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Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Number of Replies: 6639
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:57:16 am
Author : dataimport

Patients suffering from Bipolar disorder face many difficult challenges. Share your story and get support from those who understand.

 

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Depressed

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worried
October 7, 2005, 10:20 am PDT

messed up big time

i have been off my meds for a couple of months now because i gained weight on them. i have really messed up big time. i thought i could handle being off my meds,but i know now that is impossible. i went and took out a few of those payday loans and they took the $ out of my acct when the $ wasn't there. now my bank is overdrawn by hundreds of $ and i tried to hide it from my husband. he found out because we received a notice in the mail from the bank. he was so angry with me and i don't blame him one bit. he is always there to pick up my broken pieces.i feel worthless and i ifeel like a complete f*** up. he is very angry that i got off my meds due to gaining just 15lbs ( which i really needed to gain anyway) i have been married for 20yrs to this man and the past 5yrs have been hell.( because of me)he went and talked to the bank and they waived a couple of fees and he had to freeze our acct. it helped a little but we are still pretty screwed. the bad thing about all this is that i am a nurse at a psych hospital and i know the importance of meds and med compliance.i am so reckless when i am off my medication. i have done things i am not proud of. bipolar disorder is a horrible,life altering disease.i also have MS so i have a double whammy i am dealing with. i just wanted to get this off  my chest , i have been making myself sick for the past couple of weeks worrying about this. i don't know if i can ever make it up to my husband for all i have put him through.he isn't perfect but he has been there for me.i am back on my meds and i will never get off them again!
 

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quiet
October 7, 2005, 3:57 pm PDT

Bipolar 2

My teenage daughter was in the state hospital twice at the end of 2004. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is on the upswing and doing very well. I found out that I am bipolar also. I had undergone misdiagnosis for 27 years. I was always diagnosed as having clinical depression. Well, I didn't really get any better. I still had problems on and off for years. The anti-depressants worked short term and never really got rid of my suicidal tendencies. I spent each day wishing to die. I didn't want to live at all. It all became very normal for me and I managed day to day. Now that I am taking the appropriate medication, I am feeling better and less willing to allow people to walk all over me. Hurray, to the doctor that finally helped me find me.
 
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Relaxed

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quiet
October 8, 2005, 4:38 am PDT

You are telling MY story!

Quote From: noemialani

My teenage daughter was in the state hospital twice at the end of 2004. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is on the upswing and doing very well. I found out that I am bipolar also. I had undergone misdiagnosis for 27 years. I was always diagnosed as having clinical depression. Well, I didn't really get any better. I still had problems on and off for years. The anti-depressants worked short term and never really got rid of my suicidal tendencies. I spent each day wishing to die. I didn't want to live at all. It all became very normal for me and I managed day to day. Now that I am taking the appropriate medication, I am feeling better and less willing to allow people to walk all over me. Hurray, to the doctor that finally helped me find me.

Those were truly awful years, were they not?  How I ever managed to build a career and raise two children as a single mother still amazes me.   

  

The newer meds are a God send, at least for me.  I was scared almost to death to try them after my experiences with the old ones and it was truly "hope and poke" treatment for almost a year and had to take an early retirement to get through it, but I glad I stuck with it.  Ya, I still have episodes but they are much milder and shorter now.  Ya, I've gained 30 pounds too.  Oh well! 

 
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quiet
October 8, 2005, 5:02 am PDT

It happens...

Quote From: nursejan

i have been off my meds for a couple of months now because i gained weight on them. i have really messed up big time. i thought i could handle being off my meds,but i know now that is impossible. i went and took out a few of those payday loans and they took the $ out of my acct when the $ wasn't there. now my bank is overdrawn by hundreds of $ and i tried to hide it from my husband. he found out because we received a notice in the mail from the bank. he was so angry with me and i don't blame him one bit. he is always there to pick up my broken pieces.i feel worthless and i ifeel like a complete f*** up. he is very angry that i got off my meds due to gaining just 15lbs ( which i really needed to gain anyway) i have been married for 20yrs to this man and the past 5yrs have been hell.( because of me)he went and talked to the bank and they waived a couple of fees and he had to freeze our acct. it helped a little but we are still pretty screwed. the bad thing about all this is that i am a nurse at a psych hospital and i know the importance of meds and med compliance.i am so reckless when i am off my medication. i have done things i am not proud of. bipolar disorder is a horrible,life altering disease.i also have MS so i have a double whammy i am dealing with. i just wanted to get this off  my chest , i have been making myself sick for the past couple of weeks worrying about this. i don't know if i can ever make it up to my husband for all i have put him through.he isn't perfect but he has been there for me.i am back on my meds and i will never get off them again!

to the best of us.  It's just the insidious nature of mental disorders.  Our minds and emotions play mean tricks on us and if we are lucky we have loved ones who pick up the pieces.  AND we wallow in guilt and remorse once clarity sets back in, which it always does.

