Topic : Addiction Support

I am so glad that you are drug and alcohol free!  I congratulate you because I know it had to be a very difficult thing for you to do and to continue doing.  I really hope my daughter realizes that what she is doing is so self destructive and could eventually kill her.  I saw her tonight, her court case was postponed because she finally decided to get a lawyer...yesterday!  She finally seems a little remorseful but one never knows because she lies so much you just never know what is true and what isn't.  I have a broken heart but broken hearts can be mended.  I want her to get better before these illnesses get the better of her.

My daughter has been stripping for a year or two.  Believe it or not, several people around me knew.  Grown adults.  These people shared it with others but not with me!  Maybe if someone had said something then, she wouldn't be where she is now!  Can I ask you how you got started stripping and why your started stripping?  I just can't imagine!  I know once you start, it's usually just to put some money in your pocket and then you think your going to quit.  Then you realize you can't do without the bigger bucks and don't want to settle for a regular job with regular pay.  I guess drugs start as a means of  trying to get through what your  doing?  It's just a guess.  I want to understand.  Want to understand how and why.  I don't judge her, I feel sorry for her because she has such low self esteem that she thinks this is all she can do.   And then I get angry too.  Do you understand my feelings?  How did your parents deal with all of this and how are they with you now?  How did you stop?  What steps did you take?  Is there anything I can do to help her?  Any suggestions you can make that might help me.  Is tough love what I should be doing.  Should I stay out of her business and watch from afar?  To be sure she's safe without pushing my feelings or opinions on her?  I would love to hear what you think.  Thank you so much for responding.  It took a couple of days and I was feeling bad.  Like I was whining and nobody likes to hear someone whine.  I do appreciate your input!  It made me have some hope! 

Hi There,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for about a year now and we have had our rough patches but only lately. When we first started dating i knew that he smoked pot a little bit and so did i, but for the past month and a half he has been doing it almost every day. He even took a sick leave from work for 3 weeks saying that his stomach was sore. But he seems perfectly fine to me. All he has been doing on this leave is smoking weed, eating junk and watching hours and hours of t.v. I don't know what to do, he is seriously addicted to weed and it is really hard because he has such bad mood swings. One day he will be his old self and the next someone completely different. It is really hard to deal with. My sister is getting married this weekend in B.C and we were both suppose to go down there but he doesn't seem to even want to leave his house. Please help!

Thanks :)

I'm not even sure of where to start.  Our son is a crack & pot addict for several years now.  He's been in and out of rehabs.  We have had both our father's pass away in the past couple of years and just recently my husband's mother.  At that time our son had robbed our home while were out of state for the mother in laws funeral.  He  was caught and admitted to the crime.  He spent a month in the county jail and has since been released on bond till the court sentencing.  Along with everything else, we have found that situations have surfaced.  Seems as though he was abused by a family member, (a year older than he.).  And that he had also took advantage of his younger sister for  many years.  I never knew, I never had any idea.  Never in my wildest nitemare would have I thought this was happening.  His sister has pretty much come to grips with it and has put it in the "chapters never to be reopened" section of her life. 

Me, I'm not so fornuate.  Some days I'm ok and others like today, just can't get it together.  Good thing I have the day off from work.

I know it is greif, from the loss of my dad and inlaws, but also the loss of my memories of my children's childhood. 

I know it  anger.  Frustration........Embarassment................Worried............and so many more emotions.

How could I not have seen this?  How do I get over this?  I can't talk to our daughter, she's "not opening that chapter" and not taking the chance of her children finding out, her  husband has been there for her.  God Bless him.  Can't find out from our son, he's moved out...........finally.  They are both over 25.

My husband is finally showing more support but he's still not accepting the addiction is a disease idea.  I don't have family to fall back onto, my mom is not of good health, my sister is so caught into the Church she can't see past reality and my brother, well  he is pretty much addicted to beer.

We live in a small community and counseling agency is already dealing with our son.  I can't really afford the copays and such right now or the chance of it coming out.  I couldn't protect our daughter years ago, but I am going to do all I can to protect her now.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I am trully open to them.

Thank You & God Bless!

About two weeks ago I left my High School Sweetheart after 8 years of living together because of alcohol. I have been living with this for that long. In the beginning I was just thinking that it was really nothing until he started yelling at my kids (from another marriage) and blaming them for everything. Granted, they are not angels, but I know they didn't do half the stuff he was saying. He would get drunk starting on Thursday night and would be the worst on Saturday. He would get drunk and then get high and then walk around the house embarrassing us and my kids.  I would find him sometimes sitting in his own urine because he was passed out somewhere. 

  I dealt with this with my sister growing up and i know that it will get progressively worse. The final straw was when I came home from work one night and he was already drunk and started yelling at me about my kids doing something to his computer game. He has a son who lives with his mother (thank god) and when his son is with us he never pays attention to him . We never do anything as a family and he never says anything good about my son. My daughter doesn't want anything to do with him and say she will never go back there.

I know he has an addiction to alcohol and in the beginning I tried to be supportive by calling him but tonight he just turned it all around on me. He said he has stopped drinking and hasn't drank since I left but he will drink once in awhile.   Last week he was all upset and sad I was leaving and that he would do anything for me, now Im thinking he is having withdrawls and needs any excuse to drink. I left saying, "Thats it, Ive had enough"

I love him alot but I cant sacrafice my happiness or my kids for that!  Any advice would be appreciated. I have found an apartment and will be moving in October in the mean time (get this) Im living with my ex husband and his girlfriend (she invited me, what a lady.)

Im really sad and would accept any words of encouragement.

Sincerely

wen

I'm a 38 year old Wife, student and addict.... with an overwelming 10-year addiction to pain-killers. I'm here to tell you my story and offer some hope. I completeley understand. Once you are addicted to a narcotic substance you're mind justifies using other substances when you are out of your drug of choice (i.e., meth, cocaine). "Been there, done that...bought the tee-shirt"). Last week things came to a head and I colapsed and stopped breathing from taking too much oxicontin, (tolerence level was too high). Anyways, I was rushed to the hospital and then detoxed off of pain killers for one week.  It was the hospital that referred me to the wonderful I'm involved in now.  The program is called "Share"; a one-year intensive outpatient program run by my local hospital in Ft. Lauderdale. I had no idea this program exsisted. I would recommend contacting your local hospital and explaining your situation, it's quite possible that they could help and work with your health insurnace, so you don't go into the poor house trying to get treatment. 

There is always Narcotics Annonymous meetings in your area which are always free.  I feel for you. I completeley understand how hard it is to kick this terrible habit. Everytime I tried on my own to stop, I would become severley depressed and lathargic and go right back to the pain medication just to feel better. This time, I was scared straight and have been off of pain med's for 2-weeks. It does get better!  Thank God I have an intelligent, loving and extremeley supportive Husband on my side. You need an excellent support system, a therapist and group meetings with other addicts to get over this. I wish you all the best.  Good luck! :)

See my reply to your reply to me......

I started cutting and burning when I was 14 after my father made me stand in the middle of the livingroom and verbally sliced me to ribbons.  I went to my bedroom, lit a cigarette (I started smoking when I was 13) and burned my arm because I deserved the punishment.  I was a rotten kid.

Can you go into more detail about your reasons for cutting??  I don't know how much they'll allow here, but even if I can't help otherwise, I can certainly "listen". 

BTW, my oldest son is 17.  Just an unrelated factoid....

Valoren