Topic : Fears, Phobias and Anxiety Disorders

I'm new to the message boards I am 40 years old and until recently I was a strong confident woman but in the last 6 mos. I fear everything, being alone, driving to the grocery store even walking to the mail box is getting tougher, I physically shake so bad that I can't hold on to a pencil to try a get a job, financially I need one but no one would hire me because I can't function this way, no money for doctor's or medication or insurance.  I never suffered like this before I have had bouts with depression but nothing to this extreme. Are there any sevices out there that can help me get over this or at least to control it? I would appreciate any help I could find.  Thank you.

  

  Panic Attack Information     All anxiety disorders have one thing in common, which is a feeling of lack of control.   Below is a typical real life situation regarding panic disorder:   You are driving down the highway in heavy traffic at 65 miles per hour. There are three lanes of traffic and you are in the center lane.  Although the speed limit is 65, cars pass you on both sides and constantly jockey for position.  To get to the outside lane is tricky, and you also notice there are no rest stops to escape to, should you panic.   When you are on the highway you actually have no control over what other drivers do.  The best that you can do is drive defensively, and leave it at that.  The only control you have is how you react to the situation.  If you see a situation as being fearful, then that becomes your reality.     Dr. Phil says there is no reality only perception. If we perceive this as being a very dangerous situation with no escape,  then this becomes our reality.

  

The "fight or flight" response was built into us in caveman days as a defense mechanism, but most of what we fear today is not really life and death.  But if we think a situation is life and death, it becomes our perception, and therefore our reality. The result is the "flight or fight response" kicks in, which causes the body the prepare for the worst. The body is flooded with adrenaline and cortical in preparation for fight or flight, but there is nowhere to go, because you are in heavy traffic with no chance of escape,  this may lead to a panic attack, if we do not have the tools to defend ourselves against it.   

  

In caveman days there were sabre tooth tigers roaming around. The flight or fight response was developed at that time for self preservation.  All of the bodily functions were geared up for this panic situation.  The heart beats faster, the muscles tighten up, the digestion stops, etc. etc, and the caveman developed almost super human strength.  Although sabre tooth tigers no longer roam the earth, the flight or fight response is still with us, to protect us in serious life threatening situations.    The problem is that if we believe we are in danger, such as in an elevator, in heavy traffic, giving a speech, etc., the flight or fight response can kick in, even though there is no real danger.    The body is flooded with the chemicals adrenaline and cortical to respond to the feared situation, just as if it were a real dangerous life threatening situation.    Below are some suggestions on how to lower the adrenaline and cortical in your body and your anxiety level in general.     A common problem while driving in heavy traffic is that your muscles tighten up.  You may find that you are gripping the steering wheel far too tightly without realizing it. Your arms and shoulders tighten up, as well.  When you feel this happening let out a deep breathe, and loosen the grip on the steering wheel, and let your whole body relax.   Exercise is the one of the better ways to lower your adrenaline and cortical levels. You might try exercising to music at home.  A daily exercise plan at the local fitness center is good, if you can afford it.  Going for a walk, each day.  Going for a bike ride.      In going for a walk you may only be able to go a block at first.  You should give yourself credit for even this small step.  Maybe tomorrow you can go one and a half blocks.  In time you will be able to go a mile or more.  
Many people find deep breathing exercises helpful.  This increases the oxygen level in the brain, and removes the excess carbon dioxide, which helps to reduce your anxiety.     The more you think about having a panic attack, the more likely you will have one.  I would suggest that you try to use a distraction to get your mind off of your perceived fearful  situation.  In the case of driving down the highway you might turn on the radio to a program that interests you, or to your favorite music station.  Put in a relaxation tape or soft music tape in your tape player.      Because everyone is different, and has different interests and likes, it is important to find an activity that will take your mind completely off your anxiety.

 

  

 

One distraction that seems to work well for everyone is singing.   If  you sing or hum along to a tape or CD that you enjoy, you are using a completely different part of the brain than when you are thinking or speaking.

  

 

 

  

 

The idea here is to pick out some of your favorite positive music that has lyrics, and sing along with it to block out the unwanted negative thoughts.   If the singing portion of your brain is more active, then the thinking portion of your brain is less active.

  

 

 

  

 

 If you can't sing because you can't get away from other people, you can  hum under your breath.  Humming along to a song in your head keeps you in a more relaxed and peaceful state and doesn't allow the automatic thinking to come in, and get you going again.

  

 

 

  

 

Regardless of which distractions you choose, it is important to find several that work for you.   You will not have to use distractions for the rest of your life.  You only using distractions in the beginning to stop dwelling on these perceived dangerous situations.  