  

 

  

 

One thing I have done to prevent such future financial set backs is to relinquish my bank accounts to my husband only.  I get an adequate household allowance which I can spend as I choose but I can’t rack up any debts.  We do most of the routine shopping together, just in case I get “in a spending mood.”

  

 

 
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Worried

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blank
October 8, 2005, 5:21 am PDT

hi everyone

I posted a message yesterday but i don't see it posted, maybe i did it wrong this board is kinda confusing. Any way i wanted to tell people thxs for welcoming me to the board. I myself don't have a disorder but my older sister does, so i would appreaciate any helpful thoughts or ideas from all of you to better inform me. I will also lend an ear if ever u need one, its always nice to make new friends!  Hope everyone is having a good week-end!  Its getting cold here in michigan...YUK!  I have to clean out  the garage today.. double yuk!    patty
 
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Relaxed

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blank
October 8, 2005, 5:24 am PDT

Midwife75...New Here

Just wanted to introduce myself.  I am a 56, YO wife, mother of 7 and grandmother to 6..  Recently retired to focus on the "hope and poke" method of treating bipolar type 2.  Success with Effexor and Depakote. 
 
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Relaxed

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happy
October 8, 2005, 5:27 am PDT

Bipolar Disorder

Quote From: shalimar41

I posted a message yesterday but i don't see it posted, maybe i did it wrong this board is kinda confusing. Any way i wanted to tell people thxs for welcoming me to the board. I myself don't have a disorder but my older sister does, so i would appreaciate any helpful thoughts or ideas from all of you to better inform me. I will also lend an ear if ever u need one, its always nice to make new friends!  Hope everyone is having a good week-end!  Its getting cold here in michigan...YUK!  I have to clean out  the garage today.. double yuk!    patty
Welcome, Patty.  You can count me as a new friend.
 
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Worried

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blank
October 8, 2005, 6:49 am PDT

thxs midwife

Quote From: shalimar41

I posted a message yesterday but i don't see it posted, maybe i did it wrong this board is kinda confusing. Any way i wanted to tell people thxs for welcoming me to the board. I myself don't have a disorder but my older sister does, so i would appreaciate any helpful thoughts or ideas from all of you to better inform me. I will also lend an ear if ever u need one, its always nice to make new friends!  Hope everyone is having a good week-end!  Its getting cold here in michigan...YUK!  I have to clean out  the garage today.. double yuk!    patty
thxs midwife, always nice to meet new people. I am from michigan. where are u from?  
 
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Depressed

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chillin'
October 8, 2005, 10:30 am PDT

Bipolar Disorder

Quote From: midwife75

to the best of us.  It's just the insidious nature of mental disorders.  Our minds and emotions play mean tricks on us and if we are lucky we have loved ones who pick up the pieces.  AND we wallow in guilt and remorse once clarity sets back in, which it always does.

  

 

  

 

One thing I have done to prevent such future financial set backs is to relinquish my bank accounts to my husband only.  I get an adequate household allowance which I can spend as I choose but I can’t rack up any debts.  We do most of the routine shopping together, just in case I get “in a spending mood.”

  

 

i am taking my name off the acct and he is going to have the checking acct. i don't want to risk another one of these episodes.i am just glad i have a husband that loves me. 

 
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Depressed

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blank
October 8, 2005, 1:30 pm PDT

need some advice

  

 I posted a letter a week or so ago, and no one has responded. Maybe I did it wrong, who knows? Anyway I am new to this board, I posted on the old one. I am the mom of a 22 year old bi-polar daughter. She was doing so well for about 7 months, and then after getting her disability, she decided to become non-compliant. Also she is a drug user, pot being her drug of choice. Long story short, she got mixed up with the wrong guy, and they committed Grand Larceny against her stepdad and I. She is now in jail, and I know that she needs to pay her dues, but it's hard to see her there. They have her back on her meds, and thank God she has no choice but to take them. 

 Just wondering if anybody else has had to deal with this particular problem. I would welcome any comments. 

 Cat 

 
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