Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Quote From: marthapax

 Becky, I was starting to answer your questions when my Mom went totally OFF! I had just gotten home and my other sister was with her, and she called me saying Mom was acting up.  I had food on the stove and in the oven and thought I would see my husband for five minutes when I had to leave.

I went over and she complained of having chest pains (she goes through this because she wants drugs, and has had every test imagineable and nothing is found.)  She told me they started "two hours ago."  I lost it.  I gave her hell, I'll admit.  I asked her why she waited until I got all the way home, when they started while I was still there!  I got so mad at her.  Then she threatened my sister-said she was going to knock the (*&% out of her!  I told her she WILL NOT hit anyone taking care of her at any time and I will not have that. Then she threatened to do the same to me, and I told her that would be her last mistake of that day because she would go to the psych unit, and there was no sense in her carrying on like that. She started scratching herself up and dug her nails into her face, making horrible marks and started hurting herself again.

When my older sister got home from work she threatened to hit her because she wasn't getting what she wanted!  We both said that was IT and took her to the ER.  When we got there she got mad because she had to wait (only about 30 minutes) like everyone else, and when she got into the treatment room she started demanding "a shot of Demerol or Morphine"  The doctors and nurses all know her by first name, know her history of drug seeking, and we all told her that this was not the way to treat itching, that she has no rash or hives anywhere, and she was NOT getting drugs.  They put her on Doxepin which zonked her. We had the ER nurses and doctor document her behavior and the marks on her because she later said she was going to tell the doctor that we have been abusing her!  The doctor and the security guard stood back and watched her digging holes in herself and this was documented so we won't have an issue with social services or the police!  After she found out she was not getting her drugs of choice, she did not want to listen to anything further the doctor had to say, nor would she cooperate with anything else and demanded to go home immediately.
Now she has quit eating and refuses to drink anything, and is in the hospital with kidney issues.  My sister and I talked yesterday and we feel kind of bad for fussing at her, but she brought all this on herself because she is that stubborn when she doesn't get her way.  I don't know what is wrong with her.  We've tried psychiatrists but she just completely shuts down and will not cooperate, and ends up insulting them and they can't make her listen.  She wants what she wants and she wants 100%!  I don't know if this is a psychiatric condition or just plain meanness and self-centeredness.  But the lengths she goes to get her way is unbelievable. She would be a learning experience for Dr. Phil!

Thanks Becky, for letting me vent.  Hope everyone else is doing o.k.  Hugs to you all.

Quote From: mustbecrazy

Wow, your mom sounds like a hand full, even for the professionals...have the doctors done any extensive psychological testing?  That would probably be difficult when your mom is so uncooperative.  Does she have any kind of early signs of dementia?  Dementia will cause personality changes before other signs show up...or has your mom always been this way?  I think you mentioned past abuse by her toward you and your siblings.

 

Take care...Becky

Quote From: marthapax

 Mom has had problems all her life with drugs and alcohol-that's how she got through life.  She abused us when we were kids, telling us she never wanted us and that we were all accidents, told us she had cancer twice when she did not, cut and hurt herself for attention.  One day she was screaming and crying and pleading for my Dad to take her to the hospital so she could get some drugs, and he refused, and I know she deliberately fell and slammed her face on the side of the stove and cut her cheek open! Once she shot herself in a non-lethal area (upper arm with a 22!)
My brother got the worst of the abuse because he was the only boy and she treated him worse than she ever treated the girls.  I remember once she cornered him up in his room and he was screaming and pleading while she beat him all over with a belt!  It was horrible!
She may be 82 years old, but she knows EXACTLY what she's doing!  They have this mental assessment sheet at the doctor's office and she can snap off the correct answers without barely a thought!  She is alert and oriented to date, time, whereabouts, birthday, what her last meal was-EVERYTHING.  It behooves me why she acts as she does!
I lost it with her the other night because she wanted to go to the ER and the first thing out of her mouth was she wanted a shot of Demerol. We said no.  Then she said she wanted Morphine (which she is allergic to) and we told her she was absolutely not going to get drugs, and the doctor told her this was not a treatment for itching and refused her any narcotic.  She shut down right after that, wanted to leave, and would not listen, cooperate, or accept any further suggestions or alternative treatment!  She beats all I've ever encountered, and I've been in the medical field for 29 years!  The doctors say she is the most resistant patient they've ever known-doctors who've been in the medical field a lot longer than I!
I feel guilty for fussing at her sometimes, and sometimes in the back of my mind I think "Oh, it's payback time."  But I can't bring myself to abuse her, thank God.  If my sister and I get to that point we just stick together and care for her together.  All her self abuse has been documented by doctors so she can't say we abused her.  I pray to God every day to deliver us from this torment, and then I feel guilty because I sometimes wish she would pass on so we can finally see some peace in our lives.
Thanks Becky.  It helps to ventilate.  I don't see how I've maintained all this time, but I just do not let the depression get me down.  If I start getting down, I get myself busy with something, whether I want to do it or not, and usually I can get through. I think I've crocheted enough to cover the Sears Tower and the Taj Mahal! Being able to post here helps a lot.  Hugs to you, Marty.