  

Planning a long trip around rest periods were you can stop and take a leisurely stroll to admire the scenery, can be a good distraction to lower adrenaline and cortical levels.  

  

  

                            DISTRACTION SUGGESTIONS

  

 

 

  

 

I.  Exercising

  

 

2.  Listening to music

  

 

3.  Reading a book

  

 

4.  Swimming

  

 

5.  Gardening

  

 

6.  Surfing the internet

  

 

7.  Talking to a positive friend

  

 

8.  Watching a video tape - something funny  

( Laughter is always a good way to lower the stress level.) 

  

 

9.  Walking around the block

  

 

10. Playing with or walking your pets

  

 

11. Going for a ride in the car

  

 

12. Sit down, de-stress, and slow talk to yourself

  

 

13. An interest or hobby you enjoy

  

 

14. Singing or humming along to music

  

 

  

A distraction can be anything that works for you to temporarily get your mind off a perceived stressful situation that you can't avoid.  

  

  

  How To Use Desentization Therapy Correctly

 

  

 

 

  

 

Many of the tasks we face in real life, are things that we find to be anxiety causing.   But we need to actively working on doing these things, and it is essential that we TURN AROUND our beliefs and thoughts WHILE we are doing them.

  

 

 

  

 

Why ?  Because you can expose yourself to anxiety-causing situations over and over again - and it still never reduces the anxiety.   

  

In fact, daily exposure to very large social fears, that emotionally crippled you, and facing your fears only make things worse.

  

 

 

  

 

Why ?  

  

Because you don't face your fears in the appropriate way.  You are only setting yourself up for defeat and failure.

  

 

 

  

 

  

  

 

 That big anxiety situation was too strong for you.  It was too intense.  There was too much anxiety for you to handle, and so you crashed and burned. 

  

 

  

 

Your feelings about yourself plummet,  You become depressed,  and you are surer than ever that you will never get over this dreadful traumatic anxiety.

  

 

 

  

 

By facing your fears in this way,  you handle the situation incorrectly.  

  

You should face one small situation, learning to be successful at it, and then move on to the next small situation.  After a while, all the small situations in which you become successful turn into bigger situations,  and your anxiety begins to diminish and is no longer in control. 

  

The common element between all the anxiety disorders is a "feeling of lack of control". 

 

  

 

We are exposed to anxiety-causing situations every day of our lives. 

  

It may be on the job, in an elevator, in heavy traffic, a social occasion, college classes, or some other necessary responsibility  (things we usually can't avoid) ,  but simply exposing ourselves to the fearful activity is not enough.

  

 

 

  

 

Exposure, by itself, done in the wrong way, means the anxiety NEVER goes away, even if you performed that fearful activity every single day of your life for twenty years !   

  

That explains why "facing your fears" or "flooding" yourself with fearful anxieties does not work for people who have anxiety.

  

 

 

  

 

You do need practice and use systematic exposure.  And you do need to gradually work up to meeting your fears.  But the biggest mistake you, and many times, therapists make, is to force yourself to meet your fears before you are ready.

  

 

  

  

 

The secret to this "face your fears" analogy is that you can only face one fear at a time,  and it needs to be a small fear to start with.   

  

You must always move up the pyramid slowly, and in a deliberate well planned manner.

  

 

 

  

 

For example, if you don't feel you could introduce yourself to a small group of people, you may be ready to introduce yourself to one new person, depending on the situation and circumstances.

  

 

 

  

 

By taking each new step slowly as it comes along,  and repeating it, you are working against your anxiety in a positive, permanent way. 

In my last posting "Panic Attack Prevention Strategies" I used the cut and paste method to post it. Unfortunately computers have a mind of their own and the result was all the various type sizes.  

  

Ops, Sorry. 

I am a doctoral candidate studying Procrastination. Is it appropriate for me to provide a link to my on-line survey (in will be active in two months). The data will be used for my dissertation research and will have IRB approval. 

  

Thank you for your help. 

This is the introduction to Lesson 9; Installment three of my free CBT course.  It was an introduction  to an e-mail sent to me by Bev. on  “Stress Management.”

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

Hi Everyone,

  

 

 

  

 

We are reaching close to the midway point of my course.

  

 

 

  

 

When I realized that my son had permanently overcame his anxiety through the use of CBT,

  

 

 

  

 

I felt obligated to use the knowledge that I had gained about anxiety disorders and bipolar disorder,

  

 

 

  

 

to at least help a few people regain their true personality, as Dave had done.

  

 

 

  

 

By simply believing that he was "stupid" as a young child, he told himself thousands of times,

  

 

 

  

 

that he was either mentally retarded or just plain stupid,

  

 

 

  

 

when in fact neither was true.

