Topic : Bipolar Disorder

is not a sign of a hypocondriac, it is a sign that you are efficient and organized, and especially that you want to give  your doctor good and complete information.  

As for how long it takes, it takes until. Just be glad you aren't doing it 23 years ago, when I was. It took me five years to get my medication right. It doesn't take that long now because there are more meds and doctors are willing to recognize now that one medicine does not fit all. I can't predict how long it will take you, but I  can tell you it won't be close to five years.  

Think of your family--your husband and especially your kids. They deserve a wife and a mother who isall there for them. And think of yourelf. You deserve to feel better and not want to die all the time or be overspending or whatever you under the influence of  the disease. No one can do it for you. 

You can either be controlled by the disease or roll up your sleeves and fight it. If you don't years will pass and you'll be in the same old bipolar rut. Fight it, and years will pass but meantime you will find the med that makes you feel stable and in control. 

Okay, it's Rhonda's turn to vent...lol.  Mensan...I see you're on Tegretol...I took that many moons ago, but it was for partial complex seizure disorder...it did stabalize my seizures...but, it never helped with the depression.   

Today I discovered a friend did not tell me the truth...that bothers me so much.  I don't like being told what people think I want to hear.  I just want the truth...even if it hurts.  There's always delicate ways to put things.  So, now I am again in a depressed mood and feeling....yuck...is that a good expression...anyways we know what the "pits" or "black hole" feels like.  I almost went gambling...I'm so happy I was able to stop myself...it was hard though...my self-destruction.  I'm trying to kick it out of my head and it won't go away.  Now a trust level has just decreased...I don't have many friends...my fault for being agrophobic (not like that will go away...lol) and an introvert...not like I can change my personality to much though, as far as being an introvert and being to darn shy and fearful of people.  So, I don't know how to deal with it.  I thought this person was a good friend...but if she's lying to me...well then she will continue to lie and not be much of a friend.  It hurts to let a friend go.  It's not the first time she's told a falsehood.  But, this story ... well it really drove that trust level down.  I was told I have good instincts and to trust them...I have often ignored them and that is why I've been hurt so often.  I know what I have to do...and that is distance myself...but, it really hurts.  Any comforting words or advice. 

Another thing that's bothering me...I have an appointment with my Voc Rehab counselor next Thursday at 10 am...I asked if I will go back to school...but she did not answer this question.  Usually if it's good they'll tell you that...so this is bothering me as well.   

The procedure I had done yesterday went well...but, I am having some pain still...very uncomfortable...and have been icing the injections area.  I hope it works...my hand is still numb & tingling.  I have 3 days of anitbiotics left for my sinus infection (14 days total) and it is not clearing up...the ENT doc said if it doesn't...surgery is the next step.  And I am running a fever.     

I don't know...I just feel bummed out.  It's to much to deal with at the same time...I was dealing pretty well until my friend did that though...it was enough to take me over the edge.  I am hanging on by my fingertips.  And I am working really really hard to try to keep positive thoughts in my mind.   

Thank you for listening 

Rhonda 

Okay, it's Rhonda's turn to vent...lol.  Mensan...I see you're on Tegretol...I took that many moons ago, but it was for partial complex seizure disorder...it did stabalize my seizures...but, it never helped with the depression.   

Today I discovered a friend did not tell me the truth...that bothers me so much.  I don't like being told what people think I want to hear.  I just want the truth...even if it hurts.  There's always delicate ways to put things.  So, now I am again in a depressed mood and feeling....yuck...is that a good expression...anyways we know what the "pits" or "black hole" feels like.  I almost went gambling...I'm so happy I was able to stop myself...it was hard though...my self-destruction.  I'm trying to kick it out of my head and it won't go away.  Now a trust level has just decreased...I don't have many friends...my fault for being agrophobic (not like that will go away...lol) and an introvert...not like I can change my personality to much though, as far as being an introvert and being to darn shy and fearful of people.  So, I don't know how to deal with it.  I thought this person was a good friend...but if she's lying to me...well then she will continue to lie and not be much of a friend.  It hurts to let a friend go.  It's not the first time she's told a falsehood.  But, this story ... well it really drove that trust level down.  I was told I have good instincts and to trust them...I have often ignored them and that is why I've been hurt so often.  I know what I have to do...and that is distance myself...but, it really hurts.  Any comforting words or advice. 

Another thing that's bothering me...I have an appointment with my Voc Rehab counselor next Thursday at 10 am...I asked if I will go back to school...but she did not answer this question.  Usually if it's good they'll tell you that...so this is bothering me as well.   

