Message Boards

Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

Number of Replies: 5642
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:57:56 am
Author : dataimport
Are you or a loved one a victim of childhood sexual abuse? Join others to share advice and offer support.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote
blank
July 27, 2008, 11:59 pm PDT

Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

Quote From: angel198715

Although a little different to the show, I was molested by my stepfather. My mother married him when I was 3 or 4. I'm not sure when it started but I try to forget all these things and to this day I still try to block it out of my mind. My worst fear that scares the hell out of me is that something like that could ever happen to my baby girl, she is only 2 months now but I know she will get  older.
Being molested can happen to any child.  Unfortunately in these times, it seems more likely than not.  Just make sure your relationship with your daughter is strong and that she knows that she can come to you with any thing big or small.  That will make it easier for her to come to you if she is molested.  Keep watch over her as best you can and trust in God.  Teach her the difference between good touch and bad touch early on.  But most importantly, love her.  Let her know you love her and will protect her.  If it does happen, believe her when she tells you and hold your temper and love her even more.  Get the police involved and let the courts handle the abuser.

Love and prayers
Dreamweaver
 
User Mood
Weird

Message Emote
blank
July 28, 2008, 12:14 am PDT

Hey Surfer Girl!!!!!!!!!!

Quote From: surf2010

 HEEEEY!! How are you doing? I'm glad to hear your out of counseling again!

Things have been getting better. i only go to counseling once a month now. I got to go to cedar point yesterday with my best friend who is moving to Arizona *sniffles* OMg it was soooooo scary!!! We had a creepy old guy stalking us for a little while at cedar point. After I got off the mavrick and looked at my pic, he got right behind me and tried to press his body up against my butt. Lucky for me my best friend was there and gave him a look that basicly said im gonna kick your ass! It freaked me out! I wanted to cry but I didn't. The only thing that isn't going well is the fact that I'm hving flash backs and panic attacks, but cant complain otherwise.

I hope to talk to you soon! Luv yaz!

SQUEEEEEEEEEAK
How are things going for you now?  Great I hope.  I'm seeing a psychiatrist now, not just a counsellor but all is well so far.  The bastard that tried to rub up against you should have been tied up instead of horses
LOL.

I've got a great boyfriend now and am living with him.  We are in the process of combining his stuff and mine so we are bouncing from city to city a lot.  I'm here with him, using his computer while we tie up his loose ends and then he is moving in with me.  We are getting married when our divorces are final.  He's a bit of an odd ball but I love him the way he is.  He looks a bit like a biker.  Long pony tail down his back, pierced ears etc.  and contemplating getting his first tattoo at the age of 50!!!!He isn't a biker though.  Just a free spirit.  My best friend approves of him and likes him.  My parent's haven't seen him yet.  They will be okay with it though.  He will charm them to pieces LOL.

Anyway, hang in the Surfer Girl.  I love you lots
Dreamweaver












 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
July 29, 2008, 3:14 am PDT

trying to move on

  When I watched the story about the mother that knew about her daughters abuse, it made me ask myslef if she was my mothers sister.  She just didnt get it. How her actions or lack there of will forever live and impace her daughter.

 

  See all my life I have been sexally abused. By three men close to my family. The worst one waas my father. He was the only one I could turn to when the two before did what they did. He was the only male that I ever trusted. Until then.

 

   I never knew my father until I was about 8. He was in the military and away in Germany. When he heard about my step brother sexually abusing me from the age of 8-12 he was there for me. Never left me alone with any males.

 When I turned 14 that all changed. It went on for 4 more years. There are four main things thata happen, and after everyone I would tell my mom. One event that changed me forever, my mom said that the marks all over my body were cause by me. So that she wouldnt leave.  She never did anything she didnt want to lose her home. My mother and father were never married and we didnt live in a military lifestyle. But my father did live with us. I had to deal with him everyday. I tried to kill myself once when I was 14 cause I couldnt deal with it. When I turned 18, one more thing happened and I finally said enough. I turned my father in. After a year of court hearings and trial my mother told me that since I stuck with this she believed me.  Even though he is in jail now I am still blaming her for not protecting me.

  I am a single partent of a two year old little boy. I am also currently serving in iraq. I want to find a way to somehow, take what has happen to me and help others. So I am an MP (military police) I am getting help but its still an everyday battle for me to get through the day.

