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Topic : Fears, Phobias and Anxiety Disorders

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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:58:51 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have an irrational fear of flying, spiders, leaving your home, or one of a host of other fears? Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks? You're not alone. Join those who understand as we struggle to overcome our fears.

Anxiety Disorder Resources

 
rhonda4744
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November 4, 2005, 6:23 am PST

mediation

Thus saith the Lord God,
 
My Children, "Ye have sold yourselves for naught: redemption comes from God, and cannot be bought with money"
 
"My name every day is continually blasphemed. Therefore, my people shall know my name: Therefore in this day, they shall know that it is I that speaketh".
 
BEHOLD: IT IS I
"The Alter"
 
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storyofmyl
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November 4, 2005, 6:48 am PST

Thanks For the "LIFT"

Quote From: mmast55

Hi Tannie....You're right on target with believing that's there more to your fear of driving, than just driving....Also, it is indeed ALL up to you (don't ya just hate that!).  So, you've already begun to solve your problem.  Really.  There's alot of people out there that haven't figured out what you have already figured out!  You're on the right path!  Plus, ya got God on your side!  (He's a very good person to have on your team I hear!)  Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE Oprah and Dr. Phil, ( I think they should run for office.)  but I wouldn't sit around wasting preciouse time waiting for them to come to your rescue.  All they can do is give you the tools to solve your problems.  Like you said, "It's all up to you".  There are ALOT of books out there that can help you.  Could you get your husband or someone to take you to a bookstore?  It does indeed sound like you have some other issues.  You are obviously dealing with alot.  Molestation, alcoholic father.  I don't have a clue about how being molested messes ya up.  Just from hearing shows on Oprah.  It sounds like it can really be another whole issue.  I'm far from being an expert, but in general, I think all of the "tragedies" that happen to us when we are young, manifest or create basically the same problems in all of us.  For example:  low self-esteem, people-pleasing, perfectionism, negative thinking, over-eating, over-drinking, over-working, over-shopping and the list goes on and on.  Like Oprah says,  all of these are just a sympton that there is something else going on.  And you have already figured that out.  I've been involved with therapy, 12 step groups for quite awhile.  They really do help if you're willing to do the work.  I've found that having support is extremely important.  Someone to bounce things off of.  I am far from being "cured".  But I keep plugging away.  Today in fact, I'm starting to read a book about anxieties.  It was recommended by a therapist.  It seems to touch on every negative, self-defeating behavior I have.  It is a workbook also.  The author suggests activities at the end of every chapter.  Activities that will challenge this self-defeating behavior.  He suggest that you study each chapter at least 1 week.  I'm actually kinda excited to begin.  The name of the book is:ANXIETY, PHOBIAS, & PANIC. A Step-by-Step Program for Regaining Control of Your Life.  The author is:  Reneau Z. Peurifoy, M.A., M.F.C.C.  It's published by Warner Books.  It's not on the bookshelves.  I had to have the bookstore order it for me.  I'm sure there are many others out there, but I have had this book for a while (procrastination, another issue) and decided to read it.  I hope I have been of some help.  You can learn to cope with all  of your issues.  It can be hard, painful and a pain in the but, but not doing anything is more painful.  Take care, Mary     
Hello Mary,I pray that things are good in your life. Thank You for your post.What you wrote made me sit up a little taller in my seat. I re-read it several times,just so I  could believe that someone knew the feelings I have.It was only  just a few months ago that I began to let myself think about this, let alone speak of it. To be able to say things out loud and not hold it in anymore is helping me to make steps toward believing in myself. I did find the book that you sug.,I ordered it on-line. Now when it comes, all I have to do is read it.  ha ha       I'm going to overcome this thing Mary, Thank You for caring enough about another humanbeing.You are an Angel in Training. Talk to you soon,Take Care,Tannie
 
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storyofmyl
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November 4, 2005, 7:55 am PST

You Have Truly Inspired Me,I Want to Do Whatever it Takes and I Will !!

