Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Bi-polar does suck, but you have to deal with it day by day.  2 months ago, after I had my baby, I was raging, sad, depressed; you name it.  I even slapped my husband for no reason what-so-ever.  I had been off of my meds (zoloft, abilify,and adderall) for a very long time.  During my pregnancy, everything was okay, but after I had him (my baby), it all went down hill until my med's kicked in again.  I know how it feels to have days were you just want to die, and others that you just want to go crazy!    

  

It is one of those disorders that not only do you have to take medicine, but also work on your anger issues and deal with the issues with a effective attitude.  You may find this corny, but to me it works:  Every morning I wake up and say several positive affermations.  I tell myself that I am going to have a good day, that I will be happy and deal with my anger in a  effective manner.    

If I feel myself getting out of control, I walk outside and take some time to myself.  My med's help me tremendously, but I also have to practice self control, and that comes with time.    

   

Life is a beautiful thing, and being bi-polar, our minds tell us it isn't.  You seem fusterated with all the things that are going on in your life.  Not only do you have to deal with your husbands MS, you have children.  I could only imagine how much stress you have in your life.  

   

You need to talk to someone who has been through what you are going through.  May I suggest a support group for bi-polar people?  Or even one for the loved ones of MS.?  I know that there are these groups in Houston, TX.  I know the group for bi-polar is wonderful for me, it helps me know that I am NOT alone, and that my emotions are normal.    

   

It takes time to get use to new medications.  Hang in there, and talk to your doctor if they are not helping.  REMEMBER:  You may have bi-polar, you may be on med's, but at the end of the day, you have been put on this earth for a reason, and to take yourself off of it before your time, would be a tragety.    

   

Hope I helped!     

  

  

  

Trust me, I know that I have to get out of my own head from time to time!  Glad I could help!  Stay positive and smile!  I will pray for you!

suck.i ve been dealing with my illnes for 20 +years but was only diagnosed last year..ive been having a tough time dealing with it you see up til today i have been off my meds..due to lack of insurance and ability to ppay for my medical services..i recently got my county to start a program for the mentally ill.up till now if you had a mental illness there wasnt any help in obtaining the professionall help that we all need to survive from day to day.. 

  

I just want to give you a few words of encouragement...i'm not goin to lie to you and tell you that its gonna get eaiser..cuz it dont..butr i am goin to tell you that all you have in this world when everything else fails you, just remember that your family needs you and they are there for you..dont give up on them..and they wont give up on you.. 

  

If it wasnt for my wife and kids i can honestly say i wouldn't be here right now..last year i had a real bad time coping with my life one minute i'm full of life the next i just wanna die..i suffer from paranoid dilusions and anxiety on top of my bp..so when my days go sour they really go sour..just remember no matter how bad you get them kids will always love thier momma...just remember on you r good days as well as your bad days to let them know how much you love them and how much you need them around..and in the long run it'll work out.. 

  

you all have a grest day...... 

congradulate all the moms in here for doing a wonderful job  

  

i dont know how u do it ...i'm a stay at home dad but my youngest is 4 i dont know if i would be able to handle a newborn and my illness at the same time..so congradulations to alll moms...keep it up..and one day you'll be able to look back in time and wonder did i do that? 

  

bye all 

Do some research on bipolar, either online or in the library, so you understand the disorder and what it does to you. Then you can get a handle on what's happening to you. Then, understand that you are depressed and express that to your doctor so he/she can adjust your medication. You definitely need a meds adjustment. Thirdly, why in the world are you letting your roommate's boyfrient decide how you should feel about yourself? Stand up for yourself.  

  

If you do these things you will start to feel better about yourself and you will be able to handle your disorder better. Keep trying. 

  

Hi 

  

I've never heard of Sophronia disorder.  My daughter who is now 27 is bipolar, ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, rage behavior, partial complex seizure disorder.  My other daughter who is 22 has depression, ADHD, oppositonal defiant disorder.  Both of my daughters have extremely high IQ's.  However, my older one was the studious one.  The other one listened in class and did her work from that.   

  

It was my older daughter with the rage control problems.  She also was at a young age when this started happening.  When she was born she screamed 20 out of 24 hours a day...literally.  Babysitters only watched her for 2-6 weeks at a time.  I was always looking for a new sitter.  She was able to go into daycare at the age of 6 months.  She'd bite other children at daycare. 

  

At the age of 5 she was playing outside and came in furious and went to the silver\ware drawer and took out a pearing knife.  I asked her what she was doing...response...I'm pissed of at John I'm going to cut him.  At age 10 we were sitting at the table eating ice cream...all of a sudden her expression changed as well as her eyes and blurted out to my younger child "If the judge would let me I'd f****n kill you."  She consistantly hit her younger sister until she was 13...I say hit...because no damage was done.  At this age she assaulted me physically/verbally numerous times to include one time in front of her psychiatrist and he contacted the police and she was admitted to children's psychiatric hospital.  Another time she had taken the phone and was going to smash my skull in...a friend was there and saw what was going to happen and she stopped her.  Pushing down stairs, hitting, horrific verbal abuse etc.  My younger child suffered the same.  When she was younger I could stop her, ie, I was able to remove the knife from her without incident and straddled her until her mood changed.  I was pregnant when I had to straddle and my spouse came in the house and saw how she was kicking me from behind...he took over and screamed in her face ... this did not stop her though...until she was ready.  She was actually cited by the police several times for assaulting her sister as well as the verbal abuse.  She was in a residential facility for six months. The recommendation after her release was to put her in a group home and not let her come back home.  Well, I just couldn't do that.  At the age of 15 she was so very violent the state intervened and she could no longer stay home due to the abuse my other child was suffering.  She was in a group home, foster care, group home, foster care, group home, foster care, group home...till 18 no one was able to handle/work/cope with her and her mental health issues.  From 15 1/2 years of age to 18 years of age.  Charges were pressed in one foster care home for assaulting her foster mom.   

