Message Boards

Topic : 05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Number of Replies: 109
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:10:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

After all their hard work, the latest Dr. Phil Family receives some surprises from Dr. Phil! He informs Melissa that everything she needs to get her life back on track is headed her way: a complete health evaluation, personal trainer, nutritionist, and food service delivered to her door. In addition, she’ll receive help for her depression and be connected with a developmental disabilities specialist for her autistic son. But it all comes with a condition: Melissa and Randy need to heal their toxic relationship. Then, a talk with Myra and Gene leads to a tearful apology. And, will a one-on-one with Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, help Myra see that she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect? Will Myra set some standards in her broken marriage? Will there even be a marriage to speak of when they get home? Dr. Phil has some strong words for Gene. Next, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pits brother against brother as Edwin and Eugene audition for a Hollywood talent agent and a casting director. Don’t miss the surprising twist when they get a call from the judges. Then, it’s time to switch gears – literally! Since Myra and Melissa never learned to drive, Dr. Phil sets them up with a driving lesson so they can become more independent. And you won’t believe the prize in store for the women if they pass their driver’s test! Dr. Phil sits down with the entire family one last time. Will they use the tools he gave them to build healthier relationships? Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

More May 2007 Show Boards


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 30, 2007, 4:26 am CDT

From sassie

Quote From: ltreed

In fact, she inspired me to write to Dr. Phil about my own problem(s) today:

 

I've written quite a few times about one family crisis or another, but now this is my final email.  It's not about and it's all about  those things I've previously written about.  I'm just so depressed about my life and spent the last few days crying when no one is looking. I have a great personality and sense of humor which covers up my real feelings and I'm tired of pretending. I'm now 50 years old and wonder "is this all there is?". I've made wrong choices in men and have 3 children who have paid the consequences of my choices. My weight is also a symptom of those choices. I'm a mess and don't know how to truly change things for the better. I have one daughter from the first husband, age 30 on meth, I have one son, age 18 who was on meds since age 4 and whose father died from drugs and paternal grandparents brainwashing him that I don't care about him. He's moved out with those grandparents just a few weeks ago. I have another son, age 12, who is the love of my life and whose father is my current husband who is another bad choice. He's a good provider, but is absent emotionally from us. I pretend I'm happy, I shop to make myself happy, I eat to make myself happy. I'm NOT happy. I want another life. I want my daughter to know I love her and get off meth, I want my son (even tho he's not a very nice person to me) to know I love him and have always cared about him, I want my youngest to know that I'm a good Mom and I care about ALL my kids.  My Dad cheated on my Mom when I was a kid and they got divorced. I was devastated by my first real boyfriend when he broke up with me, then the 2nd boy in high school who I still love to this very day, broke up with me and then I chose my first husband just for companionship. There hasn't been love involved in my relationships since I was 18. Drugs and alcohol were involved in my first 2 adult relationships, so now I have a husband who doesn't drink or drug but isn't there for me or the kids. He's extremely judgemental and has pushed my 18 year old away since he's been 4 years old. I want a home, a husband who loves me and who really truly cares about me and is my friend. I NEED a friend. I'm tired of choosing men who are beneath me just so that I don't have to worry that they'll leave me. They're not good enough for me, but I feel that I'm not good enough for the one's who could be good enough for me. Oh Dr. Phil, please help me sort this all out. I don't want to grow old and die unhappy and feeling cheated in life.

 

 

Ya know, there's a lot more to someone's problems than what you see on the TV screen on the show.  Melissa has issues that cause her to feel sad and depressed.  In turn, she eats and pretends to hold everything together.  She needs to get honest with herself and not worry about hurting anyone's feelings now that she's able to talk to Dr. Phil.  He's going to be her lifeline to changing her life.  Like Melissa, I feel that I also have many issues that span many years of heartache.  I *do* acknowledge it, but still don't know how to change it.  I'm overwhelmed and not sure what to do first.  So, I just go on with normal day to day activities and stuff my feelings.  Sometimes, like during the show, all my issues come to a head and I cry and cry, but still I don't know what to do.  Sure, I could go to a therapist, but I want help NOW, not months and months from now after going from session to session. I don't mind going, but I need a gameplan. Every therapist I've ever gone to was too wishy-washy. I know Dr. Phil wouldn't be like that. I need him before everything comes crashing down on me. I feel it.

Please get some help for yourself, don't wait around for someone to come rescue you, that might not happen. Have you tried prayer? Stand up and make right choices for yourself, you can do it, don't give up! You said in your post that you have tried therapy but that the therapists were wishy washy..lol..you have to not only want the help bad enough, you are going to have to do the work and with all that you said that has happened to you over the past years, sounds like to me there is much work to do. Not everything is going to change overnight. I know we live in a fast food society and we have our microwaves to make cooking faster and would be nice if we could fix everything up all nice and neat just as fast as we can cook our food but that isn't reality. My best to you!
 
