Topic : Addiction Support

If she is serious about getting clean and working on recovering from her addiction, she can start by going to NA, which does not cost anything but time.

There she should be able to find someone who will help her go through the process of getting through her addiction, and will be able to help her find resources in your area.

If NA is the only option for her at this time, then she is going to have to take it if she is serious about recovery.

She is really in a bad way from what you have shared, and I really do hope that she can find support and guidance from others who have been were she is at in this point in her life.

Those children really need a helping hand as well, not sure if there is an alateen in your area but it is worth checking out.

Also, have her go to AADAC, if you have one or mental health, as those services are usually free.

Also, have her go to the free clinic for a thoural check up if you have one available, if not and she can manage it have her see a doctor who is knowledagble about addictions, and have her be brutaly honest with him or her, and let the doctor know that she is attempting to overcome her addiction, due to the length of her use, the doctor may want to keep her in the hospital for a time.

Start working on getting her identification back, it may take months, but it took 20 years for her to get to were she is now.

She needs to start going to meetings, reading books, doing what ever she needs to do to over come this and start helping herself and her family to heal from the pains and heartbreak of her addiction.

I wish you the very best and hope that you can find some support, guidance, and solace from us who post on these boards.

It is going to be a rocky road, but she really needs to start her recovery now, and not rely on a treatment center, she can begin her recovery today! If that is her choice, then there is absolutly nothing stopping her. NA is a good place to start, or any other support groups that deal with addictions, does not matter as long as she makes a begining, the important thing is if she wants to recover, she will make the effort to do so, and nothing will stand in her way.

If she balks about attending a support group, going to mental health, AADAC, free clinics, the doctors, you cna be pretty sure that she is not ready or willing to recover, and you can than refocuse your attention on those kids and do what ever you can to help them get out of the mire of their mothers addiction.

Keep in touch, wishing you all the strength and courage that you will need to do what ever it is that you need to do.

Hugs

Tammy

first and for most id like to introduce myself im 27 yrs old and my name is mike.

ive read your story and i dont think u should help him because of the fact of the matter is u can sit there til your blue in the face and say why did u do it and this and that, but it makes no diffence to me, to me hes and adult and knows right from wrong yeah ive had a hard life but ive never once used drugs or even been in jail because to me life is about choices some bad some good but with like the use of drugs noone says u have to use drugs people choose to and the only thing u can do is give advice and its there choice weather they take it or not, but u must continue to live your life and do what makes u happy is all, and if hes willing to listen to u then that means hes willing to change not for u or anyone else but for himself.....ty for your time i hope that things work out for the best but dont give up on how u live, people who make that choice to change will change it takes time but whats he doing sitting in jail so hopefully its a lesson learned.

Hi Mike,

Has your brother ever been to a drug rehab center? There are alot of good drug treatment centers out there. I kinda now what you are going through. I have friend who is in rehab for drugs and drinking.  Has your brother hit rock bottom yet ? My friend got a DUI and spent some time in Jail and thats when she hit rock bottom and decided to go into a drug rehab center.

I have been married 13 years and my husband has a drug and alcohol problem. He refuses to quit and has been in rehab 8-10 times. We have 2 kids togather and recently bought a house togather. He stated to me that he was only with me for the kids but yet he expects me to perform all the duties that a happy wife should. I can't any more and I am very unhappy. Every day for the last 6-7 months I have cried. We live paycheck to pay check and it's alot easier to say  just get a divorce and leave than to really be able to do it. He is very spiteful and very sneaky. I know that he has no plans to pay child support unless made to because he says if he leaves he will move back home with mama and daddy so he will be quitting his job. I would like to get out of this marriage but financially I can't afford a lawyer or even my house payment. The only place I can afford to live are places in the city that are high in crime. I don't want that for my kids. I don't know if I should hang in here for a little while longer or what.

The fact is he has made it clear that he is not going to get help for himself, and deal with his addiction to drugs and alcohol.

If you continue to stay with him it not helping the situation for you or your children.

Living daily with an addict is tragic and damaging, both to you and your children.

Honestly, you have to find the strength with in yourself to do what is right for you and your children.

That means leaving an abusive home and starting over with out the husband.

will he support you and your children? Probably not, i am assuming a lot of his paycheck goes towards his drugs and alcohol, and that is why you are exsisting pay check to pay check, that is not supportive in the least, and to top it off you and your children have to deal with his negative behaviors and abusive ways.

Living in an area were there is a high crime rate is not a great alternative, but at least the crime is outside the home, not with in, and you and your children can rally around each other and support each other throughthis very dificult time.

Pray for guidance and support, rely on your faith.

The strength and courage is there with in you, but you have to be willing to grab on to it and do what is right.

You have evry right to make the choice to hang in there longer, but honestly do not hang in there because you hope things will change for the better.

Fear of the unkown is huge, and I can understand that fear, but the problem with that fear is if we let it keep us from doing the best we can and what is right, the good things in life pass us by and we never even knew it.

As for not being able to afford a lawyer at this time, there is no rush to get a divorce, is there?

If you knwo that when you leave you are going to be the primary care giver and supporter of your children, it is simply a matter of removing yourself from this toxic man and begining to heal form the destructivness of his addiction.

The house payments, I am very sorry that you ar not able to pay for the house. It is nto your fault you have done everything you could to try and salvage your family unit, but your husband made it clear that you or his children are not a priority in his life, his addiction is.

If you have some family that you could stay with untill you get on your feet that would be great, if not do what you can, and know that doing the right thing is the healthiest and best choice for you and your children, as painful as it is.

Keep in touch and I wish you and your children happiness and security. Sending a healing hug your way.

Hugs

Tamy

cigarettes are highly addictive! If you can put the smokes down now, do so! It is a real struggle to quit smoking, it is a painful and life long process and if you are able to stop now, please do!

The younger you quit the more likley you are able to overcome the addiction, with minimal repercussions. Meaning it will not become so ingrained in you to smoke that you are continually havingto monitor yourself to not smoke.

You fiance canquit too, however, for him the process is going to be on that is going to take real effort daily.

If you and he can quit together and support each other through it, that would be great!

Keep in touch.

hugs

Tammy