Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

I did not want that to come off sounding Bit@%* at all...truly I didn't..I am one of the most kindest souls you ever met on the face of this earth.... I was trying to be direct not in your face (truly)  sometimes when we type on these boards you truly never can tell what the heck people mean and I wanted to tell you from my heart what I meant what I said and HOW I meant it okay!

 

 

Now IF I had too I could run up and down and back on somebody don't get me wrong hey I live 23 miles outside of NYC  xoxox but I would never ever harm anybody inside here.....WE have been harmed in away NO one ever should of EVER been harmed wouldn't you all agree?

 

 

xoxoxooxox Until later my new friends xoxoxox

Hey guys. Yep, I'm still on the boards. Well, things aren't really going that well for me. At this point, I don't know.... my mom is back to her usual self (which is MEAN).  My step dad is still as mean as ever. I met a guy who is 22 so it's like illegal to date him, not that I can anyway. I've been told that I have an eating disorder. I really haven't been going to counseling but I did go this last time. I feel like I'm wasting my counselors time. My dad had met with my mom to talk to her about my brothers and I going to live with him and all. So far my mom is telling him no. My dad however, told me that if we want to live with him then we can despite if our mom doesn't want us too. He feels like there is more going on at home then what we tell him and he's being very adament about us living with him...... I don't know..... I guess I shouldn't complain about my life since I'm not doing much to change it........ Oreo

Oreo How old are you if you don't mind if I ask you and what Kind of eating disorder do you have because between me and you...I think I was starting to develop on and I was wondering if you could please help me out if you wouldn't mind..  Do you have to say you have on or does some one tell you you have one?  Thanks...Labelfree..

Hi Labelfree. I'm 17 yrs old..... and no I don't personally believe that I have an eating disorder. I am however very skinny and recently I have been losing weight due to not eating but it's not that I don't want to eat, I just haven't had much of an appetite. I'm not starving myself or anything nor have I ever...... People assume that I'm anorexic because of my weight but I'm not. I know that I have poor eating habits but I don't know..... When alot of people question it or tell me that I am anorexic... I don't know.... I just don't know that to believe anymore... maybe they're right in a way, I don't know.

Thanks so much for your messages. I have actually been through counseling years ago and did try to confront the abuser (a male cousin) about 11 years ago. Needless to say, it didn't go very well. He started out pleasant but got angrier the more I pushed the blame on him. He kept saying that yes he remembered the incident but "we were kids" at that time. I reminded him that "we" weren't kids, I was a child of 8 and he was 17. There was a big difference! He was an adult! He got angry and started firing off insults, told me I was nothing but s**t, and left. Not much was accomplished. I'm sure he was shocked that I would ever bring up the taboo subject. I thought at the time that I was done with it because I rarely ever see this cousin. Things change. Supposedly this cousin is now a preacher and some of my family members have joined his church and a lot of this "old stuff" has resurfaced. My brother has wrongfully interfered many times in trying to get me to forgive his pastor (my brother is co-pastor at my cousin's church). This whole mess has caused a lot of resentment within my family. I just refuse to smile and say "okay, no harm done, I forgive you" when I know better. Of course I was harmed. My life was altered because of his actions. My family can't seem to understand that. By the way, my wanting to confront him is for my benefit only, not for my family or him. I want to get this resolved for good and move on.  

Thanks for your truth to because sometimes I dont feel like eating either and I too lost alot of weight but I had that gastro by pass surg.  Went from 330 pounds to 157 now and to tell you the truth I have no idea what is normak you guys..

 

I just now am connecting with my body and I know one thing I know I am not depressed anymore.

Im sorry things arent going well for you, Oreo.  :(  You havent mentioned much about your mother and im wondering if you can tell me the mean things she does?(besides close her eyes to her husbands behavior~which is mean enough in my opinion) 

I think perhaps you feel the counselor is a waste of time because you are scared of throwing it all out on the table?  Im no shrink but it seems an easy thing to say its a waste of time and you dont want to go as opposed to telling the counselor all that has gone on with you.  Course, I think I have harrassed you enough over speaking to your counselor.  Getting tired of me always saying that to you?  Too bad!  :P  tehe  Just teasing you sweetie!  ;)

Did you know alot of people who have been sexually abused are anerexic?  Alot of people feel that  their weight and eating are about the only things in their control when abused.   Since others have so much control over us, how we eat and what we eat seems to be at least one thing about our bodies we can still be in charge of.  I dont know if your anerexic Oreo, just mentioning...  I do know that eating proper food can help your mind and body.  I also know a couple women who eat and eat and eat and are as skinny as can be.  *jealous face*  lol  Perhaps you are like them and just have a higher metabolism.  Focus on eating healthy and if you do try not to worry about what others may think of your appearance.  As long as you eat as you should, youre doing what you need to.

Now about this man you met...  You sound interested.  Are you?  I havent heard you speak of a boyfriend or any guys you are interested in once since ive known you on this board.  So even that you bring him up makes me wonder if you are wanting a relationship with him.  I know he is older then you, and perhaps im wrong to tell you this, but when I met my husband I was 17 and he was 25!  I didnt much care that it was illegal to date him.  LOL  Course, I was almost 18, but still...  How come you said you couldnt date him if you wanted?  You are not allowed to date?  Is he a good man?  Do you know him well?  Details on that whole thing if you dont mind.

About your dad,  I think he probably has an idea of whats going on and wants to get you out of the house to protect you.  How have you been feeling about that?  Are you wanting to go with him? 

Normally I would agree with someone who says they arent doing much to change their lives so they shouldnt complain.  Im a big one on actions when things arent working.  But youre young sweetie and in a bad place so it isnt the same to me.  You go ahead and complain all you want!  I think you have more then earned that right!

 

p.s.  I have tried to make paragraphs in this post for easier reading but its not working as it did before.  Anyone know how to do paragraphs in this new format?  I double spaced between them but it still comes up all bunched together. 

Now how come I have a paragraph at the end but no where else? Im gonna test  this new system out.  If I triple space, like this,

does that get me a paragraph?   What if a do it four times?

Does that work?

Labelfree, congratulations on the weightloss. And I'm glad you aren't depressed anymore. Were you depressed because of your weight or...? And how long ago did you have the surgery?

 

Oreo