Topic : 05/28 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: shelly_80

I couldn't believe my ears when Melissa said her life was ruined because all she had was her son.  If I had a son that was as precious as Ryan I would be the most thankful mother in the world because God chose me to take care of His "special" angel.  It's not like she didn't realiaze getting pregnant was a possibility if she chose to do what it took to get that way.  She made her bed now she pissed because she's having to lay in it.  Ryan did not choose to be born nor did he choose to have whatever disabilities he has.  Therefore, she needs to choose her words very carefully because it's not his fault that she made such a mess of her life.  The only things you get out of life are the things you choose to put in it. She needs to realize that the the very instant she chose to have sex and get pregnant it was no longer about her selfish desires; it became about the well-being of her son.  If she really does resent him that much, then she needs to do what's right for him and give him to a well-established family that will love him regardless.  I hope realized how truly blessed she is to have him. 

Quote From: laura_d

I am new member who just registered purely because of today's show. I am not annoyed just more concerned. I am professional in the field of psychology and I currently am working exclusively with children who have been diagnosed with autism. My minor wish is simply just to make it know that as a field we are trying to move away from the use of "autistic children" to "children with autism" because we do not believe that autism is who the child is as "autistic child" implies but that autism is just an unquie characteristic that the child has. I realize most people say it as "autistic child" but were are strongly encouraging society to move away from that term.

 

Thank-you! And to all the parents with children out there with autism I wish you all the best!!!

Quote From: lizard110366

I couldn't believe my ears when Melissa said her life was ruined because all she had was her son.  If I had a son that was as precious as Ryan I would be the most thankful mother in the world because God chose me to take care of His "special" angel.

 

Let me just say I don't think she blames *Ryan* for "ruining her life." I think she blames his autism, and I can sure relate to that! She isn't the most educated and mature parent, so I think she fairly easily conveys thoughts in ways she doesn't intend to. In any case, I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt because she's  very likely seriously burned out from trying to do everything she needs to for her son. There were times, when my son was Ryan's age, that I actually thought about killing myself because I was so overwhelmed. Trust me: If you don't have an autistic child, you cannot possibly have a clue what she's dealing with. It isn't even like CP or Down Syndrome, so they can't be compared, either. Autism is mentally and physically exhausting, and unless/until the child can learn to communicate and behaviors can be dealt with effectively, there is little hope for parents ever being able to feel the love for their child that we have all so desperately wanted to. It honestly took me years, even though I didn't blame my son for his problems, and I am older and much better-educated than Melissa is.

 

LIZARD :)

Quote From: cajunmiss2

Edwin,

 

Sorry to have offended you...this was just a perception of what was broadcast on the show.  I am obviously not the only person who percieved you'll as "cozy".  Maybe YOU are affectionate in general, but Randy is the person in question here.  He seems to be a very confused and untruthful person.  You may want to be careful that your affection is not being misinterpreted by him.  The affection shown by him towards you was NOT normal.  This guy has some emotional turmoil going on inside of him, he's trying to find himself. 

 

Men showing affection is quite ok...my brother and father too-- hug and  tell one another they love each other.  My husband hugs and kisses his father and brother just the same...but what was shown on the Dr. Phil show, was not the norm.  Best wishes to you and your family. 

 

Remember, blood is thicker than water...Melissa needs you.  You should be there for her and your nephew.  Part of her problem is that she feels alone with raising her son.  Your friendship with Randy may be sending her mixed emotions as well.  As a mother of and "autistic" realm child, I too need my family most.  Our strongest support is those who love us unconditionally.  Please recognize this...and put your efforts toward showing your sister you are there for HER.

Quote From: janie2256

 I can't help wondering why everyone seemed to think it was perfectly normal for the boyfriend and Melissa's brother to be all snuggled up together on the couch for so long.  Adult men, who are straight, do not do that.  Period.  Why didn't Melissa's parents say something?  Do they think it's ok for their son to have a man's arm around him, pulling him right next to him,  for an hour?  Didn't Dr.Phil notice? 

Do you all think that Dr.Phil will ask about the boyfriend cuddling with the brother?  To me, the boyfriend is so obviously gay.  No wonder Melissa's depressed! 

