Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support
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May 23, 2006, 3:04 pm PDT
 Quote From: reginasob I was sexual abused by my grandfather. He was my mothers father. I will not ever get the chance to talk to him about it because he passed away. When he died everyone was upset except for me. I was happy that he was gone from this earth. I am now 46 and I have never got over it. I am in my 3 marriage. I am very happy except for when my husband wants to make love to me because I feel like I am being used. My grandfather took something away from me and I wish I had it back.
Regina Regina,I'd like to let you know it does get better as far as your marriage and love life is concerned.I know, I am also a victim of sexual abuse from my grandfather(my story is "Be Careful What You wish For",if you'd be interested in reading it) and from my father.I had also wished for my grandfather to get hurt or die and was granted my wish from God,as graphic as it was,He still answered .Was there guilt,of course,but i feel i was able to finally put that part of my life behind me and start anew.I had also struggled for years when it came to making love to my husband.He was very patient with me and we grew together from it.He is such a wonderful man.I am sure that if you chose to talk with your husband to get him to understand your fears,your emotional scars,and let him know it's not his fault;he'll be more then happy to help you through this.He can be your best friend too as well as your partner in life.If you feel you're getting nowhere with this approach,try seeing a marriage councilor,psychiatrist,or a dear friend that you can confide in.The Best Of Luck to You!!!! And also know ....It's Not Your Fault Either May God Bless You!!!!! I am also available anytime...........Michele(mom320f2) |
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May 23, 2006, 3:19 pm PDT
Quote From: reginasob I was sexual abused by my grandfather. He was my mothers father. I will not ever get the chance to talk to him about it because he passed away. When he died everyone was upset except for me. I was happy that he was gone from this earth. I am now 46 and I have never got over it. I am in my 3 marriage. I am very happy except for when my husband wants to make love to me because I feel like I am being used. My grandfather took something away from me and I wish I had it back.
Regina I was also molested by my maternal grandfather. Between the ages of 4 and 11, I had 5 different people assault me. Two were related, and one of those was my aunt. I have confronted all but two of my attackers. I have discussed it with the relatives. I am 34 with five children, and my fifth husband. I have learned a few things I want to share. 1. IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!!! I watched my daughters as they grew and I realized even at 15 and 12, they still haven't been sexy or seductive in any way. How could it have been my fault? I have taught them that they can say no to any situation with any adult, including me, that makes them uncomfortable. I have been very honest with them about what happened so they will not think, "It can't happen to me." ** I had a dream once that I woke up at my grandfather's house. (this is where all of the violations happened) The house was trashed. There was broken furniture everywhere. I walked into the kitchen, and there was a little girl there. She was about 6 or 7 years old. She was covered in mud from head to toe. What really caught my eye was her piercing blue eyes. I asked her where everyone was, and she said they went with Jesus. I knew that she was too young to have been left behind during the rapture, so I asked her why she didn't go, too. She said, "You wouldn't let me." I was puzzled. Then she said, "You think I'm dirty." In that moment, I realized the little girl was me. I woke up weeping. I felt like I was damaged and dirty.** 2. THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE REASON, SO I DO NOT NEED TO ASK "WHY?" ANYMORE. I talked to three of the people who stole my innocence. I have learned that no matter what explanation they offered, it didn't justify what had happened. 3. THE ATTACKERS STOLE THE TIME OF MY LIFE IN WHICH THEY HAPPENED, EVERY YEAR I SPENT HATING THEM AND BELIEVING I DIDN'T DESERVE A GOOD LIFE, I GAVE TO MY ATTACKERS. If someone steals your wallet, they get whatever cash you had. Would you set them up a daily paycheck after that? Anger and hatred are personal. They are inner emotions. They can only hurt the carrier, and anyone they are around. Hanging on to those feelings are like drinking battery acid. I had a horrible thing happen repeatedly in my life, but I do not have to live the rest of my life at the mercy of my attacker. I do not have to molest myself over and over again obsessing with what they did. I am a whole person. I am a strong person. I can stand in the face of adversity. I guess I can almost thank them. Maybe I wouldn't be that way if I had had an easier life. 4. WHEN MY HUSBAND TOUCHES ME, IT IS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME The line between sex and love gets really screwed up when you are molested as a child. I hope you have been completely honest with your husband about what happened to you, and how it has effected you. You and he could work together to get back to that place where sex wasn't a dirty filthy thing. There are 100 ways to make love, and they don't have to include intercourse. Buy the book "Courage to Heal". There is a lot of useful information in it, and even a chapter for your spouse.
