Quote From: xraytek I was so thankful and glad to see this show. I was shocked and excited at the same time to hear that people can overcome agoraphobia within such a short amount of time. I WANT TO OVERCOME IT!! I have been struggling for about 24 years and wish I could do more, like fly in an airplane again, go to the mall, take a job that has elevators and actually ride in the elevator and not have to take the stairs all the time.
I am a single mother and I feel GUILTY that my son has not been able to do things that most people can do. He wants to go in an airplane so much and there is no way that I can even image getting up the nerve fly with him. I feel like he is embarrassed when I avoid so many things. How can I get better??
My first one happened when I was in college, my boyfriend (later we married) and I were at his parents house for Christmas Eve. Everything was going good and all of a sudden, I got light headed and dizzy and short of breath, then my heart started pounding faster. I went into the bedroom to try and lie down and I kept feeling like I was going crazy or going to die. I remember calling my mom that lived about 2 hrs away hoping that she could calm me down and make me feel normal again... I ended up going to the emergency room that night. When I arrived at the ER, they hooked me up to a heart monitor and started yelling to get this and that STAT. I had tachycardia and they thought I had a pulmonary embolism. Needless to say this did not help me a bit, I am an X-ray Tech and I knew what a PE was and this made my panic attack worse and my tachycardia worse. Then they did a lung perfusion scan on me. This was awful, I already felt claustrophobic and hard to breathe, and then they put this mask real tight on my face and had me breathing in radioactive nuclides. Great, I felt like I was going to die right then and there.
After all the tests they did on me, they ended up sending me home with no diagnosis. They basically ruled out the pulmonary embolism and sent me home telling me that I was okay.
That was horrible.. I kept getting the panic attacks and they kept getting worse. My husband would tell me to drink a couple beers and relax. My parents would make fun of me. I totally started avoiding almost everything I could. I thought I was crazy and no one cared.
I tried to drive home to visit my parents one weekend and couldn't drive more than 5-10 miles down the road and my heart would starting beating and I would start to gag and would turn around and go back home.
Home always seemed to be SAFE. I missed a BIG part of my life. I feel the best years is when a woman is in her early 20's and should be enjoying life and here I was miserable. I began to avoid more and more each day. Even the elevators at work. It was a pretty large hospital with 7 floors and I still have nightmares about elevators to this day.
My husband divorced me after about 7 years of marriage. I hated myself and could not blame him for leaving me. Things got worse then. I had to force myself to drive to work and drive home each day. When I was on call at the hospital, I would just stay at the hospital and try and lay down in the day surgery.
I remember gagging all the way to work and home in the car. I would do anything to distract myself to help me to stop thinking about going crazy or dying. I couldn't tell anyone, what would they think? She is nuts and stupid like my family and husband told me.
I would go drinking after work every night. (I worked 2nd shift) This was the only way that I could get to sleep. I was afraid I was going to turn into an alcoholic.
I was ordering food from the Schwann's man. I tried to go to the grocery store and would end up leaving my cart with my groceries in it and driving home with no groceries. I would beg my parents to help me and get me groceries. I couldn't drive anywhere out of my way but to work and home. If I got the panic attack at work, I would go the bathroom and would pretend that I was throwing up by pouring water into the toilet and making the sound of throwing up at the same time so they would send me home.
One night, I was watching the late night infomercials -those shows where they are trying to sell their product as a marathon. And it was on TV, my craziness, my feelings, my panic attacks, my agoraphobia!! They were talking about how I felt. I was so shocked to see this. I was not the only person that felt this way! I WAS NOT ALONE AND I WAS NOT CRAZY! It was a set of tapes and a booklet with steps to follow to get better. It cost about $225.00 and I finally dialed and ordered it.
I was so excited when it came 4 weeks later, I started the program alone. I was suppose to have some one support me and help me.. But who?? My family just made fun of me not being able to go shopping. Well, I did it myself. I listened to the tapes and did the worksheets and mailed them in. I would get graded on my progress and felt that I may be accomplishing something. I still couldn't drive out of town or to the store though.
I got up enough courage to make an appointment with a counselor though. I was to bring someone with me to the appointment. I choose my mother, wrong person. She was trying to get me committed for being crazy, that did not help at all. She also told the counselor that I was an alcoholic. I was so frustrated, I wanted to get over my panic attacks and be able to do things and this made it worse by stressing that I was going to be committed as a crazy person.
Well, finally my mother stopped coming and the counselor helped me to start driving as far as I could each day and to drive farther the next time. He also told me not to be discouraged if I couldn't drive very far one day.
I think it helped me, but not as fast as Dr Phil mentioned on the show. It has taken me over 15 years to drive back and forth to work, drive out of town, go to the grocery store, go to the back part of the stores. I still have so many things that I want to do and I still avoid them. Elevators, Flying, going to concerts, women of faith convention, staying in motels above the first floor.
Is there anything I can do to overcome my avoidance??? I want to start living my life and take my son places besides my SAFE areas. PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME.....and him...
Thanks for reading this, I was really kind of scared to write this that it may trigger a panic feeling, but it actually made me feel good to talk about this. THANK YOU FOR HAVING THIS ON YOUR SHOW.. AND PLEASE HELP ANYONE THAT HAS THIS...IT IS MISERABLE AND IT MAKES A PERSON FEEL UNWORTHY.
I would love to be able to help everyone that has agoraphobia so they don't have to live their lives avoiding life.
Respectfully,
Diane
Dear Diane,
This is my first time on Dr. Phil's message board, but I read your post and felt the need to reply to you. I too suffer from panic attacks/agoraphobia. I have been on several support boards and it can be comforting to know that your not alone and/or crazy. There are TOO many of us who suffer from this disorder. I will say first and foremost, self medicating (with alcohol) is NOT the answer. I love Dr. Phil, but everytime I hear him say "this can be cured in a short amount of time", I think, it can?. Then tell us how!!! I have sought treatment for this problem for years, I have done everything the doctors say I need to do, and still i struggle daily. Anyway, I was really saddened for you because of the way your family has treated you. I just can't fathom that your mother laughs at you, and wanted to have you committed because she thinks your crazy. You are NOT crazy. I had a therapist tell me one time "this condition is as real as someone with breast cancer". It IS a medical condition. I would suggest that you find a different support group, other than you family (though doesn't seem like much support there). I am always surprised that this condition affects so many people, yet is hardly ever talked about. If the subject is even brought up, it seems to be mentioned only in passing. I had a behavioral therapist (who was great) who actually came to my house for my counseling. We would approach my problems slowly and with baby steps. This did help me greatly but it did not cure me. I still struggle daily (hourly) and am considering calling her again. I would suggest that you try something like this. I know different treatments work differently for everybody. Talk with you family doctor about medication. Please feel free to e-mail me if you just want someone to talk with.
Sincerely,
Jamie