May 30, 2007, 4:44 am CDT

Autism

Quote From: blackcatcoll

Why is Melissa blaming her child for her problems? Why isn't the child in school for intervention with his autism? I know 3 families with autistic children; and none of the mother's are fat. My granddaughter has a child about Ryan's age; and she is in school. My granddaughter started her own photography business after she and her husband divorced. She also has another child.

I think Melliss is unwilling to admit that she has made poor choices in her life. Number one is getting pregnant as a teenage; and two is staying in an unhealthy relationship. This has nothing to do with her child being autistic. She should leave Randy and move closer to her mother; so she could get help with her child.

This child needs love; not blame. How cold of a person is she to blame the child for her poor decision making and laziness!
Do you have any experience of a child with autism?  My niece has Asperger's and her parents work together constantly to help keep her in this world (in this alert world of ours that is).  Before she went to school (mainstream school with a teachers aide) she didn't talk to anyone or listen, all she did was scream if someone came near her, stare into space and sleep 3 hours a night (try living with that much sleep full time).  Asperger's is a mild form of Autism and my sister and brother-in law are in debt paying for programs for her to attend since they can't get funding and are at their wits ends worrying about whether she will be able to cope on her own one day (or what if something happens to them?).  Mild autism is so far to the other extreme of the form of autism Melissa's little boy has and people have a hard time living with that.  I feel for you Melissa and you need to know you and your little guy aren't alone in this, the rate of autism around the world has increased.  With alergies and everything what the hel* is happening to our children? 
 
May 30, 2007, 4:56 am CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: rr1227

I ate all of those things but not all in the same day. They were showing that my eating was unhealthy but I did not eat all of those things in a single 24 hour period.
You don't have to keep explaining yourself to anyone Melissa, just look at your little guy who loves you on the inside (even if he can't say it).  Look after yourself Melissa since you are important to that little boy and to this world.  Thank goodness you were brave enough to seek help and didn't end up dead like so many people have before you.  Your little boy would be lost without you.  Take care.
 
May 30, 2007, 5:17 am CDT

You have some valid points

Quote From: shetypes

Every single show has exactly that: Phil and Robin and both voice what works and what does not.  The also are good examples of good parents.  The years many couples was together does nto mean a good marrage either.  many women stayed for their children, financial bondage or for religous belief in sticking by the vows regardless of happiness.  The secret is always basic respect in a relationship of partners in love.  So all the disfunctional families need to learn that?

Why would a happily marreid couple call Dr. Phil for help?

Why would a Doctor have a show to help people if he showed those who do not need help?

Many people who watch the show will never be on it but they can relate, learn and change thier lives through watching it?

'normal healthy folks'  that is rare!

Now more on children will make all our futures better?

 

Every single show has exactly that: Phil and Robin and both voice what works and what does not.  The also are good examples of good parents. 

I am not sure that every single show does show good examples. I may just have missed them, I multi task, so that is a possibility....

 

The years many couples was together does nto mean a good marrage either.  many women stayed for their children, financial bondage or for religous belief in sticking by the vows regardless of happiness. 

I totally agree with you on this. The couples held up as good examples would need to be screened and interviewed extensively to ensure they were a functioning family.

 

The secret is always basic respect in a relationship of partners in love.  So all the disfunctional families need to learn that?

I would love to learn the secrets of many long lasting marriages. There can't be just one or two things that make a marriage work....

 

Why would a happily marreid couple call Dr. Phil for help?

They probably wouldn't.

 

Why would a Doctor have a show to help people if he showed those who do not need help?

Maybe as a way to teach and prevent people from getting 'sick ' in the first place. People don't always go to the doctor  when they are sick, they do go for check ups and preventative medicine.

 

Many people who watch the show will never be on it but they can relate, learn and change thier lives through watching it?

They do every day.

 

'normal healthy folks'  that is rare!

Now here is where we really disagree. I think there are lots of unsung heroes all around us. People who get up every morning and go to work, raise their chidren,  are faithful and loving to their spouses, treat others as they like to be treated, show courtesy, respect, selflessness, take care of the elderly, volunteer, struggle against difficult circumstances, hold their tempers and their tongues, show self control, and are generally 'good people'.  I think America needs to see more of these people. We are not born knowing how to be decent human beings. We have to be taught and shown. Thank God for good parents!