I don't know where you are in your healing process, and it is a process, but there is hope. I am happy now. I see my grandfather and talk to him. There has been forgiveness in my heart for all of my predators for many years now. Most importantly, I have stopped holding myself accountable for being a child. I enjoy intimacy with my husband. I can love my children. I do not look for the bomb to drop when I am happy anymore. I also do not undermine my own happiness. I would love to tell every victim of this that there is hope. I would love to tell them that they are beautiful and not damaged, but if I can just start with you, and have it help, I will be satisfied. I will be praying for you. Angelzyn
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May 23, 2006, 3:21 pm PDT
I can remember when I was around 9 or 10 I had older cousin who would touch me and my sister inappropiatley. We were felt up on a weekly basis. When I turned 13 yo my step father began squeezing our butts and breast, he would also make us sit on his lap whenever we were at home alone with him. One night my sister and I were watching tv and she was on the couch and I laid on the floor. My step father came in and laid on the floor next to me. I was very nervous because he was laying so close. As we continued to watch tv I noticed my sister had dozed off, so I began to pretend like I was sleep as well. It didn't stop him from putting his hand down my underwear and fondling me. I laid as still as I could still pretending to be sleep. I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I just laid there like a fool and let him fondle me. I was so mad at my sister . (I know how crazy is that ) He would also encourage us to tell himwhen and if we ever thought about having sex..He would say "make sure you let me know when you want to start having sex" My sister and I then moved with my father. We never told anyone.......
When we turned 14 yo we went to live with my father. He married a woman who had a son around our age. Unknown to us he was a raging pervert. He began sneaking into my room at night at fondling me in my sleep several time I woke up to him being in my bed and I was so stupid I would just lay there just like I did with my step father...I began so angry that these incidents continued to happen and I did not have a voice or the courage to tell anyone... To make matters worse I became pregnant til this day I do not ever remember penetration. I was forced to give birth to the child and give her up for adoption to my step mother and father.(by the way my step-mother could not have anymore children...how convient) I was told never to tell anyone not even my own mother....I kept that secret for 17 years before I had to courage to tell my mother.....(she was so hurt and disappointed) I was never able to bond with the child because I was sent away to live with my step mother's sister, until I decided to move back home with my mother....My father then did the unthinkable he adopted my step brother and put him thru college (the person who victimized me was rewarded...thats how I felt) My father said I owed him an apology and we really have not spoken in about 10 years (the ultimate betrayal)
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May 23, 2006, 4:03 pm PDT
My name is Ann. I always watch Dr. Phil because he snaps reality back to my life. My dream is to go to the taping to one of his shows. However, I watched Dr Phil everyday but this last episode on childhood sexual abuse was nearly intolerable. I am a survivor of sexual abuse and sexual assault. I was sexually abused by a relative from the age 11 to 15. I did not share my secret with anyone because I was afraid to be hurt in return. My family life was difficult. My parents were not settle and left emotional and physical scars. I live in silence. As a result of the sexual abuse, I only remember my life as though I am watching it. I see the abused little girl through someone's eyes. I do not remember most of my life through my own life. When I was 16, I was raped. I also went to court for this case because I seeked medical services at the local hospital. I had no choice to report the incident because I was a minor. It was torture. I some how developed an eating disorder during the years of being sexually abused. The abuse made me fearful and despise my body. My eating disorder brought comfort to me through all the pain. Anorexia nearly killed me two years ago. It was the only thing that I could control in the traumatic world that I lived in. While I was in treatment, I let the deep and dark secrets out about my childhood physical, emotional, and sexually abuse. Despite my upbringing, I was able to go to college and to graduate with honors this last December with a BA in Spanish and minor in Psychology and Athlete Coaching. Two of the three of my siblings and my father did not finish high school. As I fought my way out of the abuse cycle, I learned a lot of myself and finally live a life of honesty. It is difficult fight from time to time but it is worth it. |
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May 23, 2006, 4:04 pm PDT