  

As far as insurance goes there is a maximum of 6 months for a residential facility.  Even while she was in the state's care...I visited her 3 times a week and talked to her daily on the phone.  What's so dismal here...the professionals were not able to help her; including two doctors who resigned from her care.  I don't know if the care is much better today.  And the fact that she did have to be removed from the home. 

  

Effects on me...major depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, STRESS.  And to tell you the truth I am only starting to feel better now. 

  

When I was younger I thought I had a unique child who was incapable of help.  That's not so.  I look back and one thing I would do differently is find a doctor who speciallzes in bipolar disorder.  I did not have the knowledge then to know what to do...I was out there alone.  

  

The psychiatrists outlook: they would run away to the inner city become drug addicts, prostitutes, criminals, and commit suicide by the time they were 15.  Well, my younger daughter to do drugs and she did have some illegal activity...however, no longer so...I stopped her every step of the way to include calling the police and she was placed at in a drug treatment program for 1 month and at a girls ranch for 7 months...to get her clean and sober.  After she came home (she turned 18 in 3 months) she left my home and went back to drugs, criminal activity, and lewd sexual activity.  However, my older daughter did not....the doctor was convinced this was going to happen to her...100%, but, it did not.    

  

Even though she was in a residential facility and then in foster care/group home.  I did visit and contact her and nurtured/mothered her.  This never stopped. 

  

I took my children all over the country and overseas on vacations.  I pursued as normal of a lifestyle as possible and gave them as much of a sense of family and security as a family with no mental health concern.  Of course, the doctors thought I was nuts taking them anywhere and couldn't believe I would put myself the anxiety/stress that happened when on vacations.      

  

The good news...now 27 & 22...even though they still have the same mental health issues...they are living fairly healthy lives and my older daughter recognizes her rages and is able to control them...if no one keeps pushing her.  They are now "sisters"...they giggle/laugh, tell secrets to each other, talk all the time, cry on each others shoulders, and do things together.  What a joy. 

  

One thing that is periodically mentioned on this board (however they say in lieu of medications...don't stop meds.  Her doctor will adjust medications as necessary.  Ensure a healthy balanced diet and exercise...this does make a difference.  I kept my older daughter in sports (swimming)...this took a lot of energy and did slow down some of the rages...and she continued meds. 

 

Well, you already know how hard it is...and hopefully you can see that you are not alone.  I gave you some ideas on what I had to do and hopefully you can take from there.  I hope this helps you in your decision making process and you still need to be able to protect your other child.  I will gladly communicate my experiences with you if you want and tell you what I did in certain situations...the decisions you make are your own.  Remember you're not alone...there is support on this board.  

  

Hang in there 

Rhonda   

This is my first post since joining this message board.  My 19 year old son also suffers from Bipolar with Psychotic episodes.  He was hospitalized in January because he was afraid that he was going to hurt himself.  He feels sad and depressed alot of the time.  He has been on several different medications and Abilify seems to have helped with the Psychotic episodes and has helped with the auditory hallucinations that come with that.  But his mood swings are still terrible and he is still struggeling with the depression.  He has had a rough week this week.  He has been uable to work and has been on SDI since his hospitilization.  He like you feels that there is no light at the end of the tunnel at times but the counselers he has have been wonderful with him and with me in assuring him that this disease is treatable, it is just a matter of finding the right medications and it sometimes just takes time.  It is hard to believe that sometimes when you are suffering, it is also hard to believe when you are watching someone suffer as well, but you have to trust what the professionals say and another thing is that if you have a Dr. or Counselor that you feel is not helping you or supportive of your disease it is your right to find a new Dr. that will help you. I had to do that with my son.  So hang in there.  Even though it doesn't seem like it at the time you are going through the hard times things do get better,

should of edited this better. hvent been on the post for a bit. I was feeling so empty and numb that i was tired of feeling that way and do i went off all my meds. Then came the negative thoughts the sleepless nights and yelling at the boys for nothing. the slamming of the cupboards. and crying on the couch. so do i want to feel numb and empty and then cut or do i want to go on the rollar coaster ride of emotions. i dont know. i see my doctor wed. and i dont know what to say to him. i dont know what i am feeling. i am just here. i want to with drawl from my congregation and think people are talking against me. what a mess i am right now. i dont deserve anyones love or affection. Cant concentrate very much. anyway i dont know if this is the bi polar or BPD. they inter twine so much it confuses me. i have a convention to go to on Sat. and the anxiety is already building. i hope i can get thru the day. thanks for reading this.

You do know what to tell the doctor. Tell him exactly what's on this post. You obviously are not doing well on the meds he has you on and you sure aren't doing well off them. Either print this post out and take it to him or journal it to take to him. I don't think people are talking against you--I think you are thinking that because you are off your meds. Don't say or do anything you will regret later. Take it easy and tell your doctor the truth. Hang in.