  

 

 

  

 

As a result his true personality, was not only hidden from those he came into contact with,

  

 

 

  

 

but also himself.

  

 

 

  

 

As a result his life was put on hold for forty three years.

  

 

 

  

 

He called it, "his lifetime jail sentence of fear and misery, even murderers have shorter sentences."

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

I have been forced into a support role in helping my wife, daughter and Dave, 

  

 

 

  

 

 deal with anxiety and depression for countless years.

  

 

 

  

 

In the past five years I have spent endless hours, and a fair bit of money,

  

 

 

  

 

researching the treatment of anxiety and depression.       

  

 

 

  

 

 I have learned that psychological disorders,

  

 

 

  

 

regardless of what form they may take, whether is one of the anxiety disorders,

  

 

 

  

 

or a mental illness, such as bipolar disorder, the results are devastating for many.

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

Most people who suffer from anxiety and depression seldom seek help, 

  

 

 

  

 

and when they do their efforts often prove futile, 

  

 

 

  

 

which further deepens their depression and anxiety, as was Dave's case. 

  

 

  

  

 

 

  

 

Dave stated many times that he hoped that his suffering had a purpose,

  

 

 

  

 

as he would not wish this suffering on his worsted enemy.

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 For this reason I decided that Dave's suffering should not be in vain.

  

 

 

  

 

Therefore I have decided to use the knowledge I have gained to help others get better.

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

Thus this course.

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

In offering the course I also have learned much from you, as well.

  

 

 

  

 

The following e-mail message I  received from Bev. is just one example:  

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

Mr. Rowden...I just received this from a friend.   Pretty interesting I must say

  

 

 

  

 

Bev

  

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

 

  

 

This is a portion of an e-mail sent to me by one of our group:

  

 

 

  

 

Thank you for giving me and my brother the best Christmas present we will ever receive !!!

  

 

I can’t believe the difference in my brother already. Why oh why! Can’t these doctors realize that so many of our mental diseases can be healed through teaching the brain how to re-think, instead of making zombies out of millions of people.  I go back to the saying, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” Especially when some else wastes it.  

Hi this is pinetree,  

  

Have a look at my postings on this message board, then click on my user name to look at my profile for more information.  

I tried CBT, only, for a couple of years and had very little result. Only when the therapy was coupled with medication did I start to get back into the swing of things. After a few years with both, I was able to discontinue my therapy, continue the training on my own, and then eventually, with my doctors permission, was also able to wean myself from the medication. I still suffer from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and slight agoraphobia, but I am able to contain it, for the most part. My husband's insurance does not pay for mental health issues, either therapy or medication wise, as it is seen as "unnecessary" by the insurance carrier. (Bull if you ask me, but there is little we can do about it at this point.) Luckily, I am able to, with the help and support of my family and friends, get myself through my darker periods and live a normal life.

Hi this is pinetree,   This is an e-mail I received from Gail.   She just joined our group about a week ago, as a result of my posting on this message board.   Mr. Rowden,  Thank you for the information.  I am starting on my recovery today, Dave's story is so very inspiring, I am now full of hope that one day I will be free of GAD and agoraphobia and panic attacks. Gail   This is my response,   I was hoping that you might be able to relate to Dave's story, as you said you suffered from GAD and agoraphobia.  The reason I asked Dave to tell his story, was to, inspire people to believe that if he could do it, just maybe they could do it also.   Dave always talked about seeing a "White Rhino". Someone who had actually overcame GAD and  agoraphobia. Hopefully Dave can be your "white rhino".   Recovery begins when you start to believe you can overcome anxiety.  If you truly believe, you will put in the effort required to get better.  Even as little as a year ago, I did not know if Dave would ever conquer his anxiety.  It is his belief, and mine, that he has not only overcame his anxiety, but it is permanent.  We see no sign of relapse.   The skills that he has learned along the way as he went through this course. not only helped him get better, but will prevent him from ever returning to the world of anxiety.   Pat      

I never tried to imply that CBT doesn't work, simply that for it to work for me I had to couple it with medication.

Hi,  

  

I misread your posting. For some medication is necessary as a tool to help people relax enough to be able to focus on the CBT.  In my son's case medication did not work at all. I think his neurotransmitter level was so low that no medication would work.  I think in his case that the amino acids that he took for five months were a factor in him getting better.  All I know is that I believe that he has permanently overcame his anxiety, and I see no sign of relapse.  It was tough.  He had many setbacks along the way, but that's to be expected as some event is a trigger to cause you to use one of your old negative neural pathways, but the new ones you have developed using CBT are still there.  As you use them more they get stronger, and the old negative pathways die out from non use.   Sorry for  misreading your posting.