Quote From: littlenana I WAS MOLESTED BY MY BROTHER WHEN I WAS 5YRS.OLD. IT MESSED WITH MY HEAD SO MUCH THAT I DON'T HAVE MUCH MEMORY (AT LEAST) GOOD ONES FROM AGE 5-10YRS. OLD. I BLOCKED IT FROM MY MIND UNTIL I WAS ABOUT 24 YRS. OLD. I HAD MARRIED AND HAD KIDS. AND WHEN IT CAME BACK TO ME I SPOKE TO MY MOM ABOUT IT SHE FOR SOME REASON SAID I WAS LYING. BUT ONE OF MY OLDERS SISTER DIALED THE NUMBER AND I SPOKE TO MY BROTHER. HE SAID WE WERE PLAYING DOCTOR. GRANTED HE IS 9 YRS. OLDER THAN ME. OF COURSE THIS ISN'T TRUE SINCE I WASN'T THE ONLY SISTER HE MOLESTED. WHAT BUGS THE HELL OUT OF ME IS THAT EVERYONE IS ALRIGHT WITH HIM. IT WAS LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO DID SOMETHING WRONG. I DON'T WISH HIM ANY HARM I GAVE IT TO GOD YEARS AGO AFTER SUFFERING FROM HEADACHES AND BEING AFRAID TO BE ALONE. BECAUSE OF HIM MY KIDS NEVER SPENT THE NIGHT AT FRIENDS HOMES. MUCH LESS FAMILY. BECAUSE I FIGURED IF MY OWN BROTHER WOULD DO THIS TO ME WHAT COULD I EXPECT FROM INLAWS. BUT NOW I JUST SEE HIM HERE IN TOWN. AND HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID ONCE HE ASKED ME FOR A FAVOR. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. ? SO CONFRONTING SOMEONE DOESN'T ALWAYS HELP. IT DIDN'T HELP ME. BUT WHEN I TOLD HIS WIFE SHE SAID I WAS LYING. I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO ADMITT WHAT HE DID. BUT JUST SAYING WE WERE PLAYING WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. WHEN I SEE HIM WITH HIS GRANDKIDS IT HURTS MY STOMACH. I JUST HOPE HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING TO THEM. MY HUSBAND AND KIDS HAVE BEEN GOOD SINCE I TOLD HIM. I HAD TO TELL ME KIDS WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO KNOW WHY MOM NEVER TALKED TO HER BROTHER AND MY HUSBAND WHY DIDN'T WE SEE MY BROTHER. DIANNE
This is my first time to post anything like this, but your experience is some what like mine. Only I was adopted, and my brother started raping me around 13 yrs old he was 15, and I would wake up in the middle of the night, with his hand over my mouth, and him inside of me. He would always reasure me that I wasnt' his sister, so it was okay. I never told anyone, because I figured I deserved it. I always felt like I was in this world by myself. It has never left me, even though I have forgiven him and the family that called me a liar, thief, and would never be anything but a baby maker. I wish I could find forgiveness for myself. |
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May 23, 2006, 4:08 pm PDT
Quote From: angelzyn I was also molested by my maternal grandfather. Between the ages of 4 and 11, I had 5 different people assault me. Two were related, and one of those was my aunt. I have confronted all but two of my attackers. I have discussed it with the relatives. I am 34 with five children, and my fifth husband. I have learned a few things I want to share. 1. IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!!! I watched my daughters as they grew and I realized even at 15 and 12, they still haven't been sexy or seductive in any way. How could it have been my fault? I have taught them that they can say no to any situation with any adult, including me, that makes them uncomfortable. I have been very honest with them about what happened so they will not think, "It can't happen to me." ** I had a dream once that I woke up at my grandfather's house. (this is where all of the violations happened) The house was trashed. There was broken furniture everywhere. I walked into the kitchen, and there was a little girl there. She was about 6 or 7 years old. She was covered in mud from head to toe. What really caught my eye was her piercing blue eyes. I asked her where everyone was, and she said they went with Jesus. I knew that she was too young to have been left behind during the rapture, so I asked her why she didn't go, too. She said, "You wouldn't let me." I was puzzled. Then she said, "You think I'm dirty." In that moment, I realized the little girl was me. I woke up weeping. I felt like I was damaged and dirty.** 2. THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE REASON, SO I DO NOT NEED TO ASK "WHY?" ANYMORE. I talked to three of the people who stole my innocence. I have learned that no matter what explanation they offered, it didn't justify what had happened. 3. THE ATTACKERS STOLE THE TIME OF MY LIFE IN WHICH THEY HAPPENED, EVERY YEAR I SPENT HATING THEM AND BELIEVING I DIDN'T DESERVE A GOOD LIFE, I GAVE TO MY ATTACKERS. If someone steals your wallet, they get whatever cash you had. Would you set them up a daily paycheck after that? Anger and hatred are personal. They are inner emotions. They can only hurt the carrier, and anyone they are around. Hanging on to those feelings are like drinking battery acid. I had a horrible thing happen repeatedly in my life, but I do not have to live the rest of my life at the mercy of my attacker. I do not have to molest myself over and over again obsessing with what they did. I am a whole person. I am a strong person. I can stand in the face of adversity. I guess I can almost thank them. Maybe I wouldn't be that way if I had had an easier life. 4. WHEN MY HUSBAND TOUCHES ME, IT IS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME The line between sex and love gets really screwed up when you are molested as a child. I hope you have been completely honest with your husband about what happened to you, and how it has effected you. You and he could work together to get back to that place where sex wasn't a dirty filthy thing. There are 100 ways to make love, and they don't have to include intercourse. Buy the book "Courage to Heal". There is a lot of useful information in it, and even a chapter for your spouse.
