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Topic : 05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Number of Replies: 118
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:08:44 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil continues his work with The Dr. Phil Family, an out-of-control, angry group with a long history of infidelities, betrayals and bitter resentments. Melissa’s boyfriend, Randy, joins the family at The Dr. Phil House, but Gene and Myra are not happy to see him. They think that Randy is a liar and a thief, and the reason Melissa has gained about 100 pounds in the last five years. Gene and Myra attempt to talk to Melissa about her weight, but Melissa is anything but receptive. Then, because they often blame each other for the chaos in the family, Melissa and Gene are assigned to bury the hatchet long enough to cook a family dinner together, without help from anyone else. Will these relatives be able to follow the rules? After dinner, a family meeting turns heated with accusations and tearful confessions. Dr. Phil joins the family and confronts Melissa and Randy about their sometimes violent relationship and Melissa’s mismanagement of her health. Can this couple create a nurturing relationship for the sake of their autistic child? Will Melissa do what it takes to gain control over her weight? Share your thoughts here.



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May 28, 2007, 1:22 pm CDT

Bored??????

As the mother of a 19 yr old autistic son, I was outraged and saddened by today's show.  How will this child every want to communicate when he is surrounded by yelling, hitting and anger.  I think even a typical child would be seriously affected.  The most outrageous statement is that this mother is "bored".  I have not been bored in 19 yrs.  There are so many seminars, support groups, etc. for parents - so many books to read.  She claims that her son is the most important thing in her life, but I found her to be totally self-indulgent.  If she has "nothing to do" while her son is in school, why doesn't she volunteer at his school, a special needs social group or with the Special Olympics.  Has she heard about Applied Behavior Analysis.  Why doesn't she train herself if she is so bored and claims to be such a concerned mother.  Bored - NEVER.

 

Proud mother of a happy, healthy, active and productive autistic young man.

 
May 28, 2007, 1:27 pm CDT

I understand

I don't condone, but I understand.  I am the widowed mother of an adult autistic and I too am overweight and lazy. But lazy is my coping mechanism...I work a hard job and take care of the Kid, and that's all I have the energy for...

He's not getting better and I'm not able to fix it.  What's the point?  I have been coping for twenty-five years and I am all coped out...

I understand how she feels...I really do.  She needs to learn to drive and get a job working the opposite hours of her useless boyfriend ( that's what my husband and I did for years).

And please....don't tell me to get help.  It's been 25 years...I have tried to get help in more ways than I can count.  When you have a child with autism the world pretends to care.  When that child is an adult ( and mine wasn't diagnosed until he was 14) they don't even pretend to care anymore...there isn't help.   I can't even find a dentist for him...he's unpredictable you know. 

This woman feels overwhelmed and hopeless...she still has time to change it though...

take care of myself? when?eat healthy? can't afford it.  join a gym? it is to laugh....

This woman needs the help that I was never able to find. It will be a real shame if she wakes up where I am in twenty years...

I gave up...I'm too alone and too tired and there's nowhere else to turn...

 

 
May 28, 2007, 1:27 pm CDT

confused

Good afternoon. I am more concerned about the relationship of the daughter and her boyfriend. Towards the end of the show during the counseling Dr. Phil had with the family, I noticed the boyfriends and t older brother sat closer together and the boyfriend is hugging the brother instead of being with his girlfriend. Also when the boyfriend was crying which I believe is apart of his munipulation, the boyfriend began to console the brother. Is this something that's regular practice in today's families. If he is to try to make it wok with his girlfrend shouldn't he have been sitting with his girlfriend and consloing his girlfriend through the issues she was having? This is just a question.
 
May 28, 2007, 1:30 pm CDT

family house

I just watched Melissa flip out on her family about caring for her son and her issue of being overweight!

 

I dont see depression with this girl. I think she is angry because she has put herself in a bad situation. And she is blaming her problems on the rest of her family. It isnt her families responsibility to help her care for her child. Disabled or not, it is her child! Not her parents or siblings. She needs to quit pointing the finger at everyone and start pointing it at herself.

 

She doesnt have a job, she doesnt have a 'life' she sits at home watching tv for 2 years straight....the person she can blame for that is herself....Ooooh she sparked a nerve with me!

