Topic : Bipolar Disorder

I'm sure that Rhonda and Blaze don't want you to quit posting and I know I don't. It was just a misunderstanding and I would appreciate it if you all would just start over again. I was enjoying your posts and enjoying having you on the board. I would like to keep hearing from you. 

OMG isn't that the truth! I tell ya, it really scares me to think that about my doctor, especially when it's about my heart. My dad died of a massive heart attack at 66 and he also had a heart attack in his 30's, so heart problems run in my family and so does high BP, my mom has serevere high blood pressure. I wish I knew how to get through and be heard. Thanks again for listening and replying, it truly, truly means a lot. Have a wonderful day and remember, when one door closes, God always opens a window.  

Best Regards, 

Patti 

Hi Rhonda, thanks for replying. It's been a very tough road for me and I'm only 28. I've been used, abused, thrown out, put down, turned down and even homeless. I was a single mom with no education who only could find work in the food industry or retail. I used drugs and alcohol for comfort and to mask my pain and I didn't respect myself. In these past 4 years, my life has change so much for the good. I've gone back to school to get my GED and now a part-time nursing student. I married a man that loves me for me, past and all, who is also the best father my children never had. I've been clean & sober for the past 4 years. And for once, I own my own home, it may not be the best home, but it's mine and of course my husbands'. I learned to love myself and to be a better mom, but my past resentment and regression is tearing my world apart and so is the stress of not getting the proper help and the feeling of not being good enough. I fear I'm putting my kids through what I've been through, which was a life filled with emotional problems, family problems and proverty. I can't help but wonder if I deserve to be a mother and if I'm bringing my family down with me. I'm just so confused and frustrated and I feel like giving up, but I've come too far to give up, but it's soo hard. Thanks for listening, it really helps me and means so much.  

God Bless,  

Patti 

Hi everyone, I had my first good weekend in a long time. I had my husband's family for a bbq for his birthday. I had 12 people over and it went great. My husband had no idea his family was coming. He thought it was just another weekend at home. We had my stepchildren for the weekend as well. They were actually happy to be here. The divorce was hard on them and the relationship with my husband and his ex is not great. We live a very different lifestyle from their house. It's hard on them to be at 2 different houses. Their mother strongly dislikes my daughter and I, so life is somewhat fun. We only live 10 minutes from each other and are in the same school district. 

Back to the good stuff. We had a good day with his family. All the kids played outside and entertained their grandparents. Entertaining and cooking all day was actually much more relaxing then the normal stuff. 

On Sunday, my son went to 2 playdates and my daughter had 2 freinds over. I played basketball and soccer with the kids. I weeded my flower beds and cleaned up the yard and did some light housework. It was pretty relaxing.  

Tomorrow is baack to work and I think I have a better outlook than I did last week. I was pretty frustrated and upset when I left on Friday. 

This week is when the insanity starts. My kids have baseball, softball, volleyball, and scouts this week. This is when I wished my husband didn't work nights. At least when they are at practice I can do some walking. Hopefully I will be able to keep myself in a good state of mind. 

I hope everyone has a good day tomorrow. I have to run. I forgot to get my son's Easter bags together for school tomorrow. Keep your head up and keep smiling. Being positive has a lot to do with how you feel. I find that when I am negative or am surrounded by negativity, I bring myself down. It's hard to do, but we have to try our best.  

Thanks again for listening.                   Kris 

No I'm not seeing a psychiatrist. My insurance does not cover that. I would have to pay out-of-pocket and I just can not afford that. It's hard to not give up when all options are gone. I have nothing but my family and the clothes on our back. We live day by day, pay check by pay check, it's hard, but  we're getting by with what we've got. It's so hard not having a car where we live because we have no public transportation, like buses, trains, cabs, etc... Excuse my french but if you don't have a car here, you're up s***'s creek without a paddle. I have no family here except my husbands and they do what they can for us. And I hardly have any friends except one, but she lives about 20 miles away and has here own family to worry about. I have no way of being able to get out and go to support groups, meet people and talk to people face to face who's in my shoes or been there done that. Not only I'm I struggling with my past, but the present day is not making it any easier. I was told I had anxiety and an irregular heartbeat and that's about it. I have mood swings, I get headaches, chest pains/palpatations, pain in my arm's, back pain, I even started having irregular periods, went to a doctor for that too and found nothing. I just feel my life is falling apart and that I will be forever stuck in this nightmare. I know that I need help and that is why I've writen into Dr. Phil, literally begging him to help, with no avail. It just not meant for me to get professinal help. However, getting posts from people like you, brightens up my day and help me cope, even if it's for a little while. Thanks for your thoughtfulness, Patti  

Hi, Bipolar mom. Even though I have never been diganosed with bi-polar, instead my doctor said I have "anxiety", which I think is wrong, I feel your pain. I've been on Wellburtin XL for months, but it feels like I haven't been on anything. I can count on both hands the amount of times I feel like myself in a month. I'm so sorry about not being able to get your meds, they are so important I'm sure. Have you tried to see if you qualifiy for help filling your meds? I know here in Harris county, the Dept. of Children & Family Services helps with getting meds filled for those who qualify and I don't think you need to be on public assistance either, so call your local DFACS and ask if they have such a program. Ok, good luck and remember you're not alone in this fight.  

Best Regards,  

Patti 

Pine mountain Valley, GA 

Hi  

I have a friend who was diagnosed with bipolar.  I have done some research so I can try and understand and maybe notice the mania and depression.  What scares me is he claims he can live a life without the drugs to help him maintain a "normal life".  Can he really do this without drugs?  I have experienced both the mania and depression and when I tried to point it out to him, of course he got angry and told me that he knows everytime I talk to him that I see the bipolar first and not him.  That is not the case.  I consider the bipolar only when he talks about things that he normally would not or discusses making drastic decisions about this life (changing college degree with only six weeks left on his current degree).  He was diagnosed with bipolar when he tried to commit suicide in the military.  I believe he told me he was bipolar 2?  What is that?  Thanks for any information given.   

I feel the same  way. Thats what these boards are all about. Sometimes these are the only people i come in contact with in the day except for my hubby and kids. I dont want hurt feelings on anyones part. Just get along. We all have different things to  contribute to this board. Even though our personalities are totally different and we may rub each other the wrong way once in awhile.  I have learned alot from everyone here. This is a nice board want to keep it that way.  

Blaze