Message Boards

Topic : Addiction Support

Number of Replies: 1936
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:56:39 am
Author : dataimport

Are you or someone else you love addicted to something unhealthy? Whether it's food, alcohol, drugs, painkillers, sex, pornography, or something else, find support here.

 

If you believe you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages. You can also find more help on our General and Mental Health Resources page.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
sad
September 20, 2006, 4:46 pm PDT

Breath, then pick up your phone and dial

Quote From: coffee831

 I get manicures and peducures and even botox, restylene and hair extension. I am high maintenance in most eyes. 

 

Only you can choose!

 

A phone call to find out about possible payments is stopping you? I don't want to call and ask this question, it sounds really stupid.

 

This is absolutely controlling my life. (so it is controlling your son's life too!)

 

 

My son is 7 and we are very close.  I am all that he has and he is all that I have.

 

When the reason is strong enough you'll pick up the phone or figure out a way to put aside the money. The things you claim are high maintenance are very expensive. Bet it wouldn't take long to get the money together?

 

Coffee  :)

I am sad for you because you feel that your looks are more usefull than your health?? What are you setting for your child for god sakes?? This is your life and you need to take control of it. Do you want to live to see your son have a first date or a kiss or marry?? What about grandchildren? You will be dead if you dont get control of your life.

Just my two cents.

 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
sad
September 20, 2006, 4:56 pm PDT

Self Asteem?

Quote From: coffee831

keep going to al-anon for support. Perhaps there is a message your not hearing?

 

As scary as it may be, perhaps you should consider life beyond your husband. It is frustrating, it's lonely, but.....are you not already feeling alone?

 

Is your husband making an effort to stop drinking? Have you tried any counselling with him?

 

At some point, only you can make the decision for yourself and your children what life will look like in the future.

 

One of the sadest but most telling was watching a young man whose mother stayed with an alcoholic for as many years as you. He has no relationship with her and doesn't really want one. He resents all the years she spent with her husband and all the sadness this young man witnessed.

 

Your thinking of the future and that's good. Take the time to really see the possibilities. What if he doesn't stop drinking and it's now ten years later? You'll still be wishing, more pain suffered and perhaps in the process damage the relationship you have with your children beyond repair?

 

I hope to god not......but..... I see the pain in this young man's eyes and it breaks my heart!

 

Sometimes the best medicine is to mourn the loss of what we hoped for and move ourselves to a better life!

 

I pray you find the answers and strength you need!

Coffee  :)

Let me first say that I truly feel for you.

Now I want to scream... What are you doing with a guy that doesn't give a hoot about you??? Don't you realize that you ARE alone? You are wasting your life in hopes that he will come around and this is HIS problem NOT yours.

Move on honey.

 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
sad
September 20, 2006, 5:08 pm PDT

Remember-me group

Quote From: wishon

My sister is going though some kind of substance addiction.  I was raised by two great parents and I never even tried drugs and I will never understand how she found this path.  She racked up thousands of dollars on their credit card before they found out and canceled it.  She calls whenever she has a Migraine and needs medicine, or can't pay for things.  She told them she needed help recently and then while they were out of the house she came by with a letter she had written saying all kinds of cruel things and that they were no longer parents to her. She demanded money and threatened to sue them if they didn't give it to her.  She owes them almost 15, 000 dollars on items she has charged with access to their credit and through identity theft.  They are blindsided and hurt.  Every time they try to confront her she rages and leaves or hangs up on them.  She hangs up on me every time we speak and tonight told me she "had nothing to say to me" before hanging up.  If you keep giveing him money he is going to use it for drugs just like my sister would.  I know it hurts and I feel like I am helpless to get my sister through this because I believe the substance abuse is to drown out psychological damage from extreme abuse she suffered in a violent relationship.  All I can tell you is I think my family is at the foot of a very high mountain we'll have to climb before she gets "better".  If we keep staying involved in her life she is going to hurt us every step of the way.  At what point do you let go?  she live out of the house with a scab of a human being roomate who I know has helped her access drugs.  I hate this is happening to my family, it is surreal.  Hang in there and protect yourself.  He needs an ultimatum to seek treatment or to be arrested if you can prove he uses drugs and if he turns down help you have to be able to let him go. 