Quote From: lauratexas

You know, sometimes I would get stuck in my house for weeks at a time. I also get afraid to drive, afraid when anyone leaves the house, afraid of my dreams and even afraid that my fears are really preminitions. I tried religion, meditation, medication..etc. First of all, it CAN get better. Much better. I began to understand that I had a lot of 'crutches' for dealing with pain and fear in my past (I was sexually abused as a child). As I went through therapy I began to lose the ability to rely on things that used to distract me from my fears (alcohol, sex, relationship addictions...) When I recognized that I couldn't fit those behaviors into the life I was living I got rid of them. The problem was, all that was left was FEAR. I had finally come face to face with it. There are a number of ways I dealt with it: 1) I prayed about it and asked God to send me help. 2) I took time to think about my thoughts. I thought "these fears are unfounded", "I can do this", "millions of people do this everyday". If I started having negative thoughts I would say to myself "just because you are thinking this, doesn't make it real" or "Is this what I am really afraid of?" 3) I took a break from watching the news and programs that had disasters as topics. 4) I ate well, exercised and tried to force myself to get some rest. 5) I started seeing a chiropractor that did a neuro-modulation technique that helped my mind and body work more efficiently. It was supposed to help balance out my hormones and increase absorption of vitamins in food and a bunch of other things. My understanding is that my body was still reacting on a 'fight or flight' level or 'panic state'. All kinds of hormones and responses were happening in my body when they shouldn't be. Well, I don't know how it worked but I noticed less panic afterwards. 6) I started giving myself permission to enjoy things in life. I started by taking chances and letting people in. I didn't want to be a needy friend or a doormat so I took things slowly. But, my life coach made me do something drastic. She made me go up to a perfect stranger and ask them for help. In my case, I went up to a person and asked them to pump my gas for me because the fumes made me naseous when I was pregnant. She said I had to learn to ask for what I needed and to love myself enough to accept the gift of someone's help. That was a huge moment for me! After that, I began letting my friends back in my life and asking for help when I needed it so that I didn't gradually become helpless and needy. Well, I could go on but I won't. Just know that you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you that love won't cure. Love life, love yourself. And if you need help, let me know - LMK
 Everything you wrote made sense to me. It has me thinking about alot of things that I have intentionally block out of my head.(it always comes back ..) I think once I can stop making excuses and really let myself feel . It hurts when I think about the lost of "life" that I've had. Talking about how I feel has helped me to want to pick  myself up,out of a "pool of myself". I'm only looking forward to good things  and I will take all you said and see how I can apply it to my needs.I know  it won't be a "quick fix".After living with fear for so long,I don't know how to live without it.   I'M READY TO LEARN!!    Thank You so much for caring about me.Bless You,Hope to talk to you soon,Tannie
 
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pocite
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November 4, 2005, 12:20 pm PST

Fear of roaches

Hi everyone.... 

 I just need someone to talk to. My husband is already kinda tired of me and my fears, I guess, and there is no one I could talk to...so I turn to you. Thanks for spending some of your time reading my message. 

 I think I have a problem. We moved in Hawaii 4 months ago, and we live in a 1.200 $ apartment, really nice, but still, there are roaches... almost everyday, I have to kill, At least one. And they are big, huge... and I think I'm getting crazy because of this.. When I see them , I get scared, and sad, I'm all sweaty, and don't know what to do ...I keep looking on the floors, and the walls, and every where I can possibly see...and this is kinda stressful, and I really want to know if there is anything I can do.. to get well...I know there is nothing they can do to me, but still...I am afraid of them...All day long, I'm inside the apartment, alone, since my husband is working, and I hate to just stare at the walls, thinking that anytime, one of them will appear .... I do use a lot of spray, but I guess it's not good enough.... 

Is there any help for me out there, that doesn't involve me, approaching my fears? Because I heard that this is the best way to treat your fears, by confronting them. And I know I can't do that. 

Thank you for your time.... 

 Elena 
 
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mmast55
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November 4, 2005, 5:00 pm PST

Hi Kelli

Quote From: kelli__101

i am ready to come clean... on my life. I am a very closed off person, for 12 years now i have not paid taxes an lived off people coming to my residence for" massage""all because my fear is that we are all just a bunch of clothed animals ,living in organized chaos.I dwell on ths day after  day...no one knows becausei don't know anyone.. i have no drive, an feel everythng is an illusion other then food clothing an shelter.i lied to my whole faamilt... for years. I have a brother an a grandma... theydon't know.my mom an i  don't talk...someone???tell me what you think
Hi, I don't know if I can be of any help, but I wanted you to know that I did indeed read your post.  What kind of help are you looking for? What did you do before you closed yourself off for 12 years?  Do you want to go out and work?  Are you lonely? Depressed?  (Just trying to get a better grasp of what you want.)  I'm not saying that I have any answers, but I could feel your frustration.  I wanted to respond because it really hurts when you've reached out and no one responds.  Don't give up!  There is alot of help out there.  Keep trying till you find some.  I'll always be glad to talk to ya!.....Mary
 
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mmast55
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November 4, 2005, 5:22 pm PST

Hi Kathy

Quote From: homebnd55

Wanted to get back to you yesterday,  I could'nt get alone time.  I know how it is to feel lonely, bored, nothing to do, no freinds.  I have one that I can talk on the phone to,  I dont talk to her that much though once in a while ,we never see eachother.  She is a freind from my teenage years.  Our lives just got seperated when this panic-agoraphobia hit me.  I always have someone here in the house with me.  My son or daughter, when my husband is working.  I babysit one of my grandsons and my neighbors baby.  I still get depressed, and feel like I'm locked inside myself.  I have trouble sleeping .  Even that isn't an out or rest for me!   

