Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Thank for your reply. My friend told me about Premature Atrial Contractions just the other day, but I haven't spoken to my doctor yet. Sometimes, it feels like my heart quivers and about a week ago my heart began to beat fast and it lasted for about 10 minutes, I didn't know what was happening and I got so scared. It finally went away but when I went to bed all I kept thinking about was going to bed and not waking up, it was just a horrible night. My BP has always been normal, usually 121 over 80 something, it only gotten high when I was pregnant and when I was sick. My doctor put me on Wellburtrin XL for anxiety, but it hasn't helped. I don't know how to talk to her without feeling scared or that she think I'm an unfit mom or something like that. it's just so hard dealing with all this, I just wish it would go away and let me live my life. Thanks again for listening.  

Patti 

The contract was accepted.....We shall be moving 60-90 days, My shop and privy fence must be built first. I have one advantage over my wife this is her 1st time buying a house and I have bought one & then built one. The builder/developer is a slick one, he keeps his prices fixed and has a large developement plan for the area, its pretty cool plan and as I said he is a slick one. He has this house trade-in program and since we dont have one to trade-in , and his prices are fixed the numbers will juggled @ the back door., If it wasnt in black&white on a seperate paper from the contract I wouldnt believe it...as I said he is a slick one. The monies we will recieve will be given to us anyway we choose, spending accout at a furniture store, roll it into the mortage, or cash!!!...choices , choices.......LOL. 

  So Mensan when is your printing date? And where will the line start so I can get in it. 

 Rhonda I am sorry you cold is catching up with you? Is it a cold or sinus problems? But I am glad that I heard you were carrying two bags @ a time. And I hope your pain is still at a all time low. 

I am going back to the boards and try to catch up............................Bo 

Was post par tum depression ruled out? I know with my second child I was so drained and down that I barely had the energy to breath. Maybe your hormones are out of whack on top of that. At that time I also had an ovarian cyst that according to my "wonderful" OBGYN didn't exist. My hair had become so brittle it was breaking off and leaving piles when I brushed it. Finally , I went to a trusted Family Physician who gave a crap and he lined things up and the thing was found. That non-existing cyst was the size of a baseball and weighed 11/2 lbs. The ovary was mangled and had to be removed. So don't ignore anything your body is telling you. Keep trying until you find someone who will really listen to what you are saying. 

You might try an endocrinologist,  they specialize in glands and hormones. You are too young to be so distressed. Keep praying, keep trying. God will point the way. 

Why do they do that? Do they hear so many whiny, please -give-me-pills patients that they just stop listening to everyone? I don't want pills. I want to know if it is physical first. The Adrenal glands on top of the kidneys produce a lot of hormones, some affect heart rhythm,rate. Others like adrenalin and cortisol have to do with stress reaction and mood and metabolism. I have told my doctors that I have a "rock" in my left kidney when pressed, and sometimes it throbs and hurts to the point I get nauseated. And what hormones do they continue to test? My THYROID!  It's like ,if it isn't your thyroid , you need a shrink. They wont even check for kidney stones. Crap I'd be afraid to go in for hemorrhoid removal, you'd probable get your foot amputated.  

I'm just going to keep complaining about  it maybe one of my docs will hear me eventually. Either that or I'm going to exaggerate a little and hit the ER next time it happens.  

Try to have a good day. 

Leslie 

Are you ever going to be busy-and having fun for a while. I know what a hectic time this will be. Have an excellent time with it. Boy, do I wish I could be buying a house.  

Will let everyone know when my book is ready--should be in about six months. If everything goes well.  

Great news that Rhonda is feeling so well--in every way. She'll be dancing in the streets soon. 

j 

But are you going to a psychiatrist? If you think you are bipolar that's who you need to consult. Also, a psychiatrist is much more qualified to deal with depression. As I've told you, one med may not even be close to a real try. I had to try many before i got the one that helped me, and Rhonda, who has just found the right one,also tried many. Don't give up so easily. Try your mental health clinic, get a definitive diagnosis, and try meds until you get the right one. yes, it's a tremendous hassle, or you could hit the right one immediately, but it is worth it. I know how you feel, have been there, as we all have, but you can get better, we are proof of it. But you have to work at it. Keep trying. 

