Topic : Bipolar Disorder

To My Child (don't delete ~ its being tracked)
Be sure and read to the bottom portion.....

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them. Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day..............

Do you have meds to help you sleep?  I take temazepam for sleep, in addition to Lamictal and Abilify.  They all work together, but the Temazepam has helped me avoid sleepless nights.  I have the flexibility to adjust the dose from 15 mg to 30 mg as needed...If 30 mg doesn't do it, then I can also raise the dose of my Abilify...my doctor allowing me to adjust my doses (within limits) has been very helpful to me.

Lack of sleep just perpetuates the problems...I hate racing thoughts...in the depressed end of things, in severe cases, I experience total shut-down...racing thoughts that freeze me up to the point of not being able to move or effectively communicate...and we have kids that need me functional...the meds really are a life saver (literally).

We've all been there, and we are all in different places in our treatment, but it is nice to talk to others who have experienced the same things, and to help those who need it.  Our experience as a whole is of great help to others.  I know that I have been greatly helped by having a place to vent anonymously, and express my different moods and thoughts.

Thanks for being here with the rest of us...Becky

PS  If insomnia is an on-going problem, you might want to talk with your doctor about having a sleep study done...there could be an underlying sleep disorder that is making things worse for you.  I had a sleep study which revealed Narcolepsy, and later, Sleep Apnea.  Two of our boys inherited Restless Leg Syndrome from my husband...getting on the right meds has made a huge difference for all of us.

They say and I have learned being in Psych that we all have some sort of illness. And if you are anything like me I have tried to refute this argument with only one realization coming out of it and that is that we all have our quirks. I have totally been to this end of the spectrum. One day I'm on top of the world and the next I'm crashing at the bottom sometimes it's days sometimes it's minutes but either way when I start seeing the signs for some reason that's when all he** brakes loose. Although I have never been afraid to tell anybody anything when it comes to feeling a little off kilter that is when I clam up. I have been seeing my Dr. for over 6 years and when people say you should switch every few years I think "man where would I be with someone new"

For some reason throughout my life I have always felt a little different at some points in my life. There are times that I want to snap, there are times when I think about death, there are times when I feel like a Rock Star and times when I can't stand myself. I have been on Prozac. Selixia, Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta, and finally Effexor for the previous decade. During this time I was feeling great and bad, sometimes reliving the days past minute by minute and sometimes forgetting what I was going to do in the next 10 Min's. I have always been extremely high strung and wiggly but able to work well under pressure and be an A student. But there was always something "not right". So what would I do? either quit cold turkey or take more than I should (we all have did it) Not the smartest experiment that I have done....

Although doing this I have realized that there is a problem at times and there is also not at other times. I get comments from all kinds telling me to slow down or that I am just a firecracker and I always refute that with I'm ADHD...Well I finally listened a few weeks ago and researched ADHD. And guess what I have it!!! That was almost the best news I have ever received. Although I just started Strattera this week and am switching meds I am hopeful this is finally it. Although I can almost guarantee you it's not.

One thing I have learned from going through my own psych evaluation is this: As long as I'm not 100% I will make an effort to become that. When you can recognize that you have already made it up the mountain, why not sit back and glide down being reassured along the way that it will be a soft landing...

Don't be afraid of it and succumb to it. And remember that if eveybody was the same we would all be bored!

torifaith and faith, thank you so much for replying.

I did indeed spoke to my doctor yesterday and he gave me the response I've been getting for over 10 years now....sorry, can't do nothing, except for adding yet another drug. I realize I should not quite my meds, but I certainly don't wan't to add another one to it.....I'm already feeling a bit 'drugged up' at times as it is already, and I fear another will make that worse. I take lithium and Tegretol (if that's the English name as well), and now he decided to up the Tegretol. I hope it helps!  He says they don't start trying new meds until I've taking these for at least a few months, so we'll see what happens. I'm just gonna be positive about it I guess.

Problem for me is....me. All this time I've been running as fast as I can to keep up with the life I had, and it's hitting me in the face right now. It's getting really hard to stay in college, keep up with things etc. That's why I'm so anxious to get the meds right; I'm afraid that if I'll lose control I won't be able to get it back. All that pressure adds, I mean, if I get kicked out of college I won't be able to go back.....I know those are things I should not be concerned with now, but still, I can't help it.

But you're right when you say one (me) has to be patient and positive. And that's what I'm gonna be. It's sure nice to be able to read stories by other people, and post questions and stuff. I don't know anyone else who is bipolar. And it gives me hope to hear you're back in college :)

Thanks again.

  I going to share with you right now why the message board helps me because i am very isolated person. Well here there is no judgment or really my problem is body-space.I never get uncomfortable see at home that is my comfort zone if there is any thing i can ever do please don't be affaid to ask.