                Well I live in NY near Albany.  Where are you?                    Kathy 

Glad to hear from ya!  I live in the midwest.  Close to Chicago.  I was actually born and raised in a very small town in Iowa.   Had a wonderful childhood growing up in a small town!  I've lived out here for 25+ years.    How did your anxieties start?  Are you able to leave your house?  Thank God my agoraphobia is practically  gone.  The only time I get nervous if I have to leave the house, is if I've been isolated for a couple of days.  Right now it would be very easy for me to do that.  Since I quit my main job and I live alone, It's all to easy to slip into a depression.  I've been working really hard "watching " my negative thinking.  I believe that's where the majority of my anxiety stems from.   How old are your children?  It must be enjoyable being around your grandchild so much.  You're not spoiling them are ya?  Easy to do.  Talk to ya later....Mary 
 
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mmast55
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November 5, 2005, 8:07 am PST

Couldn't stop thinking of you.....

Quote From: kelli__101

i am ready to come clean... on my life. I am a very closed off person, for 12 years now i have not paid taxes an lived off people coming to my residence for" massage""all because my fear is that we are all just a bunch of clothed animals ,living in organized chaos.I dwell on ths day after  day...no one knows becausei don't know anyone.. i have no drive, an feel everythng is an illusion other then food clothing an shelter.i lied to my whole faamilt... for years. I have a brother an a grandma... theydon't know.my mom an i  don't talk...someone???tell me what you think
Hi Kelli,  The more I thought about your post, the more I understood.  In my mid 20's, is when I started having serious problems with anxiety/depression.  I did't have a clue what was wrong with me.  I really thought I was going crazy.  I searched my mind, day after day trying to figure out what was wrong with me.  I became very isolated and afraid.  I remember thinking about "we are just a bunch of animals."  I was living in an apartment then, and I remember looking at all the other buildings, with their individual apartments and comparing it to "caves", as in cavemen.  I compared it to ants also.  "We all go out and run through our little paths to survive and then come home to our little holes."   I'm 50 now, and have an understanding what was wrong with me.   I was SO DEPRESSED.  I hated myself; I loathed myself; I couldn't stand myself.  I did't go anywhere, except bars when I was drunk out of my mind, I didn't do anything.  I was sleeping around alot, in an attempt to "find love".  It was a very painful, confusing time in my life.  I think I started thinking about ourselves as being "animals", because I was so depressed and wasn't "living"; I was indeed merely "existing", just getting my very basic needs met.  Food and shelter.  Just like an animal.....I was really starting to loose touch with reality and I knew it.  I remember feeling so trapped.  I didn't think I would ever get out of my "mental prison".  I prayed to God to give my life to someone who wanted to live.  It was a very dark time.  But here I am!  Far from perfect, but some days I actually enjoy being alive.  I'm still on the journey to try to love myself.  I hope this might have helped you....I'd love to hear from you......Take care.....Mary 
 
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lauratexas
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November 5, 2005, 11:41 am PST

Intentionally thinking...

Quote From: storyofmyl

 Everything you wrote made sense to me. It has me thinking about alot of things that I have intentionally block out of my head.(it always comes back ..) I think once I can stop making excuses and really let myself feel . It hurts when I think about the lost of "life" that I've had. Talking about how I feel has helped me to want to pick  myself up,out of a "pool of myself". I'm only looking forward to good things  and I will take all you said and see how I can apply it to my needs.I know  it won't be a "quick fix".After living with fear for so long,I don't know how to live without it.   I'M READY TO LEARN!!    Thank You so much for caring about me.Bless You,Hope to talk to you soon,Tannie
I just had a long talk with my sister who has persistent thoughts that trouble her. It just amazes me how we give ourselves permission to believe the thoughts that are in our head. Not all of them are true and many of them just repeat our fears back to us until we think they are real. One of the things my sister and I figured out is that happiness is unconditional! Meaning, you can NEVER tell yourself, "I'll be happy if...". You simply just deserve happiness and there are no ifs ands or buts about it. The minute you say, "I'll be happy if..., I'll be safe if..., I'll be able to do this if..." you give life the ammunition to take happiness, safety or ability from you. You have to confront yourself and say "I'm going to be happy EVEN if...I'm going to be fine, safe, able, etc!" I JUST AM! Even if the worst happens I will go on. It makes me feel good just saying it. Anyway, I hope things are going well for you. Do keep in touch - Laura
 
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lauratexas
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November 5, 2005, 1:56 pm PST

I feel for you...

Quote From: pocite

Hi everyone.... 

 I just need someone to talk to. My husband is already kinda tired of me and my fears, I guess, and there is no one I could talk to...so I turn to you. Thanks for spending some of your time reading my message. 

