My mother tells me I should just get over it, that it is my problem and I shouldn't bring up the past.
My mother let my aunt's husband abuse me for years. I am 35 now. Everyone in my family knew about it even when he was doing it, he would just take me to the other room saying "I just need to talk to her in private about what everyone wants for xmas". My mother has custody of my child which I have fought for years but she is a really good liar and every year at xmas time I withdrawl from any contact with family and have either worked on xmas day all day or I spend it completely alone. The court knows what I claim and the other abuse my mom put me through, like giving herself an abortion in front of me and trying to kill herself. But all the court says is I need to be on medication since she did all this stuff to me. The thing is I am messed up I know, but I deal with it as best I can, and through all of this I had alot of accomplishments and even bought my own home while single raising my daughter. I just don't want to have any relationship with my mother, well she doesn't want to be a mother to me, so I do need to move on and get over it.
So I would like to know what medication is out there for someone who has been sexually abused and just doesnt want to celebrate xmas the way most americans do. As soon as December gets near, I start to withdrawl and try to keep myself busy to not think about it. But having my daughter living with her makes it so hard, cuz I don't even want to talk to her. The court makes it really hard, I used to have unlimited visits with my daughter cuz I worked so much, so the court says my visits are based on what I can communicate with my mother, knowing that I just don't want to have anything to do with my mother (by the way she really wasnt the one who raised me), but now I don't get to see my daughter since last December, cuz all I was going through was too much and of course I had no family to turn to and again December came and it was too hard for me so there was a problem.
I just don't understand the court saying I need medication cuz of what she did to me and the things she let happen, but they gave her custody. (they had a court date and my mom told the court she dont know my address or how to get ahold of me, I owned a home and she talked to me regurly cuz she was doing the daycare for my daughter she lied and told them she hadn't seen me in months).
I do fine without her in my life, but having her in my life I cannot cope. Now my daughter doesn't get to see me or talk to me (she is 10 and brainwashed). How can this lady get a chance at being a mother to my child? Not one time does the court order her to get on medication. I just don't get it. I usually do ok getting through things, then all of a sudden my mother doesn't get her way with me or she gets afraid I will tell people the truth and then she stops me from seeing my daughter. This has gone on for so many years, until last December like I said I just couldn't handle it again she had forced me for months to be having communication with her which I cannot stand, cuz she is a liar.
So please anyone out there who has been molested please tell me what medication u take cuz the court wants me on something for me to see my daughter. I have been to years of therapy and they don't prescribe anything for me, cuz I am a functioning adult. My mom knocks me down hard, I cry about it, give myself a pity party, let things go, and get up and start my life all over again. I do well then I have to communicate with her and the drama starts all over again.
A psychiatrist evaluated us and decided cuz of the abuse I was put through I will always cause caos in my life, so I shouldn't raise my child. But the abuser (my mother) who never got me any help as a child and refuses to attend any sessions with me even to this day is capable of raising my daughter. Worse my mother refuses to take my daughter to counseling to help me keep a relationship with my daughter and the court thinks this is ok. I think maybe my mother knows that while under her care something happened to my daughter and she is afraid it will come out in counseling. Why else would she refuse to take my daughter and say my daughter just doesn't want to be with me.
Any advice would be so appreciated, I have been through alot of attorneys, the last one telling me to tell a therapist what I told him my mother did. I have no more money left to give an attorney to fight for me.
Please what medication is out there for this cuz it doesn't matter to the court I have a good home and good job, just that when December comes I don't want to be anywhere near my mother.
