Topic : Addiction Support

I just started attending Al-Anon because of the alcoholism of my boyfriend. He broke up with me when he "didn't want to drag me down with him" and then contacted me again because he was supposedly sober... but he relapsed almost immediately. We've been together again for three months and he (supposedly) attends AA now he's lost his job and his home is on the market.  However, he never manages to check into the recovery center as promised... I gave up and contacted Al-Anon.  The folks were really kind to me and said, "No matter what goes on with him, we'd love to have you come back." I had my first visit and my next is this week. I feel so embraced and supported, even after a week.  No one else understands how much I love him and why I put up with it, since I have a good career and a "nice" life.  These folks do. They've "been there, done that" and are still "doing it." I can't wait till my next meeting.

Hi, I am a teenager with a friend whom I believe is and will be an addict. I care for her so much but I don't know what to do. She smokes marijuana daily, has done cocaine, drinks often, smokes, has done lsd and mushrooms. She is such a funny and wonderful person but everytime she does a drug she loses a little bit more of herself. None of the drugs she has done are really hard drugs like heroin or crack but I know that is next for her. She has no real ambitions anymore and it destroys me. I did pot with her but it screwed up my family. I could not do it anymore. It was not worth it to me. I do well in school, I am trying to go to college soon, I want to become a lawyer. I am so excited for college and it is hard for me because I know she can't share this joy. Her boyfriend does not help this problem. He does the same if not more drugs than she and he deals. He does not treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I have told her this many times but she always ends up back with him. Lately I have been trying to avoid hanging out with her because it is so hard for me to deal with what she does. It's fine during school, even though she often comes to school high. If anyone can help me I would appreciate any feed back.

Does her parents know? I would start by contacting her parents and let her parents know what is going on, even if you have to find out where they work and call them at work so she doesn't know that you are the one that called.  If her parents are not the option, then go to your school dean, counselor, tell them what is going on, tell them who is suppling the drugs, call the cops and tell them who is providing the drugs.  Hang in there and be blessed that you are not addicted and can see at such an early age what drugs can/will do to you.  Hope this helps.

Her parents kind of know. They know that she has done marijuana. She lied about how much though. They do not know about her boyfriend and what he does. I appreciate your help. I think I may talk to the counselor. Thank you.

My 17 year old daughter is on drugs, although she would deny it if asked.  I haven't seen her in a week.  She is 2 lessons and 1 final away from graduating, but she won't do it.  I believe she is on oxycontin.  I do not know what to do or where to turn. Her boyfriend is just as bad.  She has stolen so much from our family and we are heartsick.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  How do you make someone go to rehab or detox if they are in denial? 

I am sorry to hear about your son.  After reading this, the first thing I thought of was....how is he getting the money to buy his drugs?  I am assuming he still lives with you...if so, you need to take away his money, or whatever it is, his car,...etc on how he is getting these drugs in the first place.  Make it harder to where he doesnt have a car to go get them, dont let his "friends" come to the house, cut off his cell phone, just tell him you don't know what's wrong with it.  This might be a start but then your going to have to deal with the withdrawls when he doesn't have anything to get high with. 

i have many addictions sex, alcohol, bulimia, and hurting my self ive been with my fiance 14 years he tries to understand & help  but he cant he wont let me shave unless he thinks im ok 2 which 4 a girl that sucks! but its hard and scary i know it just seems easier sometimes i dont know if you like the band linkin park but they have a song "bleed it out" and i swear sometimes thats what it feels like when you are just going crazy inside sometimes the cutting is just a way to scream it out without saying a word i hate it & i really dont wish it on anyone EVER! its just i understand i really only wish the best for you ive been doing it for years but youve only been doing it a year get help b4 it takes you over! all the best!!

I am coming to you as a wife, mother, daughter, and sister who needs serious help. Somewhere along the way I have lost touch with my true self. I don't know for sure when this happened because when I think back, it seems that I have always been this way. If you ask my family, they would say that it happened in my adolescent years.

 

To define what is wrong with me is hard to do. I don't even know where to start. In my mind, everything is wrong. The easiest way to give you an idea of what is going on is to just list my major malfunctions.

 

First, I have an aggression in me that scares me. It seems to be out of my control. It's not present all of the time. It comes and goes. Even the smallest thing can trigger it. My aggression has played a huge part in the rift between myself and my family. I am worried that if I don't find where this anger is coming from or learn how to control it I might do something I'll regret.

