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Topic : 05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

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Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:10:42 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

After all their hard work, the latest Dr. Phil Family receives some surprises from Dr. Phil! He informs Melissa that everything she needs to get her life back on track is headed her way: a complete health evaluation, personal trainer, nutritionist, and food service delivered to her door. In addition, she’ll receive help for her depression and be connected with a developmental disabilities specialist for her autistic son. But it all comes with a condition: Melissa and Randy need to heal their toxic relationship. Then, a talk with Myra and Gene leads to a tearful apology. And, will a one-on-one with Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, help Myra see that she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect? Will Myra set some standards in her broken marriage? Will there even be a marriage to speak of when they get home? Dr. Phil has some strong words for Gene. Next, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pits brother against brother as Edwin and Eugene audition for a Hollywood talent agent and a casting director. Don’t miss the surprising twist when they get a call from the judges. Then, it’s time to switch gears – literally! Since Myra and Melissa never learned to drive, Dr. Phil sets them up with a driving lesson so they can become more independent. And you won’t believe the prize in store for the women if they pass their driver’s test! Dr. Phil sits down with the entire family one last time. Will they use the tools he gave them to build healthier relationships? Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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May 30, 2007, 4:51 pm CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: rr1227

I do not live alone, my boyfriend works very hard to support all of us, not the state. Because he works so hard he was very rarely home thus leaving me day in and day out alone with my son.

Melissa, you are on the road to independence.  You had your child at 17, and you have not had the life experiences of driving, working, and just living the single life of an independent woman.  While I doubt that Randy has been the right guy up until now, maybe things will change with the help from Dr. Phil.  But just know this: whatever happens with him, you need to do everything you can to make YOUR life the best it can be, for yourself and that little boy, and everything after that will be icing on the cake. 

 

As for Dr. Phil saying you can't (or shouldn't) stay in Ohio, I wasn't sure what exactly he meant by that.  Did he mean move home near your family?  I really hope not.  As you are aware, they do not exactly provide the greatest environment.  And shifting your dependence from Randy to them would NOT help you.  Look, I made the move with my husband hundreds of miles away from our families because, while they are good people, they can also breed an environment I would rather stay away from.  I do not like being near the drama, and we hear enough about it through e-mail, telephone calls and family visits to last a lifetime.  You do what you feel and know in your heart is right for you and your child, because you have to live that life, not anyone else.

 
May 30, 2007, 6:32 pm CDT

Edwin please!!!

Quote From: moofoo719

first off not to come off rude, but u dont even know me or what me or my family has gone thru all these years. u live a year in my shoes and then u can understand why i am an emotional wreck. i had a kid at 17 as well as my sis. my parents fought in front of us for as long as i can remember. i was goin to school for musical theater and i had to just throw it all away b/c of other issues concerning my daugher and her mother. that issue wasnt even touched on. let someone hand u an opporunity like that and see how u handle it. it was a shock to me and a blessin. i'm finally back on track with my dream that i'd like to make a career. and then with my sis...i worry about her and i love her. i dont want her to get to the point that she cant walk anywhere. i just try to be there the best way that i can and when i feel like it's out of myhands to help, it makes me upset. i've always been an emotional person. if there's more u would like to know so that u could understand, plz by all means reply back. again i dont mean to come off rude. hope to hear from you.
 I had my son at 18 as well and his father took off never to be heard from again.  Never received a dime in child support and worked two jobs, went to college etc. etc.
It was very hard but if I spent my time sobbing about it, I wouldn't have made a success of my life or been able to give  my now 16 year old son a good life.
All I'm saying is that  we all have our crosses to bear and you have to be strong. You reach a point as an adult where you choose to move past the childhood scars. You have to decide to no longer be a victim.
So stop crying!
 
May 30, 2007, 11:12 pm CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: rr1227

We did not each recieve a vehicle, the car was to become a family car. The car is going to be my brother Eugene's because he is going off to college and will need his own vehicle. Our lives aren't "screwed up" just off the wall. What you see on the surface isn't all there is, being in a house with all of those cameras would drive anyone crazy.
Why does a kid at college need a car more than you do with a baby?  Most colleges don't even permit freshman to have a car. 
Were you not able to learn to drive?  If that's the case, I am sorry to hear it.  It's very hard to work and take care of your child without driving. 
 