For the mom, go to this website and just take a look at the e-mails from us mom's who have lost our kids to addiction. I hope you never have to join us.

And to the sister, be there for her no matter what. My Matthew lost his only sibling Jimmy they were 2-yrs apart and Matthew will never be the same. He is only 25 and he has the eyes of a 40 yr old with so much greif.

No matter what, be there for them because this is a desease and the only cure is help and lots of love.

M

 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
chillin'
September 20, 2006, 8:32 pm PDT

camay

Quote From: camay6

I Tvo the Dr. Phil show everyday and saw the story about Florida Detox. I watched the  story and it could have been my own.  I am too a single mother with and addiction problem to pain killers. .  As I watched, I am going through everything she went through.  Taking pills before I even get out of bed, watching for the UPS man and thinking all of the time, how many pills do I have left and when are my refills due from the many places that I get them from, will I be able to shower today etc.  You would never know by looking at me that I have this problem.  I am involved in my sons schoold, I go to field trips,  I get manicures and peducures and even botox, restylene and hair extension. I am high maintenance in most eyes.    THEN, Florida Detox came up and sounded like the answer to my prayers.  I have checked into many rehab facilities but most are extended stay which I cannot do..  My parents are both dead and I have 3 siblings (only 1 that I am close to, who lives in MN and has her husband and children., the other 2 are addicts that don't live productive lives, one is  twin borther. that has been an addict for over 20 years. ).  FLORIDA DETOX WAS MY ANSWER Not only did it sound wonderful but when checking where it was, I live only 3 miles away.  THIS WAS THE ANSWER.  I COULD NOT BELEIVE THEY ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY BACKYARD.  I thought wow. I am calling them first thing in the morning.  I went to bed the first time in 5 years happy and excited.  Then, the shoe dropped.  They don't take insurance and it costs 15,000.00.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.   Everyone makes it sound like it is so easy to just go and get help,  IT IS NOT.   So here I am still>>>>>I have tried to stop taking them but become so ill, I just can't do it as much as I truely want to, I can't bear the pain.  I cannot even last 1 day.  This is absolutely controlling my life.  Anyone have any suggestions on how to do this alone??????  I beleive that twins have a special bond and wonder sometimes... will I be addicted to these as long as he is an addict.  We have had so many things happen to us that are similar,  I broke my foot and he broke is arm on the same day and we had car accidents on the same day.  Mine was minor but his was serious, he was in a coma for 5 days.  We now call when something of this type happens to warn the other to be careful.  DOES ANYONE KNOW IF FLORIDA DETOX WILL DO PAYMENT PLANS?  I figure, the amount that I spend every month on the pills, I could easily pay this money to them.  I don't want to call and ask this question, it sounds really stupid.  I posted this message one other time but have not heard from anyone.  I am getting more desperate by the day.  If it weren't for my son, I am not sure if I would still be here to write this.  It sacres me that there may come a day that I may not be here for him.  My son is 7 and we are very close.  I am all that he has and he is all that I have.  His father has never been in his life and we don't see family except every couple of years or so.  I never dreamed that I would ever feel so alone., sad, desperate and so very afraid. 

Hi.  I think it's really good that you're admitting you have a problem and that you then made that first call for help.   A lot of people never get that far.

 

But I'm also guessing you saw Florida Detox as some kind of quick fix - in and out in a few days.  It doesn't work that way.  And you can't do this alone, either.  

 

It sounds like you do have some financial resources.  What you need to do is start googling your county and/or city and talk to their substance abuse people.  Find out what type of help is out there.  At a minimum, you'll need a detox but I can promise you it isn't painful nor uncomfortable if it's medically supervised.  Ideally you'd qualify for a 28 day inpatient program, where you'll develop a support group for when you get out.

