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Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:57:56 am
Author : dataimport
Are you or a loved one a victim of childhood sexual abuse? Join others to share advice and offer support.

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September 7, 2005, 3:11 pm PDT

CONFRONTATION

Quote From: ttot35

  

  

Hi, I am new to this message board. I am a member of another online forum. The Angela Shelton foundation. I pressed charges against my father in June. It has been 17 years since my last abuse from him. I found out that he has his young kids living with him. He has a daughter 13, and a son,10. The mother of the kids he has is his stepniece. She has MS and she is in a wheelchair. I don't know if this is the reason she lost custody of them or not. The kids stepmom is the same one as when I was living with him. I told her of my abuse when I was 14 and all she said was that she believed me because my dad had tried to do something with her sister. 

  

I talked to her a few years back before she let my father and his kids move back in with her. I don't think that they ever got a divorce. Anyway, she told me that my father couldn't even get it up anymore. I told her he didn't need that to sexually abuse his kids. 

  

When the det. interviewed my dad and stepmom, of course they didn't admit to it. My stepmom told the police that the only thing I ever told her was that he tried to do something with me. The police as well as children services has talked to his daughter, and she said he hasn't done anything to her. Whether this is true or not, I don't know. It seems like the police are waiting for the little girl to admit to some kind of abuse before they do anything. 

  

Through my own investigation I found another victim of my dad. She is the sister of the mother of the kids. That would make her my dad niece. So I called the det. working on my case and gave him her number. He acted like it was know big deal that there was another victim. After about a month of trying to get a hold of him again. Also, I had an attorney friend call him, and he never returned her phone calls either. I finally got the other victim to call the det. since he could never get a hold of her. The attorney said that the det. said he had his suspicion's of me when I pressed charges against my dad, since I waited so long to press charges. She told them that people come forward when they are ready to, and that some victims never do. 

  

I also know of another victim of my dad. She is my stepsister and she is deaf. The last time I've seen her is when I lived with my father. She only stayed with us on the weekends, because she went to special school for the deaf. I woke up one night and seen my father on top of her. 

  

The det. on my case and the commonwealth attorney are suppossed to get together on Sept. 19 and discuss where, if any, they want to go with my case. So I am keeping my fingers crossed that they will press charges against him.  I have contacted alot of people about this case, including the media, I am waiting to here back from them. 

  

Sorry so long, 

  

Tina 

I was able to confront my father which I did not think I would ever be able to do.  When I started therapy it was for me and getting on with my life I had no intentions of confronting.  I had a great counselor and she helped me come to the point of confrontation.  I am glad I did it, for awhile there because it was kept so quite I was beginning to wonder if it ever happened.  I really do think it helped me get passed that part of my life.  I would encourage it just rememeber it is for you and not the other person don't have any high expectations.  Just ask what you need to know I would suggest you might write some questions or things down so you will not forget when you are in front of your perpetrator.  Just a suggestion.
 
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September 7, 2005, 3:39 pm PDT

Courage to HEAL

Quote From: momisme2

I sure hope you will come and check back in with us now and then!   

  

Best of luck with everything!  :) 

Marcia, are you saying that the Courage to heal book helped you get over your fears?  I am figuring out with myself I am afraid about a lot of things myself.  For instance broken heart, intamcy, really anything personal with anyone else including my kids.
 
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September 7, 2005, 3:46 pm PDT

Brother/Sister Incest

I was very excited to have Dr. Phil address the brother/sister aspect of incest.  This in my opinion is the hardest to find information on.  I am an incest survivor and have a lot of respect for the people that came forward to talk about this issue.  I think more should be done on the brother/ sister damage done by incest.
 
