Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Hi Jane 

I was placed on Tegretol in 1983...for seizure disorder though...but, that thought maybe it would also help with the mental illness...it didn't.  Like we talk about one works for one and another for the other.  It's weird...no one pill fits all.  I will be happy to have a long time go by like you and not have those feelings ever again.  So far so good.  Usually, when the swing hits me is usually mid-month...so, we'll see.  You know I have to do that mood chart...I actually have two days with NO sad feelings/depressed at all.  A lot 2 or 3 and when I started they were 7 or 8.  Pretty cool eh? 

As you know I am totally hoping this is long term.  I would have a hard time going back as well if it was that long (I think).  Emotions/feelings are hard to explain...no matter what.  I know today...I'm tired and still sick with my cold...but decided to take some time before I lay down to talk to you and everyone.   

I am working on my divorce papers...what I wrote for the reason why I want a divorce is "so harsh".  I wrote it with anger in me...so now I have to rewrite...displaying facts only and no emotion.  He's going to s*** when he sees that.  But, he should have never made a sexual advance towards my daughter...which sickens me.  Also, the fact that I never knew he raped a 70 year old woman and was in prison for it...I threw up.  His brother told me...after I made him leave.  He asked why I made him leave and I told him...that's when he told me about the rape.  We've been broken up before and he said he thought ex had changed...but has not...because we have reconciled in the past...he wanted me to know because of what he did to my daughter.  There are many more reasons...and I put up with it far to long.  That's all that's left and it's ready to go...he ripped up the papers before.  So, I'm sure he will do it again.  All I need to do is send it certified mail...he has to sign for it though.  With the changes...I believe the judge will grant me a divorce with or without his signature.  Wouldn't you think so? 

You explain things well Jane, it's nice to have more than one perspective.  I'm going to go lay down and I'll chat with you some more later. 

Rhonda 

I truly ythink that you have got the key and you are not going to go back. As I said, it is not perfect and you will still feel frustrated at times and you won't always be happy, but the awful feelings will be gone. And then you will struggle to remember what it felt like. That's when you know you've got it. 

I don't know about divorce law in Utah. I got a divorce as painlessly as you can get one, but my husband signed the papers. I wanted out so badly I simply didn't ask for anything except for my car, my cat, and my clothes. I could have asked for equity in the house, alimony, half the savings,etc. But I really wanted out of that marriage, and he was making all kinds of noises about making it difficult, so I just let him have everything. Oddly enough, when I did that, he signed and we did it fast and easy. 

You are right, you need to sound dignified and adult with your  papers. I would think that with all of his lying and stealing from you, you would be able to get a divorce fairly easily. I think Utah probably has harder divorce laws in Texas, but no judge is going to like him making a pass at your daughter. The fact that he kept his criminal past from you, stole your money, and made a pass at your daughter should do it. But, as i said, you need to be very dignified and adult. He isn't, so you will come off looking better. The legal system expects people to act like adults and the more you do, the more  cooperation you get from it. You probably should get a notarized affidavit from your daughter. After all, he's not going to admit to it. And of coure, I'm sure you have your records where he drained your bank accounts. 

On the other hand, it's easier to shoot him.  

 I had this thing called Premature Atrial Contractions, they made my heartbeat feel like it was skipping. Also it made me feel like there was pressure in my lungs and I needed to cough. The blood was backing up in the other chambers or something. Any way now that I am calmer I don't have them hardly at all. I was on meds for depression for years off and on, but It never quite did the trick. I still felt like blowing up over stuff. A mood stabilizer, seroquel, was introduced in February and I am so much more in control and have a better view from in here. I was extremely negative and harsh. My blood pressure was 144 over 115 then when it used to be 120 over 80. Now it's coming back down, 130 over 90 .  I hope it lasts.  

 Ask about that and tell your doc., maybe if you felt better you wouldn't need to be dependent on Medicaid. The big jerks. Maybe your heart and bpressure would regulate like mine seems to have. 

Just don't give up. Make them hear you. Be a wet rash on their behind until they listen.Things can get better. 

Vent anytime we all understand, 

Leslie 

I am the parent of teenager who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  She has been hospitalized 5 times in the past year.  Each time is for 7 days and then she comes home and we start all over.  She is also a cutter.  She is in a hospital now that says she is there because she likes hospitals so they will probably let her come home soon.  Guess what, she has been there just a few days.  My child needs help and we are running out of ideas.  I have private insurance but, it does not cover everything.  She needs long term treatment but, it is very difficult to find anyone to take her.  That is one thing my insurance won't cover.  Plus, we have to drive 4 hours to get her to hospitals that will take her for the 5 to 7 days.  Even MHMR is out of ideas. 

Please any advice on what I can do to get her the help she needs would be greatly appreciated.  As it is my husband is now a stay-home dad and I work at a job that I can not take off of every time she has to be hospitalized.  He's a stay -home dad because we know the school is going to call just about daily to have us come up there because of the cutting. 

Sorry for rambling just don't know where else to turn. 

Thanks for your time. 

txfordgrl 

I am currently taking Lamictal and Remeron, and I feel like I have the flu all the time.  Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, what did you do? 