 

 
May 30, 2007, 9:29 am CDT

flattered

Quote From: mom_2crazyboyz

WELFARE IS FOR THE NEEDY NOT THE GREEDY! Melissas job ismore important than any job anyone else could ever have! im so tired of people thinking stay at home moms are lazy welfare mommas. SOME OF US NEED IT! and just for your info, I PAY JUST AS MANY TAXES AS YOU DO! so dont go and say YOUR tax money goes for the needys welfare. SO DOES MINE. try staying at home with your kids once and then go off and call a Stay at home mom lazy. its much easier to go and sit at a desk for 8 hours a day then to stay at home. and i praise every woman that does it because i know its hard. Melissa, your doing a good job and dont let anyone tell you differently!

 

p.s. I have a crush on the older brother, lol

a crush, huh? well i am very flattered. it brightens up the day a lil bit. iv'e had a pretty rough day so far, so that def. puts a smile on me. reply if u want to talk more. always willin to talk to new people.
 
May 30, 2007, 10:53 am CDT

Sensitive and Loving People

What came across, to me, is that even though this family fights hard, they love hard, too. What a bunch of sensitive, loving people. Despite all the fighting and the name-calling, they all have a lot of love to give. Gene is a mush and so are his sons and so is Randy. (Melissa picked Randy, I believe, because he is similar to Gene as far as his level of sensitivity.) For young men to sit around holding each other, crying on each other's shoulders? Those are open, loving people! When Myra was comforting Edwin? That was beautiful! Every child in the world should have a mother that loving and caring! Myra is a GREAT mom, very loving and very open. Even though Melissa fought with Myra, how close were they when they were talking about what Dr. Phil would do for them?! While on one hand they are judgmental, on the other they are helpful and stand together as a family. When the boys were going over their lines....I would never do that in front of my family, I would be too embarrassed! While on the outside it seems all dramatic, loud and condescending, there is also an element of love, trust and acceptance that is completely understood. (The kids are a little emotionally young and in some ways sheltered, but I don't find that to be a crime.) They have lots of issues, but I have never seen a family on Dr. Phil who loved each other as much as these people do. They are very emotional, very sensitive, very dramatic, and fight like cats and dogs, but they are also compassionate, loving, caring and sensitive people toward each other. On some levels they have a closeness that I completely envy.
 
May 30, 2007, 11:08 am CDT

Honda Fits all around?

So if I screw up my life really badly can I have a new car, too? I think buying new cars for Melissa and Myra just because they  finally get a driver's license is a bit much.

 

We drive a rusted-out 18 year-old car with 235,000+ miles on it because we can barely make ends meet with both of us working, but we're trying hard to save up to buy a Honda Fit without having to finance it.  We don't expect anyone to hand us one, especially not if we "mishehave" the way this family has.

 

Let Myra and Melissa earn the money to buy their cars--now THAT would be empowering for those two women.

 
May 30, 2007, 11:35 am CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: kagh03

So if I screw up my life really badly can I have a new car, too? I think buying new cars for Melissa and Myra just because they  finally get a driver's license is a bit much.

 

We drive a rusted-out 18 year-old car with 235,000+ miles on it because we can barely make ends meet with both of us working, but we're trying hard to save up to buy a Honda Fit without having to finance it.  We don't expect anyone to hand us one, especially not if we "mishehave" the way this family has.

 

Let Myra and Melissa earn the money to buy their cars--now THAT would be empowering for those two women.

We did not each recieve a vehicle, the car was to become a family car. The car is going to be my brother Eugene's because he is going off to college and will need his own vehicle. Our lives aren't "screwed up" just off the wall. What you see on the surface isn't all there is, being in a house with all of those cameras would drive anyone crazy.
 
May 30, 2007, 12:40 pm CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: moofoo719

a crush, huh? well i am very flattered. it brightens up the day a lil bit. iv'e had a pretty rough day so far, so that def. puts a smile on me. reply if u want to talk more. always willin to talk to new people.
Im sorry you've had a rough day! hows life now after the show
 
May 30, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

Getting Help

I was unable to watch the last episode with the Family on Fire yesterday, but read Dr.Phil's summary of what's been going on since these shows aired. I hope this family is, indeed, able to get the help they need to function as a family & improve their relationships with one another.

I think the main thing I wonder about is Melissa situation with her "so called" boyfriend, Randy.  I thought immediate when I saw him that she doesn't need that loser in her life....he's just excess baggage hanging on to her.  It didn't appear he was able to add anything at all to her life, or help with her child.  He seemed to be too much of a child himself.  I still think this family will have a long, long, road to recovering from the years of hurt & abuse.

 
First | Prev | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Next | Last