I don't know where you are in your healing process, and it is a process, but there is hope. I am happy now. I see my grandfather and talk to him. There has been forgiveness in my heart for all of my predators for many years now. Most importantly, I have stopped holding myself accountable for being a child. I enjoy intimacy with my husband. I can love my children. I do not look for the bomb to drop when I am happy anymore. I also do not undermine my own happiness. I would love to tell every victim of this that there is hope. I would love to tell them that they are beautiful and not damaged, but if I can just start with you, and have it help, I will be satisfied. I will be praying for you. Angelzyn
I am in a relationship and was wondering how did you overcome the feel of being touched and held by your husband when you have a flashback or triggered. |
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May 23, 2006, 4:10 pm PDT
Quote From: lookin4hlp I have some questions for you since you sound like you have come a long way in healing yourself. Let me ask you about some things you said and will intermix my questions with some quotes from your post. I feel stuck in a way because I have gone through 2 years of working with a psychologist and although I have come a long way, I am not free of the damage. Maybe you can shed some light on some of my questions.
"Healing means facing the truth of what happened and giving myself freedom from what others did to me. "
I think I have faced the truth of what happened. After 2 years of "looking back" and trying to understand the dynamics of all involved, I think I understand the truth of what happened and know that I did my best as a child at that age to handle my situation. I know that other things contributed to my abuse and it wasn't because I did anything at all to be the target. But, I don't feel free yet from what happened. Some reactions in my life today are automatic. Triggers happen and I cannot prevent myself from reacting...likee a reflex. How did you overcome these things?
"Facing my struggles and issues and looking for the resources to help myself.... Understanding that nobody can help me unless I am willing to help myself.... Wanting to heal is a big one, we hurt and are so afraid to face it that we walk life in pain but when we decide to face our truth, it is amazing what we find out... "
I have tried so many things and have found many don't really help. It was helpful to piece together my past to try to understand what was going on in the adult world so that I could more clearly understand my childhood. Looking back as an adult provided a different perspective than my childhood perspective. That did help. Beyond finding a psychologist, I have not really found other helpful resources. Have you found other helpful things? I struggled (& still do) with wanting to heal and feeling like I just don't know how to heal.
"Healing means that I cannot blame everything that is wrong in my life on my past...I am an adult now and need to take responsibility for who I am, I need to make changes, I need to be a survivor and not a victim. "
I went through over 30 years of not seeing any connection to my past. I had to finally look at my life and see the connection to my past abuse. This was really hard because I had to face the abuse and stop trying to push it out of my life. It doesn't just go away. Now that I have begun to see the full effect, it is overwhelming. I don't want to blame everything on my past, but it is hard now for me to ignore the associations and links to my past and be angered & hurt by it. I want to make changes to no longer be a victim. That is where I am now. I am ready to make changes, but overwhelmed by what I now see and understand and not sure how to accomplish it. Do you know what I mean? Did you experience this point? How did you move beyond it and know what to do to move forward in your life? I really wish my psychologist would just hand me a step by step list of things to do, but it doesn't work that way.