 

There is also something that I do that is really hard to describe that bothers me. For some reason, I seem to make dumb decisions after dumb decisions after dumb decisions. This has been a pattern through out my life. When I make these dumb decisions, I lie about them not only to everyone else, but to myself as well. When I lie to everyone else, it's just to not let then know what I did. When I lie to myself, it’s like I try to justify what I did and why I did it in order to make myself feel better. This never works, and I can't stop doing it. In my earlier years, I made a lot of dumb decisions and really didn't care. Now that I am older and more aware of the consequences, I just don't want to let anybody down. This is probably the main factor in the rift between myself and my family. They don't feel like they can trust me, and I don't blame them a bit. I don't even trust myself anymore. I can't seem to stop myself from making these dumb decisions, and I don't know why.

 

Another of my many malfunctions is what I call an "addictive personality." I tend to get addicted to things very easily. It doesn't matter what it is. It can be a certain kind of food, a certain thing I do, and yes, even "extra curricular activities" in other words drugs. The drugs started as an escape from "my reality," and then became an addiction. My drug of choice was Meth. This drug made me feel like I could do anything which really made "my reality" tolerable. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I quit doing all drugs as well as smoking. I didn't do this for myself. I did it for her, and she is the only reason I haven't went back, to Meth anyway. The cigarettes, unfortunately, are once again an addiction.

 

The use of Meth brings me to my next malfunction. When I quit doing Meth, I started loosing my motivation and started to slip into depression. As time went on, my motivation seemed to get less and less, and the depression seemed to get greater and greater. I did finally take some initiative a few months ago and went to the doctor. He prescribed me Zoloft which at first seemed to help. About a month after I started taking the Zoloft I noticed that my motivation level was not getting any better. It seemed to still be declining at the same rate. The only thing that the Zoloft did help was my social anxiety disorder which was a big relief, but I can't seem to get my motivation back and this in turn depresses me.

 

I am coming to you because I am at a loss. I don't know what to do or even how to do it. I just want to feel normal, and I want to get my relationship with my family back. The only way to do this is to address my problems and learn to deal with them in the right way or to fix them altogether. I am not a rich person. I cannot afford to pay for treatment, but there has to be something out there that I can do to help myself.

 

I just wanted see if maybe you could give me some suggestions as to what I need to do or even who or where I could go to in my area that could provide me with the help I need. I don't know if there is such a thing as a "free" treatment center or something to that extent. All I know that is I need help, and I am at a point in my life that I am willing to try anything to be normal.

 

I watch your show and see these guests that have a problem, and think they don't. Then you offer them help they need, and they don't take advantage of it. I find myself saying "Take it. Take the help. I wish I could be in your shoes. I am ready. I need the help." I understand where they are coming from because I used to be that person. I thought I had everything under control, but recently I realized that I never had control to begin with. I just want to let you know that I am ready. I need the help. I want to take it. Thank you for taking the time to listen to my problems.

 

My son, 21, just a few days ago admitted to me that he has a problem with alcohol and marijuana.  He cannot go a day without one or the other, if he can get it. He's admitted that he wants to stop but no longer has the ability. He is also suffering from depression and has suicidal thoughts and dreams.  He wants help and I am unsure what the first step would be. There is no insurance so an expensive treatment center or detox center is out of the question. I have called several health professionals and have received very conflicting stories. Some say the suicidal thoughts should be the first priority and then the substance abuse after that..Any suggestions on where to go from here???

I wish there was a simple answer for your question, it would help a lot of families. Unfortunately, untill she admits to having a problem and actually wants help, the only effective thing you can do is PRAY. I have a 28 year old daughter that started at 13 running away and drinking. It has since progressed into crack, sex and being a fugitive of the law. Over the years we have sent her to treatment centers and have had counseling. There were a few years scattered in that things where on the up swing. She married a really nice guy (or so we thought)

and God had been the center of their relationship for a couple of years. Then all hell broke loose. Long story short. I am raising one of  my granddaughters and we have not seen her mother since July 2007. I don't have a clue as to where she is or how she is doing. Am I looking for her?? I regret to tell you "no, I am not". WHY??? My priority is to the little one that I hold in my arms everyday and Praise God that she is safe from the world that my daughter would have exposed her to.

 

This epidemic that our loved ones are involved in, being drugs or alcohol, is far from being under control. I truely believe (because of our own family denial and wake up calls) that we are only scratching the tip of

the issue. The amount of "NORMAL" people out there doing drugs is unreal.

 

I know I haven't given you much here. I'd love to tell you everything will be alright.

The only thing that I know for sure is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Don't give up on her, let her know that you still love her and you want her to get help and you will be part of her support system. A word of caution, be careful to not enable her to continue.