Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

Being molested can happen to any child.  Unfortunately in these times, it seems more likely than not.  Just make sure your relationship with your daughter is strong and that she knows that she can come to you with any thing big or small.  That will make it easier for her to come to you if she is molested.  Keep watch over her as best you can and trust in God.  Teach her the difference between good touch and bad touch early on.  But most importantly, love her.  Let her know you love her and will protect her.  If it does happen, believe her when she tells you and hold your temper and love her even more.  Get the police involved and let the courts handle the abuser.

Love and prayers
Dreamweaver

How are things going for you now?  Great I hope.  I'm seeing a psychiatrist now, not just a counsellor but all is well so far.  The bastard that tried to rub up against you should have been tied up instead of horses
LOL.

I've got a great boyfriend now and am living with him.  We are in the process of combining his stuff and mine so we are bouncing from city to city a lot.  I'm here with him, using his computer while we tie up his loose ends and then he is moving in with me.  We are getting married when our divorces are final.  He's a bit of an odd ball but I love him the way he is.  He looks a bit like a biker.  Long pony tail down his back, pierced ears etc.  and contemplating getting his first tattoo at the age of 50!!!!He isn't a biker though.  Just a free spirit.  My best friend approves of him and likes him.  My parent's haven't seen him yet.  They will be okay with it though.  He will charm them to pieces LOL.

Anyway, hang in the Surfer Girl.  I love you lots
Dreamweaver

  When I watched the story about the mother that knew about her daughters abuse, it made me ask myslef if she was my mothers sister.  She just didnt get it. How her actions or lack there of will forever live and impace her daughter.

 

  See all my life I have been sexally abused. By three men close to my family. The worst one waas my father. He was the only one I could turn to when the two before did what they did. He was the only male that I ever trusted. Until then.

 

   I never knew my father until I was about 8. He was in the military and away in Germany. When he heard about my step brother sexually abusing me from the age of 8-12 he was there for me. Never left me alone with any males.

 When I turned 14 that all changed. It went on for 4 more years. There are four main things thata happen, and after everyone I would tell my mom. One event that changed me forever, my mom said that the marks all over my body were cause by me. So that she wouldnt leave.  She never did anything she didnt want to lose her home. My mother and father were never married and we didnt live in a military lifestyle. But my father did live with us. I had to deal with him everyday. I tried to kill myself once when I was 14 cause I couldnt deal with it. When I turned 18, one more thing happened and I finally said enough. I turned my father in. After a year of court hearings and trial my mother told me that since I stuck with this she believed me.  Even though he is in jail now I am still blaming her for not protecting me.

  I am a single partent of a two year old little boy. I am also currently serving in iraq. I want to find a way to somehow, take what has happen to me and help others. So I am an MP (military police) I am getting help but its still an everyday battle for me to get through the day.

 

When I was very young, probably two or three, I have a memory of mystepfather putting his penis in my mouth and ejaculating when he wasgoing to give me a bath. I have no idea where my mom was at the time. Iremember gagging, puking and being shocked. I guess I had no idea what washappening to me. I also remember him laughing and giving me a glass ofwater to drink. I have never told ANYONE this story but it has hauntedme for years. He never did anything to me after that sexually (but hedid physically and emotionally abuse me). I have never confronted him or let him knowthat I remember what he did to me.

 Now years later I have a baby girl that he adores. He comes over to seeher and I visit there but I have NEVER left her alone with him. This is killing me. Every time he holds my daughter all I can think of is what he did and it makes my skin crawl. I feel like I'm being re-victimized every time I feel this way. I remember feeling horrible when I found out I was having a girl because I knew I'd have to face this old nightmare. She is 9 months old and like I said has never been out of my sight with him (and never will be either!!). Lately I can't sleep at night because of this. I don't feel comfortable with him around my daughter and I know I can't take much more or keep this bottled up inside much longer. It's driving me insane! Ironically, the current relationship we have is pretty good. I lost my mother a few years ago to alcoholism. She was only 47 and her death really tore me apart. My real father died when my mom was pregnant with me so this man, my abuser, is the only father I've ever known. My dad and I have a good relationship now (it's been rocky in the past)but that's all about to change. I think he's been so nice to me since my daughter was born not because he loves me but because he see's an opportunity to do this again. At least that's how I feel. Once I confront him I have no idea what will happen. I guess I'll go my own way and not talk to him anymore. I'm also afraid of how my brothers will react. We're very close and I'm almost 100% sure he never touched them. I'm afraid they won't believe me (even though I'd take a polygraph toda to prove it!!!) and I know my dad will deny, deny, deny. Even if I say "Oh yeah, well I'll take a lie detector - will you?? He'll somehow twist it around and keep denying it.

I know the day will come where he'll want to take her out on his own(not realizing that I damn well remember what he did to me) and I know I'll be telling him no. I know that people who are capable of doing that to a child never really change and I'd NEVER be able to trust him with her. What do I do when that time comes. If I confront him it'll destroy the family and our relationship will be over. Should I just tell him that I don't feel comfortable with my daughter being away from me for any amount of time and hope he takes that as an answer? This hellish nightmare has kept me awake at night and caused me more grief and anxiety then you could ever imagine. It has been eating at me like a cancer since my baby was born and although the bottom line is that she'll NEVER be alone with him, I just don't know how to handle this.Please help!!!!!!!