 

There's a lot of help and support out there, and all of us felt like you do before we found the help.  But don't look for easy ways out or shortcuts - this will not be cured in a weekend.

 

PS - Also, I really wouldn't recommend trying to detox on your own.  It almost never works and you just end up unnecessarily putting yourself through hell. 

 

 

 
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
September 20, 2006, 8:39 pm PDT

oneinamillion

Quote From: oneinamillion

I am a functioning drunk.  I can go without drinking when I need to.  Why though does it consune my thoughts during the day. I fight with myself to drink or not.  I make bargains with myself, etc.  I have done AA.  Great when it was far away so no one knows my problem.   (chapter disbanded)  Always worried I might know someone. ( makes me weak.) Too many of my friends/neighbors/etc. are drinkers.  If I could do this in privacy, I would feel more comfortable.  Need some help.  Drinking is a negative in my life, just don't know how to work on it myself.

Everything you described in that post points to being an alcoholic.  For example, the thoughts you have all day long are called preoccupation and it's actually a symptom of the disease.  These thoughts are probably brought on by withdrawal.  Making bargains is also very common.

 

I also understand your desire for "privacy".  But I had to get over that. 

 

I don't mean to be a downer, but unfortunately this will continue until you reach a point where you wake up one day and realize you can't fight it anymore.  With me, it was a minor medical emergency, but with many others it can take years. 

 

If you're getting to the point where you feel you need help....you do!  And you can find it if you make it a priority.  But until you're really ready to accept it, there's not much you can do.  I definitely think you should continue with AA, however.   IF the group disbanded, find another one.  One of the biggest myths we have when we're in the grip of alcohol is that we can still control parts of it.  We can't - we just don't see it  yet.

 
User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
blank
September 20, 2006, 10:47 pm PDT

Hi Coffee

Quote From: camay6

I Tvo the Dr. Phil show everyday and saw the story about Florida Detox. I watched the  story and it could have been my own.  I am too a single mother with and addiction problem to pain killers. .  As I watched, I am going through everything she went through.  Taking pills before I even get out of bed, watching for the UPS man and thinking all of the time, how many pills do I have left and when are my refills due from the many places that I get them from, will I be able to shower today etc.  You would never know by looking at me that I have this problem.  I am involved in my sons schoold, I go to field trips,  I get manicures and peducures and even botox, restylene and hair extension. I am high maintenance in most eyes.    THEN, Florida Detox came up and sounded like the answer to my prayers.  I have checked into many rehab facilities but most are extended stay which I cannot do..  My parents are both dead and I have 3 siblings (only 1 that I am close to, who lives in MN and has her husband and children., the other 2 are addicts that don't live productive lives, one is  twin borther. that has been an addict for over 20 years. ).  FLORIDA DETOX WAS MY ANSWER Not only did it sound wonderful but when checking where it was, I live only 3 miles away.  THIS WAS THE ANSWER.  I COULD NOT BELEIVE THEY ARE PRACTICALLY IN MY BACKYARD.  I thought wow. I am calling them first thing in the morning.  I went to bed the first time in 5 years happy and excited.  Then, the shoe dropped.  They don't take insurance and it costs 15,000.00.  I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.   Everyone makes it sound like it is so easy to just go and get help,  IT IS NOT.   So here I am still>>>>>I have tried to stop taking them but become so ill, I just can't do it as much as I truely want to, I can't bear the pain.  I cannot even last 1 day.  This is absolutely controlling my life.  Anyone have any suggestions on how to do this alone??????  I beleive that twins have a special bond and wonder sometimes... will I be addicted to these as long as he is an addict.  We have had so many things happen to us that are similar,  I broke my foot and he broke is arm on the same day and we had car accidents on the same day.  Mine was minor but his was serious, he was in a coma for 5 days.  We now call when something of this type happens to warn the other to be careful.  DOES ANYONE KNOW IF FLORIDA DETOX WILL DO PAYMENT PLANS?  I figure, the amount that I spend every month on the pills, I could easily pay this money to them.  I don't want to call and ask this question, it sounds really stupid.  I posted this message one other time but have not heard from anyone.  I am getting more desperate by the day.  If it weren't for my son, I am not sure if I would still be here to write this.  It sacres me that there may come a day that I may not be here for him.  My son is 7 and we are very close.  I am all that he has and he is all that I have.  His father has never been in his life and we don't see family except every couple of years or so.  I never dreamed that I would ever feel so alone., sad, desperate and so very afraid. 

