Topic : Bipolar Disorder

I am 43 years old married women living with schizco affective disorder. I went to see 2 doctor within a week. The last doctor told me he would be everything he could to help relieve some of my stress and anxiety. Each day I woke up wondering how my day will be. I am tired of the since of feeling so depressed and I am waiting for some emotional relief. When I become depressed I have a hard time expressing my feelings to my husband and family. I just want this feeling of heavy weigh lifted off my shoulders. I try to stay busy but I become tired which makes it hard to be at my best.  I have been fired from a variety of jobs. They tell me I don't seem interested in my job and the people around me don't like working with me. I thought I was being nice to everyone at my last job. Everything went from like my job and looking forward to going and experiencing a good day. I felt hurt and confuse how people could say such things about me. I am a good person but I have my good and bad days.  I am taking my meds as prescribed but how do I go from depressed to having some good days. I talked weekly with a therapist and caseworker about my feelings. My husband is an alcoholic which he doesn't feel he has a problem. I  know I shouldn't let his moods effect mine but they do.  I'm sorry I didn't mean to go on and on about myself. How can I start feeling better and experience a more fullflling life. Thanks for listening  

Hang in there....my husband had to suffer along with me for almosy 10 years, but I am now in remission. Get the best psychiatrist you can, the best therapist, and try to get him to join a support group like DBSA (Depression ans Bipolar Support Alliance). All of the members have a mood disorder, and it helps so much to realize you are not alone. My husband attended with me for almost three years. 

I also have bipolar in my family...it is a genetic illness. Also, if one med works well for someone in the family, it may work well for another. I'm not so sure about the head injury, but it could contribute to some of his symptoms. 

I wish you the best. 

Hey out there.  I'm in a frustrated state and decided to write.  I'm okay, as in not depressed,but its like I have a lot of issues.  Can't stop thinking about some things....Feel like I won't succeed at anything ever again..not long term anyhow.  I know I don't have much confidence,but I'm frustrated.  I remember when I was younger and I could do anything..without worrying.  But as I went into my teens life got so hard..and it shouldn't have been..My dad tried to tell me when I was about 19 that I need to get help, but back then I didn't have a clue what he was talking about.  Even though my world was upside down.  It was so much that at one point I thought that I couldn't function unless everything was in the air.  Of coarse that never ever worked so I spent a lot of years in termoil and depression...and my self esteme disintigrated.  Now I'm a mom and I find I have to fight every day, to put on a smile for my kids and my husband....and whoever else is around.  I still have days where I want to just lock myself in my room and ignore evrything around me...So I have all this negative, but I'm really doing betterish.  I'm awake and HERE for 98% of the day...I'm forcing myself to do things,anything to keep me going.  I used to not be able to stop,was always busy.  I had to be because if I stoppped I would fall asleep.  I never knew what that was all about...But now I'm starting to be the same way,,,,keeping busy..I still need to accomplish more during the day, but I'm better like this.  So I can't explain to anyone that things are good, yet I feel unsatisfied,and always dissapointed in myself and most of the time I'm still fighting every day....No one around me knows what its like to have to fight ever day...Sometimes I get tired of it.  But if I stop its like I sink to the bottom, and it just takes sooo much to get back up again....I'm sure people here know what I'm talking about.  I just needed to put some feelings in writing.  Thanks for listening to me...Catrina 

I am sorry that you must battle this every day...please join a support group like DBSA. They can offer so much. 

Again, I said that I felt violence with this disorder is not the norm, or in the majority of cases. You may just be one of the cases in the minority. No matter what, keep fighting this illness by doing all you can to help yourself, and that, in turn, will help your family. 

I wish you all the best. 

 I have an eight year old son who is bipolar.  He is one of my four children, and it seems help is very difficult to find.  It seems that treatment is never gonna be successful.  Though we have had both a psychiatrist and a therapist working togather over the last almost 4 years it is still overwhelming at times. I do know that with my son it took I think 9 different trails of medication and 2 inpatient hospitalizations.  If your interested in talking let me know.  I dont know of the miracle cure nor do I much believe that one exisit.  However I do understand what you are going through. Take care 

I have had this disorder my whole life but was officially diagnosed one year ago.  I have been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist for 10 months now and have been on many medications.  My most recent "cocktail" being respirdal, wellbutrin, epivale, rameron and colanzepam.  I gained 30 pounds and was not at all happy about it.  I stopped taking the respirdal, wellbutrin and rameron as I thought I was doing better.  I have come to the realization that this was not a good idea.  I am spiralling back down again but am still on the fence about re-introducing those medications.  Logically I know I should but I am very confused about it.  My doctor's still think I am taking the meds as I haven't the spine to tell them I stopped.   

My whole life I knew there was something "different" about me but I never knew what.  I have the typical highs and lows of bipolar coupled with obsessive compulsive disorder and some characteristics of borderline personlity disorder.  I am so very tired of being this way.  All I want is to be normal and I don't want to have to take medication to achieve this.  I just want to be like the people around me and I don't understand what I did wrong to deserve this??  My sister is also bipolar and possibly my parents although they have never been officially diagnosed.  It seems as though I was doomed from the get go.  My relationship with my boyfriend of 12 years has been an extremely rocky one.  Since I have been receiving treatment though he has been right at my side and very supportive.  I just told him last night after watching Dr.Phil that I had stopped taking some of my medication.  He was not very pleased. 

I feel like I am at a fork in the road when it comes to medication.  I know I should take it but does it really help me?  Do I really want to continue being a guinea pig so to speak when it comes to meds?  I don't know I am confused.  Any thoughts?  I would appreciate it..... 

Confused in Canada