May 30, 2007, 11:52 pm CDT

Own up to your responsibilities

This is for Melissa.  There is a lot of I can't do this because of that.  I have no life, because I don't have a job, or a car, or my boyfriend won't take me anywhere.  Can anyone say victim here?  Life is the way that it is because of the choices that we make.  No one else make them for us.  Now if you chose to have unprotected sex and have a child at 17.  That would have been your choice.  Your first choice should have been to not have sex at all.  But since you did choose to have sex, it should have been protected.  Then once you found out that you were pregnant, then there were a whole new set of options.  But no, you chose to keep your baby, and therefore your life is no longer was your own.  Own up to your responsibilities! 

Now there is no guarantee that we are going to get a perfect child no matter how good you were during your pregnancy.  This is not like a marriage.  You can't just decide that this isn't what you signed up for and get a divorce.  Life just sucks sometimes and you just have to deal with it.  Now I can say all of this because I have walked in your shoes, but the difference between you and me, is that I am standing tall.  I have never done the poor me thing.  The moment I found out I was pregnant I grew up.  And that life that was fun and carefree came tumbling down.  I have a 5 year old Autistic son and he is a hand full.  But I have sought out every resource that I can possibly think of to make things better for us.  I also have a 4 year old daughter that has a whole set of special needs of her own.  I work two jobs and managed to put myself through school.  I bought myself a car and am hoping to someday  buy my house.  I am drowning in debt, but I am not going to let that get me down.  I very rarely sleep, so that I can be there for my children's needs.  Because they come first.  It was my choice to bring them into this world and therefore I am responsible! And I take that responsibility seriously.  I don't have time to be depressed, because I can't let them down.  I have to be their example and I am trying to be the best that I can.  

I also know what it is like to be over weight, but that is my current project and in the last 6 months I have lost 15 pounds.  Not a lot, but I am happy with it and I am trying to do it right and healthy. 

Life is just going to pass you by as you continue to play the victim.  It is great that you are seeking help.  But when everything is said and done, will you be able to look in the mirror and love who you see?  And the bigger and better question will be, are you ready to take responsibility?  Own up girl and be the mother that you chose to be.

 
May 31, 2007, 4:43 am CDT

Myra not Mellisa

Quote From: oldybutgoody

I am sorry, but I am tired of hearing Mellisa's drama.  Mellisa you can't have it both ways.  You complain about your husband and the cheating, then why are you still with him.  Either you forgive him and move on or leave him, your kids are not  that young.  I could see you staying for the childrens sake, but that not even the point.  I think you like beening the victim.  Me, me, poor me.  Give me a break, I dont feel sorry for you,  cause you are in this situation cause you want to be.  As a matter of fact I feel bad for your husband, because he has to live like that.  "GET A GRIP"
I got the names mix-up.  I meant Myra not Mellisa, excuse me.
 
May 31, 2007, 6:33 am CDT

great

Quote From: mom_2crazyboyz

Im sorry you've had a rough day! hows life now after the show
things are good. moofoo719@yahoo.com. email me
 
May 31, 2007, 11:22 am CDT

05/29 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 4

Quote From: akmn73

This is for Melissa.  There is a lot of I can't do this because of that.  I have no life, because I don't have a job, or a car, or my boyfriend won't take me anywhere.  Can anyone say victim here?  Life is the way that it is because of the choices that we make.  No one else make them for us.  Now if you chose to have unprotected sex and have a child at 17.  That would have been your choice.  Your first choice should have been to not have sex at all.  But since you did choose to have sex, it should have been protected.  Then once you found out that you were pregnant, then there were a whole new set of options.  But no, you chose to keep your baby, and therefore your life is no longer was your own.  Own up to your responsibilities! 

