Topic : Bipolar Disorder

Quote From: marthapax

 Mom has had problems all her life with drugs and alcohol-that's how she got through life.  She abused us when we were kids, telling us she never wanted us and that we were all accidents, told us she had cancer twice when she did not, cut and hurt herself for attention.  One day she was screaming and crying and pleading for my Dad to take her to the hospital so she could get some drugs, and he refused, and I know she deliberately fell and slammed her face on the side of the stove and cut her cheek open! Once she shot herself in a non-lethal area (upper arm with a 22!)
My brother got the worst of the abuse because he was the only boy and she treated him worse than she ever treated the girls.  I remember once she cornered him up in his room and he was screaming and pleading while she beat him all over with a belt!  It was horrible!
She may be 82 years old, but she knows EXACTLY what she's doing!  They have this mental assessment sheet at the doctor's office and she can snap off the correct answers without barely a thought!  She is alert and oriented to date, time, whereabouts, birthday, what her last meal was-EVERYTHING.  It behooves me why she acts as she does!
I lost it with her the other night because she wanted to go to the ER and the first thing out of her mouth was she wanted a shot of Demerol. We said no.  Then she said she wanted Morphine (which she is allergic to) and we told her she was absolutely not going to get drugs, and the doctor told her this was not a treatment for itching and refused her any narcotic.  She shut down right after that, wanted to leave, and would not listen, cooperate, or accept any further suggestions or alternative treatment!  She beats all I've ever encountered, and I've been in the medical field for 29 years!  The doctors say she is the most resistant patient they've ever known-doctors who've been in the medical field a lot longer than I!
I feel guilty for fussing at her sometimes, and sometimes in the back of my mind I think "Oh, it's payback time."  But I can't bring myself to abuse her, thank God.  If my sister and I get to that point we just stick together and care for her together.  All her self abuse has been documented by doctors so she can't say we abused her.  I pray to God every day to deliver us from this torment, and then I feel guilty because I sometimes wish she would pass on so we can finally see some peace in our lives.
Thanks Becky.  It helps to ventilate.  I don't see how I've maintained all this time, but I just do not let the depression get me down.  If I start getting down, I get myself busy with something, whether I want to do it or not, and usually I can get through. I think I've crocheted enough to cover the Sears Tower and the Taj Mahal! Being able to post here helps a lot.  Hugs to you, Marty.

Quote From: jala04

i read your story and feel deeply for you every body has problems and i find for the most part people don't care. i feel for you and myself growing up in an abusive house hold leads to youself going into relationships of abuse because thats all we know i did that to. hang in there and be proud of who you became.

 

jala04

Quote From: jala04

hi , this is great finnaly able to chat with people who understand!!!! to make along story short i was married he had an affair even moved her in our house while i was very ill during my pregnacy. now he is with her thank god and out of our lives he was also abused me during and after my pregnacy i ended up with a broken nose. no one new what was wrong with me. i was diagnosed with post pardom depression then biplar now hypo mania. i've gone throgh some very hard times suside attempts (many) overdosing (many) I was  interduced to cocaine and was an addict till i put myself in rehab. (clean 2 years ) i would have never gotten through every thing if it wasn't for my parents. now im engaged im on all differnt medication since i changed phyiatrists he's a god sent hope to talk to anyone!

Quote From: marthapax

 It sounds like you're on the right track.  It took me many years of mistakes before I started getting it right. 
My family threw my butt in a treatment center when I was 25 and made me stay there, and though I was angry at them at the time, 22 years later I have come to appreciate what they did, and understand why they did it.  My Dad saw me clean before died, and for that I am truly grateful.  He died a couple of months after I got out of treatment.  We spent the whole day together the day before, and instead of arguing and bickering-his preaching and my snapping his head off, we talked like two adults that really loved and cared for each other.  The next day he was gone and I never saw him again.
I agree with what Dr. Phil says about how we treat each other, especially family members, because they can go away and we may never see them again.  Being unable to part on good terms will eat at you for a long time.  I'm more careful of this now.
Keep us posted as to how you are doing.  Hugs to you, Marty.

