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Topic : 05/30 Ask the Authors

Number of Replies: 235
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, May 25, 2007, 01:13:05 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil, along with authors Nancy Davis, Mitch Albom and Dr. Dan Siegel, share their secrets for living without regret and finding true happiness even when faced with a challenge. When you get married, it's '’til death do us part, in sickness and in health,’ but what if all of a sudden your spouse is diagnosed with an illness? When Nicole found out she had Multiple Sclerosis, she accepted her fate and learned to adapt. Her husband, Sal, has had a difficult time coming to terms with his younger wife's diagnosis. He says he wants to be supportive and help out, but is he really contributing to Nicole's declining health? Nancy Davis, who also has Multiple Sclerosis, shares her advice for helping this couple heal their marriage. Next, do you find yourself screaming, yelling and cussing with your teenager? Dana says her daughter, Whitney, changed overnight. Her grades went down, she started missing curfew, and she's been caught drinking and smoking. Dr. Dan Siegel shares the secrets for communicating with children and putting an end to the constant fighting. And, chances are you've read one of his nine best-selling books, seen one of his two critically-acclaimed films or tuned into his weekly radio program. Author Mitch Albom discusses his latest novel, For One More Day. Hear the story of a Dr. Phil viewer whose life changed after she read the book. Plus, Dr. Phil gives a previous guest a surprise that makes her already sunny smile shine even brighter! Talk about the show here.


Find out what happened on the show.

 

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June 4, 2007, 9:11 am CDT

Medical ID Card

It was good to see Nancy Davis back on your show. I have MS for the past few years now and I seen Nancy on your show a year ago. She talked about her book Lean on Me and her Medical ID Card. It was very inspirational to listen to her talk about how you need to take charge of your life.  I read her book and it made a difference in how I look at life. I also joined her Very Necessary Medical ID Card service for myself and my family. About six months ago I just collapsed in the mall and I was taken to the hospital. I was by myself and out of it. The emergency responces team seen that I belonged to a medical ID card service. By looking at the card they were able to see what medical condition I had.  Who was my emergency contact, which they called and other medical information which I believe helped me get  much fast and proper treatment at the hospital. the information Nancy offers in her book and using her Medical ID Card service is good for anyone that has an illness like mine or not. I look forward on see Nancy on your show again.
 
June 4, 2007, 10:20 am CDT

I agree with Nancy Davis

I was diagnosed with arthritis when I was 17.  At that I was unable to barely walk let alone do any other type of activity because the pain and stiffness was so bad.  But even though my Rheumatologist was discouraging I had a great Physical Medicine doctor that kept telling me that he was going to do everything in his power to help relieve my pain so that I could return to my normal activities....Tae Bo and attending school were my top priorities at the time.  After succumbing to my illness and gaining 35 pounds I finally decided to give exercise I try...after all I couldn't hurt myself any worse than I already was.  I had received a few rounds of Cortisone shots that helped relieve some of the pain but not all of it.  After a while I realized that exercise actually helped relieve my pain and it helped me loose the weight I had gained.  Four years later I am still working out 3-4 times per week....I have realized that I will have some pain everyday for the rest of my life but that does not stop me from doing what I want to...I have learned to deal with it and move on.  My doctor has finally realized that I am a severe case and has changed is attitude towards me completely.  At my last check up he stated that if it was not for the pain I experience on a daily basis and the extreme pain I experience with weather changes and the proof on the my MRI of my deteriorated joints he would not be able to diagnose me with arthritis because I pass the flexibility tests and the measure of my spine is now normal.  People need to stay active even when diagnosed with a debilitating disease...its amazing what the body is capable of doing.  I encourage people to never give up or give in to a disease...if you wish to do something about it...even though doctors tell you something different...it might be worth it because medicine is not an exact science after all. 
 
June 4, 2007, 1:32 pm CDT

give it time

Quote From: moonieg1971

So hello everyone, I am new to this message board, so please forgive me..

 

The reason for my post today is that today marks the TWO week anniversary of my father's death. His death was unexpected and quick. From the time he left his house, to the time of his death was 9 hours. He was in California and I live in Virginia to say the least I felt completely helpless and guilty. I talked to him the day before and keep replaying the conversation in my head looking for anything to hold on to. I dont know how to deal with this. Im guilty, sad, depressed and hopeless. My dad is my best friend and the thought of never talking to him again is horrible. It seems to me like everyone else has "moved" on, and I just feel like I can never get over this.

 

I think I needed to voice this as I feel like no one else will understand.

