Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

How come all of you made it here and I am still having trouble with this new board?  This is golfallday but I can not get logged in so had to do a switch.  I have tried everything and didn't get it to work.  Did you all get an email to confirm your password or something?  Not me and I have done all I know to do.  Momisme2 I noticed you had some technical questions concerning this new way of doing things too.  Maybe we'll figure it out but until I do please be patient with me if I screw up a time or two.  lol

 

Did any of you see Primetime on ABC tonight about the polygamist girl named Lorree who went back to confront her father about his sexual abuse to her?  It made me sick.  The more I see about this group and their way of life the more offensive it becomes.  If I knew how to contact Lorree I would tell her what a great job she did and how brave she was.  Hooray for her.

 

 

 

 

1. YAY!  Im glad you made it!  Was looking on the show boards for you but didnt see you.  Sorry to hear you are having difficulties as well.  I see others have figured out the paragraph spaces but im still not understanding how to do it.  I used to hit enter a couple times and then I had my paragraphs.  That doesent seem to be  working this time.  We will have to figure it out together as it seems the moderators arent answering my q.   Maybe they moderate the boards different as well now? 

Anyhows... is weird to see you with a different user name.   Im so used to Golfallday that bzbluii(now I know I got that wrong ;) is weird for me.  I bet it is because you dont have an email to confirm. 

1. Its great to see Mj here too!  Glad everyone is slowly but surely finding their way back to the board.  Now we just need to get used to the new format.  Ive had company staying with me and have even more coming on the 5th so I have been busy and havent had much of a chance to read or respond to all the posts.  Sorry if I have overlooked some messages. 

Hope you all have a great day!  (p.s....  im messing with the thingys at top trying to figure the paragraphs so please forgive if this comes up all screwy)

I didn't see that woman but I am not sure if that is the same woman as the one on Donny' D BIG IDEA the other night who was talking about the LOST boy's.  That woman was also brave..  I give her alot of credit too if its not the same person...

 

 

Do any of you all experience this in your life...Please tell me what the heck its called because I was trying to explain this to my husband but really he just DOES NOT GET IT and I even REALLY encouraged him to READ DR. Phil's BOOK and he skimmed through THEN he THOUGHT after finding something he was just able to identify with instead of reading and grasping the WHOLE concept he was Dr. Phil's equal.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

>>Here it is  lets say we weren't sexually abused...we were all involved in an airplane crash..every time we see it on TV <an airplane crash>not because we didn't work out our feelings in TRAUMA therapy....or because.....We see dead bodies.....<an airplane crash>We feel....We feel for the new family's that are effected....We feel......We  see....the airplane devastation.....and for me inside not that I get "CRAZY" because I don't I get sickened...I get saddened...I get...alot of different things...

 

 

Am I not over my airplane crash?  Or do I just have a BIG HEART?  Is this residual effects of abuse...Will this ever go away?  I am speaking of Shasta and her Brother Dillon.  I wasn't Hyper vigilant at my T. V. Screen but I was saying prayers for those kids....And all kids that are abused or kidnapped or taken away!

Hmmmm... now I cant seem to correct the title headers either.  I meant to say Not over it or big heart?  And I still cant figure out the paragraphs!(you have paragraphs.  Fill me in on how you do them?)  So far im not a fan of this new format.  LOL

Back to the subject... I personally think that when people suffer it makes them more aware of others feelings.  You often find those who have suffered greatly are incredibly compassionate and caring and quite in tune with others.  There are those who seem to harden because of it but I think they are the minority.  In my experiences, the more people suffer the more compassion they have towards others.  They have been hurt and do not wish the same on anyone. 

I am like you in feeling quite bad when I see or hear certain things on the news.  It really effects me.  Even to the point where I wont watch much news and make my husband fill me in on whats going on while he buffers for me.   Often times it effects me physically, not just emotionally.   More then a few times I have run to the bathroom literally sick over what I have just seen.  There are even a few Dr. Phil episodes I wont watch.  Course, then I feel like a coward for a bit, but always tell myself it isnt worth it to put myself through that.

So... hyper vigilant?  Could be.  But I lean more towards we just have stronger emotional reactions because of our pasts.  And I dont necesarily think that is a bad thing.  I would prefer stronger emotions then none at all.  :)

Ok, now I am frustrated.  That dang 20 minute rule screwed up the message I was writing and now I am starting over.  They will need to create a new board for all the members who feel like fools for having such a hard time with this new format.   Maybe my username should have been dumb blonde cause I have so much trouble.  I will keep trying to re register my old name, maybe with my DH help I can figure it out.  I'm all for learning new things but it would be nice if they got the kinks out before we fried our brains trying to figure out things that don't even work.  Momisme2 you had paragraphs in one of your posts, I just double space like before.

