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Topic : 05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

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Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:08:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil continues his work with The Dr. Phil Family, an out-of-control, angry group with a long history of infidelities, betrayals and bitter resentments. Melissa’s boyfriend, Randy, joins the family at The Dr. Phil House, but Gene and Myra are not happy to see him. They think that Randy is a liar and a thief, and the reason Melissa has gained about 100 pounds in the last five years. Gene and Myra attempt to talk to Melissa about her weight, but Melissa is anything but receptive. Then, because they often blame each other for the chaos in the family, Melissa and Gene are assigned to bury the hatchet long enough to cook a family dinner together, without help from anyone else. Will these relatives be able to follow the rules? After dinner, a family meeting turns heated with accusations and tearful confessions. Dr. Phil joins the family and confronts Melissa and Randy about their sometimes violent relationship and Melissa’s mismanagement of her health. Can this couple create a nurturing relationship for the sake of their autistic child? Will Melissa do what it takes to gain control over her weight? Share your thoughts here.



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May 31, 2007, 1:21 am CDT

05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: airbornewife82

For the love of god people, Randy has feelings and so does Edwin, think about this before making the gay comments! Have some manners! These boys are being embarrased for no good reason. These boys have families who I am sure do not like the comments being said! Randy does need help and has to work on his problems but being gay is so not one of them!!! He loves Melissa very much, they just need to help each other. Again think about what you are saying about these boys and think about their feelings!! My brother and Melissa's brother are NOT gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You make it sound like being gay is something to be ashamed of. Myself and others are only pointing out what is being screamed out by these young men. There is nothing wrong with being gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
May 31, 2007, 1:25 am CDT

05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: forpaws

What is with Melissa's boyfriend and her brother hugging each other?  They continued to hug and comfort each other throughout the entire show.  Why wasn't Melissa sitting next to her boyfriend?  Looked very weird to me.

I completely agree. I thought I was the only one that noticed. What is up with that?                        Another  "Family In Crisis" show i guess.
 
May 31, 2007, 3:23 am CDT

Depression: It really Hurts

Most of you want to say that Melissa is just lazy. Well I say that Melissa is Depressed.  Depression is a serious illness that effects alot of us.  I know first hand.  It seems to me that she slowly spiraled downword into a deep pit of what you all are calling laziness I am calling "going into my room."  The more depressed she (I) gets, the more she (I) retreat into a smaller and smaller world.  That is why her house isn't getting cleaned.  I bet the area where she spends her time reading is sparkling clean.  I really feel for her.  I also feel for her son.  Depression hurts everyone around it.  I am sure now that Dr. Phil is involved, her and her son will get all that they need, which is the most important.

 
May 31, 2007, 6:07 pm CDT

disturbing

Quote From: michele0415

Why wasn't Randy sitting by Melissa if he is so in love with her. I was very disturbed with how Randy and Melissa's brother were so touchy feely towards one another!!!!!! I don't understand why Dr. Phil didn't address that? Maybe he is just more geared toward getting Melissa in a place mentally and physically to deal with Randy's sexuality at a later date. I do wish Melissa well - she is in a tough place and she deserves to be happy again. She is still a beautiful girl. It hurt me to hear her mother gush over her 'old' picture so much. I wish the family luck.
I was disturbed by how all the young peopel acted in this episode.
 
June 2, 2007, 12:48 am CDT

cut melissa some slack

I read so many of these posts and can't believe how judgmental some of them are.  Who cares if the boyfriend and the brother sat close to each other. That is kind of beside the point don't ya'll think?  Melissa is in crisis at this very moment and needs positive thoughts, not us questioning her boyfriend’s sexuality.  As I watched and listened to her talk I heard my words coming out of her mouth.  She said, "I never thought this would be my life."  She sounded so overwhelmed.  I get that.

 

2 years ago my 8 year old niece was raped and when she told her parents they did nothing.  They told her not to tell anyone.  She kept telling until someone listened to her.  So, she and her sister were taken by the state and placed with me.  I was 28, single, and a college student, oh yeah and taking care of my parents who are both disabled.  I understand overwhelmed.  It easily leads to depression, and food can offer solace.  Now I am the same size as Melissa,  and have been sleeping all day and staying up all night.  It took seeing this happening to someone else to realize that depression has won this round with me.  I hope that Melissa wins her bout with depression and overcomes her food issues.  Because if she can, it gives me hope.