Quote From: cajunmiss2

Edwin,

 

Sorry to have offended you...this was just a perception of what was broadcast on the show.  I am obviously not the only person who percieved you'll as "cozy".  Maybe YOU are affectionate in general, but Randy is the person in question here.  He seems to be a very confused and untruthful person.  You may want to be careful that your affection is not being misinterpreted by him.  The affection shown by him towards you was NOT normal.  This guy has some emotional turmoil going on inside of him, he's trying to find himself. 

 

Men showing affection is quite ok...my brother and father too-- hug and  tell one another they love each other.  My husband hugs and kisses his father and brother just the same...but what was shown on the Dr. Phil show, was not the norm.  Best wishes to you and your family. 

 

Remember, blood is thicker than water...Melissa needs you.  You should be there for her and your nephew.  Part of her problem is that she feels alone with raising her son.  Your friendship with Randy may be sending her mixed emotions as well.  As a mother of and "autistic" realm child, I too need my family most.  Our strongest support is those who love us unconditionally.  Please recognize this...and put your efforts toward showing your sister you are there for HER.

Quote From: lizard110366

I couldn't believe my ears when Melissa said her life was ruined because all she had was her son.  If I had a son that was as precious as Ryan I would be the most thankful mother in the world because God chose me to take care of His "special" angel.

 

Let me just say I don't think she blames *Ryan* for "ruining her life." I think she blames his autism, and I can sure relate to that! She isn't the most educated and mature parent, so I think she fairly easily conveys thoughts in ways she doesn't intend to. In any case, I think she deserves the benefit of the doubt because she's  very likely seriously burned out from trying to do everything she needs to for her son. There were times, when my son was Ryan's age, that I actually thought about killing myself because I was so overwhelmed. Trust me: If you don't have an autistic child, you cannot possibly have a clue what she's dealing with. It isn't even like CP or Down Syndrome, so they can't be compared, either. Autism is mentally and physically exhausting, and unless/until the child can learn to communicate and behaviors can be dealt with effectively, there is little hope for parents ever being able to feel the love for their child that we have all so desperately wanted to. It honestly took me years, even though I didn't blame my son for his problems, and I am older and much better-educated than Melissa is.

 

LIZARD :)

Quote From: janie2256

 Is this you?  I have a question for you.  Why was your boyfriend cuddling with your brother all through the part of the show with Dr.Phil?  Does he do that often?  Have you considered that your bf is gay?  Everything about him screamed GAY to me, the way he was with your brother, the way he sat, the way he talked, and the sobbing.  He may not have admitted it yet, even to himself, but he sure seems gay.  If I were your parents, I would let him sit there snuggling with my son.  It's just not right.  imo Your parents need to wake up and smell the coffee! 

Quote From: rr1227

This is Melissa and I will say that my boyfriend is not gay. If he was I would accept it and we would work it through, there are much worse things to be than gay. My brother Ed and my boyfriend have an exceptionally close relationship, if the shoe was on the other foot my boyfriend would have comforted Ed in exactly the same way. They just happen to be really sensitive... this is actually possible without any kind of sexual innuendo going on. All of you need to get your mind out of the gutter because it was exactly what you saw, nothing more or less.

Quote From: happimommy

I watch Dr. Phil  as often as I can. usually, I am the one going, "I can't believe these people!"  I have never really connected something he said to my life...until today. I guess this was my "A-ha"  moment as his friend Oprah says.

 

I am Melissa's size. They mentioned her weight amount and her clothing size too. I live in denial. I have a son. He is 5 months old. When Dr. Phil said 'You have no right  to. . . " and he talked about her excuses: that was ME. I mean, melissa and I are day and night when it comes to happiness and relationships, but I actually knew that Dr. Phil would say those things to me about my weight.

 

When he said  that she was responsible for her weight and at her funeral she should tell her son she could have changed it but didn't........I lifted from my chair in a state of panic! I went to my son's crib where he was taking a nap and started balling like a baby!

 

By being overweight, I miss so much already! I can't even swing in  a park with my nephews because they swing doesn't fit me and roller coasters, swimming pools, airplanes, parties, movie theatres are all places I avoid on purpose because I don't like being reminded of my weight! What am I going to miss out when my son gets older? Or will I even be here?? NO WAY am I going to miss another thing!

 

I do love my son. And, I have to take care of his mother.

 

Thank you Dr. Phil. You finally got me.  Mark me on your reaction belt!

 

No more excuses. I promise.