The procedure I had done yesterday went well...but, I am having some pain still...very uncomfortable...and have been icing the injections area.  I hope it works...my hand is still numb & tingling.  I have 3 days of anitbiotics left for my sinus infection (14 days total) and it is not clearing up...the ENT doc said if it doesn't...surgery is the next step.  And I am running a fever.     

I don't know...I just feel bummed out.  It's to much to deal with at the same time...I was dealing pretty well until my friend did that though...it was enough to take me over the edge.  I am hanging on by my fingertips.  And I am working really really hard to try to keep positive thoughts in my mind.   

Thank you for listening 

Rhonda 

Rhonda, 

 You said you were started on a new med to stop the racing thoughts in your head. My daughter has that all the time and we have not been able to find a med where she can still function and care for her baby and do her part-time job. Do you mind telling me what the med is and maybe she could try it. She sees her pdoc soon and we can talk to him about it. Thanks.LOL 

lindaw 

I do understand what you are saying...celexa is supposed to help with addictive tendencies...that may be a question you want to ask the doctor.  I know it's part of the manic phase...my spending was gambling and gambling and more gambling.  I'm not gambling anymore...but the celexa has helped me.    

Then my ex (separated) spouse...ohmigod...got into my accounts (mine...that money was there before we married) and spent everything I had and ran up the credit cards (excess of $350,000 dollars)...yes I had a nice little nest egg...but it's gone and not a darn thing to show for it.  I also made in excess of $6000 a month.  I can blame my gambling...but I also knew what I had and for some reasons was obsessed with always paying my bills and putting money away for retirement (I never touched that account).  I too did not know what he was doing...I filed bankruptcy.  I'm not proud of it...and if he had never been in my life I never would have filed...because in the same respect I did put a limit...I played 5 cents machines...$50...went a long long way.  But, when I sat in front of that machine...that was the only time I could get my mind to STOP.  I knew why I went and it wasn't for entertainment...but for a brief moment that was gone and IT DID turn into a sick addiction.  If I had not gambled and been in that state I would have been aware of what he had done...(he would've been gone a whole lot sooner than what he was).   

I was always so so so busy...I never paid attention to my accounts and never reviewed the statements.  I knew what I had and certainly didn't know he had gained access...he had me sign something and I was busy busy and just signed it....what an idiot I was for trusting.  Oh well, so life goes on he's gone...I didn't declare on everything...but am almost caught up.  The only time it really drives me insane...when my family says, "But Rhonda...you're so smart...how could you let him get away with that."   

Our situations are a bit different...they have different types of consolidation (which can have an effect on your credit as well).  There are financial centers that completely take over your bills...credit cards...your paycheck...you are given an allowance.  They negotiate with your creditors...but they take charge of your finances and you have very little control...I don't know how they stop you from getting more credit cards...maybe a statement goes in at the credit bureau(s) stating to verify with them before issuing card.  But it is a tough hard line to live. 

I hope to chat with you again. 

Rhonda     

First things first. I was on Tegretol, and was on it for ten years. In 1999 I developed an allergy to it and had to stop taking it. Immediately. This is what led to the loss of my job. There I was, off drugs, and then we started playing drug roulette. I was behaving in ways at work that were inappropriate (If you know what I mean and I am sure that you do) so I decided to tell my boss that I am bipolar. She is a registered nurse so I thought she could handle it. When I saw the look on her face I knew she couldn't. So I was fired. It took several months to get me back on drugs. Now I am on Topomax, Paxil, and Respiradol. And those three drugs do not work as well for me as Tegretol by itself did.  

I know you  are hurting from your procedure and that doesn't help. I am a total sissy when it comes to pain. Have had endometrosis, migraines, and kidney stones, so know what it is. And I don't like it. If you have sleeping pills I would definitely take one tonight. Everything looks better after you sleep on it. 

Now about your friend lying. Was it the kind of lie where she was trying to make you feel better? I'm like you, I hate people who lie but that kind I can deal with even though I don't like it. 

Or was it the kind of lie one of my "best friends" told when she took every guy aside that I dated and told them that I was sleeping with everyone except him. (And me a virgin). I wondered why a guy never asked me out more than a couple of times. You know, that was in 1964 and I'm still not over it. That was a betrayal of the highest order. I never understood why she did it. But trust me, when I found out, I didn't give her a second chance. 

So it depends on the kind of lie and, mostly, the intention. I am not a liar (bet you knew that) but can excuse it depending on why the person lied if they are trying to spare my feelings. It is  misguided, but I understand it. If that is the case, I would talk with her and tell her I would rather have the truth and explain that it bothers you when she doesn't tell you the truth. 

If she is telling all your boyfriends you are sleeping around on them, throw her out of your life without a backward glance. 

Don't gamble--the house always wins.