As I said above, my mom passed away and never knew about this. We were very close but Inever did tell her about it. I was afraid she'd kill him. I don't meanin the figurative sense either, she would have truly killed him andbeen in jail. That I believe for sure.

My husband doesn't know about this either. I've never told a soul until now. He just knows that I'll never let him watch her alone but thinks it's because my dad hit me a lot when I was a kid and I don't trust him because of that. He has no idea of the truth and I'm scared to tell him. I think I should seek counseling and I'm going to. But how do I handle this in the meantime? I want to confront him but I'm scared. I have to do this though. I can't keep letting this eat me like a cancer and I never want to have to worry about him doing the same thing to my baby girl. PLEASE HELP!! How do I confront him? I have to do it soon..my husband, not realizing what I'm going through decided to invite my dad up to a cottage that we rented for a week next week. Instead of a much needed getaway, I'll have to worry about watching my dad like a hawk around my daughter (like I always do) I can't do this anymore..it's destroying me. I need to end this madness. HELP!

I have felt so alone in this and then I read your post. My stepfather also abused me when I was young. My real dad died when my mom was pregnant with me and she got together with my stepfather when I was very young. He did something to me when I was about 3. I remember it and have carried it with me for 30 years. I also just had a baby nine months ago and these horrible memories that I have tried to block out are all coming back. I have NEVER left my daughter alone with him and never will. Lately though, it's getting harder for me. I don't even feel comfortable with him holding her! I relive the nightmare every time he's near my baby.

My mom never knew about this. I was scared to tell her because she had a helluva temper and would have killed him and been put in jail if I told her. Nobody knows, not even my husband. It's getting harder to live with this though. I think I need to confront him and let him know I remember what he did and that he'll NEVER destroy my baby girl like he did me. I'm so scared to tell him but I'm more scared of what could happen to my daughter if I don't. I've been carrying this nightmare around with me in silence for so many years. I was able to push it to the back of my mind but when I found out I was having a girl last May that all changed. Suddenly I was terrified and knew the day would come when I'd have to confront him. That day for me is coming soon. He treats my daughter great and comes over to see her but deep down I can't help but to think he's getting close to her so he can abuse her like he did me. That'll never happen. I love my daughter more then anything or anyone and if it means I end the relationship with my stepfather and have to deal with the fallout from bringing this up--so be it. The price of PEACE OF MIND will be worth it in the end.

I don't know what to say to you except I'm in the same situation. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read your post, although I hate that you're going through this, it's comforting to know there is someone on here that understands this nightmare. All I can say is NEVER leave your baby girl alone with him and there will come a time when your mind will not let you put this off any longer and you will NEED to confront him. For me that time could be coming in the next few days... you see my husband also has no idea of what he did to me and thinks my dads a good guy. He decided to invite him to a cottage we'll be staying at next week. I have not had a vacation in YEARS and now I get to spend it watching my dad like a hawk. I don't even leave them in the room together alone and I'm tired of the anxiety from worrying about when or if he'll try something on her. This nightmare needs to end soon for me because I can't take it anymore. I would get some help (I know I'm going to) and do not ever let your stepfather be alone with her at all.

Hi

I just wanted to share that I confronted my dad last week. When I was about 4 I know that my dad used to sexually molest both me and my sister (who was 2 years younger). I also know that my mum knew about it because I have memories of her walking into the lounge, saw what was going on and then walked out and closed the door. I am not sure how long this went on for but eventually it stopped when I was about 7. I didn't really think it had affected me - until  few years ago when my friends started having children and I realised how lovely and precious and innocent they are.  Plus looking back my twenties are full of promiscuity and infidelity - with sex being overly important in my life. My boyfriend encouraged me to seek counselling and both of them encouraged me to confront my dad. Initially I didn't want to - all I could think was that I would lose my family and at that time I would prefer to have my family around me and pretend it hadn't happened than lose them. 

A few months ago I confronted my mum - I told her that I remembered and that I was seeking counselling. She denied it totally saying that she would never let anything like that happen. This denial really shook my world - I even doubted my memories - although I knew them to be true. I didn't really know how to move it forward. However this made me even more depressed so to move things on I knew I had to confont my dad. So I took a short holiday and went to see them. I almost bottled it and then I got really angry because I couldn't let myself carry on feeling that way.

So I wrote down what I remembered, how it had affected me and then asked my dad to read it while I sat there and gave him page by page. I kept it short but I could see from his face he was visibly shocked. The good news is that he immediately took responsibility and admitted it, he was shocked that I could remember and was really sorry that it had had such a big impact on my life. He felt sure I wouldn't remember and really wanted to understand how it was affecting me today. He was sorry and said he had never done it to any other children (and I believe him). We left it there but I feel like a weight has been lifted  he takes the guilt not me and I am thankful to my counsellor for encouraging me so positively.

