Topic : 05/30 Ask the Authors

Is there a book out there for an adult who has just been diagnosed with left temoporal lobe epilepsy?

I was an active trial and appellate court lawyer for 18 years. Two years ago, I suddenly seemed to lose my mind and was placed on disability because I could no longer do my job as a case law editor (an analytical job that I had been doing for the prior 4+ years). A neurologist diagnosed clinical depression and prescribed Lexapro. Subsequent neuropsych tests indicated cognitive impairment and a significant deficit in executive functioning.  I spent the next two years in what seemed to be a constant drug-induced snowstorm. I could neither work nor participate in any meaningful social activities--including shopping or lunch with the girls. Essentially, I was house-bound for the most part of those two years. 

This past Thanksgiving, a new neurologist ordered new tests, including an EEG, which indicated temporal lobe epilepsy. I am now off the depression drugs and am seeing some progress from the epilepsy drugs. My ability to perform analytical tasks or engage in conversations is still less than it had been. I have some lingering impulse control issues (especially when it comes to eating), and physical and mental fatigue is very much an issue that affects my ability to function.  I don't feel alert enough to feel safe when driving, so I don't drive anymore. (My ability to write this might seem to indicate that I am now doing OK, but it took me a long time, and several cut-and-pastes, to compose these paragraphs.)

Although there are lots of resources for parents whose kids have seizures, I've found very little on what to expect as a newly-diagnosed adult.  I wonder if my current mental condition is as good as I will get and if I should expect to need continued help with housecleaning, grocery shopping, and transportation.

 I feel bad for the young lady with MS.

Her husband needs to be kicked really hard in the head. I just can't belive he feels, he got shorted.  I was remarried in 1997 and in 2000  I suffer a C-Spine injury. When I met my now Husband I was working 3 jobs and raising my 3 childern on my own. My husband and I use to do all kinds of outside activites with our children and all of a sudden that was taken away from all of us.  But I had /have so much support from my Husband and  Children and other family. I'm so Blessed  to have a very supportive Husband and Childern. I do my best on a daily basis to let him and the children know just how much there loved and apperciated by me. It would have been so easy for him to walk away after all he married a women with 3 children and he only had 1 and now she is totally disabled and what do we do with all our hopes and dreams, hold on to them and just go a little slower.

Many Blessings to you and from this day forward you are on my prayer list.

Hi Becky,

I would be very interested in "Understanding What Having MS Means".  I am a 40 year old woman (just), and was diagnosed with MS in February 2007.  I struggled with the diagnosis for the first couple of months, but have come to realize that it is my life, and I can not let it control me.  Still however have the odd day where it almost takes my breath away with the thought of the unknown.  I am also finding it very hard to explain to everyone in my life how tired I am some days, before I even get out of bed in the morning.  As well how strange my entire body can feel some days.  But I will keep on fighting.

Thanks for any info you could share

Wanda

Today's show brought out quite a bit of emotion for me.  My mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1977, when I was 8 years old.  Now the show did not depict my life as I was her son, but the new diagnosis certainly did affect my familys' lives.  She was a very brave woman and fought to keep her family first in her life, even above her own health.  Her husband, my father, passed away in 1991....her spiral began in 1996.  She had the type of MS that had slow progression.  By 1997, she required full care in a nursing facility.  We finally made her comfort care in 2004 after a significant decline in her health, and she soon passed thereafter.  I took for granted the fact that my mother was always around, even though she progressed to the need for full care in a nursing facility.  I pursured my dream career and reached those goals.  However, it all came to a head when the decision was made to withdraw support and make her comfortable.  It was and still is a very difficult topic for me.  I was able to oversee her comfort care ( with hospice) with my nursing background.  And when I knew that she was ultimately comfortable, I fnally left her to go back home 3 hours away only to come back the next day to stay with her.  It was that night after I left that she passed away to be with my father. 

