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Topic : 05/30 Ask the Authors

Number of Replies: 235
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Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:13:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil, along with authors Nancy Davis, Mitch Albom and Dr. Dan Siegel, share their secrets for living without regret and finding true happiness even when faced with a challenge. When you get married, it's '’til death do us part, in sickness and in health,’ but what if all of a sudden your spouse is diagnosed with an illness? When Nicole found out she had Multiple Sclerosis, she accepted her fate and learned to adapt. Her husband, Sal, has had a difficult time coming to terms with his younger wife's diagnosis. He says he wants to be supportive and help out, but is he really contributing to Nicole's declining health? Nancy Davis, who also has Multiple Sclerosis, shares her advice for helping this couple heal their marriage. Next, do you find yourself screaming, yelling and cussing with your teenager? Dana says her daughter, Whitney, changed overnight. Her grades went down, she started missing curfew, and she's been caught drinking and smoking. Dr. Dan Siegel shares the secrets for communicating with children and putting an end to the constant fighting. And, chances are you've read one of his nine best-selling books, seen one of his two critically-acclaimed films or tuned into his weekly radio program. Author Mitch Albom discusses his latest novel, For One More Day. Hear the story of a Dr. Phil viewer whose life changed after she read the book. Plus, Dr. Phil gives a previous guest a surprise that makes her already sunny smile shine even brighter! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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May 30, 2007, 1:47 pm CDT

Newly diagnosed with MS

When I started watching the show today, I had no idea they would have a couple on there dealing with MS.  I'm sure it could have been any disease, but when they said Nicole had MS and heard her husbands reaction, I just about started bawling.  I was just diagnosed with MS last month and I could not have a more supporting husband. Yes, he was scared too, but is open to learning all he can with me. When Sal kept saying, "Why us", I kept thinking, 'why not you'. Yes, it is frustrating to deal with, but knowing you have people to support you, helps you out tremendously. I had friends/family calling/emailing me constantly to check on me and that doesn't normally happen. Yes, I am "sick", but I am doing better with the diagnosis than other people are. I choose to take a proactive approach and learn about it and how I can slow down progression or at least feel like I am doing something to fight it.  If you are okay with it, others will react more like you and learn from you. It also helps to have a Dr that will listen and work with you. Thankfully, I was placed with an MS specialist right away. I hope to see more shows on MS to provide more education on the topic.
 
May 30, 2007, 1:48 pm CDT

Finally! A show about me.

OK, not me, but I'm referring to the 1st couple (the wife had MS.)  While I can not know exactly how she feels, I can relate to her situation.  I'm a Type 1 diabetic (dx'ed in 77.)   I have kidney failure, hypertension, hypothyroidism, severe peripheral neuropathy, severe (& inoperable) carpal tunnel, and am legally  blind.  I also sustained a back injury in 2000.   I have little energy/stamina to do anything.  Yet, to look at me, you'd never know otherwise.  I am bombarded all the time over how "healthy" I appear.  I've lost every friend I had, simply b/c I'm no fun to be around.  Can do anything, can't go anywhere.  I'd dump me too, if I weren't myself!

 

If that man wants to help himself & his wife (& I completely can relate to his frustration,) all he needs to do is tell her he acknowledges her suffering, & wishes he could do something to help.  I'd give anything to hear 1 person tell me that.

 
May 30, 2007, 1:50 pm CDT

Wow

Quote From: flrat69

It is good to hear you are so able to cope with your condition and maintain a very positive attitude.  I only ask that you not let that detract from your understanding of others who do not or cannot manage it as well.  I am no authority on MS and claim no distinction there.  I am sure you could teach me a great deal about it that I do not know.

 

What I do know is that most conditions will vary from one person to another.  For example, my sister has Lupus.  So did my mother.  It is far more debilitating for my sister than it was for my mother.

 

You sound like a person of great inner strength.  Unfortunately, that is a gift not given to everyone.  I hope you will use your strength to encourage those who are not as able to cope. 

 

Best wishes.

You seem to be a person of great inner strength and that is to be applauded.  However, MS, along with other diseases, affect each person differently.  It is not fair that you would say it is the "easiest" to deal with.  I am sure that there are people who are worse off then I am, but I also know that I am worse off then some others I know with the disease.  My concern is that you seem angry that her experience is not the same as yours! 
 
May 30, 2007, 1:51 pm CDT

Lean on Me

You gotta love those guys who bail in the face of serious illness...

For 10+ years, my husband suffered with me through weird symptoms of chemical sensitivity.  Mood swings, debilitating fatigue, irritability, and so much more.  He regularly threw himself into the line of fire to protect me from the consequences of my actions when I couldn't control my emotions.  And he never complained or said, "why me".  We always thought he would end up taking care of me as we got older.  But, after 28 years of marriage, he was diagnosed with a huge inoperable brain tumor.  Chemotherapy bought us 2 more years, during which we became even closer.  As his condition deteriorated, his care fell to me alone, 24/7.  Every day I begged God to let me trade places with this man who taught me what true unconditional love means. 