Eager for someone to help! 

Hi , They took the cancer out when she had surgery. She is a teachers aide and wanted to wait until school is out because she cannot take the time off of work. My mom will be able to go be with her then also. She lives 5 hrs away from us. I thought the same thing, why not now? It's her decision and there's no talking to her. She is another person who would benefit from some anti-depression meds. She refuses to take them. She has a lot of issues and doesn't deal with them. That's another story for another day. Kris 

Hi Rhonda, It's so nice to hear that you are not alone. These boards are becoming my therapy. I work full time and we have a few people at work who are like us. I try to help them as much as possible. I have somewhat become the resident counselor at my job. I think people just need to hear they are not alone. My one friend calls me the sanest crazy person she knows. I get a kick out of that.  

I had a pretty good night tonight. I chaperoned a dance at my daughter's school. I always have fun doing that. My husband stayed home with our son and his daughter. After the dance we went out ot eat. We never usually do that alone. Then we went grocery shopping together. It was nice to spend some time together. He has been complaining that on his nights off that I'm not home,so I tried to be home this weekend. 

My in-laws are coming tomorrow as a surprise to my husband. He turns 40 on Tues. We will have a family bbq. His dad needs to help him build a pen for our rabbits. The last set of rabbits got their pen knocked over by a couple of dogs and the rabbits were never seen again. My kids were very upset. We are also supposed to have company for dinner. I hope they cancel. It's a busy weekend. 

Well once again I am having trouble sleeping. I have to tell my dr. when I see him again. I haven't been this bad in 3 yrs. I am so happy I don't have to get up for work tomorrow.  

Well it's almost 1am and I have to get up early and start cooking for everyone. I am almost in need of a day of reading soon. I would love to just sit on the couch or outside in my swing and read all day. Thanks again for listening. Have a great day. Kris 

I am only 19 years old, with a one year old I have bipolar disorder and depression. I sit around the house all the time,  I don't take care of my household duties 3/4 of the time. Everything about my life right now except for my family is driving me deeper and deeper into my hole. I need help because it's wearing on my relationship. He is my soulmate, we have made it through Hades together, and I don't want to be the one to drive our family apart. I just hope someone sees this. Because I don't know what other route to take! I'm on meds, I've been to the hospital twice, the second time was for a week. I've seen counselors and psychiatrists. I don't know what other route to take. I just hope anyone sees me for once. 

I'm praying for an answer... 

My 18 y.o. was recently diagnosed with Bi-Polar disease(for lack of a better term) with S.I. and it has completely turned our lived upside down! She has always been chronically depressed and from the time she was about  has had a diagnosis of PTSD. The Bi-Polar is new though and I still do not understand how she can just " all of a sudden"  be this way. She has the manic episodes from hell along with panic attacks and audio/visual hallucinations. Nobody in my side of the family has ever been diagnosed with anything like this before so I have to wonder where it came from?  She is also a cutter. She says it's better to feel the pain on her skin than feel the pain in her head. I kind of know what she means by this because I suffered from Munchausen's Syndrome for several years. Anyway. we are having SO much trouble finding ANYTHING that works to help her, excep for Valium for the panic attacks and Geodon for the hallucinations. She has also since about age 10 been an insomniac and that has become worse lately too. The Pdocs have her on Doxepin and every 2 weeks have to increase the dosage for it to put her to sleep. She has gained over 100 pounds in the last year and some of that is due to side effects from the meds and some due to simply not wanting to get up and out of the house. I am at my wit's end with everything. We are about to admit her for the 3rd time in 2 years to the psyche ward because she is almost uncontrollable in her state of mind. She told her therapist that she is so angry most of the time that she's afraid she's going to hurt me when she's in "anger mode". I can so sympathize with Txfordgirl and her daughter. The state of Texas is practically useless when it comes to mental health and MHMR and the Pdoc we see there  are a bunch of quacks. I'm hoping this visit to the hospital will make some kind of difference this time because she is so scared of losing "it" altogether and so am I. I feel like I'm the one who needs to be admitted as I too suffer from depression and when I see her pain mine increases tenfold.  

texs_peach 

Dear INeed, 

    It sounds as though you're at the same point as my daughter right now......the counseling isn't really doing much and the meds aren't the right ones either. All I can say is keep trying and don't give up on either yourself OR your little one and his/her daddy. IF you've already been to Hades and back then just keep hanging on and hanging in and SOMEthing will work for you soon. Keep trying to talk with different therapists and or psychiatrists till you find one that will listen to you and keep tweeking your meds till you can find the right mix. That baby needs you and wether you know it or not so does your family. Please don't give up on yourself.....you can find what works even if it takes a little while longer. Talk to the "Man upstairs" ask Him for his guidance and really really HEAR what HE tells you. Take one day, one mood at a time and just get through it with the strength you have inside you. You may think you don't have any left but you reached out to us didn't you?  So, don't think it's gone.....it's just hidden amongst all the confusion and fear and pain going on inside of you, if nothing else use your baby as your biggest strength to reach for the help you need. 

Texs_Peach