Topic : Childhood Sexual Abuse Support

A few weeks a go I met with my psychiatrist and told her more details about a gynecologist who did some very inappropriate things to me ( He had already done everything he was supposed to or needed.  I was ready to get up, but he told me that nothing bigger than a finger had probably gone inside of me.  Then he told me that he wanted me to know how it felt to have a finger inside of me and that he wanted to be the one to show me.  He stuck his finger in me a few times).  I was 18 them and I'm 26 now.  My psychiatrist told me that there was still something I could do so for 2 weeks I searched non-stop to find out his name( my parent's brought me to him, I didn't remember his name).  Then I went through the process of writing it all out and then calling to find out how to make the complaint, and then making the complaint and mailing it in.  After 6 days I've finally heard back from them.  They have my complaint and a investigator is looking into it right now!  I'll get a letter in 3-6 weeks telling me what is going to happen, if anything, which I hope will, but you never know for sure.  I'm just so happy that they didn't write back and tell me that I was wrong and they weren’t going to do anything about it.  It’s being looked into.  I've been through this process before with other people who hurt me in childhood, but I've never been able to actually be involved in the process.  I was just told to be quiet to protect their reputations.  I've felt like an odd-ball and like things other people get to have just weren’t meant for me.  I don't want to hear the words- case closed, but I'm just happy it's gotten this far.  This doctor is the head and professor of 2 hospitals, including one for children.  He’s really high up.  If any of you pray, please pray for this and for me.  All of your support has really helped me this past month.  It’s nice but sad to know there's others that feel the same pain and have known and been through the same type of things I have. 

 

Brooke

 

I did quite the Therapist and searching for a new one

 

makayla

thank you for ur love and support. I have not been on here in a few weeks but will be bk soon as things calm down. thank you for listening as well it really helps a lot. hugs and be bk soon. by the was was girl 8 lbs 5 ozs. big girl.shes beautiful

I can tell how relieved you are...that's great news!  Not tryin to burst your bubble, just be prepared to handle a bumpy ride goin through this!  You KNOW he's gonna fight this and with his position....could get ruff!  Just stand firm and fight for your rights. 

Prayin for you and hoping for the best.

Hugs, Sunny 

I know thats tuff but hang in there, things will get better.  They couldn't get any 'worse' than havin someone like that in your life...geez!

Hugs, Sunny

A beautiful, healthy, 'big' girl!!!  How cool...so happy for you!  What is her name?

 

Things are very chaotic with a newborn!  The support is here whenever you need us, just know in the meantime that we are thinkin of you and wishin everyone the best.

 

Hugs, Sunny

Glad to hear you are doin better and gettin therapy.  Beth, I hope the 'light' I put on things wasn't 'bad'!  I spoke from my heart but perhaps shouldn't have spoken 'for your daughter'.  I just know that girls just can't bare to hurt their moms so a lot goes unsaid.  Even when encouraged to speak up, they just can't. 

 

I'm just glad you are in therapy...a professional can help you with all this.  I just hope I didn't make things worse or 'harder'.

 

Please stop by now and again to let us know how you are doing.

 

Hugs, Sunny 

OMG! --- Like Sunny says... it's time to get a new therapist!! She's not only a bitch, she's evil!!

Check out Sidran org --- they have a help desk. Tell them what happened. Maybe they can help find you someone better!

I was sexually abused by my father as a child.  When my mother passed a few years ago I finally confronted him, to get a response "I thought I treated you well"  After that I totally cut off any communication whatsoever.  Had he actually said I'm so sorry, or please forgive me things might have been different. 

 

Now, he's in the hospital and might die any day.  My brother needs emotional support (I'm the last family member left).  What am I supposed to do when I would actually feel better if the bastard is dead?

You can support your brother without having anything to do with your father, the hospital or his death.  Have a heart to heart with your brother.  You don't have to go into details, just explain that an old issue has not been resolved and you can not deal with 'dad', but want to be there for him.  If he pushes for an explination...tell him as little as possible, but let him know that he abused you.  Odds are that your brother will go into denial, especially with his own grief feelings...he would be torn between the two of you.  Let him deal in whatever way he chooses.  If he wants your support or doesn't...up to him but there is NO reason you should have to endure 'pretending' just because the man is dieing (I know that's spelled wrong).  You and your brother are both adults.  You gave your father a chance to redeem himself (kind of you to do), he didn't...you owe him nothing.  Give your brother a choice...your support without dealing with dad or the funeral....or no support at all.  Don't fall into the trap of trying to 'protect' your brother 'at a time like this'.  It only prolongs the agony and brother mite say, "why didn't you tell me that when dad was alive to defend himself?"  There is no 'good' or 'easy' way around this.  Your brother knows you don't communicate with dad...he just doesn't know why.  I doubt if he expects you to 'be there' knowing you didn't communicate before.  Visit w/your brother at his home or yours and give him hugs, chat on the phone but I would stay away from the hospital and funeral parlor!

 

Just my opinion!
Hugs, Sunny