 

 
User Mood
Apathetic

Message Emote
hopeful
August 5, 2008, 12:09 pm PDT

I confronted my dad

Hi

I just wanted to share that I confronted my dad last week. When I was about 4 I know that my dad used to sexually molest both me and my sister (who was 2 years younger). I also know that my mum knew about it because I have memories of her walking into the lounge, saw what was going on and then walked out and closed the door. I am not sure how long this went on for but eventually it stopped when I was about 7. I didn't really think it had affected me - until  few years ago when my friends started having children and I realised how lovely and precious and innocent they are.  Plus looking back my twenties are full of promiscuity and infidelity - with sex being overly important in my life. My boyfriend encouraged me to seek counselling and both of them encouraged me to confront my dad. Initially I didn't want to - all I could think was that I would lose my family and at that time I would prefer to have my family around me and pretend it hadn't happened than lose them. 

A few months ago I confronted my mum - I told her that I remembered and that I was seeking counselling. She denied it totally saying that she would never let anything like that happen. This denial really shook my world - I even doubted my memories - although I knew them to be true. I didn't really know how to move it forward. However this made me even more depressed so to move things on I knew I had to confont my dad. So I took a short holiday and went to see them. I almost bottled it and then I got really angry because I couldn't let myself carry on feeling that way.

So I wrote down what I remembered, how it had affected me and then asked my dad to read it while I sat there and gave him page by page. I kept it short but I could see from his face he was visibly shocked. The good news is that he immediately took responsibility and admitted it, he was shocked that I could remember and was really sorry that it had had such a big impact on my life. He felt sure I wouldn't remember and really wanted to understand how it was affecting me today. He was sorry and said he had never done it to any other children (and I believe him). We left it there but I feel like a weight has been lifted  he takes the guilt not me and I am thankful to my counsellor for encouraging me so positively.

I encourage you to do it to - I just hope you all get the same response so you can move on. Remember they must never be allowed to hurt young children and although I want to maintain  good relationship with my father I will probably never trust him alone with my children which is very sad. You just need to be brave - I almost wasn't!

 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
August 24, 2008, 11:30 am PDT

How do I help my daughter and her sister's?

4 years ago my daughter told me she was sure she caught her father molesting her sister,she confronted him and he went balistic and MY daughter wound up in jail for assault so the abuse issue was never in the picture! About a year ago that same daughter (Jennifer) went to her older sister's house and got very drunk and told her older sister that her father forced her to give him felacio and if she bit him he's kill her,well I asked Jennifer about this and she changes the subjsct or her phone goes conviently dead or she'll refer to her younger sister.Jennifer absoloutly not discuss this.She is afraid.Jennifer has been heavily into drugs and many other problems starting after her father and I broke up,I seen the changes but I thought it was the break up.Just this year I was contacted by Jennfer's half sister and she told me that my ex husbands brother moleted her many times.I made myself a MY Space page to keep in touch with friends and family and I was contacted by my ex husbands nephew by his sister where he proceeded to tell me that both my ex husband and his brother are and have been molesting the children in the family and that my ex brother in law doesn't stop with just females.This same brother in law was caught molesting his sister's daughter and the sister chased out of the house with a gun,and as far as I know my ex sister in law and her brother have not talked since not even showing up at the same funerals.My nephew says he caught his uncle with a small male child.My nephew did tell 4 people where he was brushed off and is now 36 and is exiled away from family and branded no good.The problem is that not 1 of these people (victims and parents of victims) have brought any of this to the proper authorities.These kids are waiting until they don't live the same homes and out on their own and they are afraid but they are calling me.There is 1 child under 9 yrs old still in one of the accused and the problem is now my ex husband(9 yr olds father) has now accused the brother of molesting his daughter,which my husband and I believe was a way to get the blame off him and onto someone else.I met this now ex husband when I was 14 yrs old and was in a unwedded mothers home and the brother had a girlfriend in that same home with a 9 month old child.What I am getting at is these 2 brothers are inseprable,shared women,they did everything together!!They even traded wives for heavens sake.My ex is now on his 3rd marriage and slept behind each womans back with another.The 2nd wife is no where to found.The 3rd wife is in denial that her husband is a sicko and I am the 1st ex wife who is afraid if I do anything to help that I'll be looked at as the crazy 1st wife who can't get over him,this man I just learned slept with some1 behind my back and fathered a child with the other brother's girlfriend.We would of never known if my ex's brother hadn't refused praturnity to 5 children.What should I do? How can I help?
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
August 25, 2008, 6:22 pm PDT

