Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

This new format is really difficult. I've been away from the board for a few days so was trying to catch up and reading from the start is a pain coz the messages are backwards so you have to scroll to the end and then hit to go to the last page and then scroll again!! I know you'd think we all had enough stuff to complain about in our lives!! LOL. I do like that the way the messages are laid out though so that you see the order of things.

Anyway (hope that's a paragraph momisme :). I kind of lied just there when I said I was away from the board, I actually logged on a couple of times and started to read but couldn't continue. Sometimes it is too hard. Lablefree I think what you are talking about is the difference between sympathy and empathy. I think we will always empathise with others that go through this s***. This is probably a good thing but sometimes it is really difficult. We all have to learn to protect ourselves from that and know our cut off point. Like I said I couldn't read the board for the last few days coz I've been very depressed lately and sometimes it is just to hard to see other people's pain.

Oreo what your mum has done is definitely abuse there is no doubt about that. You might not categorise it as that because of the sexual abuse but she is abusing you physically, mentally and emotionally. She is also controlling you and as Momisme said we lose control to our abusers and that is the hardest thing to regain. This is why people who have been abused can have eating disorders, or self harm and also why we often end up in another bad situation because we just want the control back. I am glad that you met someone you like. You are old enough to date and you've been through enough to make you older then you are. However I would like to say please be careful. Keep your control in the relationship. You are very messed up now and sometimes we turn to someone else that we think will fill a void but it doesn't. Just make sure that everything you do you WANT to do. It has to make you happy. I know that I ended up having sex with my first real boyfriend because I wanted to feel 'normal'. It made me feel worse coz I had done it for the wrong reasons and it was another way that the abuse had effected my life. I also continually looked for someone to love me and if any guy showed me some affection I thought it was love. I was lucky in that this didn't lead me into a bad situation but it very easily could have. Take your time. Work out what you want, be honest with yourself and with him. Remember we are always here to listen. And don't be embarassed about what you said about your mom, she is in the wrong she is your mother and should protect you NOT abuse you. Take care.

grrr. The same thing just happened to me.... My post is now gone, lost out in cyber space with your post. I'll write it again later I guess.

Oreo

I was thinking I was having a senior moment or something until you said it happened to you too.  Now I don't feel so bad. lol

Moderator, while I am on the subject, what do  I need to do?  Guess I will get a timer and place it next to the computer.  I tried the refresh but it made me lose the post in the middle of writing it.  Please don't tell me to write the post in Word Perfect and copy and paste it, that is nonsense IMO.

Do you guys think we are all computer geeks and can do this stuff easily?  Five yrs ago I didn't even know how to turn the computer on, so I have come a long ways, but this is becoming a test.  This is supposed to be a relaxing, good experience here not a timed race so we have to hurry.  My whole life seems to be hurry to do this or that and I don't like it here too.  Sometimes I like to think about what I am saying to someone and make sure it doesn't come across different than I mean it to.  Sometimes I have to sit back and sort my thoughts, and sometimes I have to look up a word in the dictionary (especially since my controls didn't allow spell check to download)  Well I'm not sure if this is really what I want to say to you on this subject, but I may be nearing the end of the 20 minutes so I will go ahead and post and worry later if I said the right thing.

    Sounds like you are having a heck of a time with the boards, I,m one that kind of goes with the flow and so it hasn't been that frustrating for me.

    I don't understand the thing about the 20 min. security, I have heard others talking about it. I have been on the boards for about 1 1/2 hours and haven't had to log on at all during that time. If I leave and am not on it for a 1/2 hour or so I have to log on, so maybe it is if you have a life (that's making fun of me) and aren't sitting at the computer it shuts you off. Maybe not though where you were in the middle of a post, no sure (confused).

    My spell check works too,  I just have trouble putting double spaces in.

    Good luck to you!

 Hey guys. I'm gonna try this again. lol

Well, not much has been going on around here lately.. just the usual. I've been kinda sad lately and doing alot of thinking about alot of things. I decided to tell my dad about... well.... the truth. I finally got enough carriage to actually pick up the phone and dial his number but then my step dad caught me and made me hang up. So now he doesn't want me calling my dad or anybody else really. I can't use the phone at all.... so yeah that sucks. I'll try to use it when he or my mom's not around. I've been thinking that maybe it would be better to write him a letter... I don't know.. I'll figure it out. Oh yeah, the guy that I was talking to asked me to go out with him tonight. I'm not sure if I should go or not... I mean my parents won't be here so I doubt if I get caught but at the same time I'm wondering whether or not it would be a good idea to go out with a 22 yr old guy that I haven't known for that long and only talked to him over the phone since we met.... I don't know.

Anyway, mussymel, thanks for the advice on dating..... so, you think I'm messed up, eh? lol. Seriously though, I get what you mean.... more than you know. I like the guy that I'm talking to alot because he's nice and all but I don't think I'm ready to take it as far as sex. Well, I gotta go before my post gets erased... again. Talk to ya'll later.

Oreo