 

 

 
June 2, 2007, 7:17 pm CDT

EMOTIONAL EATING - 7 TYPES OF ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION

The brain is involved in everything we do. How we think, how we feel, how we act, and how well we get along with other people is related to the moment-by-moment functioning of the brain. When the brain works right, people tend to work right. When the brain is troubled, people tend to struggle being their best selves.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

 

 

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

 

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge 

 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

 

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

 

 

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

 

 

Hope it helps!

 

 
August 31, 2007, 3:13 pm CDT

I beg your pardon?

Quote From: lizard110366

I couldn't believe my ears when Melissa said her life was ruined because all she had was her son.  If I had a son that was as precious as Ryan I would be the most thankful mother in the world because God chose me to take care of His "special" angel.

 

Let me just say I don't think she blames *Ryan* for "ruining her life." I think she blames his autism, and I can sure relate to that! She isn't the most educated and mature parent, so I think she fairly easily conveys thoughts in ways she doesn't intend to. In any case, I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt because she's  very likely seriously burned out from trying to do everything she needs to for her son. There were times, when my son was Ryan's age, that I actually thought about killing myself because I was so overwhelmed. Trust me: If you don't have an autistic child, you cannot possibly have a clue what she's dealing with. It isn't even like CP or Down Syndrome, so they can't be compared, either. Autism is mentally and physically exhausting, and unless/until the child can learn to communicate and behaviors can be dealt with effectively, there is little hope for parents ever being able to feel the love for their child that we have all so desperately wanted to. It honestly took me years, even though I didn't blame my son for his problems, and I am older and much better-educated than Melissa is.

 

LIZARD :)

Well, considering this was back in May my reply probably won't get read.  However, I felt like posting anyway.  You said autism is nothing like CP or down syndrome because neither of them are physically and /or mentally as exhasusting as autism, huh?  Now you've barked up the wrong tree.  One is just as frustrating as the others.  I was diagnosed with CP at 2 months old as a result of a DPT shot, I am now 26. So, if you think only having the use of one hand isn't physically and mentally exhausting you've got alot to learn.  I never made a comparison between any of the three because coming from someone with a disabilty, I know better than to think I've got it worse than someone else. Growing up, my parents always told my sisters and I, "There will always be someone who has it better than you and someone who has it worse than you, so don't ever think you've got it bad." 

 

It was far more exhausting on my mother than it was me because she had the responsibilty of getting me to and from the doctors visits.  Between weekly doctors visits, which took

anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour taveling one way, to have blood drawn (which by no means was easy for either of us), and the daily theropy multiple times a day, I'd say that's pretty mentally and physically exhausting, wouldn't you?  I'm sure you can relate to that also. I realize that from reading my original post you had no clue that I am someone with a disability, so I will give you the benifit of the doubt, but I am and I feel I do have a say.  Who knows maybe we could one day discuss our frustrations with disabilities.

 

Michelle

 
August 31, 2007, 4:00 pm CDT

05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: barbarapag

As the mother of a 19 yr old autistic son, I was outraged and saddened by today's show.  How will this child every want to communicate when he is surrounded by yelling, hitting and anger.  I think even a typical child would be seriously affected.  The most outrageous statement is that this mother is "bored".  I have not been bored in 19 yrs.  There are so many seminars, support groups, etc. for parents - so many books to read.  She claims that her son is the most important thing in her life, but I found her to be totally self-indulgent.  If she has "nothing to do" while her son is in school, why doesn't she volunteer at his school, a special needs social group or with the Special Olympics.  Has she heard about Applied Behavior Analysis.  Why doesn't she train herself if she is so bored and claims to be such a concerned mother.  Bored - NEVER.

 

Proud mother of a happy, healthy, active and productive autistic young man.

Now why can't everyone have your outlook on life raising a child with a disability?  You make me think so much of my own mother.  I was diagnosed with CP at 2 months old, I am now 26 and my mother never one time ever made me feel that I ruined her life, or that she got "bored" with me. Then again there was no time to be bored with the weekly doctors visits and theropy.  If I remember correctly we spent 7 agongizing hours seeing 4 or 5 doctors in one day.  She certainly never came across as suicidal.  After all, it's not like either of us chose it, that's what I want o to ask most mothers that seem so resentful, even if it isn't their intention.  Anyway, just wanted to say THANKS for being the type to put your son's needs before your own. 

 
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