Thanks Hi, Yes, I have experienced what you describe in similar ways and different ways. You are asking of resources beside the Psychologist? There are many... You can make your own list but here are some suggestions... Write to your abuser, not to send but to write it out. How you feel and reading it out loud helps, you hear yourself and feel the emotions that come with it and it is a step to getting free of what you hold inside. It is not easy. I journal a lot and reread what I right and making changes that are helpful to me. One thing that has been really helpful to me is connecting with other survivors that are on a road to healing. If you google for forums of survivors of abuse, you will find many. They have been very helpful to me. You have to search till you find one that you feel comfortable with. If you go to www.m-a-h.org, you will find many answers, it is a survivors forum that I am a member off, you don't have to become a member but it can provide answers to many of the questions you have. There is hope and it takes a long time to heal, I am not healed but in the process, it means facing many hard things and learning to truly honeslty understand who you are, finding you the child who was robbed of your childhood by those who chose to do evil acts. Hope this helps...the answers are inside you....keep searching and facing truth, connect with other people and it will open up insde of you and little by little healing will come, it doesn't mean we forget, we heal in order to live and live a life that would be much more peaceful.
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May 23, 2006, 4:12 pm PDT
Quote From: mom32of2 I am not sure how to begin.....please be patient with me,I'm new at this.Yesterday,I joined this website and discovered that I could post my opinion,share thoughts about your stories,and even have my own diary to post for others to view.I'm grateful for this opportunity to finally be able to share things about my sexual abuse with people who have experienced the same, horrible things that i have been through. Today,I'd like to share some very personal things with you in hopes to help me vent and feel better about this topic.You see,I thought I had overcome the pain of being a victim of child molestation and rape but have realized that i am not, who was i kidding.I was molested by my grandfather for 7 years of my childhood and 2 years by my father about a year after my grandfather was forced to stop.I don't consider myself a hero of any kind nor do I credit myself any reward for bravery; I feel when I had the chance,I could've done more. It all started when i was six years old.My grandfather had a special liking to me.I was a very shy child,well behaved and always quiet.Yet,I will not get into the graphic details,I will try to share what i can.He tried to spend alot of time with me,was easy due to living with my grandparents because my parents had divorced and they had such busy lives that they had no time to raise their children.My sister's,brother and I shared a bedroom with bunk beds on the second floor of my grandparents home for 3 years.At that time my grandmother couldn't get around well due to her rheumatism that paralyzed her ,restricting her to a wheel chair and to only one floor of the house.I loved to help around the house and help her.There was nothing i wouldn't do for her. Everything started mildly at first.He would only want me to sit on his lap while he watched the news or football(with my grandmother in the same room).I was too young to realize why he kept shifting me around on his lap.He would also approach me at the kitchen sink while I washed dishes and when I slept,he'd approach me at my bedside.During one incident,I witnessed him at my youngest sister's side of the bed.I wept so hard inside,blaming myself for not kicking her under the blanket to wake her and for not sitting up and shouting at him to stop;the least I could've done to protect her. At the age of 13,I told my aunt about my grandfather and much to my surprise,she knew how he was along with everyone else in my family including my mother.No one protected us,no-one stood up for us,no one stopped him.I decided to take it to my school councilor.She set me up with a psychiatrist. I later found out he was arrested ,then released a few months later.I never found out why. During the first year of my marriage, I started filling in my husband on the molestation and rape that had occurred during my childhood.Although i have shared a few details about the abuse I have incurred from my grandfather,I can't share too much about my sexual abuse from my father;the details are so vague,I cannot remember much,almost as if I had erased them.Not that I want to remember.Shortly after being married a year,my father called me to tell me that my grandfather had died.I learned that he had had a heart attack and crashed into a telephone pole and died at the scene.You see,be careful what you wish for.That still makes me feel as if I had murdered him;God does answer prayers no matter how graphic your prayers are. I carried alot of guilt about my sister for many years into my adulthood.About 2 years ago,I finally told her about what i had witnessed.She was unaware of her own abuse and couldn't even remember my grandfather because we had moved around so much between family members homes that that point in time ,to her was so short lived and she was so young,she couldn't remember much.She hugged me and thanked me for sharing that and assured me she was fine and to stop blaming myself.I am still very close to her and speak with her all the time.The ironic part of all of this is ,I am close to my father too.Yes,I know he did molest me and my sisters.I warned him that I have a daughter now and I will always be Eagle eyed around him,and will hurt him if he lays a finger on her.That I promise.