Why I'm anal about helping my daughter

I was also molested as a child not by just one person either.The neighbor,the one who held me when I first came home from the hospitol.My brother,oh yes I told my my Mom,but he was already going to the state hospitol for molesting the little girl around the corner.I was ignored completely.After that my Mom packed me up and moved out of town PRONTO.But I never recieved any care or concern for what happened to me.There were others as well.I must of lived in the sicko neighborhood.Well I am 41 now ad I just told my older sister and brother what he did and they didn't even invite him to his own daughters wedding,and they told me they'd never put us at the same functions.I was a Mother at the age of 15 and married by 18 and at that time I had 2 daughters.My 1st husband and I split and he took the kids(the 2 from him) and I was so completely lost and t proud to ask my family for help because I was always needing help.I went into drugs heavily (meth).I drank heavily and I just plain loved the escape.What happned for me to get a little closure was me telling my brother and siter andthem aknowlaging it,it did wonders.But now it's all back because of my daughter being molseted by her father and I believe her Uncle.I am keeping a diary of what my daughter and all her cousins and half brothers and sisters are saying.Problem is that they will tell me but they think thats the end OMG these guys that molested these kids are free.These kids also keep visiting with these disgusting human beings.You know how they say how "nice and charming" a molester can be,well thats these 2 guys.My ex is a master manipulator and a con.His brother is "Hi I'm the shy guy who giggles at all your jokes guy".This brother ofmy ex actually groped me once and tried t pull down my britches right in front of his sister.The same guy who molested his sisters daughter.The worst part is knowing theres a step daughter out there where I hear back,she's fried on drugs,gray in color and skinny as a rail.If they molest their own ,what in the name of god did they do to a step child?
 

Message Emote
blank
August 31, 2008, 11:58 pm PDT

If you need to talk..I will give you my number

I have ventured out a bit since I first started my campaign on here 2 or 3 years ago.

 

If anyone needs to talk about a specific issue, please email me at childsvoice@charter.net and I will be glad to do all I can to help.

 

I have a cell phone that I carry 24/7 for such purposes.

 

God bless,

 

Rev Darrell

 

 
User Mood
Weird

Message Emote
blank
September 11, 2008, 2:36 pm PDT

just popping in

Just popping in to say hi and see how everyone is doing.   I'm headed for divorce, ditched the man I had the affair with and am engaged to a wonderful man who knows about my past history and my current problems.  He even met with my psychiatrist to make sure he knew everything he needed to know so he can help rather than harm me along the way.  He even has the psychiatrist seal of approval LOL.  She says he is a great improvement over my soon-to-be ex husband or my lover.  She was afraid I was going to head right back into another abusive relationship like my marriage was.

The most fun thing about my fiance is my mother's reaction, though.  I guess it really shocked her that I waited until I was 47 to bring home a guy with long hair and earrings!!!!  He looks like a biker - especially in his leather jacket but doesn't even drive a car LOL!
 
User Mood
Worried

Message Emote
worried
September 11, 2008, 4:08 pm PDT

How do I know it is true?

 

 

My step daughter is accusing my boys of sexually abusing her. 

How do I know if it is true? 

How can I tell if she or they are lying about it?

 

Her mother cheated on dad for 3 years, and took her with (from what my husband says)

Her mother was headed for a second divorce and is in counceling now.

 

There is so much more....but to sum it up.....

 

She (10 yr old) has a history of abnormal sexual behavior since she was 3-4 years old.

She has initiated sexual behavior several times and has been caught.

She is totally obsessed with boys.

We never have any problems with sexual talk or behavior in our home unless she is here.

When she leaves....all of the talk stops and we don't have any issues.

Her father and I have warned her mother of each incident and it still gets worse.

Her mother educates her way too much about boys and sex and body parts and functions.

Her mother tried to get her to date a 13 year old boy when she was 9.

She lives with her mother and everytime she goes

back home...she tells lies..NEVER sexual until this time.

 

She is a cronic liar, but you would never know.  She is sweet, kind and thoughtful and can look you

in the eye and talk to you.

 

She is very decietful and two faced, but you would never know unless one parent tells another, what she said.

 

What do I do? 

Can any of you tell me your thoughts on this?  Why would she lie...if this never happened?

 

It breaks my heart to see her furure shattered more and more each time she goes home to mom.

 

 

 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
September 18, 2008, 9:30 am PDT

Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

MY WIFE IS A WENT THROUGH SEXUAL ABUSE AT THE HAND OF HER FATHER FROM THE TIME SHE WAS 2 TILL SHE WAS 13.  THIS HAS CAUSED MANY PROBLEMS IN OUR MARRIAGE AND WE ARE AT THE BRINK OF DIVORCE.  I WOULD LIKE TO HELP HER.  I WOULD LOVE TO GET SOME TOOLS TO HELP HER THROUGH THIS.  SHE IS NOT EVEN SURE SHE WANTS TO GET HELP.  SHE HAS STATED HER "SAFTEY NET" HAS BEEN THERE AND SHE DOES NOT EVER SEE BEING HAPPY OR TRULEY TRUSTING ANYONE.  COULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP.  MY WIFES HAPPINESS AND OUR MARRIAGE IS AT STAKE.
 
First | Prev | 558 | 559 | 560 | 561 | 562 | 563 | 564 | Next | Last