Dear VGAMEZ, 

      I read your personal story and it was as if I was reading my own. I have never read anyone elses story about their child that really identified wih my own. My sons are both Bipolar 1 (and so was their paternal aunt) I say this in the passed tense because at the age of 54 she died in her sleep after so many years of torment on and off medications.  

My son is in a State Hospital in California for inmates. He just got there on Monday of this week after spending a year in a mental part of the Jail without much in the way of meds and no therapy at all. He ended up there on March 30th of last year 2005. He had been in and out of the hospital that whole last year and several times before then. My husband and I had gotten so tired of the mental health system that we paid more than $40,000 prior to this to try and help him in a private hospital. It wasn't great I will tell you and they had to keep him there even longer becaue what meds they gave him wouldn't work. My son tried several times to escape to another State and my husband and I would try and get him back here. He was trying to get to California and ended up psychotic as hell near El Paso and disoriented. My husband had to fly out to El Paso, rent a car, try to coerce him to get in the car with him(while he was psychotic) and drive all the way back home to Houston in a driving rainstorm where he could barely see the highway. My son made my husband give him the keys when they had stopped for something tho eat and because my husband was somewhat afraid of him (my son is almost six feet and 220 lbs. and my husband is 5'9 at only about 160 lbs)Anyway, to make a long story shorter my husband thought he was a gonner with my son driving the car at night with 18-wheelers all over the place. He truly thought he was dead. My son was driving the car and very reckless. My husband couldn't do anything about it. We were on the phone with my son's psychiatrist the whole night, actually early morning while he was on the phone with the state police and we were giving him different exits he was near so they could pull them over and take my son. They never found him so my son ended up turning back and heading to San Antonio because he didn't want to drive any further. After finally getting them home both safe, we had to try to get him to take his meds, which have been his problem all along. After several moments where we have tried to get the police involved we had to get a temporary guardianship to to take away all of his rights and get him restored to competency.  He was in a hospital for three months after spending a month in the county hospital. We thought things were getting better but he went off his meds again and after fleeing and us retrieving him in Austin at his cousin's house after a whole night of drinking at the bars and being disoriented so that she had to go and meet him so he could follow her home and we were able to drive there and get him home(wasn't easy to do with him not wanting to take any meds,and we are on the phone with the Doctor. Anyway by the next week while he was back at home he skipped out and left his car at the airport got on a plane to California and was able to rent a car disoriented, drop it somewhere where he couldn't even remember and then waited in a motel near the airport at LAX until he was able to get  a car dealership to sell him a car (with hardly any money in his account) and he gave them a fake address in Beverly Hills and they gave him a brand spanking new car!!!! He couldn't even find his way back to the motel he was staying at where at least he had brought some meds. He was on the phone with me telling me about this car and a navigator which wasn't working. We thought it too incredulous to be true( he was only 24 at the time) and next thing we knew, we got a phone call at 3:00am and was told by the police that he had been in a terrible car accident, that he was ok but that a woman had been killed. His car flipped over on top of hers and his car was totaled. He had been traveling 50 or 60 miles an hour on a residential street, and came up on a main six lane street and after killing this 40 year old woman another car hit hers and there were three cars involved. My husband and I could have bailed my son out but where was he to go? We have no family in CA . He would be a danger to himself and others. Unfortunately I hae ourselves to blame for this because not knowing everything we do now he has been in an accident before when he was in school, on a highway where he hit two ladies in one car, but they were alright but he had been drinking. He was in jail then while in school, and had to go on probation and no car for at lest a year then, He had also been traveling 120 miles an hour on a freeway here in town and had gotten stopped and gotten a ticket. Each time my husband and I enlisted an attorney to et his record expunged and we have that to live with. He has been in jail for a year and we have had to spend a lot of money on an attorney again to try and help so that he won't go to prison. The psychiatrist for the DA is the one who told the court that my son needed to be restored to competency.He needs to be helped and not be in prison. My husband and I have been to CA several times to visit him for 30 minutes at a time , with max two times in one week is allowed. Sometimes he wouldn't even come out to see us. Anyway, he is now in the hospital for a minimum of three months to restore his competency. We are leaving to go and see him and will be able to put out arms around him for 5 seconds. Before we were only allowed a plexiglass wall with a phone for a whole year. 

