Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Hi there, 

  

There are a number of us that post on the board and people with children like you.  Similar struggles and challenges.  We share our stories in hopes to help another.  I hope you stick around and share with all of us...as there are quite a few parents...that really have good ideas on how to cope with their situations. 

  

Look forward to chatting with you 

Rhonda 

Hi there 

  

I hope you do become a regular you have so much to share.  By sharing it also is a step in the right direction to healing and becoming healthier.  You talk about your mind never stopping and feeling like a merry go round...I totally relate to that.  I asked questions and was told to tell my doctor.  I described how I felt on paper and when I saw her next she added a new prescription...even though I am still not at the full dose (gradual buildup) I am feeling changes.  I am also feeling healthier. 

  

I am separated (need to get that divorce final)...but, I have a boyfriend of six weeks.  I am not sharing this information with him...I hid all my medicine out of my medicine cabinet (just in case he looks in there).  I don't know if this relationship will amount to anything...but I know he is starting to really like me.  Especially, when he tells me he thinks of me and wants me to think about him (I feel like a silly teenager..lol).  But, if I tell him...I just know he'll run the other way.  But, I guess if it gets to that point...do I really have to tell (hey Mensan...are you reading this post...what do you think?) 

  

Chat with you later 

Rhonda 

today was alittle overwhelming!!!! i sometimes feel like I have soooo many obstacles to overcome!  I have a serious illness and have finally admitted to it(which was half the battle for me). I really am a good person and am trying my hardest to stop the impulsive behaviors. I sometimes wonder if I am on the right meds? My husband has a hard time with the whole mental illness thing! I dont feel like he wants to understand any aspect of it!!!! Do any of you ever feel so alone? Any suggestions on how to get my husband to want to understand my illness. He grew up in a family of abuse and feelings were never communicated!!! I was molested as a child and even that it a taboo conversation for him! I hope this doesnt sound like all I do is complain because there alot of really good aspects of my life. I have 4 beautiful kids ages 8,6,4,and,1. I am a very good mom and my kids are my saving grace!!!! I love my husband but sometimes wonder if being on my own would be easier because I could then begin to heal????? 

thanks for writing me back yes I am bipolar and my doctor is putting me on diabilaty, my husband and I talked yesterday and alls we came down to was I was going to have to start changing my attitude and being more apprecietive of him. If not the marriage was over I told him it wasn't going to happen over night so asked him to give me some time so then he packed a few things and left. When he left he wanted to kiss me but I just couldn't I just turned my face I was angry it was all about me, I did not think it was fair I didn't think the conversation got anywhere. Thats why when he left I felt not empty but almost relieved. I didn't have to worry about him comng home from work tending to his needs if he was going to be in a mood, see but all he mentioned in our conversation was all the bad things. He did not mention when he would come home his favorite supper was ready or how if  he was to tired I woukd just leave him alone, no it was a one way converstion and I think after these few days I'm just going to end up resenting im, and I think it's going to be over. Because last night in bed I really did not miss him. I honestly don't know what I feel .write back soon I am awake

I have to say I am new to this board . I say you should tell your boyfriend because I think if he trully cares he will support you no matter what!!!!! It is part of the person you are. I tried to hide at first but I found it stressed me out more than anything!!!!! My husband does not understand the issues that come along with the disprder and it has brought me to a crossroads in my marriage! there are times you might have episodes and he needs to fully aware that you may not have control of things at times!!!! I hope I did not intrude in anyway I just thought you needed the insight! Any feed back from you would be great! 

  

   Take care and good luck,  

          Jennifer  

I do understand what you are saying...celexa is supposed to help with addictive tendencies...that may be a question you want to ask the doctor.  I know it's part of the manic phase...my spending was gambling and gambling and more gambling.  I'm not gambling anymore...but the celexa has helped me.    

  

Then my ex (separated) spouse...ohmigod...got into my accounts (mine...that money was there before we married) and spent everything I had and ran up the credit cards (excess of $350,000 dollars)...yes I had a nice little nest egg...but it's gone and not a darn thing to show for it.  I also made in excess of $6000 a month.  I can blame my gambling...but I also knew what I had and for some reasons was obsessed with always paying my bills and putting money away for retirement (I never touched that account).  I too did not know what he was doing...I filed bankruptcy.  I'm not proud of it...and if he had never been in my life I never would have filed...because in the same respect I did put a limit...I played 5 cents machines...$50...went a long long way.  But, when I sat in front of that machine...that was the only time I could get my mind to STOP.  I knew why I went and it wasn't for entertainment...but for a brief moment that was gone and IT DID turn into a sick addiction.  If I had not gambled and been in that state I would have been aware of what he had done...(he would've been gone a whole lot sooner than what he was).   

  

I was always so so so busy...I never paid attention to my accounts and never reviewed the statements.  I knew what I had and certainly didn't know he had gained access...he had me sign something and I was busy busy and just signed it....what an idiot I was for trusting.  Oh well, so life goes on he's gone...I didn't declare on everything...but am almost caught up.  The only time it really drives me insane...when my family says, "But Rhonda...you're so smart...how could you let him get away with that."   

