I have seen only the third episode in this series, which I viewed last night, however I have read the summaries of the other episodes and the follow-up.
I am glad Dr. PHil has found ways to help at least Melissa and the boys.
What a Toxic Family!!! Parents that call each other umprintable names and fight like animals and pick on the children and use them as weapons against each other! Sheesh! It would be almost impossible for a child to grow up normal in a family like that!
Last night seemed to be "Pick ON Melissa Night". Now if is my understanding this woman is the one who contacted the show to begin with, searching for help for her parents primarily, as well as the rest of the family. How devastating it must have been for her to find herself attacked on all siades by everyone else in what was an obvious attempt by them to avoid dealing with their own problems. And especially appalling since the parents are pretty much responsible for her problems.
What people aren't understanding is how much anger there is in these people.
Weight is often repressed anger. Depression is an expression of repressed anger. And Melissa is obviously both.
Even her messy house, which was commented on, is a symptom of depression. Melissa is not lazy! She is seriously depressed. And no wonder growing up with those parents!
I don't know how she functions as well as she does, all things considered. I remember the days when I had small children. Housekeeping was almost impossible. If you spent what time you had cleaning one room, the rest of the house got trashed meanwhile. If you tried to do some cleaning in each room, what little you could do was pretty much invisible in the vast wasteland of what you couldn't get done. And having an autistic child to deal with makes it even more difficult than with normal children. I had to work in addition to raising my children, so I know exactly what she is facing. You begin to feel like there is no point to even trying. At least at work you were done at the end of the day. At home there is no end.
Those parents MADE Melissa dysfunctional. For example, when Melissa and her Father were supposed to make dinner, and she was trying to coordinate who was to do what, in walked the Mother and took over, insisting on making potato salad, which nobody else really wanted, and which she insisted nobody but her could make properly. Come ON! It's just potato salad, not a gourmet meal! And every move Melissa made, the Mother denigrated, making her feel, no doubt, as if nothing she did was right. I'd have walked out of the kitchen myself if treated like that, and yes, I'd have stuffed myself with food to keep the anger from exploding and worsening an already bad situation!
Obviously Melissa was treated that way throughout her growing up years, being made to feel dysfunctional even when she wasn't!
It's no mystery as to why she hooked up with a man who was a thief and a liar. Dysfunctional people often hook up with a partner more dysfunctional than themselves in order to feel better about themselves, and to g=feel there is maybe somebody in the world worse off than them, whom they can perhaps help!
Then she gets an autistic child to pile guilt on topo of it all and add to her depression. No, it was not her fault her child was born autistic. However, almost any Mother who has a less-than-perfect child feels guilty about it, as if it was somehow her fault. As if had she done, or not dome, some nebulous something, the child would have been spared its disability.
Her Mother kept saying that her "expectations" for Melissa were much higher than what she has achieved. Well how about Melissa's "expectations" and wishes for her own life? Doesn't she get to have a say? Besides, would any human being eVER have been able to reach the Mother's expectations? Had Melissa achieved something, wouldn't her MOther have then raised her expectations even higher, so that Melissa could never have pleased her?
I know it is hard living far away from one's family. But in this case I think the further from that family she can get, the better,.
Now, Melissa cannot drive. That means she is essentially imprisoned and caged in this day and age. Add the autistic child and it makes it even worse. everyone kept saying she could go for walks. How? You can't go for a walk taking an autistic child with you who could at any moment act up and act out in ways you can't handle. So she is even more home-bound.
I know what not driving is like! I grew up in a time and place where women didn't have to drive. It was a guy thing. And while some women did, it was no disgrace not to. It was considered perfectly normal. Then I ended up in a relatively small town with no public transportation at all, and small children. I was pretty much imprisoned too! I could only walk so far with them, even with strollers and wagons and trycicles and such. *wry grin* And now they are grown and gone, I have developed a seizure disorder to the point the State will not permit me to drive. SoI am dependent on my children to take me places I need to go, and as they have busy lives and families of their own, I hate imposing on them.
So I know what Melissa is going through there. She is pretty much immobilized. And I hope she does manage to learn to drive with the help Dr. Phil is giving her.
I would, however, like to know more of what help is being given to the parents before they destroy the rest of the family, and each other. I have to wonder if they are maybe beyond help.
The boys in that family seem the closest to being able to be normal, functioning people, but perhaps that is merely because in the episode I saw they were not very active or prominent in the family dynamics.
I wish the whole family the best of luck, but I really think what the parents need is a smack upside of the head.
Those kids have a lot of work and evffort ahead of them to get over what the parents have done to them, and to avoid the pitfalls the parents fell into.
After all their hard work, the latest Dr. Phil Family receives some surprises from Dr. Phil! He informs Melissa that everything she needs to get her life back on track is headed her way: a complete health evaluation, personal trainer, nutritionist, and food service delivered to her door. In addition, she’ll receive help for her depression and be connected with a developmental disabilities specialist for her autistic son. But it all comes with a condition: Melissa and Randy need to heal their toxic relationship. Then, a talk with Myra and Gene leads to a tearful apology. And, will a one-on-one with Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, help Myra see that she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect? Will Myra set some standards in her broken marriage? Will there even be a marriage to speak of when they get home? Dr. Phil has some strong words for Gene. Next, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pits brother against brother as Edwin and Eugene audition for a Hollywood talent agent and a casting director. Don’t miss the surprising twist when they get a call from the judges. Then, it’s time to switch gears – literally! Since Myra and Melissa never learned to drive, Dr. Phil sets them up with a driving lesson so they can become more independent. And you won’t believe the prize in store for the women if they pass their driver’s test! Dr. Phil sits down with the entire family one last time. Will they use the tools he gave them to build healthier relationships? Talk about the show here.
