this when I was 50.  Yes, I'm married with grown children.  Boredom, perhaps, menopause, perhaps, I don't know.  I've asked myself thousands of times why I keep doing this.  I have asked God over and over why I keep doing this but the only thing I hear are the voices inside my head tellling me to go, that it's going to be a winning day.   

I didn't go yesterday, I'm not going today.  I can't speak for tomorrow.  Wasted time?  Time is all I have.  My husband goes to work every day and I sit here in this house unless I go to the slot machines.  I haven't hidden this from my husband, many times he's been sitting there watching me.  I can't tell you how many times I've said I had to quit and he would tell me he would work harder to make more money so I didn't have to. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming my husband.  He is a kind and gentle man and loves me more than life itself I believe. I don't think he realized exactly how deep it was getting until recently.  And I would never go without his permission so he always knew where I was.  Lately though he has been telling me no and even though I get in a huff, I won't go behind his back.   

Cutting up the credit cards was so I couldn't take any more cash withdrawals to gamble on.  You don't know how badlly I want to get rid of this monkey on my back.  I don't want to lose the house, I don't want to give the vehicles back, I don't want to ruin what's left of our good name.  But I'm afraid it's too late.  Aside from already losing $180,000 I still owe the casino $5,700 which I am trying to get paid off by using the equity in the house for a consolidation.  So far though, because I have let my credit go, it doesn't look promising so selling the house may be my only hope of salvaging the rest of it. 

Mischif, I did talk to my doctor.  She put me on ativan but she also said if my husband doesn't care about the gambling and since it's my only "vice" it's no one's business what I did with his money.  Needless to say, I am in the process of looking for a new doctor. 

I know there are folks out there in worse shape than I am.  I know I did this to myself.  I tried to blame it on God and everyone else I could think of but the truth is it's my own doing.  No one put a gun to my head and told me to gamble.  No one said gamble or else.  Just the voice in my head that I knew better than to listen to, I just couldn't seem to drown it out. 

I'm a mess.  My nerves are shot, we are floundering as best we can to catch up the bills and I am trying my hardest to let each day go by without leaving this house.  But as you can see, two nights ago I was not successful.   

I don't know if sitting here posting this helps me.  It keeps me sitting here letting me get over the urge to leave the house.   

Thank you Mischif for directing me here.  And thank you Nikki for your response.  I hope and pray your mother is over this insanity and I know God will bless you in many ways.  They say we all have angels and it's obvious you are your mother's angel in more ways than one. 

So today I pray I stay home and hope the ativan keeps the voices hushed.  

-A-