 

Now if I don't get bumped off cause I take too long to post I want to comment on why we are compassionate with others who have been put thru hell.  I find I have lots of compassion and empathy for people.  Is it because of things I went thru?  Probably but what about the people who get abused and then turn around and hurt someone else the same way?  I find it really weird that while some people learn from what happened to them and would never hurt another person other people turn out to  be the same as their abuser.  My father was an alcoholic and the things our fammily went thru because of it made me want to never put my family thru it.  I can not tolerate drunk people because of it.  So why is it some go completely opposite and stay away from anything related to their abuse while others go right the same direction and still others aren't really effected by it? 

You have posed some interesting questions.  Since not all people who were abused have sympathy for others I am wondering if it has to do with the level of hurt we experienced and  where we are in our fight to overcome it.  I wonder if people who turn around and abuse others have completely blocked out any feelings they have and so they never understand what they are doing to their victims.  I know I blocked out the feelings I had and never dealt with them until I was older and it makes you a cold person toward what anybody thinks or feels.  Once I started learning and dealing with what happened to me then I felt sad for myself and anybody else who has dealt with this. 

 

The expolygamist girl that I saw confronted her father.  He was really a piece of work, not sure if he is just uneducated or has mental problems.  He told her he didn't remember it being that bad for her and thast she was one of the few that he hadn't hardly done anything to at all.  Then he compared it to checking a herd of cattle to see if they were growing and ready for breeding.  I was very happy for her to face him and it was so easy to see what kind of man he is.

Are you still working on your house?  What a big job you tackled.  I'm always happiest when I have projects to work on and then reach a goal.  Something about being focused on something with hubby makes us feel closer.  You must be so glad to be getting things done especially with guests coming.  I feel like I am running a Bed & Breakfast this summer; we have had lots of company too.  But it has been fun and we enjoy seeing everyone. 

 

My summer has been fun but hectic.  It is so hot there are lightening caused wild fires that caused power outages and our air conditioner fried because of it.  We had to stay in a motel overnight until we could get it fixed.  Then someone frauded our credit card acct. for $4000  That's pretty scary.  I used to think those tv commercials about the guy buying a leather bustiea and not paying for it were so funny but not any more.  Don't know if our acct. numbers were stolen while we were on a trip and using the card for hotels, restaraunts, gas, golf, everything, but they are trying to track it down.

 

Hope you have a nice weekend!

 

I just tried using the spell check and heard a gulp like my computer blocked a pop-up so maybe spell check won't be working for me.  Geez I thought that was a neat feature of this new board too.

     Golfallday! Great to see you here on the board. I found the boards before I got an email, they told me it would show up in the bulk so maybe it got put in your trash or maybe they haven't sent it to you. I got one a week after I had been on the boards.

     I hope all is going well for you! Still haven't seen Solo22, she had to evacuate because of hurricane Emily (I think that is the one) a while back and then the boards were down. I hope she and her family are ok.

     I start therapy on Monday so I am nervous and excited, tough to go through all the feelings I have stuffed inside, but excited because I can go forward.

Hi, thanks for your message. Woo-hoo, glad to hear from you. I was worried about you when you said you were taking a break cause things were getting to you.  Glad you are here and excited for your therapy.  I hope it will help.  They say you have to face the demons and recognize the problem before you can actually move on so good luck. 

 

That's too bad about Solo and the hurricane; compared to that  I feel guilty for fretting over my broken shade tree.  A couple months ago a micro burst wind went thru the neighborhood and busted my tree in half.  All that is left is a 5 ft trunk with no top.  Looks pretty funny.  Oh, well, hubby didn't like that tree anyway and wanted to replace it with something prettier, so maybe he will get his wish.

 

I can't figure out what went wrong with me logging on and no email.  I looked in the junk mail and even when I tried to register a new name I had trouble.  There is a help board; if you go to the top and click on 'need help' there is a list of stuff and at the bottom there is a link to more help.  I have been reading other people's trials too but still can't figure it out.  Oh, well I made it finally so will just keep trying to learn new stuff. 

I too watched Prime Time about the ex-polygamist. The father simply disgusted me. To compare his daughter to cattle, then to say he didn't remember her abuse, then to say yes he kind of remembered it but it wasn't that bad... it's just not human. To answer your question, Labelfree, I think we will always react with tears and compassion. I think when we hear a victim tell their story, we have an instant connection with them because we've been there. I've often wondered myself will I ever stop having this reaction. No, I don't think it will ever go away. But that's not bad. As someone stated earlier, I think it just gives us that much more compassion for victims. I am always amazed at how many people I've met and come to know that have been sexually abused. Really, there are many. I don't think it is coincidence that we cross paths. Perhaps it is so that we can help those that have yet to work through this. Now when I hear children tell how they told someone about the abuse and reported it to the police, I cry, but it's with pride and amazement at their bravery. By telling, they stopped the abuse and exposed the pedophile. I wish I had been that brave at that age.