Quote From: jala04

i read your story and feel deeply for you every body has problems and i find for the most part people don't care. i feel for you and myself growing up in an abusive house hold leads to youself going into relationships of abuse because thats all we know i did that to. hang in there and be proud of who you became.

 

jala04

Quote From: jala04

hi , this is great finnaly able to chat with people who understand!!!! to make along story short i was married he had an affair even moved her in our house while i was very ill during my pregnacy. now he is with her thank god and out of our lives he was also abused me during and after my pregnacy i ended up with a broken nose. no one new what was wrong with me. i was diagnosed with post pardom depression then biplar now hypo mania. i've gone throgh some very hard times suside attempts (many) overdosing (many) I was  interduced to cocaine and was an addict till i put myself in rehab. (clean 2 years ) i would have never gotten through every thing if it wasn't for my parents. now im engaged im on all differnt medication since i changed phyiatrists he's a god sent hope to talk to anyone!

Quote From: marthapax

 It sounds like you're on the right track.  It took me many years of mistakes before I started getting it right. 
My family threw my butt in a treatment center when I was 25 and made me stay there, and though I was angry at them at the time, 22 years later I have come to appreciate what they did, and understand why they did it.  My Dad saw me clean before died, and for that I am truly grateful.  He died a couple of months after I got out of treatment.  We spent the whole day together the day before, and instead of arguing and bickering-his preaching and my snapping his head off, we talked like two adults that really loved and cared for each other.  The next day he was gone and I never saw him again.
I agree with what Dr. Phil says about how we treat each other, especially family members, because they can go away and we may never see them again.  Being unable to part on good terms will eat at you for a long time.  I'm more careful of this now.
Keep us posted as to how you are doing.  Hugs to you, Marty.

Quote From: kalie1000

Hey there everyone. Glad the board is finally back. I've really been missing it, and going through withdrawals. Been missing talking to all of you. My last week has been a week from hell. My roommate went to Sudbury saying she was driving a transport down there to drop off a load, and coming back with hay. The boys were supposed to be staying with her ex and had already been there a couple of days. Well the day she left (Sunday) I get a call from him saying she was supposed to get them yesterday (Sat) and if I don't come get them he's calling CAS. I ended up going to get them even though I had little money, gas or food. First couple of days were o.k. Then food was really low, boys less helpful and mom didn't come back Wed like she was supposed to. The one son took off once 1 day and twice the next day. Police were involved, CAS called and kids taken into custody even though mom was coming home tonight. They told CAS about being pushed down the stairs and hit. Luckily I've talked to the mother, hay is supposed to come tomorrow morning, she doesn't blame me for anything (I'm not the one who called CAS and it's been made clear to her by others). There's also talk that she may be moving to Sudbury, but she says no. I really don't know what the heck is going on anymore. There's other B.S. going on too as in I've heard threats from both sides towards the other - not directly to the other but being told what they plan to do to the other. On top of this, I'm completely out of my meds now, and am also sick. Went to the hospital today. Not sure but probably bronchitis. Just know my throat hurts like ****, entire body hurts especially neck shoulders and hips, chest is tight, ear cannals sore and running a fever. They gave me a couple of antibiotics and a script.

I am very happy that the board is back (although it's going to take some getting used to) and glad to be able to talk to you all again.