I have been dealing with my very special son for 19 yrs. He is brilliant taught himself to read at 4 yrs. Was put in special ed in 1st grade, medicated and labeled in the retard class. He is one of the lost children. The children that are seperated from the population, due to their behavior, given little academic challenges, verbally abused, emotionally scarred, prepered to be institutionalized. Their self-esteem destroyed as a result. They have very little success in their day. Constant chaos in the class. They become the worst of the worst. They learn no social skills. They see kids flip the desk when mad and cuss out the teacher. They are contained for the day then sent home with a written log of everything they did wrong that day, I called it the "bad boy book" I advocated for my son like no other.
I continually requested a one-on-one person for his behavior and to tutor him in a regular class. I was denied access myself because I made the students and the teachers be on their best behavior. He ended up every 6 months changing classes or schools to " the least restrictive setting to meet his needs" We went to day treatment and eventually residential. Every step of the way causing him more and more damage, labeling him as the problem, and preparring him to be institutionalized. I let him quit school in the 10th grade when his attendance was 28 days present and 48 days absent but the report card grades were 5 D's, a passing grade. How can you get all D's when you are absent more days than you attended??
I realized they were pushing him through to throw him out into the world at 18 with a diploma and no skills to support it. Tell him have a nice life and don't use drugs or alcohol to ease your fear and pain. He is a tortured soul, and asked me when he was 10yrs. crying " if you knew my life would be like this, would you have had me?" My eyes filled with tears and he knew the answer, NO I would not have had him to suffer with this pain and the special education system of CALIFORNIA, all the rejection and abandonment he has endured. The kid not invited to a birthday party, the kid other kids can't play with because of his ADHD behavior. He has severe anxiety that has him tormented with worries of global warming and natural disasters. He has ADHD that causes him just as many problems at 19 yrs as it did at 9 yrs. Bi-polar disorder with huge swings of rage and breaking things struggles daily to keep from blowing up and drawing attention to himself as an "insane" person. Fears being arrested daily. His anxiety causes him OCD problems when he gets stressed out. He has no inner peace and no sense of satisfaction, no feeling of self- worth. He says the world did not carve out a place for someone like him. He wishes he were autistic people would at least be empathetic, instead of judging him and me as a bad mother for his problems that they dont understand the complexity of. Medications cause such side effects that they told me he had tourettes, but it was just medication interactions and a sensitive kid.
Do not allow the school to sacrifice your child so the rest can thrive. Our children deserve the same quality of education, a high I.Q. comes along with many of these disabilities. Keep your child in a regular class. Create the environment your special child can thrive in. Do not let them become one of the lost children, when they are adults and end up behind bars you wil be doing time with them. How I wish I knew then what I know now. I am going to school to become a special education high school teacher. I can love any ADHD child like my own, maybe I can change the path they are headed down and re-direct them to find some success just as they are about to be thrown out into the world.