  

Our situations are a bit different...they have different types of consolidation (which can have an effect on your credit as well).  There are financial centers that completely take over your bills...credit cards...your paycheck...you are given an allowance.  They negotiate with your creditors...but they take charge of your finances and you have very little control...I don't know how they stop you from getting more credit cards...maybe a statement goes in at the credit bureau(s) stating to verify with them before issuing card.  But it is a tough hard line to live. 

  

I hope to chat with you again. 

Rhonda     

Hi Jennifer 

  

No you did not intrude at all.  Thank you for your input...that's what we are all here for...we help each other.  With my meds I hide it really really well.  I have not had an explosive episode for 8 years (yay).  I have learned a lot of self talk and how my body feels...no one ever realizes I have a problem, except with the depression.  I am hoping for good results with this new addition to my medication (praying like crazy).  I've been through so much counseling...i'm counseled out.  This board I am achieving leaps and bounds.  Things that I've been looking for to help me further.  To help me feel like a whole person.  My family knows...they see super changes...which is awesome.  But, I also know I can never quit my medication or I'll be right back where I was...or worse because I've been medicated so long...I have no idea how I would be off of it.  Actually, to me it's a scary thought.  But now that you know me a little better...do you think because we have only been going out six weeks and neither of us has discussed medical situations, etc...that I can just wait and maybe never tell if I have major improvements? 

  

I do appreciate the input I get...it helps me tons...but, like anyone we all make our own decisions and I have the choice...so please don't think you are intruding...it does give me more thoughts and more perspective.  The people who have been on this board a long time...will tell you that as well. 

  

Thanks for chatting with me 

Rhonda 

Rhonda, 

   you are so right that it is your decision! I can see your perspective on this being a new relationship!!! Wait it out a bit and you will know in your heart when the time is right!! I have only been diagnosed for 8 months so i am still sooo new to all this! I am on the road to stabilization. but  I am still tring to find the right meds. Good luck 

  

                                Thanks for the chat, 

                                                 Jennifer 

Hi there 

  

I've been up since the wee hours of the morning.  I had a procedure yesterday and it's painful enough to keep me awake.  I've been on this board since December and it is a great board.   

  

One thing I stress a lot to people...we are all the same.  I'm not a medical professional and I do not have any background in psychology or anything of the nature...just personal experiences.  You pick and choose what you feel is best for you and come up with your own solution(s). 

  

Woah...he feels you need to be more appreciative of him...my opinion (but I am independent and don't worry about financially taking care of myself)...how about him being appreciative to you.  Man it sounds like you wait on him hand and foot.  I normally don't say things so bluntly...ask others...they'll tell you.  One thing I so don't like is abuse of any kind...he is playing a mental & emotional game with you...and I bet he puts you down...so your self-esteem is low.   

  

This is what I would do...and by all means you do not have to take my advice.  I would find the resources that are available out there.  Talk to a woman's resource center (you don't need to be just physically abused to go there...actually the emotional is worse than the physical...you are talking to an AdultChild survivor...who suffered much abuse).  I guess that's why I worked so darn hard all my life.  Financially I've never had to depend on anyone...so when I am in a relationship...it is because I want to be...not because I need to be...not saying I made the best choices on partners either...lol.   I grew up knowing I could only count on me and I did go after that...many women have not.  But, I know there are a lot of resources out there.  I know I shouldn't say this because it's devious on my part...but you have been his little slave to pick up after him, cook for him, and goodness what else.  So, if he comes back I would still seek these resources...get yourself on your feet and then say good-bye baby...especially if you are not missing him.  This is your choice...but, how I'm reading your message correctly...I could not do that.  And I may not be the best person to talk about this to...there are other folks on here that have marital difficulties...who manage to work things out for the better.  You did hit me on a tender area of what I will not tolerate.  I'm sorry for being so blunt.  Please remember I am not a professional and seek guidance with someone who is.  And hopefully other people on this board can share more than I can.   

  

I look forward to seeing you more and chatting with you.  I hope things work out for the way you want them to. 

  

Rhonda 

  

  

How are you doing?  I hope great.  I've been up since 4:30 am and it is now 8:04 am.  I think i"m going to try and get a few more hours of sleep.  I have been having trouble for the most part sleeping past 3 am.  Yesterday I got up at 5 am...went all day long (no nap) and went to bed at 10:30pm.  This is so unheard of for me.  Well, I had my procedure done yesterday...I guess it takes a few days for the medicine to go to where it needs to be...but I have to ice every hour...so it does go there.  Been good at doing this (except while I was sleeping...lol). 

  

I hope you have a great day and I'll chat with you soon.  By the way you did a great thing by answering so many new posts.  Dr. Phil should hire you as a moderator or something like that. 

  

Rhonda