 Your story almost sounded as sad as mine and that is why I had to respond to it. I have an older son who is 28 and is on meds and has had a hard time with it too. He hasn't given me the amount of trouble though that the younger one has. I have to honestly say there are days when I just don't want o be on this earth to have to deal with it all. They are usually fleeting moments and no I am not suicidal. Just very sad at my son's prospects along with my husband and mine. I sure with they could find a cure for this dread disorder. Nobody seems to care though. Fortunately unlike you, without my husband in the picture, I don't think I would be either.  

Hi Patti 

I read your post and because it sounds so much like me...it scares me.  I get the emotional pain...because it floods back.   

One thing you have to be able to express what's going on to your doctor...and when you are in there...they hear what it is at that moment.  I understand what you are saying all to well.  My suggestion is to copy your post and take this to the doctor. 

Also, the doctors are not supposed to care how they get paid and I have not met one yet.  That could be how your feeling and you are reflecting your feelings to them.  However, if it is really true there are avenues to make a complaint about the services...also you have the choice to select another doctor.  You would have to go through the social service office to do that...but it can be done.   

Okay...you ask if you have bipolar...we are not physicians here...but there seems to be familiarity to your symptoms...but, these symptoms can also be a reflection of other diagnosis's...such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).   

I am on Wellbutrin (it doesn't help me to lose weight).  But, I also am on a combination of medications.  Wellbutrin, celexa, buspar, & lamicital.  You may need more than one med.  It also sounds as though you need to go through a coping skills group therapy session and have help in dealing with your childhood abuse (trauma).   

You are where I was at the age of 28...I am now 48.  I see your pain, feel your pain...it's my pain.  You have to work hard to have some "normalcy" in your life.  I believe I see paranoia in what you write...that's why I say to really look at the doctor...they should be your advocate to improve your mental health.  Expressing myself at that age...you put it in words better than I could.  And maybe you are like me...I can write how I feel better than saying it.  That's why you should print out what you feel and diary it.   

There's a lot of good support on this board...do remember we are people who've been through a lot of what you are going through.  Talking to others, writing...does help.    You can do it. 

Chat with you later. 

Rhonda 

Hi there 

Been there with one of my daughters.  My oldest daughter was in a residential treatment facility for 6 months (that's all the insurance covers).  Upon discharge they recommended giving her up and having her placed in a group residential facility.  This I could not do.  I called a help line...one of the workers at the residential facility answered my call...he told me he knew my daughter and had worked at that facility and she was completely out of control and no one could handle her and recommended that she did go to that facility.  I started going through the steps...the state would've taken over...she would have been placed on medicaid...because she was out of the home for 6 months.  I struggled over this and as many people on this board know ... I did not do that.  When she was 15 1/2 she was placed into foster care until she was 18.  I was not able to protect my other daughter from her violent rages.  She was a cutter as well...she still has the scars.  You have a very rough decision here...it is not easy...raising a child with these medical concerns. 

Well, now here's the hope...she now 27 years old.  She is the most fabulous person in the world.  She's loving, caring, creative, smart...she is so positive.  I actually learn things from her.  If I was asked when she was 10...15...18...I would've said...it was not possible.  But, it is.  I never gave up though...even when she was in foster care...I went and seen her 3 to 4 times a week and we chatted and spent time together.  And I'm not going to lie...it is exhausting.  But, all worth it when you see how wonderful your child is later in life. 

I was a single mom...so it's nice that she has both parents and you have the ability for one of you to stay home...even if it is self-induced.   

I guess I would also contact the county mental health association...check what's out there.  Go down the yellow pages...check every single resource out there.  I did have a doctor resign...because he was not able to help my daughter...but did provide names of doctors who work with these health difficulties.  There is help out there...sometimes it feels like there's not...probably because of the lack improvement...all I can say is keep on working, it is much harder than having a healthy child...lots of work, lots of love, lots of patience...all worth it. 

Chat with you later. 

Rhonda