 PS Beckey i didn't forget you i read your message thanks

  Sorry to hear that my little boy is bipolar w/adhd i have cancer and he is ............ well he goes in -out of the hospital {Mental} I will give you my son's list and please know what works for some don't work for others and in the start it was very hard and let me tell you why it was hard for us and I did say us all of our house hold took part this was not only  Tyler that needed help i went so support group's and he goes to our local MHMR for therapy {play therapy} His Dr and case manger etc any how he takes 7 different med.'s and that too can be very hard though out his life time as i said some respond different  and finding the right combination and it will take time to see if it will work it has to build up in his system and the good news is after a while you will see sign i call them RED FLAGS the other thing i really want to shield light on is in MY EXPERIENCE no med. that Tyler took is going to make him all better and he' not going to grow out of it either but that is what gives me the strength to give it my all is people who are Bipolar does not mean they can't be successful their not given a chance to I don't want to offend anyone when i said that but what the point iam getting at is I want to give Tyler the tools and the thing I tell him every night the sun has set a new chance rises in the morning.

Meds

1.Rispedal / 1mg. > 1 & 1/2 @ bed

2.Rittalin / 5mg. > 2 @ morning 1 & 1/2 @ Lunch

3. Clondine / 0.2 mg > 1 @ bed

4Depakote ER / 250 mg > 1 @ morning / 2 @ bed

5.Amitriptyline / 25 mg > 1 @ bed

6.Benztrpine / .5 mg > 1@ morining / 2 @ bed

7.-- E.R---- Only to be used   

Many of the symptoms of ADHD overlap with symptoms of bipolar disorder.  We have three boys, two of whom were originally diagnosed with ADHD, and they were on Adderall for a number of years.  The Adderall worsened the moods of our middle son to the point of violence.  We changed doctors, and the new psychiatrist says that it is probably bipolar diorder with ADHD mixed in.

As part of the diagnosis process (and against the wishes of the original psychiatrist), we had sleep studies done on all three of the boys.  It turns out that the oldest son has Narcolepsy, NOT ADHD...the fight to stay awake all the time mimicked ADHD symptoms.  The middle son has Narcolepsy AND Restless Leg Syndrome, which affect his moods and ability to pay attention.  The youngest son has Restless Leg Syndrome, which affects the ability to go into the stage 4 (or REM) sleep, therefore causing fatigue and tiredness...with grouchy moods and inability to pay attention.

The middle son is being treated for the above, plus for bipolar disorder.  Because of a heart arrhythmia, the kids NEVER should have been on Adderall to begin with, but the arrhythmia hadn't been diagnosed yet.  I never liked the side effects of Adderall.

The Provigil, for Narcolepsy, is also being clinically tested for ADHD.  I'm not sure if it is approved for kids, but it is a lot safer that Adderall...doesn't have many side effects at all.  I take it for Narcolepsy, and it also helps my depression.

Our middle son is on Requip for the restless leg syndrome, Provigil for the Narcolepsy, and Lamictal for the bipolar symptoms.  Lamictal hasn't been approved for use in kids either.

You might want to ask the doctor about Neurontin.  That is what our middle son took when he was younger to help control the anger issues.  There is also Depakote, which is approved for kids.  Young babies even take Depakote (for seizure diorders).  Many of the bipolar drugs were originally developed for seizure disorders, and were found to be effective as mood stabilizers. 

Natural remedies are not FDA appproved, and don't usually work very well.  It can be more dangerous than the known drugs.  Ask your son's doctor about Neurontin and Depakote...those might be good options for him.  Also, ask about Provigil for the attention problems. 

A high percentage of kids with attention problems have an underlying sleep disorder...you might want to talk with the doctor about this too.  With learning disabilities too, you have your hands full.  Your grandson deserves to have all options looked at.

I take Lamictal and Abilify for the bipolar disorder, Temazepam for sleep, and Provigil for Narcolepsy.  This is a really good combination for me, with few side effects.

Lamictal and Abilify are fairly new drugs.  Lamictal has been linked to Stevens Johnsons syndrome, a severe allergic reaction (which can actually happen even with Tylenol).  It is very rare, but more common in kids, so many doctors don't want to prescribe Lamictal for young kids.

Was Paxil determined to be the cause of the birth defects?

You've been through so much...you must be a very strong woman to withstand all of that.  It is so fortunate that your grandson has you.  I wish you well...welcome to the board...please keep us posted on his progress, and feel free to come here to ask questions, get support, and anything else that you need.

Becky

It takes time for meds to take effect, and to see how well they are working.  Your doctor is right not to be making changes, except in the dosages.  If these meds aren't working after a few months, then your doctor might be willing to make changes.

I was once on 5 different meds at the same time for the bipolar...what a mess...some meds were to combat the side effects of others...after changing docs, I am on a completely different set of meds...only 2 for the bipolar, and I am doing better than I ever have.

I still cannot stand stress...it really messes with my moods.  I am not working outside the home because of this...the stress of being with people, and having to be at work at a certain time...trying to run the rest of my life (married with three boys, ages 9, 14, and 19)...I am on SSDI, after working for 20 years, and being horribly stressed and erratic the whole time.

Have you considered cutting back to part-time for the college, and lightening your load?...school is so stressful, and being overloaded can lead to disaster.

Keep up the positive attitude...there is hope, and there are a lot of good drugs out there, if the ones you're on don't work after a few months...do some research online, so you'll be armed with info when you see the doctor.

Becky