Topic : Bipolar Disorder

This is Em. I had to use my old sign in name. Hey girl!!! How are you doing? I found a great way for us to communicate privately but I need you to send me just ONE e-mail. Just ONE. :o) filledwithpeace@hotmail.com

I hope to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel, how long have you been feeling high? I am worried you are starting a High Mania, Are you taking meds? Is there anyone with you to help? I really know that it starts out good...but then it is out of control...Please be careful. Lorrie

I know. Yes I take my meds. But due to a change I have to tough this one out. I was taking Lamictal and it was working great, ( I take a cocktail combo for my bp1 ) but I am one of the rare people who develope a reaction to it. So I had to give it up. So right now I am on 300mg Seroquel, 200mg Topamax, 400mg Vistiral, and they are talking about adding Lithium to the blend.

I see my shrink again on the 8th so I don't have too long to wait. I am supposed to give the Seroquel time to get to the therapudic dose to see if it will work, but the problem is that my nerves are shot, I am just irritable and tense and I feel like I could just crawl out of my skin.

It dosen't help that I am a rapid cylcer and I am Schzo-Affective to boot. All that really means is I can't ride in a car because any type of aggressive driving either totally freaks me out, and leaves me shaking in fear, or pisses me of and chasing them down for a confrontation.

I have ADHD too. I was diagnoised when I was 4. I grew up thinking that I was damaged goods because of it. That and lots of verbal and physical abuse added to the mix and you get one very bitter and angry adult with no idea on how to come to terms with the fact that the people who were supposed to love her actually may have caused her to have this disease!

OK that turned into a rant. I didn't mean for it to, but it did. I am not trying to be rude to you with that last paragraph at all, so I hope you don't mind me leaving it in. It's the first time I actually admitted that to myself.

Anyway I am just trying to ride this one out until my meds can get straight again. It is like learning how tothink all over again. Angel

I'll post a little longer.

Jack and I had to drive from the northeast to the south last week. We had multiple problems with the rental car-carrying trailer that attached to our rental truck, which caused us to be stranded twice, for 5 hours each time, in the lovely 90 degree humidity. I take things pretty much in stride, but I was really impressed with my BP Jack. He didn't snap or throw any of his fits. We were able to "make lemons out of lemonade" by killing the time with some strangers we met. We hung out with a friendly older couple, who let us wait for the emergency mechanic in their home at 10:00 at night. The guy was a retired Green Beret and a martial arts black belt. (Maybe this is why he wasn't hesitant to let strangers in his house!) We spent time looking at his medals and hearing his war stories.Then somebikerswe met when we broke downin Alabama were planning on vacationing up where we live next week, so we were able to give themideas for their trip.So while the trailer problems were a major hassle, it was pretty cool to connect withtypes ofpeople outside our usual circles.

BEKA: Stay strong. I know that in similar situations what has worked for me is keeping very, very busy, so I didn't have time to sit around and think too much. Also, the exposure to new people and things made mefocus on the future, and helped me realize that there was a lot more to ME than my "old life." Ever notice that when you strike up conversations with new people, they actually LISTEN and are interested? That's revitalizing too. You're a great girl, and you have a great future ahead. I actually was in your neck of the woods last week and briefly thought about looking you up, but didn't in case it would have freaked you out!