Thanks for listening and peace to all.

am sure you' ve heard this many times before.   but take it from someone who knows and understands. ' give it a bit more time'  your grief is brand new and still very fresh. i was only 14 when i lost my papa, he was everything to me.  don't  feel you have to folow everyone with moving on too quickly. take your time, at the same time do not let yourself be consumed by your lost. as you go along, remember what your dad meant to you. hold on to the  love that the two of you shared. am pretty sure he would not want to see you depress and hopeless. while you may never get over loosing your dad,and find it impossible to smile now, that's okay.  however don't be surprise as time goes on, when you catch yourself with a smile on your face, when you think back to one of those conversation you had with him.   am 44 now and i still miss my papa. i miss following him around (me and the dog). i miss his gentle ways and his tenderness. most of all i miss the opportunity to show him what it meant for me to have him as a father. but he's in my heart everyday . he  has a special place that no one else can take, as he was the only one who allowed me to be a child.   i never truly got over loosing him; but after i had time to grieve,  i became thankfull for the time i had with him and for the gift of a childhood. and now i only think of him with gladness.

                                  so be patient, and pray,  i promise you, it will get better. 

                                                                                                                                 yoli.

 
June 4, 2007, 9:14 pm CDT

Glad you wrote!

Quote From: sas489

This is Sal from the show on Wednesday,

 

   I just wanted to let everyone know how overwhelmed I am by the response to our segment. What was said and viewed on the show does not scratch the surface of my wife and I's relationship and commitment to each other. I cherish my wife and children and in no way meant "I didn't sign on for this" to mean I would consider abandoning them. I am just scared to death at what we might possibly have to face in the future. My wife is alot further along in the adjustment to her disease than I am, and I do still have the "why us" mentality at times. My wife is one of the strongest and selfless people I have ever met, and I know that if a positive attitude can stay the progression of her MS, she will be fine. I just pray to God to give me the strength and serenity to handle our life if this is not the case.

   If our putting ourselves out there for you to see has helped anyone at all, our goal has been accoplished. May God Bless you all.

 

Sal

 Sal,

I was glad to see this reply - I had a feeling that the editorial nature of television may have "missed" your intention and the way some (like me) may have percieved it on the show. Either way - it got me thinking.

I can sure understand that you feel "scared to death at what we might possibly have to face in the future". I hope that you will avail yourself of all the resources you possibly can, to help yourself and your family thru this journey.

I believe that the first thing is to get people talking about it, sharing experience and ideas so that they will come to understand that they are not alone. You have certainly accomplished that by "putting ourselves out there" and I believe that in doing so, you have opened a dialogue, thru this forum (and via the show of course) that can only help people to understand and learn more about MS and how it affects not just the person diagnosed - but all those who love and care for them. That is a huge achievement. It is too late to change the course of my family's experience with MS and to be sure, it was a sad one. It is not too late to change the course for others and I am grateful that you and your wife took the plunge and opened up to share your experiences with the Dr.Phil show.

I wish ALL the BEST, for you and your family.



 
June 5, 2007, 12:09 pm CDT

DISTRESSED

I WAS JUST WATCHING YOUR SHOW FROM LAST WEEK AND AT THE SAME TIME MY MOTHER'S SERVICE WAS TAKING PLACE AND I COULD NOT GO.  IT'S NOT THAT I DIDN'T HAVE A WAY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.....I JUST COULDN'T PHYSICALLY MAKE MY SELF GO.  SHE PASSED AWAY ON THE 30TH OF MAY AND I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO MOVE AWAY FROM MY HOUSE SINCE.  MY SISTER AND I ARE THE ONLY TWO LEFT OF THE ORIGINAL FAMILY AND I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP HER BUT I WAS JUST, I GUESS THE ONLY WAY I CAN EXPLAIN IT IS, PARALYZED.  I AM SOOO MAD AT MYSELF FOR DEALING WITH THIS THIS WAY!!!  I SURE HOPE I SNAP OUT OF THIS STATE OF MIND SOON BEFORE I ALIENATE THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT IN MY LIFE THAT I TRULY DO LOVE AND CARE ABOUT.  I DON'T KNOW ANYONE ELSE THAT HANDLES THESE SITUATIONS THIS WAY.  I HAVE BEEN THIS WAY EVER SINCE I CAN REMEMBER.  I COULD NEVER GO TO A FUNERAL OR VIEWING OR ANYTHING THAT HAD TO DO WITH IT.   WHEN MY FATHER DIED IN '92 I HAD TO GET SOOO DRUNK SO I COULD GO.  SAME WITH MY BROTHER.  BUT NOW I DON'T DRINK AND I COULD NOT GET IT TOGETHER EVEN FOR MY OWN MOTHER, WHO WAS THE BEST MOTHER AND FRIEND I EVER COULD HAVE ASKED FOR.   I KNOW MY MOTHER FORGIVES ME FOR NOT BEING THERE PHYSICALLY BECAUSE SHE KNEW HOW I GOT WHEN IT CAME TO "THIS" SUBJECT.  BUT, I, ON THE OTHER HAND WOULD LIKE TO CRAWL IN A HOLE BUT I REALLY DO KNOW THAT THAT IS THE COWARDS WAY OUT BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.  AND "NO" I WILL NOT START DRINKING AGAIN TO DEAL.  I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I CAN DO.  I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL OR WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN THIS HAPPENS.  WHEN I TRY THEY DON'T GET IT AND I REALLY DON'T EITHER.  AS YOU CAN TELL I AM A RAMBLER BUT THAT IS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GETTING MY POINT, FEELING, OR WHATEVER IT IS ACROSS.  I'M GONNA STOP NOW CAUSE MY THROAT IS BEGINNING TO CLOSE UP AGAIN AND I HAVE TO CONCENTRATE (OR NOT) ON SOMETHING THAT IS NOT GONNA MAKE ME NUMB ALL OVER.

SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE. 

 
June 6, 2007, 8:53 am CDT

Nancy Davis

Hi, my Mom has MS and I think Nancy's book is so enlightening and her medical ID card is so important to have. Along with MS, my mother also has many allergies. How can I receive more information on her Medical ID card? Having this card, would give me such a sense of relief knowing that if anything happens to her the doctors would know what her condition is. I think it's a great idea to have a card like this for the whole family whether they have an illness or not.
 
June 6, 2007, 11:49 am CDT

It could be worse

Wow, I guess I didn't realize having MS was such a big deal.

 

I was diagnosed a year ago (at 39) and I was so relieved. I was worried I had ALS. My toes had been numb for about a year and I fell down a lot. I was scared it was ALS so I never went to to the Dr. Then when the right side of my face went numb, I finally went.  I cried with RELIEF when I was told it was MS. I take shots every other day (so what, diabetics have a shot every day). I was told I may have walking problems in about 20 years (so what, vets are coming home from Iraq with no legs). It is what it is and you have to move on. Its a controllable disease, not a life ending one. I always keep in mind "It could be worse". It could be ALS!!

 

 
June 6, 2007, 4:15 pm CDT

Write a Letter

I saw the "ask the authors" show today which is a rerun in the afternoon.  I have not het read the book "One More Day", but I have a suggestion that worked for me.  Two years ago my mom got really sick and the doctor's were not sure they could save her.  She is still with us but is on oxygen 24/7.  I have never been a fan of funerals.  I have always felt that people come that may not have seen the deceased person for a very long time and say all kinds of nice things.  My solution was to write a letter to my mom telling her all the things I might never have said or gotten the chance to say if we had not been given the wake up call.  I wanted my mom to hear all of the nice things that I knew would be said about her while she was still alive.  I contiually revise my letter with more things that I think of.  I gave the letter to my mom to read and will give her a revised copy soon.  I would strongly suggest that everyone consider writing a letter.
 
June 8, 2007, 12:10 pm CDT

MS isnt the same for everyone

Quote From: orleander

Wow, I guess I didn't realize having MS was such a big deal.

 

I was diagnosed a year ago (at 39) and I was so relieved. I was worried I had ALS. My toes had been numb for about a year and I fell down a lot. I was scared it was ALS so I never went to to the Dr. Then when the right side of my face went numb, I finally went.  I cried with RELIEF when I was told it was MS. I take shots every other day (so what, diabetics have a shot every day). I was told I may have walking problems in about 20 years (so what, vets are coming home from Iraq with no legs). It is what it is and you have to move on. Its a controllable disease, not a life ending one. I always keep in mind "It could be worse". It could be ALS!!

 

 I am happy you are doing so well BUT remember ms is different for everyone. I have only been diagnosed for 2 yrs and I am already in a wheel chair. I have progressive MS so it is much worse then relaping remitting. I pray that your MS doesnt progress, but you never know. Your right ALS would be much worse, but for many of us our MS is so bad, there is nothing worse at the moment. Yes it can be controlled if you have a controlable type ms, but for many of us with progressive and have done chemo and other things, there is NOTHING out there to control it right now.
 
June 9, 2007, 12:59 pm CDT

MS

I have had MS for 7 years, I have two children. I have been unable to walk or use my right arm in 2003, then doctor put me in the hospital for the high dose of IV treament then rehab. I was there for 31 days, which I only seen my husband only 3 times the whole time. All though he was working alot of overtime, but he could still come to see me it was only 40 minutes away from our house. But he didn't he want to his sisters house swimming having a good old time. I call him all the time, but he hardly called me.  One time he came to the hospital to see me on a Sunday afternoon, but didn't stay long. I was calling the nurse to put me in the wheel chair, so we could go outside to talk and enjoy the outside fresh breath. But, has soon has I got in it he told me I was showing out and wanting attention. So Has soon I want out of the door in took a right turn and he took a left turn to go home. It made me so upset, I was crying looking out of the door. Then I looked up in notice that 2 sets of my aunt and uncle and grandmother was coming up the sidewalk to see me, then I relized that I have my other family. My parents come everyday to see me and brought my children, but my mother work everyday in still come to see me. Still today he doesn't relized that I get so tried and emotional. I had to quit my job 2years from this July, because I couldn't handle doing all of the house work and working 12 to 14 hours a day at work. The doctor put me on disablilty. Now I have to do more house work because everybody quit pulling their share. I just pray everyday to get me though this day and to help my marriage. I stay in pain and got to take Hydrocodene. My husband saids that I'm a druggy in front of my children all the time, I don't think taking a pill a day is a drug person neither. Anyway just hang in there it will get better for MS patient soon hopefully.

 
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