 
May 28, 2007, 1:34 pm CDT

I think Melissa needs some help with her autistic child.

Quote From: shelby1116

There is hope for this family, who are we to say that there is not??!!  Of course it is going to be ugly as everything gets out in the open as it is not a pretty process.  My heart goes out to all of them, but especially  to Melissa. I truly know what she feels. One day you look around and see that your life is not what you dreamed it would be, and you try to eat yourself into numbness. It bites...no pun intended. I hope that the points Dr. Phil is making will get through to her.

I don't think this family is going to change. I think this is just the way they are. I DO think that Melissa could use some sort of help with her son. This seems like one big mess to me. I think ,deep down, they all actually love each other. But I don't think it's possible for them to be any other way.
 
May 28, 2007, 1:57 pm CDT

05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Her boyfriend is a cry baby and the kid should be taking away from this lazy girl and she should kick the boy  friend out or press charges on him.
 
May 28, 2007, 1:58 pm CDT

Melissa

  I think that people that don't have a child with autism can speak for those who do!! I think that Melissa needs support. I have been in her shoes as my son is autistic and I can understand the feelings and how you get depressed and I too was guilty of eating when I felt bad. I just lost 42 lbs and I am doing for my son and my daughter!! Melissa if you are reading this I understand but there is hope, my son has made huge gains with lots of support, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I blamed myself that my son was this way but it is out of our control but their futures aren't!! Hang in there girl, it gets better!!!
 
May 28, 2007, 1:58 pm CDT

Just a POV

Quote From: princessmommy

In the show today Mom was talking to Melissa's boyfriend about buying fruit and veggies to help her get healthier and lose weight. Well the boyfriend said they don't buy it cause they don't like that stuff well what about the child? Is he getting what he needs as a child? I think Melissa is lazy and needs to have a reality check. Melissa is only going to have things changed in her life only if she gets off her butt.

I agree with this post......it's her life, she needs to take control and not wait for Mommy and Daddy to help her out, how is it their fault/responsibility to help her with HER child??   There are TONS of programs out there for special needs children...believe me I know, she just hasn't taken the first step to get it for him.......IMO because she is lazy and depressed......she really needs to work on herself.............
 
May 28, 2007, 2:02 pm CDT

Family

Dr.Phil work on the father and mother and leave the young lady that is overweight alone. If I was raised by those parents I would be depressed and overweight. You also have to look at the fact she has a son and no help. Where is grandma and grandpa. You focus to much on people that have flaws. GET REAL
 
May 28, 2007, 2:02 pm CDT

having a child with autism is tough I live it.

Oh my goodness did today’s show hit home for me.  I am so sorry for all that Melissa is going through much of what she said could be me talking.  The only difference is that I have a loving husband who is supportive and four children.  Two of my four children have special needs.  When my oldest son was born he was born with albinism and as a result he was totally blind.  I ate my self into obesity.  I also spent all of my time working with my son losing myself in the process.  I didn’t know where the cute, bubbly, sassy person had gone.  Perhaps she was buried under all the fat.  In time I realized that my amazing son was going to do just fine in life.  He is popular, articulate, smart, and just an all around great person.  I began to take time for myself and the pounds came off.  My husband and I had 2 more biological children and then we decided to adopt a child who has albinism.  What we didn’t know is that she also has autism.  Autism is tough and it is easy to loose yourself in self pity, daily struggles and land in survival mode.  Dr. Phil until you walk a day in Melissa’s shoes I don’t think that you should be so quick to judge.  Perhaps you should test her neurotransmitters my guess is that she has so significant needs.   She is in survival mode and probably needs more than a good talking too. 

Our daughter is doing well and progressing amazingly well.  We are treating her autism medically at the NNY Autism Center in Black River, NY and the results are amazing.  The stress is getting to be bearable and I am now able to think more of myself.  Dr. Phil when your child is suffering all some parents can think of is that child.  Autism is tough, probably more so that people who do not have a child with autism can comprehend.  Melissa if you are reading this take your son to the NNY Autism Center it has made a huge difference in our daughter’s life and in turn in the quality of ours. 

 
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