Hi all. I'm a 33 y/o single mom of 1 who has been on disability for 3 years now because of chronic depression & acute anxiety attacks. I've been on meds for it for 9 years. 
I've been to 2 therapists, neither of which would do anything except basically ask me 'How's it going'. I'm on Medicaid because I'm poor, and I can't even find a doctor to treat me. 
I've lived the last 7 years raising my daughter and nothing else. Dealing with a controlling mother, dealing with being broke every month,etc. 
I have no friends, haven't had a date in over 7 years (since I left my daughters' dad), and I'm to the end of my rope. 
Last winter, my doctor at the time said I needed light therapy, but of course the insurance wouldn't pay for it, and every winter I get into a major depression, no matter how hard I try not to. 
I've been sick for almost 2 weeks now, had to go to the ER because I was almost passing out and that was causing me to panic, so it was the most HORRIBLE feeling in the world. Just when I was starting to feel better, today I'm nauseous and having diarreah. I'm so TIRED, I'm sick of being sick, I'm sick of being alone, I'm sick of being broke. I can't work and even if I could, because of the changes in the state Medicaid, any money I'd make would go straight to the state! So I can't even get a job because they would take any money I made. 
I'm at the very end of trying to figure out what to do. I can't get medical help, I have no friends or family that can offer emotional help, I don't know what to do. 
Lately I've had the lowest feelings washing over me and I'm tired of hanging on. I almost just want to let go and let it take me. I'm tired of fighting and I can't get better. My daughter would be better off without me, but I'm afraid of who she'd be left with because her father has never been involved with her and he's a drunk and a drug user and he won't even pay child support, he hides his income, he abuses his girlfriends, and I don't want my baby living with him. 
I have nowhere and no one to turn to. I need a miracle to save me.