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September 7, 2005, 4:04 pm PDT

sibling incest

iam a survivior of childhood sexual abuse I am so glad that he did a topic on sibnling abuse is so good to see I was abused by my older brother from the time that I was 11 to 14. I have not spoken to or seen my brother since he abused me. I told my family what he did to me because I went and got counselling and had it all paid for. I am to this day healing from the abuse he denies doing what I accused him of he also abused my younger brother. I found one bookelt about this subject but it is less talked about then parent to child abuse.I was also in an abusinve marriage and have managed to move on from that also and am married to a wonderful man that is loving caring and understanding. I have gone thru my tunnel of healing and am still always going to find new ways to heal. I was also dianosed with being bipolar and have to now cope with that as well and having PTSD. I haven't done drugs or turned to the streets for healing. I was very angry and now find that I am less angry and better able to cope with life. I work full time and am raising two fine young men. so healing is possible. DR PHIL should put on survivors of the abuse to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
 
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September 7, 2005, 4:07 pm PDT

I agree

Quote From: jfinkle655

I was very excited to have Dr. Phil address the brother/sister aspect of incest.  This in my opinion is the hardest to find information on.  I am an incest survivor and have a lot of respect for the people that came forward to talk about this issue.  I think more should be done on the brother/ sister damage done by incest.

They used to just say that it is exploring. but it isn't so, I think that it does damage to you. 

I agree, ther should be more info on sibling abuse. 

  

mjkkas 

 
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September 7, 2005, 6:10 pm PDT

mj, LOL

Quote From: mjkkas

This is something on the "Other" board, yes I am a board hopper ;). 

4ever29 posted this: 

Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:
   

    

  1. While handling guns in the hunting department,
    ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
  2. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume
    the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices
    again!!!!"
  3. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay- away.
  4. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
  5. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
    shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
  6. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
    'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
  7. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
    pick your nose.
  8. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
    5-minute intervals.
  9. Dart around the store suspiously, loudly humming the
    "Mission Impossible" theme.
  10. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
    different size funnels.
  11. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
    "PICK ME!"

    

( And; last, but not least!)   

   

   

Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"   

   

I saw that post on the other board to but didn't post to 4ever i forgot but glad you brought it here we need a laugh over here once and awhile as well. thanks MJ. lots of love.cathy  

ps. thanks for all the support for me &my daughter as well  

 
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September 7, 2005, 6:11 pm PDT

We are all survivors

Quote From: redhead116

iam a survivior of childhood sexual abuse I am so glad that he did a topic on sibnling abuse is so good to see I was abused by my older brother from the time that I was 11 to 14. I have not spoken to or seen my brother since he abused me. I told my family what he did to me because I went and got counselling and had it all paid for. I am to this day healing from the abuse he denies doing what I accused him of he also abused my younger brother. I found one bookelt about this subject but it is less talked about then parent to child abuse.I was also in an abusinve marriage and have managed to move on from that also and am married to a wonderful man that is loving caring and understanding. I have gone thru my tunnel of healing and am still always going to find new ways to heal. I was also dianosed with being bipolar and have to now cope with that as well and having PTSD. I haven't done drugs or turned to the streets for healing. I was very angry and now find that I am less angry and better able to cope with life. I work full time and am raising two fine young men. so healing is possible. DR PHIL should put on survivors of the abuse to show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I think that any of us that are alive right now ARE survivors!!!!   We didn't get where we are but being victims.  When I speak of my brother raping me I always refer to myself as a survivor!
 
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September 7, 2005, 6:15 pm PDT

survivor vs victim

Quote From: jfinkle655

I think that any of us that are alive right now ARE survivors!!!!   We didn't get where we are but being victims.  When I speak of my brother raping me I always refer to myself as a survivor!

I think are two different roles. 

  

My daughter, 14 still lives like a victim. I think it will be years before she takes on the survivor role. I always refer to her as a survivor. 

 
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September 7, 2005, 7:00 pm PDT

Childhood Sexual Abuse

Quote From: tammyo1973

I think are two different roles. 

  

My daughter, 14 still lives like a victim. I think it will be years before she takes on the survivor role. I always refer to her as a survivor. 

I no longer want to just be a survivor. i want to thrive. survive is not enough any more.
 
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September 7, 2005, 7:07 pm PDT

I know how it feels

Quote From: chicana_14

thanks but just cuz im 14 doesnt mean i dont kno anything and he is not hurting her and i thinks its ok for her to go out with him and thanks and i think maybe we should just drop this subject 

  

  

Hi 

I was abused at the age of 12 til 15.  Sometimes it helps to say it is your friend.  That is what I did when I told.  Your friend may not forget but she sure can get help to heal.  Encourage her to see someone for help.  It does make a difference.  Tell her to keep her chin up. 

 
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