Now there is no guarantee that we are going to get a perfect child no matter how good you were during your pregnancy.  This is not like a marriage.  You can't just decide that this isn't what you signed up for and get a divorce.  Life just sucks sometimes and you just have to deal with it.  Now I can say all of this because I have walked in your shoes, but the difference between you and me, is that I am standing tall.  I have never done the poor me thing.  The moment I found out I was pregnant I grew up.  And that life that was fun and carefree came tumbling down.  I have a 5 year old Autistic son and he is a hand full.  But I have sought out every resource that I can possibly think of to make things better for us.  I also have a 4 year old daughter that has a whole set of special needs of her own.  I work two jobs and managed to put myself through school.  I bought myself a car and am hoping to someday  buy my house.  I am drowning in debt, but I am not going to let that get me down.  I very rarely sleep, so that I can be there for my children's needs.  Because they come first.  It was my choice to bring them into this world and therefore I am responsible! And I take that responsibility seriously.  I don't have time to be depressed, because I can't let them down.  I have to be their example and I am trying to be the best that I can.  

I also know what it is like to be over weight, but that is my current project and in the last 6 months I have lost 15 pounds.  Not a lot, but I am happy with it and I am trying to do it right and healthy. 

Life is just going to pass you by as you continue to play the victim.  It is great that you are seeking help.  But when everything is said and done, will you be able to look in the mirror and love who you see?  And the bigger and better question will be, are you ready to take responsibility?  Own up girl and be the mother that you chose to be.

You haven't lived my life and therefore are not qualified to make a judgement call on it. I have owned up to my responsibility with my son. If you had read previous posts I have made, you would be aware of that. I am not a victim of anything but my bad choices, it is why I wrote the show. Sometimes life happens and you aren't sure how to fix it. I only have Ryan because I was smart enough to know that he was all that I could handle. It's great that you have accomplished a lot on your own but you shouldn't judge others by your own set of standards. Not all of us have the same opportunities that were available to you.
 
May 31, 2007, 6:38 pm CDT

hey!

Quote From: rr1227

You haven't lived my life and therefore are not qualified to make a judgement call on it. I have owned up to my responsibility with my son. If you had read previous posts I have made, you would be aware of that. I am not a victim of anything but my bad choices, it is why I wrote the show. Sometimes life happens and you aren't sure how to fix it. I only have Ryan because I was smart enough to know that he was all that I could handle. It's great that you have accomplished a lot on your own but you shouldn't judge others by your own set of standards. Not all of us have the same opportunities that were available to you.

Melissa -

 

 

             A child with a disability is a lot to handle. The hardest job in the world is to  be parent even harder when your child has disability or disease. Remeber everyday you look at him that him smiling at you is worth  more than anything you can imagine. -hugs H

 
May 31, 2007, 7:05 pm CDT

Don't Settle for Less

The husbands on the show today were losers, plain & simple.  The couple only married a couple months was pretty sad.  If I was her, I'd cut my losses now & get out...just like Dr.Phil suggested she do, before there's a baby to worry about.  This guy just didn't seem to get it & he has way too much baggage to deal with.  

 

And the first husband, the one with the twin daughters...he was disgusting.  I wouldn't trust him a second.  She may not have had the best morals at one time, but at least she straightened herself out, & now does seem to want a normal marriage & family life for her baby daughters.  I think Dr.Phil might have been right about this guy's "addiction" to sex......the guy has absolutely no self-control and just can't keep it in his pants.  He loses jobs, he loses control, he loses respect.....he's a loser & probably always will be.  His wife & twin daughters deserve better than he can give.

 
May 31, 2007, 8:51 pm CDT

I feel your pain, Melissa

Hi Melissa,

 

I too have a child with autism.  He is six years old.  Dealing with autism can be overwhelming.  I know it has been for me.  My son was almost three when he was diagnosed with autism.  We just recently were able to get him approved for state funded services that provide crucial services that our private insurance would not cover.  Because of this, I am unable to work.  I spend much of my time home caring for my autistic child like you do.  There are many resources available to you and your son, just remember to be persistent and consistent.  Fight for your child's rights, even if you have to take extreme measures like moving back home with your parents.  We had to file bankruptcy.  You do what you have to do in the best intrest of your child.  With Dr. Phil in your corner, you'll be fine.  Autism did take a toll my health though, over the past two years I have had two surgeries, depression, chronic migraines, onset of arthritis, insomnia, anxiety attacks, and I am overweight (more than 20 pounds).  It has also taken a toll on my relationship with my husband too.  It is tough.  We get through it day by day and some days it is minute by minute.  Hang in there, it will get better and there is hope!

 
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