To answer your questions, I did make the phone call and I did feel a little stupid asking about making payment when I knew what the answer would be.  The money I spend on the hair and other high maintenance things are actually minimal.  I have a friend that owns a salon and she does my hair at cost, it cost approx 250.00 every 3-4 months, and the botox and other items are done by my friend that works for a dermatologist.  This is also done every 4-5 months and is about 200.00.  So to answer your question , yes 15,000.00 is quite a bit to come up with when you are a single parent and now having my twin brother living with me and I am trying to help him get on his feet.  I have gotten him a job and am driving him back and forth which is 45 minuts away.  I sell Hurricane Protection and make decent money on commission but only in the busy times of the year.  It is getting really slow now and appointment are getting hard to come by.  It will pick up again in March/April.  I was hoping that if Florida Detox did take payments, I would be saving what I am paying for the medications and put it toward getting my life back.  Thanks for listening and I hope all is well with you and your family.
 
User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote
blank
September 21, 2006, 5:33 am PDT

Camay6-TRUST ME,FEEL LUCKY AND BLESSED

THAT THAT IS ALL YOU ARE ADDICTED TOO. I WOULD GIVE MY RIGHT ARM AWAY IF THAT WAS ALL I WAS ADDICTED TO..I AM TOTALLY IN agreement with you how everyone makes it sound so easy to do. Tonight, for example, i have been on so many sites about TREATMENT for substance abuse. It is like a GIANT MIND F**k. I have spent the last 6 hours looking for something that COULD possibly end my problem that i have lived with for the last 13 yrs. I have wrote Dr.Phil 3 times now, also Oprah, Montel Williams (take that back, Montel at least acknowledged my email and said they may contact me at a later date, and when i wrote Oprah, i was writing her just to get some help in my home because both my hands have been through surgery and i could not do anything and work comp denied me everything) and no one has responded to my BEGGING FOR HELP. It took me 2 yrs to get the nerve  up to write and even ASK for help,for i am ashamed, have zero self esteem, self respect. And as the days turn to months and months to years, it really seems as if I will end up EXISTING to die. That is how i feel. My roadblock is that i am currently on work-comp and i have been for the last 3 yrs.it appears as if no one wants to touch or have anything to do with you when you have that going on. I cannot appear on national TV until my case is settled.For if i do, i risk losing my pension,retirement for a company i worked for for 28 yrs. A company that has abused me like you cannot even imagine. The last nice thing they did was to cut my medical insurance off completely and that was last June of 05. However they allow me to keep my dental(which they pay less than 40%) and my Prescriptions..How convenient for them. keep me nice and out of it so that i will eventually die young and they will get to keep my retirement and my settlement. All i wanted from any of these celebrities  was some HELP. When i saw the shows this week on Dr.Phil's new season, it really upset me because here I am BEGGING for someone to help me, i do not have the money, nor do i have the correct resources at my disposal as Dr.Phil does. Like tonight, i am not going to go through what i went through tonight again. Round and round i go, where i stop nobody knows or cares. He has a show with the new Dr.Phil House which i really think is great. like he says a great tool, but his guests, i was getting disgusted watching the both of them. They are both lying through their teeth. Playing mind games, something i just detest. In my opinion, wasting his time, if not for those kids, i would say dump them like right now.Then the cart rage lady in the supermarket, then the lady who says she homemakes all her food but she homemakes boxed items, then the couple today, the revenge of the X's. The young gal and the older guy, geesz, she already got her revenge, she broke in his house , hit him on several occasions and he PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK, there is something wrong when a man of 36 years old has to pick up on a 17 and 1/2 yr old girl.right on the borderline of having sex with a minor if you ask me. My point is that these cases or guests all were laughing like they even knew how stupid it sounded but he gave them his precious time and help. People like yourself and I desperately NEED HELP, we have an addiction, behind the addiction is many reasons or events that brought you to where you are at now, at least with me it is. Many traumatic events in my life, not been easy by any means. I am 51 yrs old, i live alone, no part time significant other no permanent significant other. I am 1 yr younger than Dr Phil's wife and i look 20 yrs older. I know if i do not get help within the year, I will probably be dead in 5 years maximum. My father passed on my birthday in the year 2000 and my mother put a gun to her head in March of 2004. I, because i am single was the lucky one to go through this horrible nightmare because my other siblings all have families and live out of state. My mother , i have such horrible feelings of hatred, resentment, guilt, anger towards her for what she did and that is a smoldering rage that continues to grow daily. Believe me, I do not like feeling these feelings one bit, i hate it i hate me. By the way, the Florida Detox is where i wanted to go too, by any chance did you ask them if they have a payment assistance program?  I would go in a heartbeat if I was given the chance. I also live in California. You say it is very close to you. You should go speak with someone in admissions , they have to keep your information confidential. There is a good possibility that you could do a payment assistance program. No harm and it won't hurt to ask. Good luck to you. I hope you are able to go...
 