I encourage you to do it to - I just hope you all get the same response so you can move on. Remember they must never be allowed to hurt young children and although I want to maintain  good relationship with my father I will probably never trust him alone with my children which is very sad. You just need to be brave - I almost wasn't!

 

4 years ago my daughter told me she was sure she caught her father molesting her sister,she confronted him and he went balistic and MY daughter wound up in jail for assault so the abuse issue was never in the picture! About a year ago that same daughter (Jennifer) went to her older sister's house and got very drunk and told her older sister that her father forced her to give him felacio and if she bit him he's kill her,well I asked Jennifer about this and she changes the subjsct or her phone goes conviently dead or she'll refer to her younger sister.Jennifer absoloutly not discuss this.She is afraid.Jennifer has been heavily into drugs and many other problems starting after her father and I broke up,I seen the changes but I thought it was the break up.Just this year I was contacted by Jennfer's half sister and she told me that my ex husbands brother moleted her many times.I made myself a MY Space page to keep in touch with friends and family and I was contacted by my ex husbands nephew by his sister where he proceeded to tell me that both my ex husband and his brother are and have been molesting the children in the family and that my ex brother in law doesn't stop with just females.This same brother in law was caught molesting his sister's daughter and the sister chased out of the house with a gun,and as far as I know my ex sister in law and her brother have not talked since not even showing up at the same funerals.My nephew says he caught his uncle with a small male child.My nephew did tell 4 people where he was brushed off and is now 36 and is exiled away from family and branded no good.The problem is that not 1 of these people (victims and parents of victims) have brought any of this to the proper authorities.These kids are waiting until they don't live the same homes and out on their own and they are afraid but they are calling me.There is 1 child under 9 yrs old still in one of the accused and the problem is now my ex husband(9 yr olds father) has now accused the brother of molesting his daughter,which my husband and I believe was a way to get the blame off him and onto someone else.I met this now ex husband when I was 14 yrs old and was in a unwedded mothers home and the brother had a girlfriend in that same home with a 9 month old child.What I am getting at is these 2 brothers are inseprable,shared women,they did everything together!!They even traded wives for heavens sake.My ex is now on his 3rd marriage and slept behind each womans back with another.The 2nd wife is no where to found.The 3rd wife is in denial that her husband is a sicko and I am the 1st ex wife who is afraid if I do anything to help that I'll be looked at as the crazy 1st wife who can't get over him,this man I just learned slept with some1 behind my back and fathered a child with the other brother's girlfriend.We would of never known if my ex's brother hadn't refused praturnity to 5 children.What should I do? How can I help?

I was also molested as a child not by just one person either.The neighbor,the one who held me when I first came home from the hospitol.My brother,oh yes I told my my Mom,but he was already going to the state hospitol for molesting the little girl around the corner.I was ignored completely.After that my Mom packed me up and moved out of town PRONTO.But I never recieved any care or concern for what happened to me.There were others as well.I must of lived in the sicko neighborhood.Well I am 41 now ad I just told my older sister and brother what he did and they didn't even invite him to his own daughters wedding,and they told me they'd never put us at the same functions.I was a Mother at the age of 15 and married by 18 and at that time I had 2 daughters.My 1st husband and I split and he took the kids(the 2 from him) and I was so completely lost and t proud to ask my family for help because I was always needing help.I went into drugs heavily (meth).I drank heavily and I just plain loved the escape.What happned for me to get a little closure was me telling my brother and siter andthem aknowlaging it,it did wonders.But now it's all back because of my daughter being molseted by her father and I believe her Uncle.I am keeping a diary of what my daughter and all her cousins and half brothers and sisters are saying.Problem is that they will tell me but they think thats the end OMG these guys that molested these kids are free.These kids also keep visiting with these disgusting human beings.You know how they say how "nice and charming" a molester can be,well thats these 2 guys.My ex is a master manipulator and a con.His brother is "Hi I'm the shy guy who giggles at all your jokes guy".This brother ofmy ex actually groped me once and tried t pull down my britches right in front of his sister.The same guy who molested his sisters daughter.The worst part is knowing theres a step daughter out there where I hear back,she's fried on drugs,gray in color and skinny as a rail.If they molest their own ,what in the name of god did they do to a step child?

I have ventured out a bit since I first started my campaign on here 2 or 3 years ago.

 

If anyone needs to talk about a specific issue, please email me at childsvoice@charter.net and I will be glad to do all I can to help.

 

I have a cell phone that I carry 24/7 for such purposes.

 

God bless,

 

Rev Darrell

 

Just popping in to say hi and see how everyone is doing.   I'm headed for divorce, ditched the man I had the affair with and am engaged to a wonderful man who knows about my past history and my current problems.  He even met with my psychiatrist to make sure he knew everything he needed to know so he can help rather than harm me along the way.  He even has the psychiatrist seal of approval LOL.  She says he is a great improvement over my soon-to-be ex husband or my lover.  She was afraid I was going to head right back into another abusive relationship like my marriage was.

The most fun thing about my fiance is my mother's reaction, though.  I guess it really shocked her that I waited until I was 47 to bring home a guy with long hair and earrings!!!!  He looks like a biker - especially in his leather jacket but doesn't even drive a car LOL!