He's been gone 4 years, and I shudder at the thought of having another relationship, because of those men who think it is all about them. 

 
May 30, 2007, 1:52 pm CDT

05/30 Ask the Authors

I was recently assigned two summer projects...one of them being to write a report over "Tuesdays With Morrie."  I wasn't looking forward to it until now!

 

I think I'll get a head start!

 
May 30, 2007, 1:56 pm CDT

There is support!

Quote From: dreamer88sl

I am watching the show right now about MS. I am crieing because I am scared to death my fiance feels the same as her husband. I am only 19 and have a 15 month daughter. I was diagnosed Jan and will start college to become a psychologist this fall. When I watch a show and someone has MS it is seen as a death sentence. I was watching something on MTV and this boy was so mean to his mom cuz she had MS and he didnt want to deal with it and I worry Emma (my daughter) or my future husbad will feel the same. I have had a few flare ups and he is always there but since finding this out he has not been himself, he has even cheated. I feel great most days I try to stay positive ride my horses and play but this MS is always on my mind. I do not know anyone who has this disease or have anyone to relate to. I pray every night God will take this from me and so far it seems I have not been heard. I am too young to stop living.

I am sorry that you have MS, but I just want to encourage you to hang in there.  Multiple Sclerosis is not a death sentence!  Yes, it is life altering, but that is the key...you still have a life, it just has to be adjusted!  Please contact your local MS Society for help.  They can direct you and your family members to local support groups and other resources!  Please do not blame yourself or the MS for the actions of your boyfriend.  There are also online support groups available.  You can access your local MS chapter by calling 1-800-Fight-MS!

 

Alice 

 
May 30, 2007, 2:03 pm CDT

living with MS

Im a 30 yea ar old woman living with MS diagnosed 11/22/05. I have 3 kids under 7. I really believe that a possitive addatude helps. I am one of the lucky ones so far few relapses. MS has no control over me. If I get down about it I turn to God. My husband Is very suportive, he says that it really has not changed me at all and I will do my best not to let it. People need to live their lives as best as they can with what they have. I will pray for the cuple on todays show and hope that they can learn how to live with and love what god has blessed them with. 
 
May 30, 2007, 2:06 pm CDT

FOR ONE MORE DAY . . . .

I grew up without my mother and father; I grew up in an orphanage.  I missed having my mom around to be there for me, and with me.

To each reader, even tho you have heard this many times, take time for your mom.  It is a gift you will give her, and to yourself.

 
May 30, 2007, 2:12 pm CDT

Me too

Quote From: tinalunsford

My husband has severe degenerative bone disease and we are experiencing problems in our marriage. I could totally relate to the couple at the beginning of the show. It has effected our whole family and I find myself feeling depressed and alone. I try to be supportive but there are alot of days when he just doesnt want to try and the more those days add up the harder it is for me. I think alot of our problem is where do we go from here when the doctors dont have answers and the one who is sick feels like giving up. We are in our 30s and have two children to raise. I cant do it all and quite frankly am tired of trying.
I totally understand.  The being "everybody's everything" is really a tough job.  My husband too has an illnes that won't get better.  It's been hard on him to cope and discover what he is capable of doing.  Hang in there- I've been taking it one day at a time and trying not to look too far ahead.  I to know what it's like to be sick & tired of being sick & tired.  Keep praying and looking to God for your strength.  I know I have only been able to cope b/c of Him.  Grace & peace.
 
May 30, 2007, 2:15 pm CDT

Hang in there

Quote From: dreamer88sl

I am watching the show right now about MS. I am crieing because I am scared to death my fiance feels the same as her husband. I am only 19 and have a 15 month daughter. I was diagnosed Jan and will start college to become a psychologist this fall. When I watch a show and someone has MS it is seen as a death sentence. I was watching something on MTV and this boy was so mean to his mom cuz she had MS and he didnt want to deal with it and I worry Emma (my daughter) or my future husbad will feel the same. I have had a few flare ups and he is always there but since finding this out he has not been himself, he has even cheated. I feel great most days I try to stay positive ride my horses and play but this MS is always on my mind. I do not know anyone who has this disease or have anyone to relate to. I pray every night God will take this from me and so far it seems I have not been heard. I am too young to stop living.

I wish I could give you a hug and wipe away the tears.  MS is not a life sentence.  MS has changed my life considerably.....spiritually, emotionally, physically (all for the better!) and also financially ( not so better).  I want you to know, for me, anyone out there who would use an excuse like a sickness to cheat on someone is obviously not the person you should waste anytime over.

 

As far as the husband today who said, "I did not sign up for this", what about vows???  I say let those who have no supportive nature or understanding or strength to get out of my way.

 

Dennis

 
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