User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
blank
September 21, 2006, 8:10 pm PDT

Problem

Quote From: the_indian

Hi.  I think it's really good that you're admitting you have a problem and that you then made that first call for help.   A lot of people never get that far.

 

But I'm also guessing you saw Florida Detox as some kind of quick fix - in and out in a few days.  It doesn't work that way.  And you can't do this alone, either.  

 

It sounds like you do have some financial resources.  What you need to do is start googling your county and/or city and talk to their substance abuse people.  Find out what type of help is out there.  At a minimum, you'll need a detox but I can promise you it isn't painful nor uncomfortable if it's medically supervised.  Ideally you'd qualify for a 28 day inpatient program, where you'll develop a support group for when you get out.

 

There's a lot of help and support out there, and all of us felt like you do before we found the help.  But don't look for easy ways out or shortcuts - this will not be cured in a weekend.

 

PS - Also, I really wouldn't recommend trying to detox on your own.  It almost never works and you just end up unnecessarily putting yourself through hell. 

 

 

Hello,  I have tried detoxing on my own and can't make it a day because of the severe sickness.  I have a 7 year old son and am a single parent without family and don't have many friends, none of which know about this or am I close enough to to even discuss.  I have only lived in FL for a couple of years.  The inpatient as I stated in my post, is not an option.  I work and don't have anyone that can t ake care of my son.  I have called many resources in FL but most are inpatient, and the others just dont' seem to be very good.  They give you nerve pills and have you watch movies and sent you home.  I realize that FL: Detox is not a quick fix.  But, it does get the stuff out of your system for the most part. I understand one may still have some withdrawl but when reading the testimonials on their site, it is not nearly as severe as doing it alone.  I am ready to completely end this death sentence and realize that after detox I would need to seek couseling and support groups to get to the root of the problem.  But.....FL Detox really did seem like the answer for me.  If I could get through the detox, I have full faith that this could actually end.  I am so desperate for this to end.   I don't have financial resources after the amount I am paying on a monthly basis for this medication.  I  would have approx 600.00 a month and sometime more to pay monthly, but this is not an option with FL Detox.  I am however going to call them again tomorrow and see if I can do a claim on my insurance after the fact and give them whatever they will cover (if any) and pay the remaining in monthly installments.  How did you end your addiction and what was it to???
 
User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote
hopeful
September 22, 2006, 6:30 am PDT

You can detox comfortably at home but.........

