Topic : Addiction Support

  Can someone please tell me why after 18 years of noooooooooo drugs I stared to use again. I am married 20 years in August and have a beautiful son who is 7 and I care for my 83 year old handicapped Mom in our home oh and I work full-time.  I am a mess....Dont know what to do.  

In September, I will celebrate 18 years of being clean and sober.  I have been active in 12 step programs the entire time and continue to work with others because I still believe that if I don't keep doing what I have done to get and stay sober, I will be back "there" too. 

If you ever were involved in the 12-steps, then you DO know what to do...you probably don't want to have to do it.  What I do know, is that the longer you wait, the bigger mess you'll be in as a result of putting off the inevitable.  Your beautiful son deserves a sober parent.  Get to meetings!  Back to the basics for you! 

God bless! 

KR 

I don't use illegal drugs-I detest them. I don't drink much or smoke tobacco. But after a car wreck 6 months ago, I find myself having a hard time with prescribed medication. I've been off of Soma for over a week now and feel myself coming back to life but as soon as I get a headache or the stress starts, I crave it. I've probably ingested over 400 tablets in those few months. Any advice??  

  I was with my daughters dad for six years ( we were never married) he was a good guy with no history of drug use. Then slowly he started snorting cocaine and then started to free-base. In order to support his habit he started dealing, so then I had to deal with this "new" person with a bad habit and a illegal job position. It was absolutely devastating for me to watch this person I loved and shared a beautiful baby with and six years, spiral downward with a fury. It was an emotional rollercoaster and so out of control, I finally gathered the courage to leave him and HIS habit, it was not mine, and anything I could have done or not done could have prevented this from starting.  I wish I could say things got better and we are living a life of happiness with our child, but I cannot. 

  I can only say his actions can make or break you to some extent, all in what is allowable to you. Don't let his drug use define your life path. Simply make your own. Because he will no matter what, continue his with or without you, good or bad. 

My husband of nearly 10 years is an alcoholic. He drinks and drives every day. I'm scared to death he's going to hurt or kill someone and the kids and I are going to lose our home. I'm constantly depressed. I don't know what to do. He has a total of 6 DUI's in his 50 years of life. Someone please help 

I'm sorry you're going through all this, but you are making it much harder on yourself than you need to!   

For example, If you're avoiding friends and relatives because you don't want to talk to them about your son, you are letting your son's addiction define your life.    

You really need a support group like Narc Anon (or Al Anon if NA is not available).  It's not something to add to your to-do list, nor is it something else you need to worry about.  It's a gift to yourself and you deserve it!    

Not only will you be able to talk freely and openly about your anger, grief, and frustration, you will make friends in a non-threatening and non-judgmental atmosphere.  And then you'll build a social network where you can get together for dinners or whatever.  It's very important that you find a way to do this.    

You will also learn how to love your son, but not support his bad choices right now.    

And finally, most important of all, you'll come to understand your powerlessness over his actions and his disease.  It's a simple concept, but that doesn't mean it's easy to integrate into your mindset.  And you won't find peace until you do.  

Please don't take this the wrong way, but uou need to step up to the plate for your kids and set some boundaries fast.    

I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and have been through rehab myself.  I promise you that every day you expose your kids to this behavior, they get just a little bit sicker.  My own struggle with alcoholism was nothing compared to dealing with the issues left over from alcoholic parents.  Your kids deserve better. 

You need to get to an Al Anon meeting.  You'll learn more about setting the boundaries, and how not to continue enabling him.    

You might also consider calling the cops when you know he's on the road drunk.  It won't solve the underlying problem, but it might save a life.  Also, I'd point out that with 6 DUI's, he's a menace and has no business driving. 

Finally, I'd see an attorney.  Your husband might wake up tomorrow and make a commitment to getting sober (highly doubtful) or he might be like this for another 20 years.  You do not want to allow yourself (or your kids) to be so beholden to his disease.