Quote From: kalie1000

Hey there everyone. Glad the board is finally back. I've really been missing it, and going through withdrawals. Been missing talking to all of you. My last week has been a week from hell. My roommate went to Sudbury saying she was driving a transport down there to drop off a load, and coming back with hay. The boys were supposed to be staying with her ex and had already been there a couple of days. Well the day she left (Sunday) I get a call from him saying she was supposed to get them yesterday (Sat) and if I don't come get them he's calling CAS. I ended up going to get them even though I had little money, gas or food. First couple of days were o.k. Then food was really low, boys less helpful and mom didn't come back Wed like she was supposed to. The one son took off once 1 day and twice the next day. Police were involved, CAS called and kids taken into custody even though mom was coming home tonight. They told CAS about being pushed down the stairs and hit. Luckily I've talked to the mother, hay is supposed to come tomorrow morning, she doesn't blame me for anything (I'm not the one who called CAS and it's been made clear to her by others). There's also talk that she may be moving to Sudbury, but she says no. I really don't know what the heck is going on anymore. There's other B.S. going on too as in I've heard threats from both sides towards the other - not directly to the other but being told what they plan to do to the other. On top of this, I'm completely out of my meds now, and am also sick. Went to the hospital today. Not sure but probably bronchitis. Just know my throat hurts like ****, entire body hurts especially neck shoulders and hips, chest is tight, ear cannals sore and running a fever. They gave me a couple of antibiotics and a script.

I am very happy that the board is back (although it's going to take some getting used to) and glad to be able to talk to you all again.

Quote From: mustbecrazy

Hopefully, your SSDI will be approved soon, so you can get the meds that you need.

 

Something that helped me (through counseling) was to realize that it is OK to have the thoughts...just don't act on them...when you find yourself fantasizing, try to find something else to do that will distract you from those thoughts...housework, hobby, etc...When things get bad for me, I have "involuntary" visions of cutting...I haven't cut in years, but the thought is still there...I just don't act on it.

 

I understand about life's circumstances throwing you off track...stress is bad enough without bipolar disorder there to make it worse.

 

Something that my pdoc suggested to take the edge off of anxiety is to take some Benadryl...not a full dose, just a little bit of the liquid...it is cheap and effective.  My middle son has probable Bipolar disorder, and his temper is sometimes awful...the pdoc suggested the Benadryl for him when he is having a bad temper day...it actually does work.  He has allergies too, and we have him take Benadryl at night.  It has the added benefit of helping him sleep.  He also has Restless Leg Syndrome and is on Requip for this, but sometimes, his legs are still restless, and the extra boost of Benadryl is just what he needs.  He also takes Lamictal for the Bipolar disorder, and Provigil for Narcolepsy.  He had a previous diagnosis of ADHD, but the ADHD meds made him even angrier and didn't do anything for his attention span and ability to sit still and do his school work...for that saga, check out the School Issues message board under Teens/Pre-teens.  With his current regimin of meds, his moods are much better,  but he still isn't doing his school work...we are working with the school counselor about this.

 

Anyway, back to the meds...I hope that you can get onto some meds soon.  Is there any way you can see a psychiatrist for some meds now?  I don't know what kind of help there is in your area for seeing the doctor, but many drug companies will provide their meds free of charge to people who don't have insurance and can't afford their meds. 

 

If you feel like you are going over the edge, do go to the hospital for some help...take care...Becky

Quote From: bluebird5101

I never knew that they had a message board like the on the Dr. Phil website, and I think it's so great that they do.  To introduce myself, my name is Kristi and I am a 28 year old female diagnosed with Bipolar I and PTSD.  I have no children, but my boyfriend and I have talked about starting "trying".  I'm so scared about the medication issues when it comes to pregnancy.  My family is VERY supportive.  My mother is my best friend and my lifeline.  I don't work, I am on Social Security Disability.  I'm starting back to school this summer working on my psychology degree.  And I just have to mention that I have 2 dogs that I LOVE very much.  Well, enough about me.  I look forward to getting to know all of you. Hope you have a great day!

Quote From: marthapax

 I like to read about all my medications in the Physician's Desk Reference if you can get your hands on one.  It has just about everything you need to know about your medication, including precautions for pregnancy.