Quote From: camay6

Hello,  I have tried detoxing on my own and can't make it a day because of the severe sickness.  I have a 7 year old son and am a single parent without family and don't have many friends, none of which know about this or am I close enough to to even discuss.  I have only lived in FL for a couple of years.  The inpatient as I stated in my post, is not an option.  I work and don't have anyone that can t ake care of my son.  I have called many resources in FL but most are inpatient, and the others just dont' seem to be very good.  They give you nerve pills and have you watch movies and sent you home.  I realize that FL: Detox is not a quick fix.  But, it does get the stuff out of your system for the most part. I understand one may still have some withdrawl but when reading the testimonials on their site, it is not nearly as severe as doing it alone.  I am ready to completely end this death sentence and realize that after detox I would need to seek couseling and support groups to get to the root of the problem.  But.....FL Detox really did seem like the answer for me.  If I could get through the detox, I have full faith that this could actually end.  I am so desperate for this to end.   I don't have financial resources after the amount I am paying on a monthly basis for this medication.  I  would have approx 600.00 a month and sometime more to pay monthly, but this is not an option with FL Detox.  I am however going to call them again tomorrow and see if I can do a claim on my insurance after the fact and give them whatever they will cover (if any) and pay the remaining in monthly installments.  How did you end your addiction and what was it to???

I'm not recommending it but you can detox at home. To do so you must be willing to be brutally honest with yourself and your Primary Care doctor. You have to be willing to go in and say you are an addict and state what, how much and how often you are using and you must be willing in the long run to give up ALL MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCES. The first step is to find a clinician who is willing to do a walking detox. They will give you something like Librium or suboxone which you will take on a schedule that gradually decreases. Many doctors wont due thins because of the liability and the high suicide risk for people detoxing at home.

 

I" realize that FL: Detox is not a quick fix.  But, it does get the stuff out of your system for the most part. I understand one may still have some withdrawal but when reading the testimonials on their site, it is not nearly as severe as doing it alone." 

 

I picked this quote out from your last post because it is very telling about how must addicts who are not yet ready feel about detox and recovery. Many believe that if they could just get through detox they would be fine. In recovery FINE is a acronym for F------up, irrational, neurotic and emotional. once detoxed and addict like you or me needs treatment for their disease. This should include inpatient or intensive out-patient programs and AA-NA attendance and work with a sponsor. This process helps you learn how to live with relying on substances for "Ease and Comfort".

 

As far as payment goes most insurance will cover detox if you are symptomatic when you present to the hospital. Stop taking your pills and wait until the aches and shake start then get to the facility. @nd while most insurance does not cover inpatient rehab (especially if this is your first time trying) They will cover intensive outpatient which in most setting is three to five evenings a week for 4-8 weeks. That's what I did. I had a 30 year history of daily use of alcohol, prescription and non-prescription drugs. I overdosed at home on September 2004 and my husband took me to an emergency room at the hospital where I worked as a nurse. All my covers were pulled in a day - Through the miracle of AA and God's grace I am sober 1 year and 51 weeks today. God willing by this time next week I'll have two years Clean and Sober.

 

My life today is better than I ever thought possible. My worst day sober is 100% better than best day drinking or using. Don't wait till you get to the yets. Like losing your home, your child, or your life and leaving you baby parent-less with the memory of how his mother died. The longer this pattern continues the more likely the yets will be. Also children who grow up with addicts and alcoholic parents who are actively in their disease have an 89% probability of becoming addicts themselves. Is this the legacy you want for you for your son.

 

Peace and Master

Mischief

 

 

 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
September 23, 2006, 12:34 pm PDT

Confusued??????????

IF the group disbanded, find another one.  One of the biggest myths we have when we're in the grip of alcohol is that we can still control parts of it.  We can't - we just don't see it  yet.

 

Hey.....I don't understand what you mean by this? Thank you so much for writing back. It means so much. I'm not just saying that. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 
First | Prev | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | Next | Last