It was only fitting that the end of the show dealt with issues of wanting to spend time with ones own mother, as written by Mitch Albom. His book is exactly the way I feel.  I felt that I took for granted the time I had with my mother.  And now, I want her here more than ever, especially since I got married a year later. If only I could spend more time with her, I could show her how much I loved her.  But Mr. Albom is right.....it's the time when she was alive that those opportunities existed.

So....as you can see, this show was particularly difficult for me to watch.....while the show itself was great, it brought out significant emotion for me in remembering my mother and her fight against multiple sclerosis.

Brian 

I'm the 13 year old son of Kallisa715 and i think it sucks to think my mom has ms. I wake up and go to school and worry about my mom everyday when she does all this work and run errands.

I've seen her get tired and when she takes her shots i feel the pain she goes through. I hope they find a cure for ms and give it to every ms disease holder in the world.

You are both lucky to have one another.

My inlaws (May they rest in peace ) were so much like that, as are my parents (though I am grateful my parents still have their health).

I remember my MIL getting ill and having surgery after surgery (we used to joke with her, "tell them to put in a zipper " she thought it was funny and laughter is the best medecine ), my FIL had to learn what he grew up with as Women's work (I remember how much of a mystery the washing machine was for him with a grin ), and how he would grumble about the " Damn vacuum cleaner being put in the back of the closet ".  When he got frustrated, we listened and pitched in.

He lost his license due to degenerative eye disease caused by diabetes, so it was up to us to drive them everywhere, that almost devestated him, he felt as though some of his independence had been taken from him.

He held her hand when she died, he pined away for another five years, officially, the Cause of Death, was Septic Shock, but I belive that it was a broken heart, he lost his will to live and nothing we did, or said made one bit of difference to him.  By the time he passed, he had both legs amputated, kidney disease, legally blind and severe heart disease, but it was an infected bedsore that finally did it.

I don't give up esily, its ironic though, just this afternoon, my husband was in a car acident, not serious, and he's home but sore ( that'll teach him to take on a dump truck, like I said I can be flip now, but on my way to the hospital, it was panic mode), and he's resting, I promised the doctor I would tie him down if I had to, but you know what, he'd do the same for me.

And you know, I'm sure you and your wife have some amusing moments helping one another, I hope you can laugh, and enjoy your lives after all we only get one trip through, and we can chose to live or be bitter about what we've been dealt.

I watched the segment on spouses & chronic illness with great interest today. It's a subject that I know very well. After 15 years of marriage, a very successful career and the births of my two fabulous children, my world was turned upside down when my husband made it clear that he felt it was a waste of his money & family resources (although I worked full time throughout the marriage and all medical costs were covered by our excellent insurance) that I was trying to find the best possible medical care for my illness rather than resign myself to being in a wheelchair within just a few years. After considering that he took his all-time favorite dog out and shot it when it began to age enough that it would soon be unable to go hunting with him any longer, it hit me that my husband had the same attitude about me when I was becoming "useless" to him. I gave him a full year to retract his statement that I was wasting his resources, asking him point-blank for the retraction in lieu of divorce, but he stuck to his original statement every time. I left him 12 years ago and certainly do not regret doing so, aside from what my kids went through.

Although my life is considerably harder now financially (I retired on Social Security disability) and my medical issues have continued to be difficult, my life is far richer now than it could possibly have been if I had stayed with a husband who had so little regard for my health & happiness. I'm living life the way I want to live it (within my physical & financial limitations, of course) and it feels great. Yes, I'm still single & don't really expect that to change, but I'm also okay with that aspect of my new life. I'll turn 49 in a few months and in many ways life has never been better. Oh yes: and I'm still not in a wheelchair, so I'm pretty sure I made the right choices for my health!

My point: If you find yourself in a similar situation & there is no hope that your spouse will ever honor the "in sickness or in health" part of your wedding vows, I don't advocate staying in the marriage at all costs. The costs will undoubtedly include your health getting worse, and I'm living proof that life can be great even after divorce in a situation like that. You can find a way to live life on your own terms and be very happy doing so.