 I think I have a problem. We moved in Hawaii 4 months ago, and we live in a 1.200 $ apartment, really nice, but still, there are roaches... almost everyday, I have to kill, At least one. And they are big, huge... and I think I'm getting crazy because of this.. When I see them , I get scared, and sad, I'm all sweaty, and don't know what to do ...I keep looking on the floors, and the walls, and every where I can possibly see...and this is kinda stressful, and I really want to know if there is anything I can do.. to get well...I know there is nothing they can do to me, but still...I am afraid of them...All day long, I'm inside the apartment, alone, since my husband is working, and I hate to just stare at the walls, thinking that anytime, one of them will appear .... I do use a lot of spray, but I guess it's not good enough.... 

Is there any help for me out there, that doesn't involve me, approaching my fears? Because I heard that this is the best way to treat your fears, by confronting them. And I know I can't do that. 

Thank you for your time.... 

 Elena 

First of all, I hate roaches. I used to live in an apartment where they would fly around at night no matter how much we cleaned. One night I told my husband that I was going to sleep at my Mom's house if I saw one more roach and opened up the medicine cabinet to find one sitting on my toothbrush. I HATE ROACHES. Let me just say that I think using a lot of spray is toxic for you as well as the roaches. You really do need to get outside. A little bit of the Hawaiian and sun and the fresh air will do you good. You also need to find something for you while your husband is at work. I know it is easy to feel isolated when you move to a knew place where you might not know anyone. You need to meet people. Join a walkers group, a book club, anything. Get out there and focus on anything but the roaches. That will go a long way in dealing with your fears. If there is one thing that my husband has taught me is that I have to learn how to find my own happiness and fight my own fears. I know it sounds harsh and not the way most of us would like it to be, but it's true. If you depend on someone else for that then you begin to worry and obsess about that person and if they should ever leave or if something happens to them. If you give yourself the power to make you happy then you can just be happy and bring so much fullfilment to your relationship. Anyway, I know I rattle on. Hope some of this helps. Take care, Laura
 
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homebnd55
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November 5, 2005, 7:12 pm PST

IN MY OWN JAIL

Quote From: mmast55

Glad to hear from ya!  I live in the midwest.  Close to Chicago.  I was actually born and raised in a very small town in Iowa.   Had a wonderful childhood growing up in a small town!  I've lived out here for 25+ years.    How did your anxieties start?  Are you able to leave your house?  Thank God my agoraphobia is practically  gone.  The only time I get nervous if I have to leave the house, is if I've been isolated for a couple of days.  Right now it would be very easy for me to do that.  Since I quit my main job and I live alone, It's all to easy to slip into a depression.  I've been working really hard "watching " my negative thinking.  I believe that's where the majority of my anxiety stems from.   How old are your children?  It must be enjoyable being around your grandchild so much.  You're not spoiling them are ya?  Easy to do.  Talk to ya later....Mary 

  Hi Mary, 

                I lived here in the same location all my life.  Live in the city area.  Always wanted to live more near the country, because of  my phobia I never got anywhere.  I blame myself for most everything that happens in my families lives.  I feel like I hurt them so much with my dependency.  My husband is really good about accepting me the way I am, working around my problem.  He always did the grocery shopping,  took the kids to drs. appointments.  Went to their schools.  Heck he even had to shop for my clothes,  underwear and bras was a real kick for him!!  At least he has good taste in clothes, most the time.   

       I am not able to do anything on my own,  outside of the house.  My husband is the only one I will venture out with once in a blue  moon, and even then I want someone else with us.  I am a big pain in my own butt.     The way this started for me was I went out with a few co-workers to celebrate my boss leaving.  At the end of the night we all went back to his apt..  He lit up some pot, and was not into that kind of stuff.  Well peir pressure ya' know.  I did take a hit off it and the next thing ya' know I was having a full blown attack.  I left and walked home a few blocks away.  It just wouldn't stop.  I was scared to death, could'nt sleep.  Next day felt the same way.  And from there on in.  I had to quit working ect.. Been in my own jail since.  I really hate feeling like I'm locked inside myself.  I cried so many tears not being able to do things with my children and go to their school functions,  parks,  places.  I wanted to be a good mother,  cause I didn't have a loving, good family.  I do know that I gave my children lots of love, lots of kisses and hugs.  They are all grown up,  my youngest is 17 boy,  here with me,  20 girl who lives here with her baby , he is 1 1/2.    I have another son 23, married 2 children and one on the way.  I have a 26 yr girl married 2 boys, a 30 yr. girl married , a girl and boy.   They are all good kids,  not angels per say,  I'm pretty proud to be their mom.   I don't want to bore you with my life all at once ,  I'll be waiting to hear from you.   

                                                                          Kathy 

  

 
 
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