I know how you feel. I have told my husband and he has told me to get over it. Oh well with the understanding. I finally told my mother. It was years after my grandfather died. I did not want to tell her. One day a friend of mine called my mom and asked her if I have ever been sexually abused. My Mom called me and asked me and I couldnt lie. One thing that I am very gratefull for is that my mom believed me. God Rest her soil. Anyway one day I told my moms brother what his dad did to me and he said that he was given all the girls in the neighborhood money for special favors. I got so pissed off. I can not believe that he knew about it and didnt do a damn thing about it. To me it was like it was ok with him. Since my mom died 3 years a go I have not spoken to him and dont ever plan on it. To me this forum is great. It feels so good to share and to share with women who have been through it too. I just love Dr. Phil. |
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May 23, 2006, 4:29 pm PDT
Quote From: babypooh I'm new to Dr.Phil's site, looking for support and new ways other survivors have found how to cope. Reading your message, has given me strength and hope that I can continue to move on and hopefully find happiness in life that I honestly thought I would never find. I've been putting my life on hold for years. Because I thought I didn't deserve anything better than I had now. I wouldn't allow myself to have happiness,a partner to journey through life with because of my past. Always thought I was going to be judged by it. Again, your words were very powerful. Thank you for sharing.Hugs to you. Upsflyin may be quoting me (amazonsole) but I believe she missed the point. I said you never get over this kind of assault however, it is paramount of importance for you to hear the rest of the point I made, you can live with it and do so very well indeed. Life can seem to end for a time with the recovery of memories and flashbacks while you are in them, and for a long time after. That is not the end of the story of your life. You can choose to change the final outcome and heal and move on with your life intact, love your self, like whom you fight to become, and be stronger and filled with self-esteem in the end of the process. You will find peace if you are willing to work for it. Healing is a process and a powerful part of that is grieving what was, what should've been, and what should never be but IS. Upsflyin had some good points about therapy and getting help, pacing your way thru the process. My experience is in complete agreement but I honor the fact that you are the one doing all the work. You are the one that must change you and your thought processes to become more than you ever dreamt you could be. The point is you can do it and I have faith in you. I've been thru it all and back again, every form of abuse there is. I've even gone thru the deaths of my children and found a way, 20 years later, to live with it and their absence. I ask all the hard questions and seek my answers then use them to change my life for the better. I don't ask why so much as I ask what can I learn about my self and life thru every experience I get my self into. You can do it too. My point is that no matter what happens to you in the past, or the present for that matter, you can do more than survive it, you can thrive thru it and in fact because of it. I do the work daily to stay on course to stay healthy and deal appropriately emotional with everything I encounter. I'll be honest it is never easy; it is just worth all the effort I put into it. And I know it will be for you also. You deserve more than you know. You are special in a very good way. I'll hold that thought for you as well until you too find a path to believe it, and can do this for yourself. I encourage you to search my other responses. Thru them you will learn to know me. My heart and prayers are with you. Amazonsole
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May 23, 2006, 4:32 pm PDT
Quote From: reginasob I know how you feel. I have told my husband and he has told me to get over it. Oh well with the understanding. I finally told my mother. It was years after my grandfather died. I did not want to tell her. One day a friend of mine called my mom and asked her if I have ever been sexually abused. My Mom called me and asked me and I couldnt lie. One thing that I am very gratefull for is that my mom believed me. God Rest her soil. Anyway one day I told my moms brother what his dad did to me and he said that he was given all the girls in the neighborhood money for special favors. I got so pissed off. I can not believe that he knew about it and didnt do a damn thing about it. To me it was like it was ok with him. Since my mom died 3 years a go I have not spoken to him and dont ever plan on it. To me this forum is great. It feels so good to share and to share with women who have been through it too. I just love Dr. Phil. I had been sexually molested by my cousin when i was in the 4th grade. My cousin was graduating which is why me and my mom and my younger brother were down in sacramento visiting. Even by that age I should of known better to do something about it or say something about it but my parents were always punishing me for little things and my cousin who had molested me told me that no one would believe me anyways and that my mom would just get mad at me for "Lying". I never said anything to my parents until I was about 15 1/2 yrs. old. It is wierd how things happen. I probably would still have it inside of me but because my mom thought i was a problem child she sent me to a shelter where I stayed at for weeks without any contact to anyone- not even my family, and I told a counselor about what had happened to me. He believed me and thats when I told my parents. What I can relate to is that after I told my mom about it she said that she knew he was like that because of another incident that had happened with someone else. What I can't understand and makes me upset is why would someone take there daughter somewhere that you know a certain person has harmed aother little girl. Being a mom now I dont mess around and I am always looking around me and the people that come into contact with my daughter. I dont need her to go through an experience that I had to go through. |
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