Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

  I was sexually molested by 3 male adults from the time I was 5-16,including my brother.I eventually told a friend of the family.My step father was 1 of the adults.When my mother found out she pulled me out of school,and asked if it was true then we went and picked my step dad up.Can you believe he admitted to it and she stilled stayed with him,cause he promised he wouldn't do it again.Now hes in a nursing home and I haven't been to see him since,my moms mad at me cause I haven't been to see him.She expects me to just forget it all happened.I kept my feelings about all of this buried until October of last year,my 5 yr. old son was molested at school during recess by another 5 yr. old boy,it was like a truck hit me head on.I mean all my feelings about my past came rushing back not to mention trying to deal with my sons feelings.Anyone out there know how I can handle all of this,especially with my son? I pray every day that my son and I can and will get through this together.But he's only 6 now and all he knows is that it was wrong what the other boy did to him.I get nervous every day he goes to school now wondering if he'll be safe,cry myself to sleep every night.Please if  anyone knows how I can cope with all of this I'll appreciate it. 

Honestly It is hard to give someone advice in a situation like this ...I know it's hard for you because it is in a mother's nature to protect her  child .. but this is not your fault I know it's hard because we as victims believe we can  or will protect our children better because we went through it ourselves and think we know what to look for  but unfortunatly we can't  and first we must accept that the only advice I can give you is  you need to resolve your own issues with what happend to you so you can help your son  give him the emotinal support you needed when it happend to you  make sure he knows it wasn't  his fault and that it was wrong what the other little boy did so he will not become an abusier hisself I think that other little boy probablywas touched himmself  and wasn't given the support  he needed  my best advice is to seek  professional  help for you and your son  I hope this helps 

I have been to over 22 dr's and therapists and the truth is not alot of them helped me. some of them have a long way to go in dealing with sexual abuse. Therapists are people too, and they are not perfect. 

When you are searching for the right one, you should know pretty early on whether it is a safe connection or not. Use the initial sessions to ask them about their knowledge and framework of what they use for abuse. I had one male dr tell me to "get over it". 

Treat this like any other service when your hiring someone. you have the right to ask questions and if you're not satisfied with it, then continue on. my biggest mistake was wasting time with counsellors who had no real training or concern for my issues. interview them and choose several to pick from. 

and remember, they are not there to "cure" you. they are your healing tool, your flashlight into the darkness. the work is primarily yours to do, along side their support (which you defintely need to be)  

EK 

I'm a victim of sexual abuse by my fatherwho  sexual abused me, and then my foster sister and father also sexual abused me when I was 9 nine years old. My real motherdoes not believe all this happen to me, she believed these preditors  were wonderful people.  My real mother told me years ago to let go of it and go on, how can you heal when you stuff the pain inside. I've been in counseling for years because of my sexual abuse issues. I still have night terrors over this, and should I forgive these abusive people and including my father?  I have BPD because of the sexual, severe beatings from these foster parents. I almost died from the beatings they are very sick people, thinking they may had a mental illness also. They done cruel things to me, a lot worse things that I'm not telling.   I've been raped 3 times as a teenager and several times as an a adult also. I'm a survivor from the abuse as I was growing up and it sucks that at times it still haunts me it took me a long time to work through these things. I went through 2 counsalers,  the first one I went through 2 sexual abuse classes.  She left state and the second one helped me, and now I have a case worker who is helping me through the mental health center.  I'm so tired of this crap and still working through the pain. 

lostgirl 

     Hi to all... I had a pretty good break down in life about 9 years ago. Started with extreme rage, hyperventilation, uncontrolable crying etc. So I decided that I needed to get into therpy and quick! Well everything starts to surface ( that I had buried deep) I was sexually molested by my grandfather when I was 7 til I was 9 ( I think thats when it ended?) Well, I thought I had delt with it???? I guess not because I have been running from it ever since, and I am just realizing it! I thought that if I go looking everywhere else in the world, I might find what I need to make me happy! I am now 28 and completly miserable... In the past 3 weeks I have figured out that I thought that being sexual and or having sex was how you got love & that I am very selfdestructive!!!!! In every relationship that I have ever been in, I manage to find something... so I can break up with that person. I have used drinking and drugs to escape the pain, but you always feel worse the next day! I am trying very hard to not use this method anymore!  

I have just come to the point in my life that I am ready to face the past and all of the pain, but I am scared as hell!!!!!!!!! I don't know where to start or even how to start? Any advice on starting this process would be helpful.